


Building Blocks

by Vagrant_Blvrd



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Leverage, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Alternate Universe- GTA V, Crossover, Gen, M/M, Multi, OT6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 92
Words: 96,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vagrant_Blvrd/pseuds/Vagrant_Blvrd
Summary: A place to keep various fic ideas and not!fics from Tumblr for my peace of mind.





	1. FAHC/Leverage Crossover (Gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That FAHC/Leverage crossover where Ryan and Eliot worked together once a while back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Original post.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/162104377526/fahcleverage-crossover-where-ryan-and-eliot)

FAHC/Leverage crossover where Ryan and Eliot worked together once a while back.

Long enough to get past the stage where they looked at each other as cannon fodder to the stage where Eliot trying to get Ryan’s enchilada recipe from him is a game between them. 

When the job ends they keep an ear out as to how the other one’s doing. They aren’t _friends_ , God, no, but it’s always a good idea to know what the one guy who’s almost - _almost_ \- as good as you is up to, you know? Never know when you might run into them on the wrong side. That’s all.

And then the Leverage crew ends up in Los Santos and get in over their heads. Their target is being backed by a rival of the Fakes, but they didn’t know that going in. Shit goes wrong and Eliot is struggling to get the others out and Ryan shows up.

And Eliot, okay. He has that “Oh, shit” moment when he turns and there’s the fucking Vagabond appearing out of the smoke because of course the building is burning down around them - Parker and Hardison, and oh is he going to have a talk with them after this - but Ryan just starts taking down the bruisers Eliot’s facing and Eliot will take what he can get.

Ryan gets them an escape route because the Fakes have been watching this crew for a while now, looking for a way to take them down with minimal casualties and Gavin’s in Ryan’s ear directing them. They’re joined by Michael and Jeremy on the way out, and Ray’s outside laying down cover fire

High speed chase because of course, and they end up at one of the Fakes’ safe houses where things are awkward and uncomfortable. 

Well, okay. More like Parker is fascinated with Ryan who isn’t really reacting.

(”You’ll understand when you meet Gavin.” Ryan says, when he notices Eliot giving him an odd look, and Eliot is just _concerned_.)

Hardison is just staring at Ryan, and then Michael and just everyone and realizing this may not be a good thing, because wow, no.

Eventually Geoff and the others get there and there’s the whole “What the fucking fuck were you doing?” and TEAM UPS.

Everyone staring at Ryan and Eliot when they bicker over recipes??? Funtimes, I don’t know. But when everything’s done and the rival crew is gone the Fakes and the Leverage crew are allies and look out for each other and whatnot.

Ryan and Eliot are like super happy for each other that they found a good crew, because when they met they were working for a nasty piece of work. Were in bad places in their lives, but they’ve come so far since then and just. Murder Bro and Hitter bro being low-key bros. (Ryan finally gives Eliot the enchilada recipe.)


	2. Sky Factory AU, version 1 (Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [original idea](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/163816439481/the-last-two-sky-factory-episodes-really-make-me) that (somehow) turned into [Echoes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213302).

The last two Sky Factory episodes really make me want that AU where Ryan’s not a mad scientist, just a moderately disgruntled one. 

He buys a compound run by a shady company the government shut down a few years back, and no one knows the whole story behind it? Just that it’s dirt cheap and also, local rumor says people have gone missing in the woods near the compound, never to be seen again. (But, hey. That’s probably just rumors, right???)

And Ryan’s got this sweet setup in the middle of nowhere, and sure, there’s some spooky house smack dab in the center of these state-of-the-art facilities that looks like the one from the old Scooby Doo intro, but that’s like. 

Not _totally_ weird, right? There probably aren’t any inter-dimensional portals or rifts in the basement that resulted in the shady company building the compound around it to study said inter-dimensional portals/rifts, because that would just be _silly_.

But Ryan’s new ~~mad scientist~~ moderately disgruntled scientist lab is getting bad press from the locals, so he call Jack in. Promises him his own lab space and whatnot to tinker with his plants if he comes out there and puts the locals at ease with his Jack-ness.

It works, but a few months on Geoff shows up and Ryan’s like, “Okay, well, there’s an empty building beside Jack’s labs?” And so Geoff begins his crimes against chickens. (Most of them don’t know about it until one gets loose and they stumble over some horrid abomination, Geoff frantically chasing after it with a net and flinging seeds at it - and even though it doesn’t have a face it manages to ea the seeds???)

Lindsay comes along at some point to help manage the day-to-day and she brings in Trevor and a some others that Ryan stick over in an empty building. (They find a way to use some of the less absurd creations to come out of the labs to turn a profit, keep the whole place funded.)

Michael gets brought in because they’ve been having trouble with local kids trying to break in to see what fresh hell is being wrought by these lunatics and gets roped into helping out in the labs from time to time. He’s the one to catch the pair of thieves that make it past the front gates and into Geoff’s labs, and don’t hear him coming because they’re just staring at the chickens in horror/awe.

And Ryan, okay. He’s just. He wanted a quite place to do his experiments but suddenly there are all these people??? (And good God, the chickens. So many chickens.)

He’s tempted to kick Gavin and Jeremy out, but they’ve Seen Things They Shouldn’t in the labs here, and also made observations as to why this experiment or that one isn’t working? Or just some smart comment that none of the others had considered, so he cuts them a deal: Work in the labs for a bit and he won’t call the cops on them.

They do because holy shit, this place is awesome, right?

At some point later down the road Ryan has to go somewhere for a symposium or something for ~~mad scientists~~ moderately disgruntled scientists. (”I don’t know how it happened? They just put me on a mailing list and it’s not like I could get away with not going after they sent the lab-warming gifts.”) 

He tells Gavin and Jeremy _not_ to fuck with his experiments while he’s gone because they’ve been his little helpers this whole time.

They don’t, but that might have been better because they end up making the fucking Doomsday Device and blow shit up while giggling like schoolkids all the while.

Everyone else is like, “Christ, we should have thrown them through the fucking inter-dimensional portal/rift when we had the chance.”

Ryan gets back and finds Gavin and Jeremy re-enacting a James Bond scene with the Doomsday Device and he’s just so proud of them, you know? SO. PROUD.


	3. Cat Burglar AU (Freewood)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That AU where Ryan's a ~~cat burglar~~ thief and Gavin's a hitman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/166118347636/ive-been-sick-and-wallowing-in-my-little-blanket)

I’ve been sick and wallowing in my little blanket fort the last couple of days watching AH LPs and I really want that FAHC AU where Ryan’s a ~~cat burglar~~ thief and Gavin’s a hitman and they have wacky shenanigans.

Like, Ryan just sort of falls into a life of crime? He’s pretty good with computers and he learned some weird shit from his theater days. The first time he burgles someone is some stupid college thing, a friend who sent the wrong thing to one of their professors and they know Ryan’s up for anything to help a pal, right? And it’s like something out of a bad sitcom, but Ryan burgles this professor’s house successfully and figures that’s it, you know? 

But then word gets out that he’s good with lock picks and security systems and whatever and things go from there. He ends up in Los Santos a some point, gets hired by people who never see his face, just contact him through the interwebs or phone calls or something - 

And one day he’s gets hired to steal ~important files from a politician or businessperson in Los Santos and runs into this guy who’s just murdered the hell out of his target (Gavin, it’s totally Gavin who just murdered this asshole).

Awkwardness because this probably isn’t great for Ryan, right? But then security guards or cops show up because the asshole’s cat tripped the alarms (Ryan missed one,or he disabled it for a set amount of time and that time ran out while he was wondering if this hitman was going to add him to his tally, fucking sue him) and they have to make their escape.

And then Gavin lets Ryan go, but reminds him if he tells anyone what happened Gavin will find him.

And Ryan, okay. Not about to talk anyway, since he’d be in trouble too, what with the burgling he does and all.

A little while later Gavin finds him anyway because he’s got a bit of a problem. A client who wants to meet face-to-face, but the problem is, Gavin doesn’t do that. (He did, before, but that was a bit of a disaster, his client not taking him seriously because he doesn’t cut a very intimidating figure and the man was a brute, wanted his hired killer to look like one, whatever that means.)

Ryan listens to this rant, not sure if he should believe it because ? and then Gavin just looks at him.

“What does that have to do with me?”

And now Gavin looks him up and down, eyebrow going up, smirk pulling at his mouth, and Ryan - 

Ryan ends up being the face people associate with Gavin’s unique talents. After an incident with some of Gavin’s enemies when Ryan was out getting snacks the Vagabond’s mask and face paint come on the scene, and it turns into this whole thing.

Everyone in Los Santos has a healthy respect for the Vagabond, not realizing the guy in the mask is this dorky, nerdy computer-savvy ~~cat burglar~~ thief. That the weird British guy he’s been seen with is the hacker he must have working for him. 

Ryan having no idea how the hell this happened, and having the shit scared out of him when Dan pops up one day - Gavin’s old partner who handles things across the pond. Has no idea who Ryan is, sneaking into Gavin’s apartment like this, and then wacky shenanigans where Gavin shows up and is like, “Oh, yes, this is my Ryan.”

(And then Ramsey comes along and tries to recruit the Vagabond and just wacky shenanigans all over the place I guess???)


	4. Spy AU - ridiculous version (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/166396879041/ryan-in-the-just-cause-3-lets-watch-episodes-is)

Ryan in the _Just Cause 3_ Let’s Watch episodes is how I imagine a ~super spy AU would go. 

You have (allegedly) suave super spy Ryan Haywood and his various handlers/techs/agents not on assignment back at super secret spy base screaming at him when he spends hours trying to get his super spy boat up to the enemy airship via helicopter. (Because they told him to, and thems the rules, y’know?)

(While everyone is suitably impressed by the cow “blender” incident, they’ve agreed never to speak of it again, lest doing so encourage agent Haywood’s inexplicable vendetta against cows.)


	5. Werewolf puns (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/166579856826/okay-but-like-werewolf-vagabond-in-his-law)

Okay, but, like. Werewolf Vagabond in his Law Abiding Civilian persona being pulled over by the police for speeding, one of the crew in the passenger seat with him.

The cop walks over to his car and taps his pen on the cover his his ticket book, all movie cop stereotype with the sunglasses and all.

“Sir, are you aware - “

"Yes,” Ryan breaks in, staring the poor cop dead in the eye before rolling his window up and speeding off while his passenger proceeds to lose their shit. 

(Ryan with the tiniest smirk as they end up leading the cops on an high-speed chase through Los Santos until they shake them somewhere out in Blaine county and have to explain to Geoff why they were on the evening news when they said they were just going out for freaking kolaches, wtf you jackasses.)


	6. Jeremy's initiation into the FAHC (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Original post.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/166786976241/jeremys-initiation-into-the-fake-ah-crew)

Jeremy’s initiation into the Fake AH Crew:

Successfully mug Gavin.

There are rules, of course.

1\. Jeremy can’t kill Gavin.

“What? Why would I - “

“You’re new. Trust us, that won’t last.”

2\. Jeremy can’t shoot, stab, or otherwise injure Gavin.

“...I’m starting to feel a little concerned here.”

3\. If he doesn’t mug Gavin by midnight, he fails.

“Does he turn back into a pumpkin?”

 

From the stories he's heard as part of B Team this should be easy. There's a running joke that Gavin gets mugged all the time. The main crew will shell out a few bucks and send some poor schmuck to mug him. Listen to him shriek about it over the comms or on a phone call, and try not to lose their shit when he realizes who sent the damn mugger in the first place.

This should be easy enough, but no.

No.

Jeremy's life for the rest of the day is like a Roadrunner cartoon.

He cannot mug Gavin for the life of him and it’s infuriating because Gavin manages to evade him time and again without ever seeming to realize someone’s trying to mug him.

HOW.

A little before midnight Jeremy finds himself flat on his back in the middle of the desert rethinking the life choices that have brought him to this particular moment in time.

The flaming wreckage of his car - _his car_ \- is off to the side, coyotes howling in the distance and Jeremy has no idea how he got here. (Somewhere between his meeting with Geoff at the penthouse and now there was a gang attack at some point. A terrifying high-speed chase with the cops with at least one helicopter involved. The water in his boots remind him there were boats too, the details are unimportant.

After a while, he realizes he can ear an engine approaching and looks up to Gavin driving up on his Faggio.

Jeremy groans and drops his head back down as Gavin parks that dumb bike of his. Hears him walking over and tries to see how many constellations he can name, so of course that's when Gavin leans over him, amused as all hell because of course he knew what was going on the whole time.

Jeremy groans and closes his eyes, hands folded on his chest because he is _done_.

“After all that, you’re going to give up so easily?” Gavin asks, and he sounds like he’s laughing.

Jeremy’s eyes pop open, angry, annoyed, and oh, boy, did he realize the reason for the rules about this bullshit game the Fakes play because there were moments he was _tempted_ over the course of the day. Had his gun on him the whole time and everything.

It takes a moment, but Jeremy suddenly realizes Gavin's dangling is wallet over his head. Holing on to it with his forefinger and thumb.

Jeremy’s eyes narrow.

Gavin smirks, waggling his wallet as his eyebrows go up, and Jeremy -

He slowly rises his hand, fully expecting Gavin to snatch his wallet back out of reach the moment Jeremy gets close – some Charlie Brown and the football jackassery – but he doesn't. Just watches Jeremy with that dumb smirk on his face as Jeremy's fingers close on it. Tugs it out of Gavin's hold with suspicious ease.

“Not quite midnight, yet,” Gavin says, glancing at the that ridiculously expensive watch of his and back down at Jeremy, smirk shifting more towards a smile.

A few moments go past,the wheels in Jeremy's head slowly turning, and then it clicks.

He mugged - for a given definition of – Gavin before midnight. 

_He did it._

Jeremy starts laughing, normal amused kind of thing that slowly turns a little hysterical because what the actual fuck???

As he's rolling around on the ground cackling to himself because his day has been a complete nightmare, the rest of the fakes pop up and watch him. Look a Gavin who shrugs, like he has no idea why the hell Jeremy's acting like a loon.

The Fakes have had some trouble spot flare up here and there the past little while. Gangs working for them getting a little too greedy, pushy, that kind of thing. And they figured it would be a good idea for this Dooley kid to get a taste of what things were like for the main crew in these kind of situations. 

Had someone else from the crew watching the entire time, ready to step in if things started to look a little dicey. If Jeremy in over his head, but he didn't. 

Might have gotten a little bit...creative with his approach to problem solving, but he handled himself just fine. Impressed the others a time or two, enough for Geoff to call Gavin up and tell him they'd put the poor kid through enough for one day, let him mug him already.

Jeremy stares at Gavin and the others while they explain, ask him if he still wants to be part of the main crew after all this, and he sighs.

“You're all assholes,” he says, forearm over his eyes, laughing again, but it's the incredulous, happy kind this time. “But fucking fine, I accept.”

Everything goes pretty smoothly for a while after that, Jeremy settling into the main crew like it's where he was meant to be, but a few months down the road he starts experimenting with fashion. Pushing the boundaries. 

Starts out small with little flashes and pops of color here and there, waits until the others are used to catching little glimpses of purple or orange from the corner of their eye while they're on a job or pulling a heist. Start to associate the colors with him, and then come the cowboy hats and so on and so on, Jeremy explaining he's trying to make a name for himself with the crew.

The others all have these reputations, you know? Jeremy would absolutely hate to let them down, so he's trying, here.

And then word starts getting back to the others about the Fake AH Crew member who wears purple and orange and enjoys cowboy hats.

This "Rimmy Tim" fellow and the horror that follows when they realize what Jeremy's been doing all this time when he strolls into the penthouse in full Rimmy Tim gear, shit-eating grin on his face because yes, this is indeed payback for the hell they put him through during his initiation.

This horrendous character he's created who must be colorblind or simply have no taste whatsoever to think his ensemble is in any way fashionable.

Jeremy tipping his cowboy hat at them and moseys off somewhere, whistling as he goes, oozing smugness and a definite air of satisfaction while the others watch in awe.


	7. Ryan's Duke O'Death (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167132645146/i-forget-which-video-it-was-in-but-ryan-driving)

I forget which video it was in, but Ryan driving the [Duke O’Death](http://gta.wikia.com/wiki/Duke_O%27Death) almost killed me.

Dude just driving around Los Santos in his Mad Max car like it’s nothing, you know? The Vagabond with his freaking skull mask and face paint and leather jackets rolling up to a donut place or something in this damn car.

Everyone in the crew being like, “Could you be more of a melodramatic ass?” and “Should we put a tiny chrome skull on it as a hood ornament?” and “My God man, look at yourself.”

(But no, really. That car is fucking amazing and Ryan takes all the ribbing from his crew in stride, just waiting for the day one of them gets grabbed by some baddies and he gets to chase them down in his emo-car Mad Max style and absolutely wrecks shop against the cars trying to take him out on the way. No one makes fun of it ever again, although the tiny chrome hood ornament does happen at some point. Ryan leaves it because it really is a nice touch, you know?)


	8. Indiana Jones-ish AU, version 1 (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Original post.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167172794246/i-was-playing-uncharted-earlier-and-that-reminds)

I was playing Uncharted earlier and that reminds me of that Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider/Uncharted/??? AU where Ryan is some disillusioned treasure academic/treasure hunter/adventurer/roguish dork who gets hired to lead a team of idiots to some ~ancient treasure.

Seriously.

Ryan spends his days teaching Archaeology courses at a community college and he kind of likes it? There's faint amusement at the kids who are there because they need the credits to get their degree and it shows, and the ones who fell in love with Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones as a kid or Lara Croft and Nathan Drake, and those ones are always entertaining when they realize how fucking tedious archaeology actually is.

Then there are the ones there who love learning about ancient cultures and civilization and that tends to hurt a bit, the passionate ones who have drive and ambition and want to discover more about the past and humanities part in it because he used to have that, and now he's here handing out syllabuses and grading quizzes and coming up with ways to torture his students to keep from dying of boredom.

And then one day he's going over class plans or grading essays, something that's got him feeling a bit restless and itching to call it a day and the hell out of his tiny little office, get some _air_ , and there's a knock at his door.

Not the tentative, uncertain things he gets from too many of his students or the curt, impatient things from the kids who think his class is a joke, no.

Just a sharp one-two-three rap and a, “Hey, anyone in there?”

Ryan blinks because there's a bit of Jersey in that voice, loud, just shy of brash, and they're a long way from Jersey out here.

So Ryan gets up and opens his door to find some kid in his mid to late twenties looking up at him, eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he looks Ryan over.

Nothing too impressive there, Ryan knows. Some guy who's dreams were too big for him that ended up here teaching students who might change the world one day if they manage to push past the bullshit the world's going to throw at them.

He's out of shape and his hair's starting to thin and overall he looks like any other guy his age running around this town. Tired and old and his biggest dream this day is making it to the end of the week without the department head coming down to his office to flirt shamelessly.

" _Christ_ ,” Ryan says, when he goes back over that line of thought in his head, because he's turned into a sad sack of shit somewhere along the way and didn't notice.

“Uh,” the guy says, looking concerned. “Dude, are you okay?”

Ryan brushes it off, says he was just thinking about something and lets the kid into his office. Has to snatch up a stack of unread academic journals and drop them in a corner behind his desk to do so, but the kid doesn't comment even though it looks like it's killing him not to.

“End of semester mess,” Ryan says by way of explanation because the disaster area his office has turned into is pretty painful to look at for him too. “It usually isn't this bad.”

The kid _mm-hmm_ ’s, the sound seeming to be even more judgmental than any words could hope to be.

“So, uh. What brings you to my humble little office?” Ryan asks, trying to look less like a human disaster and well aware he's falling short.

The kid glances around Ryan's office, eyes lingering over a few of the framed photographs. Old maps and newspaper clippings neatly framed to preserve them, before looking back to Ryan.

Cocks his head like he's trying to resolve the younger Ryan in the pictures – full life and eager to see what's out there – with the sad sack of shit sitting in front of him.

“One of my partners was supposed to meet me here,” the kid says, annoyance slipping into his voice. “He's the idea guy, I'm just there to keep him on the rails.”

That's...interesting, but Ryan has classes to plan/essays to grade, and he's about to suggest this kid come back some other day when they hear running footsteps in the hall outside, and what can only be a body skidding to a halt outside Ryan's office by hitting the wall beside the door.

Ryan looks at the kid who has this look on his face, long-suffering and also somehow fond as he goes to the door and pulls it open to reveal another kid around his age sprawled in a heap.

“You're late,” the kid says, reaching down to help his partner to his feet with the ease of long practice, and almost absently brushes off his shoulders before giving him a push into Ryan's office.

After Gavin gets his breath back, he explains that he and Michael work for a production company that distributes its videos on the internet and there's certain kind of pause after that. Michael watching Ryan while Gavin raises and eyebrow like there's an expected response to that kind of news.

And Ryan. He works with college kids day in and day out, watches them graduate and go off to start their lives. Gets e-mails from former students and other people out there with fledgling production companies of their own. He knows the internet isn't what it was five, ten years ago, so -

“Interesting, but I don't see what that has to do with me?” Ryan says, because he doesn't.

So Gavin explains they do a little show about treasure hunting – Gavin laughs when he says it because it sounds so stupid, doesn't it, in this day and age – but there it is.

He's come into possession of documents that seem to point to some treasure in an area of study Ryan is a bit of an expert in.

“One of our contacts said you would be the man to go to for this,” Gavin says with a small shrug.

Gavin and Michael show him an old journal from someone who went on a expedition or whatever a long time ago wherein they were searching for some ~ancient treasure and everyone was presumed dead. (Yet one more reason I can never write this as an actual fic because details??? What are those???)

He's not on board, but then Gavin offers him a pretty little sum of money he'll be paid as their guide – they haggle a bit because Ryan's been in this position before you know. People seeking him out to lead expeditions and cheating him out of money/sometimes try to kill him/the usual.

“Half now, half when we find your treasure.”

He doesn't expect them to find anything but disappointment, but even half of what they're offering would make for a nice payday, so that's a thing.

Gavin agrees, and they plan to set off in a week, after the current semester ends and the holiday begins.

Ryan thinks they're headed on a wild goose chase, and says it again and again but Gavin doesn't seem deterred, so, whatever.

A week later and Ryan shows up at the airport to find Gavin and Michael and their third partner who seems to be carrying the majority of their gear. Short little guy with brightly colored hair and a cheerful _hey, pal. why don’t you go fuck yourself?_ smile for Gavin and Michael as they keep piling bags on him.

The four of them set off on their ~adventure and things go about as expected for a bit. Ryan vaguely amused by his traveling companions' antics, watching them when they set up to shoot various segments along the way.

Surprisingly Gavin's the one behind the camera along with Jeremy while Michael prattles on about what they're doing and where they're going. He gets some of his facts wrong, but thankfully Gavin steps in to correct him. Cheerful disembodied voice mocking Michael from behind the camera, squawking and squealing when he goes too far and Michael tosses his microphone to Jeremy before running full pelt after Gavin.

“You get used to it,” Jeremy says, packing up their gear calmly like this is something that happens frequently. “Trust me.”

Let's say they're in search of the Fountain of Youth because then Jeremy gets to break out his atrocious Louisiana accent and talk about them 'gators while they're cruising along in a boat one day.

Ryan looks over as hes telling the others about people getting death rolled by a gator and butts in with his own stories to Jeremy's delight and Gavin and Michael's dismay.

“Dude, really? Don't encourage him.”

“Ryan, _no_.”

Ryan starts to ~remember that the expeditions and ~adventures he used to go on weren't always all about the end destination. That the journey made it worthwhile thanks to the people he shared it with and other cheesy, super cliché ~feelings shit.

He also starts to realize that he like-likes Gavin, and it seems mutual. Endless shenanigans they're terrible at flirting with each other but because it's them, it _works_ , while Michael and Jeremy mock them mercilessly in the background.

Eventually they realize there may be something to the old journals and maps Gavin has, and everyone gets excited that this isn't just some dumb stunt. Isn't going to be like the videos where they went in search of Bigfoot and found some locals parading a bear in a shitty costume around at night to pull in tourists and cryptid hunters.

“...What?”

“We're living the Scooby Doo life, man,” Michael says, fighting with an editing program. “You wouldn't believe the shit we've seen.”

Ryan makes a mental note to do that, but before he can they run into the baddies. Some rich assholes looking to secure the Fountain of Youth for their own selfish reasons, blah, blah, blah, and the group gets separated.

Some kind of fight, and explosion or two and then it's Ryan and Gavin trying to find the others and Gavin getting more and more frantic and annoyed as they run into obstacle after obstacle and setback after setback. Ryan watching and trying to keep him from getting his hopes up too high – they're being hunted because the baddies want the journal/map and they're outnumbered and -

“I get it!” Gavin yells, voice strained as he glares at Ryan. He looks desperate, the kind of man who'd do anything to make things right and that scares the shit out of Ryan. “For God's sake, I get it, Ryan! Do you really think I don't after what happened?”

The worst thing is, he really doesn't think Gavin _does_. This was just a fun little jaunt for him, bring his friends along on a treasure hunt like there aren't fuckers out there who'd kill for a scrap of the journal Gavin brought to him. For a _glimpse_ at the map drawn on one of its pages.

“Gavin - “

He should have said no, all those weeks ago in his office. Should have said no and sent these idiots on their way, let them hire someone who wouldn't have gotten them this far. Wouldn't have gotten them into this situation -

“We'll find them,” Gavin says, sheer determination in his voice as he reaches out to pull Ryan into a hug, arms tight around him like he knows why Ryan's been saying the things he has. “We'll find them and figure things out from there.”

(Ryan doesn't believe him, but for a moment he wants to.)

And then they do find Michael and Jeremy, only the baddies are taking them wherever the Fountain is supposed to be -

“Michael had the map the whole time?”

Gavin huffs, gesturing down at himself. “Would you trust me with something that important?”

And, yes. Okay, that's a point right there.

“But,” Gavin says, pulling out that damn phone of his, bane of Ryan's life fro the beginning of this trip because he takes pictures of and records videos of everything. “I may have the next best thing right here.”

Ryan leans over to see Gavin tap on a video of Gavin bickering with Michael, the map sitting pretty on a table between them.

When he looks up, Gavin's got a bit of a smirk on his face as he pockets his phone. “Good thing I was recording, yeah?”

Ryan rolls his eyes and leads the way to the closest road. Tells Gavin he knows some guys around here, a couple of retired treasure hunters who might be able to help.

“Look at all those chickens,”Gavin says, and makes a face, fingers curling into a fist when Ryan glances at him.

“Bit of an inside joke of Jeremy's,” Gavin says, and follows Ryan through the gate leading to the backyard of this odd little house in the middle of nowhere.

Countless chickens running around shitting everywhere and making a ruckus, and then Geoff and Jack come out to see what's causing the commotion and it's. Well, it's not a heartwarming reunion, but they don't shoot Ryan or Gavin, and that's a good start, right?

They go into the house and tell Geoff and Jack what's going on, Geoff and Jack sharing knowing looks as they get to the part where everything went to shit.

“What is it, with you, Ryan?” Geoff asks, watching Gavin helping Jack to feed the multitude of chickens. “You make a habit of getting into these kind of messes?”

Ryan doesn't have an answer for him, not that Geoff was expecting one, and Geoff sighs, tired old man that he is.

“You break that kid's heart, Haywood, we're going to have problems.”

Ryan doesn't protest that, figures he'd deserve whatever Geoff came up with if he does, and that more than anything else has Geoff keeping his peace when Gavin runs back to the house being chased by this giant bastard of a chicken who doesn't like anyone.

Ryan lets it slip to Gavin that he Geoff and Jack were kind of mentors to him, that he went on his first expedition/adventure with them and it was good for a while, but this kind of life is for the young, isn't it. (Or so Geoff and Jack said, and they retired to this farm where Geoff raises chickens and Jack has his garden and he kind of envies them for it because they're _happy_.)

A few days later Ryan and Gavin set off to where the baddies have taken Michael and Jeremy, Geoff and Jack promising to bring reinforcements and then they get to where the Fountain's supposed to be.

End up fighting a lot of baddies, Gavin saving Ryan's life, giving him a smirk as he switches the gun to his other hand to help Ryan up.

“I had a good teacher,” he says, and Ryan's eyes narrow even as he feels himself blush.

(There was totally a moment before everything turned to bad where Ryan was trying to teach Gavin how to shoot, showing him the proper stance, how to hold the gun and so on in proper romance movie style because they were headed into ~danger, he needed to know how to defend himself, you know? Only thing is, Gavin already knew how to shoot, but who was he to turn down free lessons from Ryan?)

“You're a goddamn con artist, is what you are.”

Gavin grins, but doesn't deny it, and Ryan has this very clear moment of _well, shit_ because he's well and truly gone for this little bastard, isn't he?

And then more fighting, some explosions and fires, because of course there are -

They rescue Michael and Jeremy, or really run into Michael and Jeremy after they rescued themselves and almost get shot for their troubles.

Michael yells at Gavin for a minute straight – for being a goddamn moron to come back for them like this, what the fuck were you thinking and so on and so on while Gavin calls him an idiot, a stupid idiot, the biggest idiot to ever idiot – and then hugs the shit out of him. (Jeremy just stands there looking tired and a little bored and shakes his head at Ryan who looks like he's going to say something. “They do this a lot too,” he says, small smile on his face. “You get used to it.”)

Just when they think they're going to get away the head baddie gets hold of Gavin and Ryan fucking loses it because of course he knows the asshole. Same bastard who screwed him over a long time ago, left him for dead after getting their friends killed and is the reason Ryan settled into his life in a quiet little town teaching at a community college, quietly living his life, all these ghosts hanging over his head this whole time.

Typical gloating and taunting before he drags Gavin into the ruins – some underground tunes and the like and Ryan and others give chase because what else is there to do?

After a while they get to the spot of the final showdown, and there's the Fountain at the center of it in a bit of a pit.

The baddie lets Gavin go because he only has eyes for the stupid thing, and Gavin kicks off some kind of booby trap as the asshole's taking a sip from the Fountain.

Intentionally or not, and the whole place starts coming down, Gavin running back to Ryan and the others and the panicked escape while the baddie either cackles because he's going to be young forever and has finally snapped, or is trying to kill the hell out of them for destroying the Fountain, maybe a bit of both.

The desperate scramble out of the tunnels to find Geoff and Jack waiting for them, mercenaries either dead or fled, and they head back to civilization.

Ryan sneaks away when Gavin and the others are getting looked over at the hospital Goes back to his quiet little town and starts to pack up, doesn't really know where he's going to go now, but he knows he can't stay there.

Goes to his classroom that feels far too small – was it always like that? - and walks down the steps to that tiny little desk he'd sit at, the whiteboard he'd draw diagrams and cutaways on. Would use to bring dead civilizations to life again for a brief moment in time, his students awed and fascinated and -

“I went to university for a bit,” Gavin says, voice faint from the top of the steps.

He starts walking down towards Ryan, limping a little because he got banged up a bit in that final fight. There are fading bruises on his face, stitches hidden by his clothes, but he's smiling, small and fond as he looks at Ryan.

“In England, I mean. I went to university, and one day we had a guest speaker. American bloke, and there was a bit of a kerfuffle when he showed up.”

Gavin's smile widens as he tops a few steps above Ryan. “All those tattoos, you know. Nowhere near as many as he has now, but it was still a bit of a scandal at the time.”

Ryan's eyes narrow.

“You know how Geoff is, though, didn't bat an eye, and Jack was so very polite. Proper.”

“Gavin - “

“They had a grad student with them, quiet, until you got him started on some bit of interest to him and then you couldn't shut him up. Fiery, passionate.”

Gavin's eyebrows go up when Ryan looks away. “I doubt I made much of an impression on him back then, but he made the courses I was taking at the time a damn sight more interesting, that's for certain.”

And it turns out that Ryan doesn't really remember that part of the trip that much because Geoff pulled Jack and Ryan into a bit of an adventure that took a lot more precedence, and then things didn't really slow down after that.

But!

Gavin got interested in archaeology and the like, but university wasn't for him and somehow he ended up going to America and meeting Burnie and getting involved in his production company making videos about looking for Bigfoot and the like. Working with Geoff and Jack on a few, and not really hitting his stride until he met Michael and Ray – who quit after the incident with the Wendigo – and then they picked Jeremy up and the whole thing with Ryan, and so on and so on.

“My bosses liked the videos we came back with,” Gavin says, odd little twist to his mouth because Ryan knows for a fact Gavin and the others destroyed footage that might lead anyone to the Fountain's location. “They wanted to know if you'd do more with us in the future.”

Ryan tries to think up an excuse, because it's a bad idea, the two of them. He almost got Gavin killed, has a track record of doing that kind of thing, but Gavin rolls his eyes and kisses him and Ryan -

Well, he forgets all his half-assed excuses and explanations.

“You're a bit of an idiot, aren't you?” Gavin asks, like he isn't one himself.

And so Ryan ends up moving to wherever Gavin and the others call home. Gets himself a part-time job at the local community college where the lecture halls don't feel so small, even if his office is as tiny as ever.

He goes out with Gavin and the others sometimes to do videos – maybe it's a proper expedition for treasure or some such, maybe it's just to someplace like Stonehenge for a video special - where Ryan gets to demonstrate his terrible accents to Michael and Jeremy's delight and Gavin's dismay.

And they lived happily ever after. (And often got sent pictures of Geoff's newest chicks, because of course they do.)


	9. Prompt fill: Desert Rose and Golden Dust (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for miss-ingo.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167318654471/miss-ingno-for-desert-rose-im-still-stuck-on)

For 'Desert Rose’ I’m still stuck on an Indiana Jones-ish AU, and it sounds a lot like archaeologist/adventurer Ryan. 

Someone hires Ryan to help them find this fabled gem going by that name and bring him a a page out of a centuries old journal from someone who claimed to have seen it while on a trading expedition. 

He runs into Gavin when they get to whatever country the gem is said to be. He’s this charmingly scruffy expatriate who may or may not be flirting outrageously with Ryan. (For some reason he always seems to disappear when Ryan’s employer is around.) 

There are shenanigans that involve people trying to kill Ryan and his employer and ~intrigue. 

Gavin offers to help Ryan (”Out of the goodness of my heart, you seem a bit lost.”) 

Ryan realizes Gavin’s smarter than he lets on, helping Ryan decipher clues leading to it. Offering up local stories about it being cursed and the gem’s bloody history full of betrayal and backstabbing and murder (so much murder) in Ryan’s motel room after a tiring day of escaping death by mere inches and cracking ancient riddles and the like, Gavin kicked back in a chair with a beer while Ryan goes over his notes and whatnot at the table, noises of the city filtering in through the half-open window.

Gavin saves Ryan’s life when his employer double-crosses him and it’s revealed Gavin’s a bit of an adventurer himself. 

Has been tracking that rat-bastard for at least a month after he stabbed Gavin and his partners in the back. Gavin telling Ryan that he still has Geoff and Jack, that Gavin’s been ducking Ryan’s employer AND Michael and Jeremy who think Gavin’s lost it.

Convinced that his mentors/family are still alive even though they can’t be. 

(They are, though. Gavin’s heard bits and pieces there, but he couldn’t get close enough on his own without spooking Ryan’s employer. No way was he going to put his lads at risk again, and Ryan’s little heart is like “Oh” thinking Gavin’s been using him this whole time. (Because yessss, I love that little trope.))

He promises to help Gavin, expecting that to be the last of him because he’ll have what he wants, so why would he want to stick around Ryan, right?

And then adventures in which they almost die a dozen times and manage to rescue Geoff and Jack and recover the Desert Rose - only for it to lost down some bottlomless ravine or some such when Gavin saves Ryan from the his employer.

Both of them going their own way for a bit until Gavin shows up at Ryan’s door hoping to hire him to take Gavin and his bizarre family on an adventure in search of some treasure or other. (After a while and several countries later, Ryan finding that he likes Gavin’s weird little family more than he thought he would, he finally twigs to the fact that Gavin is indeed flirting outrageously with him. The others are like. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” because for God’s sake, Ryan, Gavin has not been subtle in the least, you moron.)

====

‘Golden Rust’ puts me in mind of a FAHC AU where Gavin ~betrays the crew.

Or that’s what it looks like from the outsider POV.

It starts small, someone sidling up to him and offering him everything he could want - money, power, whatever - and the Golden Boy, he’s a fickle creature, isn’t he? 

A job goes wrong, they lose the new guy. Some weirdo in a cowboy hat and eye-searing colors. A week goes by and something goes wrong on a heist. Mogar’s explosives go off too early, and half a block of Los Santos goes with him.

The Fakes go quiet for a bit, regrouping, and then they’re back. Frantic, desperate, almost, because the cops and other bottom feeders in the city have been having a go at them. (No one notices they don’t gain any ground, that the Fakes fend them off just as easily as they ever did, they just try and try and try again, weakening themselves in the process.)

Through all this there’s reports of infighting in the main crew, or what’s left of it. Bugs and hidden cameras and operatives who’ve made it deep enough into the crew to see it for themselves. 

The Golden Boy who goads the remaining crew members into an impossible heist with his eye on whatever reward he’s to gain when the Fakes are no more.

Gets the Kingpin and his second killed when the cops, ones who’ve been bought out by Fakehaus (tired of bowing down to the Fakes time and time again) catch them in a blockade just when they think they’ve pulled the heist off. Trapped, outnumbered, no answer over the comms and they die when their car goes over a bridge into the river below miles outside of Los Santos.

The crew limps along after that for a week, two, more, and then!

The Vagabond, Ramsey’s loyal attack dog finds out what the Golden Boy’s been doing. All his careful machinations that killed the crew off one by one, and there’s a call, a meeting in a quiet location just outside the city. Old safe house for the crew from their early days.

The Vagabond drives out there to where the Golden Boy is waiting along with the vipers whispers promises in his ears, and it’s a bloodbath, isn’t it.

Over a dozen bodies and the Golden Boy and the Vagabond among them, and that’s it for the Fakes - or should be, but there’s a new leader. Woman with fiery red hair and the charming and charismatic man at her side, quicksilver smile and a clever tongue. 

Smile on his face as he slits your throat, and no one knows who the real danger is when they walk into a room. (Rumors say they’re the ones behind the deaths of the Fakes’ founding members, that it was an inside job and Fakehaus does get more territory and whatnot with the Fake AH Crew under new management, so maybe there’s some merit to those rumors after all.)

====

The truth of course, is the others were getting old. Slowing down and there’s only so long you can keep ahead of the bullets headed your way, dodge that knife. They wanted out, and in true Fake AH Crew fashion wanted a fitting end. 

(Jeremy just went along with it, telling them he wanted to wreck some shit when really, he would have missed his stupid crew. Also, Lindsay and Trevor task him with making sure the others keep a low(ish) profile, forgetting who they’re asking this of.They regret it almost immediately, but by then it’s too late.)

So when someone approaches Gavin, try to sway him to his side, he gets an idea. Brings it to Geoff and the others and they hatch a scheme - 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, really? Why don’t we just fucking rob a bank and get into a shootout with the cops?”

“Boring, Michael. So very, very boring.” 

So they create this plan, a way to take out some troublemakers and get that blaze of glory ending they’ve more than earned.

Lindsay and Trevor set them up in some ideal location, some beachside city/town where no one knows who the Fakes are, and end up with little beach houses next to one another - 

”Goddammit, I thought I’d seen the last of you.” 

“Michael, that’s mean, Michael.”

\- and live out the rest of their days (more or less) quietly.

(No one’s really surprised when Ryan and Gavin get a cozy little house together, given the way they both went out - “That was some betrayed lover bullshit and you know it, Gavin. Way to be subtle.”)

Geoff and the others mercilessly ridicule Gavin when it turns out the actor who played him in the movie about them titled _Golden Rust_ comes out had to wear a prosthesis because his actual nose wasn’t big enough.

The guy who plays Michael is using a New _York_ accent - “What the fuck?”

For some inexplicable reason Jack’s a gorgeous redhead - “Well, at least they got the shirt right? Also, nice rack, Jack.”

Geoff’s guy is some overacting schmuck with awful fake tattoos and a freaking _soul patch_. - “Oh my God. _Why _?”__

__Jeremy’s dude is - “Holy shit. Is that Peter Dinklage?”_ _

__Ryan’s actor is some guy with shitty face paint and a dumb mask who puts weird emphasis on certain words and clearly has no idea how to hold a gun, and dear God - “All right, chill out, Ryan.”_ _

__Really, it’s a turd of a movie but they have regular viewings of it every year on the anniversary of Ryan and Gavin’s “deaths”._ _

__(It never ceases to amuse them about the speculation that something happened between Gavin and Ryan to kick things off, that something happened to sour their bromance.)_ _

__They also make a point to watch whatever terrible made for tv movies get made, and there’s an actual party when they get a _documentary_. (Lindsay and Trevor and assorted others come to visit because it’s an occasion.)_ _

__(That tiny little beach town eventually becomes THE destination where Fakes and various allies head to after they retire, and the locals either never realize or figure it out and just don’t say anything because they’re just so _nice_.)_ _


	10. Prompt fill: The Good Life (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167370912981/what-about-the-good-life-for-the-titke-meme)

Spy AU where Gavin becomes friendly rivals with Ryan and the others when they end up running into one another on missions over and over again. 

(There were the usual misunderstandings here and there, accidentally shooting each other – non-lethally! - a time or two before everything was cleared up, the usual.)

Dan mocks Gavin endlessly when Gavin comes back from a mission and is like, “I ran into the Americans again.”

Lindsay and Trevor holding their heads in their hands when one of the others come back and area like, “So about that report. Might want to leave Gavin out of it again.”

Every so often they work together when there’s some ~dire crisis, and aside from a few shenanigans, everything go amazingly well. (Better success rate and all that, and it’s enough to get Lindsay and Trevor plotting, but how do you steal a British spy?)

And then shit goes wrong.

Gavin’s on a mission with Dan, and their intel is bad or they get double-crossed and they get separated. There’s Dan over the comms, gunfire and Dan telling Gavin to go on ahead, that he’s right behind him seconds before there’s an explosion and the comms cut out.

Gavin has no idea what to do because _Dan_ , so he moves on autopilot. Goes back to the safe house they were supposed to meet their handler at and someone tries to kill him, so e runs.

He runs and runs and runs, and everywhere that should be safe isn’t. After several close calls his brain finally kicks back into gear (little voice in his head sounding suspiciously like Dan) and he realizes his someone in his agency (he tries not to think that it might be the agency itself, but doesn’t dismiss the idea out of hand) is trying to kill him.

He’s in some scuzzy motel somewhere and someone comes after him, so he runs again –

\- and there’s Ryan.

There’s a horrible moment where Ryan’s pointing his gun at Gavin (and vice versa) that Gavin thinks Ryan and the others are art of this. They’re with whoever got Dan killed (some part of Gavin insisting he’s the one who did it, really, because he’s thee reason Dan was still with the agency, still in the game) and this is where they deal with Gavin -

“Gavin?”

But it’s not, it’s not because Ryan sounds genuinely surprised to see him. (And why not, they’re in the states, and Gavin must look like an utter madman. Strung out from lack of sleep and he hasn’t eaten in who knows how long, has been on the run for the better part of a week and he’s just about at his limits, but he can’t be because _Dan_.)

They’re not really friends, the two of them. Gavin gets along well with Geoff and Michael. Has an interesting relationship with Jack, and he doesn’t really know Jeremy all that well yet because he’s new, but Ryan?

Gavin didn’t quite avoid him before this, but he was definitely more. Distant, something along those line, but Ryan’s not a monster.

Gets all intent on getting Gavin back to the others in one piece so they can figure out what the hell is going on.

Awkwardness as the two of them avoid being horribly murdered by the people after Gavin. Road trip games, truth or dare. Other things like that. Telling edited versions of events on about past missions – leaving out sensitive information for national security reasons – and so on and so on.

Many, many close calls later they somehow manage it.

(There’s definitely one where they end up squished together in a tight space that may or may not be a tiny closet hiding from baddies. Another where they’re on a subway car or train where it stops suddenly and Gavin gets thrown into Ryan and that awkward awareness of their situation and both of them freaking out because hands! Where are their hands? Wouldn’t want to make this weird, you know???)

Gavin and Ryan smushed together at one end of Geoff’s couch wrapped up in blankets and slowly falling asleep while the others try to figure out what the hell is going on. (There was a dip into freezing water earlier and Geoff’s got the heat cranked up and they’re finally somewhere safe.)

A day or so later Gavin’s still at Geoff’s.

Ryan’s asleep thanks to some painkillers because he got shot or stabbed or both along the way and thy finally have the time/resources to deal with it. Matt’s set up in the kitchen doing hacking things to help, and Gavin -

He gets a phone call.

Gavin freezes when it rings because it’s a burner phone and the only person with the number is Ryan.

When he answers whoever is on the other end is using a voice modulator, and Gavin’s angry, frustrated, because of course they are.

And then he hears a very familiar voice.

Dan.

Angry. Tired. _Hurting_.

Yelling at whoever has him that he’s going to fucking well kill them when he gets loose, and Gavin doesn’t believe it at first, and then Dan starts yelling things not appropriate for all ages and he does.

Agrees to meet with the baddies for what it clearly an ambush disguised as an exchange – Dan for the files, and don’t tell anyone about this or the meeting or Dan dies. (Gavin has no idea what they’re talking about, starts to realize this whole damn mess is due to a damn misunderstanding. That the baddies think Gavin and Dan know something they don’t. Have been all too willing to kill for whatever secrets are in those files.)

He steals Matt’s car and heads off to the meet, armed with borrowed weapons – Americans and their guns – and leaves a note for Ryan and the others.

Tells the everything he knows, was able to glean from the phone conversation and leaves the burner phone behind. (Won’t need it for this, will he.)

When he gets to the agreed upon place – cliché abandoned warehouse in the middle of nowhere – he finds Dan tied to a chair in the middle of the warehouse, spotlight on him and pissed as hell.

Dan glares at where he thinks Gavin is and yells at him for coming here alone, telling him what an idiot he is for doing this, my God.

And then the baddie makes his entrance, does a little monologue about Gavin and Dan coming too close to figuring things out and needed to be stopped before they ruined everything. (At this point, neither of them know what the hell the baddie’s talking about but manage to get them to spill EVVERYTHING through the power of bickering with each other and being annoying and frustrating the baddie into divulging everything.)

And then the shooting starts, Gavin having gotten close enough to Dan to slip a knife or something sharp, and they make a run for it. End up being chased through the warehouse and surrounding area by the baddies, picking them off when they can.

Just when it looks like they’re going to get killed, Ryan and the others pull a big damn heroes moment and save the day.

Michael and Geoff stalk over to Gavin and start yelling at him while Dan stands by bemused and bleeding a little (flesh wound, because of course), and Ryan sidles up to him to take at look at his injuries.

“Not going to give him a piece of your mind too?” Dan asks, because he knows all about Gavin and Ryan and how sickeningly flirty they are.

Ryan shrugs, says Michael and Geoff have that part covered, that he’ll get to pull the quiet disappointment that Gavin clearly didn’t trust him enough to tell him about the phone call, and Dan is in awe of Ryan’s ~evil plan.

Lindsay and Trevor swoop in with other agents to clean everything up and bully everyone into getting looked over at the hospital.

A few days later when everyone’s got a clean bill of health and Ryan is still milking the “I thought you trusted me after everything we went through,” bit and Gavin is just, “For God’s sake, Ryan, we’ve been over this! I’ve apologized a dozen times already!” and Ryan is like, “:(((((((((((((((((((((((“ they go to American spy HQ where Lindsay and Trevor are waiting with some British spy people.

There it’s revealed that the head baddie was selling British secrets to their enemies, and thought Gavin and Dan found something they shouldn’t have. (They hadn’t, but another week or so and they would have, so really, it all works out in the end, right??? - Gavin and Dan and the others are not amused.)

More talking from the spy bosses, something about impressive cooperation between their two agencies, back-handed compliments for the Americans and really, Ryan and Gavin don’t need to be here for this bit, so they slip out of the room and find some quiet little spot.

One that just happens to overlook a lovely little courtyard and then there’s the “I’m glad you didn’t die” and “I, too, am glad for that” awkwardness and they’re slowly, painfully inching towards what may or may not be a kiss – awkward spies, who are usually so smooth on a mission, and yet when actual feelings are involved they’re worse than teenagers with their first crush – when a door down the hall slams open and the moment is ~ruined.

The British spy bosses expect Gavin and Dan are going to stick with their agency, but they are super, super wrong.

Lindsay and Trevor get Burnie to pull strings and suddenly they are the proud bosses of a new British spy in Gavin.

Dan retires because he’s had enough of the spy game, and besides, looks to him like Gavin’s in good hands with the Americans. (Especially Ryan’s, eh? *wink*)

The others sending Gavin and Ryan on missions together until they flipping do something about all the mutual pining – HOW. HOW ARE THEY THIS DUMB?

When they finally do they don’t tell anyone until Michael walks in on them making out in a storage closet at HQ and starts yelling at them because his virgin fucking eyes, you fucks.

After the others get find out when Gavin and Ryan stopped being stupid about their soft squish feelings for each other, they pull up the betting pool spreadsheets thy realize DAN won the whole thing.

Comes in smug as anything a few days later to collect his winnings and just shrugs when they ask how he knew because Gavin is kind of an idiot and he figured Ryan must be too, if Gavin liked him so much, which.

True.

(And THEN happily ever after.)


	11. Prompt fill: No Love in Desperation (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for miss-ingno.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167386907221/no-love-in-desperation-fic-title-meme)

Oooh, okay, so that FAHC origin story where Ryan’s just starting to make a name for himself. Has really just arrived in Los Santos and is still figuring out how the city works when something goes wrong – and he gets nabbed by the FIB or some other government agency.

He figures it’s going to be jail, maybe the death sentence if they manage to track him back to some of the things he’s done, but no.

No.

Because these guys – they were wearing tac vests with FIB on them, had vehicles with the FIB seal on them and all that when they got him, so he’d assumed that’s who they were, but clearly he was wrong.

“Oh, yeah, you’re a real fucking genius aren’t you, buddy?”

It’s the kid again, mess of curls and a mean curl to his lip when Ryan looks over at him. Jersey in his voice and he’s standing like he’s expecting a fight. (Given this place, Ryan’s not surprised.)

Bunch of assholes crammed into some weird little prison, guards with batons and tasers and a mean look in their eyes.

And, see.

Ryan didn’t go easy, took out a few of these guys before they finally took him down.

They’ve patched him up, but he lost a lot of time in between that dirty little motel room and now. Woke up in a tiny little cell and he’s never been in prison, but this place -

It feels wrong.

A week, two, passes and there’s some kind of commotion. Ryan’s basking in the sun on the bench he’s claimed in the exercise yard as his.

Good line of sight on most of the yard, and other things like that, but mostly it’s in a good place to soak up the sunlight. Just plan himself there when they get herded outside for walkies and feel he sun on his skin, warm himself up because it’s always cold inside.

Michael, that mouthy kid from Jersey nudges Ryan’s leg and when he opens his eyes, Michael gestures to where the hubbub is.

New guy, from the looks of it.

Ryan huffs, about to close his eyes again when he hears Michael say – very clearly -

“ _Fuck_.”

And, fine. Michael swears all the damn time, could, if he wanted, come up with a sentence comprised of only the word ‘fuck’, but there’s something different to it this time. (Not quite fear, really. Michael doesn’t do fear, or at least not the kind that lets anyone think there’s a crack in his armor. That there’s a weak spot to be exploited.)  
So Ryan takes a second look, and the people gathering around the new guy move aside enough for Ryan to get a good look at him.

Tall, on the lean side. Scruffy as fuck, and covered in ink.

“How the fuck did they get a _Rooster_?”

Ryan looks at Michael, and the kid looks. It’s not really starstruck (Ryan gets the feeling Michael doesn’t do that either), but there’s definitely respect, and for obvious reasons.

The Roosters are supposed to be untouchable, nothing sticks to them and so on and so on and so on, but if the assholes who grabbed them managed to snag a Rooster? Clearly that’s not the case.

Another week, and Ramsey is sprawled out on Ryan’s bench. All lazy contentment and something smug when he smiles up at Ryan, Michael tense and so very still at Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan can feel eyes on them, knows the three of them are the center of attention, everyone waiting to see what’s going to happen -

And Ryan, he huffs. Kicks at Ramsey’s foot and the smug bastard chuckles, moving aside to let Ryan sit down next to him, and that’s it.

Because Ramsey? Pretty much an asshole cat, and Ryan’s not interested in getting into a fight with the guy. (There were a few idiots who were, though, early on. One’s still in the infirmary, the other was sent t the county morgue.)

Michael mutters something under his breath and leans against the wall behind them, and that’s the end of that.

Another week goes by, and things change.

Ryan gets hauled out of his cell in the middle of the night and shuffled to a wing of the prison he’s never seen before. Gets thrown into a conference room and there’s Michael and Ramsey and a couple of faces he doesn’t recognize.

Some asshole at the front of the table with manila folders and a weedy looking kid beside him hugging a laptop to his chest. Twitchy and nervous, eyes darting all over the place. Lingering on Ramsey for a brief moment before landing on something else, and Ryan’s getting a bad feeling.

And then that asshole starts talking and Ryan finds out the people who got him?

Not the FIB.

They’re a new branch of some other government agency, very hush hush secret. No one knows about them, and the more that asshole goes on about that, the worse Ryan’s bad feeling gets.

The asshole and his people have been watching the inmates here, on the look for potential candidates, and the people handcuffed to the conference room table are their’ best options.

Ryan, Michael, Ramsey and two others.

Some baby-faced guy with glasses and a disinterested look on his face and a kid watching everyone in the room.

The asshole keeps talking, tells them they have a choice here.

Say yes to working with him and his people, “do some good” and they go free at the end of it. Say no, and they get buried so deep in the government penal system no one can find them.

And Ryan.

He’s been patient, all this time. Waiting and waiting and waiting for a chance to get the hell out of this place. Might have started giving some thought to getting Michael out too, if he could because he’s not bad.

Ramsey -

Well, he’s been assuming the Roosters will come for him sooner or later, but the way this guy’s talking, who knows?

So Ryan says yeah, sure, he’ll do it. Figures he’ll get a chance somewhere if he plays along. Michael says yes. The baby-faced guy and the kid says yes, and everyone looks to Ramsey.

After a long, long moment, Ramsey smirks at the guy and says hes in. (Nothing better to do at the moment, anyway.)

And these idiots are suddenly a team with the asshole as their handler and that weedy kid with the laptop hanging around.

They get moved to rooms (cells without bars, but the guards carry guns and move with the kind of quiet confidence the regular guard didn’t) in this section of the “prison” and get to trade out their prison jumpsuits for a classy sweatshirt/cargo pants combo that may or may not be better, who can say.

Ryan and the others get trained up a bit. Go through an accelerated training course for government agents. (Cue montage covering such scenes as Ryan and the others in shooting ranges and learning basic hand-to-hand and so on and so on because _that’s_ what you want to do with people who’ve already proven to be dangerous enough without training, but sure. Teach them how to be even more deadly, why not.)

And because their handler’s an asshole, he forces the poor kid to go through training with them. Awkward and quiet and out of his element, and Ramsey takes a shine to him surprisingly quickly.

Michael’s annoyed by him, thinks he’s dumb, but he looks out for the kid when they’re around other people, agents who look down on all of them and are bullies at heart, and they think he’s an easy target.

Jack and Jeremy seem to like him well enough, and Ryan -

“No.”

The kid’s persistent though, keeps poking at him with his inane little questions and hypothetical scenarios.

He helps the kid up when he eats shit on the obstacle course one day, rain coming down hard, ropes slippery and footing unsure, and kid flashes him a grateful smile and a quiet thanks as he lines up for another go at the damn thing, and Ryan -

He stops thinking of him as “the kid” and starts calling him Gavin. (It’s a bit of a slippery slope after that, because Gavin’s oddly likable and a bit of a disaster when it comes to this training, and Ryan starts to get fond of thee little idiot.)

A month goes by and Ryan likes these idiots who are his team, for what it’s worth.

When the asshole’s convinced they’re ready, he starts sending them out on “missions”.

Simple things at first, stealing shit or killing people. (Mostly both, though.)

It’s obvious from the start what’s going on is illegal as hell, but it’s that or be disappeared and for whatever reason they all seem to think this is the better choice even though it gets them shot and stabbed and bet all to hell on a regular basis.

(Ramsey’s the one who looks them dead in the eye, some little spot in the compound where the cameras don’t quite reach, dead zone, and says, “We play this right, we get out of here. We get stupid about things, we get dead.” and they listen, God help them, they listen.)

Ramsey’s the leader, Jack’s his second in command and can drive or fly just about anything. Michael’s got a way with explosives. Jeremy’s their best when it comes to close combat techniques and Gavin, turns out he’s a pretty decent hacker.

Ryan stops looking for a way out on his own because someone has to keep these idiots from getting themselves killed, you know? (Especially Gavin, who doesn’t go into the field with them too often, but when he does Ryan’s the one watching his back, and there are close calls where what that fondness Ryan feels for Gavin starts o get out of control, and it’s all kind of the worst.)

Jack’s doing a decent job of it, but they’re all so _dumb_.

Things are…not good, exactly but they’re not completely terrible for a bit – and then shit starts to go wrong.

Missions going pear-shaped as often as not, some little thing that has them scraping through by the skin of their teeth and tensions start to rise.

Their handler goes from asshole to raging douche, and they start to lose whatever “privileges” they’d earned to this point, small humiliating punishments to remind them they’re prisoners here, and this is the sentence they chose for themselves and it grates.

The missions get harder and the more demanding, and it takes a toll. Especially when things go wrong due to bad intel or faulty equipment. Tempers fray, and cracks start to form in their little team.

Ryan starts looking for a way out again, angry that he put that on the back burner for so long. All the missed opportunities when they were on these bullshit missions.

Gavin keeps getting pulled aside by the asshole after missions. Is exempt from whatever punishments Ryan and the others get. Starts acting squirrely, and it hits Ryan all over again that Gavin was never like them.

Might have gotten in over his head with his hacking to land himself in this situation, but he’s not a _criminal_ like the rest of them.

Jeremy ends up in the infirmary after a bad mission, and Ryan’s looking for him to because Gavin disappeared on them after they got back. Finds him in the common room they’re allowed to use, but the asshole’s with him, and Ryan listens in,.

Hears the asshole offering to make Gavin an agent if he plays things right, keeps up the good work.

The asshole leaves without noticing Ryan who found a ~convenient hiding spot and Ryan goes in to see Gavin.

Asks him what that was about, and of course Gavin clams up. Looks trapped, almost, and won’t meet Ryan’s eyes. Won’t say anything but, “I’m trying to help us,” and “You don’t understand,” and “Ryan, _please_ ,” and Ryan snaps.

He snaps because he shouldn’t still be here. Should have found a way out months ago, but no.

No.

He made the mistake of catching feelings for these assholes, for Gavin in particular and some stupid part of him thought things might work out somehow, even though he knows better.

Maybe it was the way Geoff’s never seemed concerned about their situation here, and maybe that’s because the man’s a goddamned Rooster. Once you’ve seen and done the things one of them has, there’s not much that’s going to worry you after that.

Maybe it was Jack, or Michael, or Jeremy and the way they looked out for one another. Risked their lives for each other on these bullshit missions time and again and never once thought about letting someone die to save themselves.

And then there’s Gavin, this little idiot who’s been working against them for God knows how long.

(Who’s told Ryan about how the stupid things he did to land himself here, who’s wormed himself into Ryan’s life, gotten all cozy there in ways the other haven’t.)

Ryan snaps, because he got _stupid_.

“I hope whatever he offered to you for fucking the rest of us over is worth it,” Ryan says, and does a dramatic exit for that added punch.

A few days later and the asshole calls them to the conference room, tells them this is it, the final mission. (They were told they’d have to do a set number of them – successfully – before they got their reward for all this, and they’re finally there.)

Gavin still won’t meet Ryan’s eyes and that bad feeling, well.

It lasts all the way until they get sent out, all the way up until shit goes wrong so damn fast.

The chopper that flew them in goes down to an RPG round, and the agents that went in with them – first time, and that’s not a good sign – start to turn on them.

Get Michael in the side before Geoff drops that asshole, and Michael takes out another one trying to get the drop on them, and it’s utter chaos.

Agents trying to kill them and the guys they were sent in to kill are trying to kill them and a minute into the whole mess ANOTHER bunch of people show up and start shooting.

Geoff starts cackling, the sound raising hairs on the back of Ryan’s neck because this isn’t his hyena laugh when one of thee others does something stupid, no.

This is mean, vicious, and Ryan has no idea what sparked it, until he sees these new people take the agents down with cold efficiency. Sees them go on to the guys the team were sent there for and then it’s Ryan facing some woman in tactical gear holding an assault rifle on him and no bullets in his gun.

There’s a knife at his hip, an another half dozen hidden on him, but -

“Lindsay! Don’t shoot him!”

But there’s Ramsey, walking over with easy confidence, Michael and the others with him and the woman cocks her head, but doesn’t lower her gun.

“Tell him to back off those damn knives of his and I’ll think about it,” she says, mulish, stubborn.

It kicks off what appears to be an old argument between Ramsey and her, and Ryan relaxes because apparently she’s one of his.

Eventually they stop arguing and Ramsey looks around where these newcomers are going over this bloody little battlefield, making sure the area’s cleared and he sighs.

Looks to Jack and Michael and says, “Gavin?”

And that’s where Ryan learns a group of agents bundled the little idiot out when things went to hell, got him out of there and presumably back to the compound, and Ryan -

Well.

That’s just fine, isn’t it.

He goes with Ramsey and the others because this is their out, and they head to Los Santos because Ramsey’s tired of the cold and he’s heard the weather there is amazing. (It’s the kind of city made for people like them, misfits and outcasts of society with chips on their shoulders and no love for the law.)

And this is another thing Ryan learns in bits and pieces as he settles down in this city, working for a former Rooster alongside these people he’s learning to trust all over again.

Learns that Jack, baby-faced Jack looks like an entirely different man when his beard grows back in. Still calm and placid as ever (unless someone pushes him too far, and then it’s a bloodbath waiting to happen) and he bears an uncanny resemblance to a wanted picture of a certain former member of the Roosters.

Learns the agents who grabbed Ryan and thee others somehow got Ramsey.

Geoff claims he allowed himself to be caught because the Roosters had heard about this little program the agents had been considering. That they’d managed to draw in some potential assets in Michael and Ryan, and when he got there decided he liked Jeremy a whole hell of a lot, and the kid’s resourceful.

Jack, the one one most likely to be telling the truth claims Geoff fucked up and got himself caught and Burnie, long-suffering Burnie, asked for volunteers to get him out and got over a dozen before he’d finished speaking.

In the end, he picked two.

Jack, and -

“Speaking of, when are we going to spring that little shit?” Geoff asks, having interrupted Jack’s account of events an even dozen times already with “corrections” and the like. “I miss his stupid face.”

And that’s where Ryan learns Gavin’s one of Geoff’s too. (Burnie’s really, but Geoff’s stolen him, corrupted him. Jack say that with a little smile on his face because apparently everyone involved knew Gavin was going to end up in Los Santos when everything was said and done.)

It’s like a punch to the gut, Ryan half-listening as Jack tells the others the plan the Roosters set in motion when Geoff got caught.

Send Jack in - “Gavin’s idea to shave the beard, said no one would recognize me,” he says, wry twist to his mouth because _it worked_ \- to scout things out and a little while later Gavin would catch the agents’ attention. Let himself get caught, bullied into joining the program and go along with whatever the head asshole demanded – appearing to turn on the team and so forth – and all the while getting information out to Burnie and the Roosters.

Plotting everyone’s escape at the right moment and so on and such and he’s _still there_.

Almost a month gone by and he’s still there.

“Burnie’s taking care of it,” Jack says, and that.

Geoff makes a face, complains that he wanted to deal with it himself, that he owed the assholes who put them through hell for an experiment. Seeing if it would be more efficient in the long run they used criminals to take out other criminals. Put the ones who didn’t matter at risk and keep their agents safer and so on. (Maybe pocket a bit of the contraband for themselves along the way, line their own pockets.)

A week goes by, and Burnie comes to town. Goes to the penthouse, Gavin in tow, and looks to Geoff. Says, like he’s glad to be rid of the nuisance that is Gavin, “He’s your problem now, Geoff.”

And Gavin.

He looks like hell, skinnier than the last time they saw each other,dark circles under his eyes and bruises and worse on his skin, and Ryan reins in his anger as he catalogs each hurt he can see. Reminds himself that if Gavin’s here now, it means Burnie and the Roosters made sure whoever dared touch the little shit is either dead or going to wish they were very soon.

There’s a bit of a reunion scene with Geoff and the others, some yelling at Gavin for being an idiot and so on and so forth, Ryan hanging back and just. Watching.

And then Gavin shuffles off to the room Geoff had set aside for him and sleeps like the dead for the next day and a half.

Stumbles out of his room in the middle of the night, Ryan watching some dumb infomercial and it’s like one of their nights back in that prison compound when one of them couldn’t sleep.

Gavin hesitates before he makes his way over to the couch, settles on the far end and turns his face towards the television. Starts talking, telling Ryan everything.

Geoff getting caught, Burnie and the others calling an emergency meeting to decide what was going to be done – because Geoff had gotten a message out to them.

Code, telling them that there were a few people he wanted to take with him, but that thing they were keeping an eye on. The rumors they’d heard that these agents were using criminals to do their dirty work for them and double-crossing them just as they were reaching the end of their usefulness so no one ever found out what was happening, that was definitely a thing and Geoff was caught up in it.

Ryan’s heard all of that, knows what happened,but something eases in him at the fact that Gavin’s telling him the truth.

Gavin keeps talking, and Ryan listens and Ryan thinks things might be okay for them after all. That Geoff’s dream of this crew of outcasts and misfits might make it to the top in this city after all.

Somewhere in there, Gavin ended up leaning against Ryan as he told his story, and Geoff finds the two of them asleep and drooling all over themselves and looking stupidly adorable for heartless criminals or whatever they’re supposed to be. (HE takes pictures too, so many damn pictures that he never stops blackmailing them with.)

The Fake AH Crew become a thing, and a certain shady government agency seethes over it because the Fakes have the Roosters backing them and that’s not a fight anyone’s prepared for. (Now or ever.)

The Fake Ah Crew might have come along on its own somehow, maybe not quite the same configuration, but it would have happened.

These idiots, though. Took a bunch of criminals and trained them. Taught them how to be more dangerous, and let Geoff take charge. Let him show them how to work together as a team and give a shit about the guy next to them, and that was the beginning of the end for them, wasn’t it.

And that’s the real kicker, for the agents and governments lackeys left to clean up after this shady government agency.

Knowing they have themselves to blame for this because they they made the crew what it is, and when Gavin leaks information about that program they were forced into to the public, so does everyone else, and it’s _glorious_.


	12. Prompt fill: The Payoff (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167428320471/the-payoff-for-the-fic-title-meme)

Sounds heist-y, and makes me think about an Leverage-ish AU.

Geoff ends up working for an insurance company because reasons, and becomes an insurance investigator who has ~wacky shenanigans throughout his career.

He’s not super loyal to the company he works for, but it’s a decent job and less boring (so much so) than he was expecting.

After a while he runs into this kid, stupid sticky fingers and no goddamn common sense to him and always, always, always stealing shit he shouldn’t.

“Really?”

“Took you this long to catch up to me, didn’t it?”

And the worst part of it all is that this kid, this stupid idiot kid is actually good. Gets away with some priceless bit or art or some shiny bit of jewelry more often than not. Gets better as he gets older, and snarky as hell.

Annoying little shit who gets into the habit of popping up when Geoff’s at some little cafe having a coffee and trying to read on his day off. Just drops down in the seat across from him, this honestly infuriating smile on his face and sips his coffee like they’re old friends hanging out.

It occurs to Geoff, every once in a while when Gavin pulls this shit to call the cops, someone, tell them an internationally wanted thief is having an espresso in front of him and maybe they could arrest him? Make Geoff’s life a little easier?

But for some unknown reason, he never does it.

Doesn’t do it even when his wallet goes missing and the little shit is nowhere to be seen.

When he goes home, annoyed as hell and finds it sitting on his kitchen counter with a little sticky note with a smiley face on it. When he’s injured from a case or random incident and the little asshole breaks into his place to leave whatever bit of art or jewelry or whatever he was after on his coffee table. (It kind of kills him a little when he knows for a fact Gavin wasn’t behind that particular theft, realizing that he went and stole it from the original thief, and then _feelings_.)

And then something happens, Geoff’s company fucks someone over and he’s seen it before, he has. There’s something about it this time, maybe a kid’s involved, maybe he’s just tired of seeing the shit they do, but he quits. (Or says he quits, but the company finds out he did the right thing, helped the little guy they were trying to screw over or the kid’s family and they ‘let him go’, but really. He fucking quits.)

Intends to get himself a normal job, do something with his life maybe, who knows.

But someone comes to him about a job, recovering something from a thief and the more he hears the more he realizes Gavin’s involved. (Of course he is.)

He’s out of a job and this guy is offering him a lot of money to track Gavin down, so Geoff decides why not, you know?

And he set off to find Gavin, and when he catches up to him realizes things are a little more complicated than he realized because people are trying to kill them both all of a sudden?

“It’s not 'all of a sudden’ you asshole!” Geoff yells, voice cracking as they duck another spray of bullets. “What the fuck did you steal?”

A briefcase, and when they crack it open they find USB drives or hard drives or something along those lines.

Gavin admits a hacker he works with sometimes contracted him for this job. Had a client who insisted he find the best thief he knew to pull it off.

Gavin tells him a little about the guy while they head to wherever he’s based. Some guy who likes big words and makes dumb jokes and from what Gavin’s saying, the biggest dork in the world.

Geoff’s expecting some cliché computer nerd, and he gets Ryan instead.

“What.”

“Nice to meet you too?”

They leave the hard drives with Ryan and do a little investigating, and end up running into Michael who beats the shit out of some guys who jump them.

“Hey, so. Someone hired me to fuck you up.”

“What?”

“But I figure,” Michael says, like he didn’t just save their asses. “After what happened in Florida, I owed you.”

Geoff looks down at the bruisers groaning into the dirty alley floor who would have absolutely murdered Gavin and him, and says, “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

And they go back to Ryan’s nerd lair with this guy with dried blood on his knuckles that Gavin will just not leave alone. (Geoff’s run into Michael a time or two before too. Smart kid with a mouth on him, and usually picky about who he works for.)

Something happens and Geoff takes them to Jack’s to hide out for a bit. Jack who is a civilian in all this, just some normal guy who works for, idk, the news station or something. 

Opens his door and there’s Geoff and these other idiots looking like they’ve been through the wringer and is just, “Again?” as he lets them inside.

Geoff explains what’s going on and Jack just _sighs_.

Ends up helping these idiots and of course he knows Gavin -

“What, I didn’t tell you?” Jack asks. “We have lunch when he’s in town.”

More shenanigans and then they find out the guy who hired Geoff wants the files because he was trying to double-cross his partner, but his partner double-crossed him first and it’s all super ridiculous and Geoff would just his money, and also not to be horribly murdered, so!

He comes up with a heist of some sort, they end up pulling Lindsay into things, and Michael’s like, “I know a guy,” when Geoff’s like, “Another Hitter would be nice - “

So they go to some underground fighting ring where this idiot in the most horrendous outfit imaginable is beating the hell out of someone twice his size.

“Is he colorblind?”

“No, just an asshole.”

And so Jeremy joins the team, and they do their heist-y-heist and Ryan gets them more money than they were expecting and it’s kind of awkward after that because they’re all in Geoff’s living room and literal millionaires many times over and still eating all his damn food.

They go their own ways for a bit there, but then Geoff gets an e-mail from an unknown sender (WHO COULD IT BE) about some company trying to screw the little guy over, and an address with a date and time a few days from then.

Geoff rolls his eyes, but he goes because what else does he have going on for himself at the moment?

When he gets there he sees this lady who looks downtrodden and yet still bravely soldiering on and is like. “Oh, for God’s sake, really?” as he goes over with his coffee and is starts a conversation with her.

Hears her out and realizes he can’t not help, looks over to where Gavin’s been sitting for the past few minutes delicately sipping at his own drink and says, “Fuck you,” because of course Gavin’s behind this.

Geoff just wants to be a hermit in peace, maybe have a coffee out at cafe once in a while and read his books, but no.

Because there’s a lady who needs help and he knows these other assholes won’t leave him alone until he agrees, and it’s all so very terrible, really it is.

(Lindsay and Trevor come along somewhere down the road, among others, and Geoff’s life is just the worst. It is.)


	13. Retail Hell (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/167919978201/imagine-if-you-will-the-crew-hiding-out-after-a)

Imagine if you will:

The crew hiding out after a heist while the cops buzz around Los Santos like angry bees. 

...Bees with guns and dogs and a hate-on for the Fakes after all these years, so they hide out at a little run-down house at the edge of the city.

Not quite cabin-esque, that little safe house, but they can hear owls in the woods not too far out and coyotes out having a grand old time. There’s no heat and winter - as much as a thing like that exists here is a thing. 

Geoff gets a fire going in the fireplace after a heated (get it, _heated_ ) debate as to how safe that would even be given the state of the place, but it’s cold and what could possibly go wrong? (Many things. So very many things, and yet - )

So there’s a fire going, Michael and Jeremy have managed to scavenge food and drink for everyone and even after this disaster of a safe house, they’re still riding high off the heist.

Stories are a thing that happen too, right next to the fire with them bundled up together. Tangled limbs and easy smiles as they talk about old jobs, a bit about their lives before the crew.

And Gavin - it’s always Gavin - turns to Ryan who’s been quiet all night. Nursing the diet soda they found in the fridge. (Past it’s expiration date, but it’s soda, and what could possibly happen?)

“What about you, Ryan?”

They’ve been talking about the jobs that went sour on them. Times they thought that was it for them, bullet to the head and dead and gone and no one to remember them. Times they almost got got by the mob because the crew they were running with were just that stupid. Things that got them into this life, and Ryan - 

He looks away from the fireplace, looks them all in the eye one by one and they brace themselves for it. The way he’s gone dead serious the way he so rarely gets these days. 

Ryan’s voice, when he speaks, is rough, gravelly, like some grizzled veteran in a smokey bar somewhere hoping to drink away the memories - 

“Retail,” he says, and knocks back the last of his drink before he gets up and heads outside to check the perimeter. “During the holiday season.”

There’s a certain kind of silence after he leaves, the kind where the others are trying to figure out how serious he is - if he was serious - and if that’s some kind of code they just don’t get - 

But no.

Because a year later, that night all but forgotten, Geoff has a plan.

Brilliant as all hell, and all it involves is a little undercover work and willingness to suffer for a bit in return for a good take.

Ryan intends to fuck off somewhere when he hears about it, tells Geoff he’s got business elsewhere but he knows a guy who can fill in for him - 

“Christ, fine, all right. You can stay in the van until shit hits the fan, you big baby. The rest of us will do the heavy lifting.”

And Ryan, he laughs. This dark rolling thing that gives the others actual goosebumps as he kicks back in his chair and lets Geoff explain the rest of the heist.

A week later - one, one - and the heist is a bust. 

High-end department store displaying a priceless one of a kind precious stone its owners were kind enough to loan them center stage for the holiday season.

All the crew has to do is get close enough to learn what security measures were in place. Routes of the guards and so on.

Gavin magics up some fake IDs for them to use as they infiltrate this high-end Department store as seasonal hires, never mind the fact they’re notorious criminals in the city.

A bit of facial hair - added or removed - and no one will be the wiser. (Jeremy goes a step beyond and shaves himself bald. No one is quite brave enough to ask how far he went with this new persona of his - although there are several whispered conversations because really, did he shave down there or not??? - because Jeremy.)

Later- the Fakes trailing failure and horrified amazement at the utter depravity of humankind during any kind of holiday sale where prices are lowlow _low_ \- there’s Ryan.

Ryan with the kind of wisdom that’s learned the hard way. Pain and suffering and endless hours spent dealing with people who believe they can do no wrong so long as they are a customer.

“Yeah, that,” Ryan says, “but imagine you’re making minimum wage.”

====

Three days later and all the employees at that high-end department store somehow come into money.

Lottery tickets for the ones who give in and think, _maybe this time?_ when they stop for gas at a convenience store or stop for groceries on the way home from work. 

Random sweepstakes they’d forgotten entering months and months ago and forgotten about because it takes so long from filling out that form and finding out if you’ve won some consolation prize or hit it big.

Some unexpected landfall that allows them to quit their retail job and do something else with their lives. (School for that dream job they could never afford before, some time the world and find their place in it outside of Los Santos. Something as small as paying off their bills and climbing out of debt and finding a way to stay out of it.)

It doesn’t end there, though, because as time goes by the little people of Los Santos find themselves experiencing a little bit of luck they can’t quite explain away.


	14. Meet cute with a ~twist (Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/168240091246/i-want-that-au-where-gavin-and-ryan-do-a-meet-cute)

I want that AU where Gavin and Ryan do a meet cute at some little coffee place.

The whole awkward shuffle of two people who can’t figure out if they should move right or left to let the other one by and end up bumping into one another anyway. Spill their drinks down their shirts and then there’s the embarrassed _I am a human disaster_ laugh as they apologize, and the dreaded _oh no, he’s hot_ moment as they offer each other handfuls of napkins pulled out of the dispenser. (Their hands absolutely do brush, and there is definitely ~lingering.)

They date, they move in together. Get a few cats and various other animals together. (Temporary or long-term, it doesn’t matter, there are an abundance of animals everywhere.)

Gavin pretends to be annoyed by it all - the little monsters are forever peeing on his things and chewing what they don’t pee on all to hell - 

And then Ryan will come home with a sheepish look on his face and a box of bedraggled kittens clearly too-young to be without their mother. (Ryan’s quiet little, “I found them by a busy road, and I couldn’t find the mother cat after looking for a few hours. I don’t think she meant to leave them.”)

He’s worried that this time is the last straw, but Gavin’s cooing over the poor things even as he shoves Ryan at the closet they keep the rescue animal things in. (Gavin’s the one who lets an exhausted, jet-lagged Ryan sleep when the kittens or whatever little monsters the idiot’s brought home that week scream for food in the middle of the night.)

It goes on like that for a year or so, this quiet bit of domesticity they have together. Soft and warm and happy even with the various animals screaming at them for attention or food or just for the hell of it.

There are typical arguments over toothpaste - “What kind of animal squeezes from the middle???” - and so on.

The thing is, though, they both think the other one is _normal_.

Gavin does something with cameras. Has an easy half dozen around the apartment they share, probably more, Ryan is never a hundred percent sure about that. Just knows whatever it is he does, Gavin loves it and sometimes will get jobs that take him out of the city for a bit.

Ryan does something with computers. Works from home a lot, but there are times he’ll get called away for something or other or there’ll be a seminar or _something_. 

(Although the reveal that Ryan used to be a model is one that resulted in a boudoir shoot at some point. One that ended in making out on a bad fake bearskin rug in front of their tv that was playing a loop of a roaring fireplace. Also, sexytimes.)

Neither of them look into things too much, just have a general idea of what the other one does and it’s good.

And then one of Ryan’s old buddies comes into town, and there’s this emotionally fraught reunion because they both thought the other one was dead. (Gavin is quietly wondering what kind of computer work Ryan even does to warrant this kind of thing. Or maybe it was some modeling-related incident years ago???)

Ryan’s buddy is short and has an amazing laugh and brightly colored hair and is a loveable kind of asshole. 

Gavin is fascinated, especially when Jeremy starts telling stories about shenanigans they used to get into. Ryan groaning and hiding his face in his hands, blushing like an absolute idiot and trying to shut Jeremy up to no avail.

They go out for drinks one night and Michael comes along, watches Ryan and Jeremy and gives Gavin a _look_ , because - 

Gavin shrugs, because it’s very clear there was something there - the seed of it at least - between Ryan and Jeremy, but then whatever happened to make them think the other one had died happened, and now, well.

Gavin trusts Ryan, is the thing, and he’s not about to tell Ryan he can’t have this. Can’t be friends with Jeremy who obviously means a lot to him, and anyway, leave it alone, yeah?

And things go great for a while.

Jeremy crashing in their spare room and helping with the animals - for a given definition of the word. 

Yes, he helps feed the babies and look after the ones that actually live there, but he’s also the reason they add more cats to the permanent pet count. 

But then Gavin comes home banged up and confused look on his face and, “My Faggio’s out of commission,” because there was a bit of an accident. A hit and run, and in Los Santos that doesn’t mean much because no one knows how to drive in the damn city.

He’s a bit down because the stupid, garish thing was a gift from Dan who claimed he didn’t want Gavin to forget his roots living in America. Paid extra for the custom paint job, but it was worth ever last cent just for Gavin’s reaction. (The fact Gavin drove the damn thing at all.)

There are other incidents over the next few weeks, enough to make Ryan concerned because no way it’s coincidence, right?

At first Jeremy’s understandably concerned as well, but then it turns to this odd sort of suspiciousness. Odd, probing questions about the accidents Gavin’s been involved in - that get strange looks from Ryan and have Gavin eyeing Jeremy with the same suspiciousness. (Ryan not knowing what’s going on but deeply concerned.)

Gavin and Ryan arguing because something is going on with Gavin and he’s not taking it seriously enough, and Gavin ends up leaving for a few nights. Tells Ryan he’s going to be at Michael’s to sort things out in his head and Ryan just standing there after he leaves this sick ache in his chest because _wait, no_ , and when he turns around there’s _Jeremy_.

And here’s the other thing:

Gavin and Ryan? 

Not normal people at all.

Because Gavin is some kind of hitman - used to be a team with Dan years and years ago, but there was some kind of trouble and Gavin ended up in America. Found his way to Los Santos and his reputation came along, got him steady work when he wanted it and enough respect that people listened when he declined a job for whatever reason. (Oh, he loves cameras and whatnot, might have done something with them in another life, but in this one they make for an excellent cover story.)

And Ryan, oh, Ryan.

He’s the Vagabond, formerly battle buddy with Jeremy, and there was a mission or a job that went bad so incredibly fast. Almost killed both of them, and their superiors wanted to break their team up anyway, so why not let them think the other had died? (They weren’t expecting Ryan and Jeremy to resign, weren’t expecting them to turn into ghosts, but there you are)

Ryan’s the Vagabond with his fearsome reputation around the city. Gets jobs that take him away from it for a bit, has him stumbling over abandoned kittens and strays clawing out a living in some dirty back alley. Has him bringing them home to Gavin who rolls his eyes at Ryan and makes grabby hands for the tiny kittens.

Jeremy’s got an alter ego these days, some asshole in this horrific combination of orange and purple and no goddamn sense to any of it.

So when Gavin leaves, Ryan turns to Jeremy and asks him what he’s really doing in town, and Jeremy?

Well.

He’s being paid a lot of money to kill some asshole. Annoying as hell and incredibly skilled and hard to pin down. Someone who might give them a run for their money (maybe though, because the Battle Buddies are fuckin’ awesome).

British. Had a hideous bike and - 

“Wait, are you talking about _Gavin_?”

And that’s how Ryan finds out Gavin isn’t normal either when Jeremy lays out the files he was given. (How he realized Ryan was alive, and holy shit, what kind of fuckery is this that Ryan’s in a goddamn relationship with this fucking psycho???)

Ryan reads the files, and thinks something’s wrong there. No way Gavin could have done half these things. He’s clumsy and a bit of a disaster and so on, but - 

Ryan’s also seen him climb up a tree like a damn monkey when one of their cats got up there, or just for the hell of it. Seen other things too, the way Gavin gets when they hear gunfire in the distance (Los Santos), or that face he makes when they’re watching an action movie or some spy thriller. (He used to think it had to do with the camerawork, but now? Probably not. Or maybe not entirely that.)

Still.

There are atrocities in the files that he knows, knows, Gavin would never commit. (He’s sure of it.)

Jeremy’s got this face on like he thinks Ryan’s compromised, but - 

“Okay, lets say the guy who hired me is a piece of shit, where does that leave us?”

It leaves them trying to figure out who wants Gavin dead - they find out very quickly that Gavin’s alter-ego has a lot of enemies, so that’s no real help.

In the middle of their junior detective act, someone tries to kill _them_.

Jeremy thinks it’s Gavin, but Ryan isn’t so sure, and for whatever reason they end up a Michael’s place.

Which is, you know, on fire.

“Well, shit.”

More running around with people trying to kill them, and Ryan gets a call. On his work phone.

Unknown number, but when he answers it’s Gavin.

Voice neutral, controlled, as he reels off an address and hangs up before Ryan can say a damn thing.

Jeremy thinks it’s a trap, but Ryan trusts (trusted?) Gavin, so they go to the address.

“Super original,” Jeremy says, because it’s an abandoned warehouse in the industrial district.

Ryan shoots him a look and heads inside. 

And there’s Gavin, standing next to -

“You’re Mogar?”

It’s Michael, looking annoyed as hell and a little like he just got finished yelling at Gavin. (He did.)

Gavin’s watching Ryan, eyes sliding to Jeremy when he waves at Gavin and Michael (of course he does), and it’s all very emotionally fraught because BETRAYAL and whatnot. 

(Did they ever really know one another? How much trust was there between them? How did they never pick up on the clues staring them in the face for so long???)

And Geoff ambles in and looks so fucking done with all these idiots.

Gavin, who works for him from time to time on the down-low and Michael who works for him all the time not so much on the downlow. (But you know, heist masks and such and Ryan’s only ever worked with the Fakes for heists and other jobs where masks were involved and other handwavy convenient things.)

Geoff, who working on the problem of someone trying to kill one of his people, _Mr. Dooley_.

Jeremy shrugs, like things couldn’t go so very wrong for him and Ryan here - there’s a sniper up high somewhere with a bead on them - little red dot over Jeremy’s heart and all.

Asks Geoff if he’s aware of the things Gavin’s done, and tosses out little tidbits from the files he was given.

Gavin’s livid, the more Jeremy talks because he knows exactly who’s after him. Turns to Geoff who also knows, because those atrocities that asshole claims Gavin committed so long ago were the reason Gavin ended up in America.

Had him meeting Burnie and the Roosters who got him out of a mess that asshole got him tangled up in. (Got that asshole too, put him in jail or made him the target of several powerful people who didn’t take kindly to people trying to stage a bloody coup in their crews.)

“Do you honestly expect me to believe this whole thing is someone trying to get revenge on you? That’s the plot of a bad movie!”

“Dude, our lives are the plot of a bad movie.”

Because Jeremy, he’s selective about the jobs he takes. When he found out this British asshole who is some kind of monster was in a relationship with Ryan, he fucking _flew_ to Los Santos (literally and figuratively).

But now maybe Gavin’s not a horrible monster with no moral compass after all???

(Jeremy who liked Gavin after meeting him even though he shouldn’t because, again, _horrible monster with no moral compass???_ and starting to like him even more - understanding why Ryan’s in love with the guy - and that’s going to be a problem isn’t it?)

All of them working together against this common enemy - 

“He’s going to go after Ryan because he wants to hurt Gavin, you dumbfucks, so maybe don’t pull an asshole move and go after this fucker on your own?” 

And Ryan finally gets why Gavin almost died choking on his drink the first time Ryan met Michael and mentioned something about hi having a fiery temper.

Gavin gets why Ryan couldn’t stop laughing when Gavin asked if he wasn’t really heading off for a ~secret shoot when he was called out of town, and so on, both of them wondering how they missed the signs for so long.

Eventually there’s a dramatic ~final battle, in which Ray saves them all at the last moment because the asshole trying to kill Gavin forgot the Fakes have a sniper of his class and then it’s just cleanup.

Gavin heading back to the apartment he shares (shared?) with Ryan to get his things - one of their neighbors have been looking after the animals - when he think’s Ryan’s not going to be there. (Because hey, clearly a relationship built on lies isn’t going to last, and Jeremy’s there, so...)

But no, no.

Ryan’s there, siting on the couch being used as a jungle gym by the cats and various animals and it’s awkward.

Painfully so, because there are ~feelings still. Those, at least, were never a lie, and they talk. Slow, halting, awkward as all hell because _really_.

Gavin still gets his things, still leaves. Headed to Geoff’s penthouse because after all the added chaos they put Los Santos through these past few weeks, why no become a full-fledged member of the Fakes? He’s got a way with words when he wants to, and people never expect someone like Gavin to be as dangerous as he is.

Ryan doesn’t mope, no, but he does malinger for a bit.

Jeremy forces him to go get them coffee one day, and -

“Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t see where I was going - _Gavin_?”

There’s some stupid, obnoxious laughter, and when they look over Michael and Jeremy are watching-not-watching them from a booth and laughing like idiots and holy shit, what even are their lives?

They re-learn one another, find out the only real lies between them were their damn cover stories, and they’re both generally idiots?

Jeremy gives Gavin a new bike as an apology for all the times he tried to kill him before realizing he maybe shouldn’t have been??? (It’s that thing with the American flag paint job, and Jeremy’s smirking like the asshole he is and so damn pleased with himself when he sees Gavin’s reaction.)

Eventually Ryan joins the Fakes, and so does Rimmy Tim (not Jeremy, though) and after a bit there’s a betting pool among the Fakes on how long it takes before that particular trio gets their heads out of their asses and realize they’re all into each other?

Gavin is still “fascinated” with Jeremy, who gives him shit but in a playful way (He absolutely doesn’t try to kill him anymore, which. Always a nice thing.) 

Jeremy who did what he did for Ryan, and Ryan who is so -

He’s _careful_ , because he thought Jeremy was _dead_ and that was horrible. And then he thought Gavin was as good as dead when he found out the truth about him which was just as bad. (Also, guilt at being a hypocrite, lol)

But now Jeremy’s back, and Ryan and Gavin are fixing what’s broken between them, and that’s fine, it’s good. No reason to want anything else when this is more than he expected. (Good things don’t happen to him often, and if they do, they don’t last.)

Gavin and Jeremy figure it out first, and from there it’s a matter of waiting for Ryan to figure out what he wants, and then they arrange things with Lindsay so they get a cut of the winnings from the betting pool, because hey. 

They may be idiots, but they’re not that kind of dumb, okay.

...And then they live happily ever after with their many animals and criminal exploits and the whatnot.


	15. Golden Boy (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/168639212526/i-like-to-imagine-gavin-wears-something-like-this)

I like to imagine Gavin wears something like this when the crew is crashing a high-level shindig hosted by a crooked politician/businessman with connections to a rival crew or some such. (Either to deliver a warning or fuck some shit up, and they want to pick just the right moment.)

Let the guy realize what’s about to happen when he spots Gavin in this thing, and thinks, _oh, shit_ because there’s no way this can be good.

The partygoers area all mesmerized/fascinated by this person - definitely not Ramsey’s Golden Boy because the man’s a criminal. And the host of the party is a fine, upstanding citizen who would never have dealings with that sort, but really?

There’s only one person in Los Santos who’d wear something like that, really. 

Everyone watches as Gavin charms his way over to said host, all friendly smiles and soft words and no one has any idea why the host suddenly goes ghost-white when the man in the gold jacket leans in and whispers something in his ear before wandering off to the refreshment table. 

...And then a few minutes later things start exploding and everything’s on fire and that politician/businessman’s reputation is in tatters and whatever connections he had with the criminal underworld are avoiding his calls and all the rich elite of Los Santos are abuzz with that time they were _this close_ to Ramsey’s Golden Boy and knew it the whole time.

Gavin totally bitches about his new jacket being ruined because Michael got a little too enthusiastic with the explosives because he really liked it. :(((((


	16. Trivia Crack dorkfaces (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169202712966/okay-but-gavin-and-ryan-being-matched-up-in-a)

Okay, but. 

Gavin and Ryan being matched up in a random game of Trivia Crack and developing this bizarre rivalry after one of them steals a character they fucking worked to get.

Like.

They play games in slow moments on jobs and the like and no one ever realizes because really. Gavin’s the hacker guy, he’s probably working on something for the job. And honestly, who the hell is going to bother the Vagabond when he’s dealing with business? (Or like, EVER?)

So they keep playing games with this other person out of - not quite spite, because it’s a game, but it totally is out of spite. Stealing characters from one another and laughing to themselves when that idiot loses a game.

And then they both get hired by Geoff for a heist. End up in a car with one of the other fakes running surveillance on some target or something and Ryan mutters “Shit” to himself a few moments before Gavin’s phone goes off ( _of course_ he didn’t put it on silent).

Gavin starts snickers about this idiot, reads some of his wrong answers aloud and Ryan is ignoring him at first, and then he’s like, WAIT because that’s him???

Gavin’s fucking dying over one of Ryan’s answers and Ryan snatches the phone out of Gavin’s hand and holy shit, HOLY SHIT, it is him???????

He’s been playing against Gavin for months now, cursed his stupid username for ages because the guy was either some kind of savant or just insanely lucky/stupid and it’s GAVIN.

Cue bickering that somehow alerts the place they’re watching and they have to haul ass not to get caught and the Fake babysitting them is like WHY IS THIS MY LIFE.

And then, like. Shenanigans, probably, IDK, I’ve been playing too much Trivia Crack at work on my breaks lately and am involved in a bitter battle against a player, so you know.


	17. Prompt fill: Mob connections AU (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for miss-ingno](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169444547841/i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic-where-gavin-has)

Oh, God. Like. Everything I know about the mafia I know from terrible movies and whatnot?

But every so often Gavin disappears on the crew. Says he’s got some personal business and sometimes he’s off the radar for an afternoon, other times he’s gone for days at a time.

At first Geoff and the others figured it had to do with Dan, but there was a time when the Fakes were first starting out, really making a name for themselves and things weren’t going well and Gavin fucks off somewhere.

Leaves a damn note, scribbled and harder to read than usual because they’ve had people after them and some asshole ambushed Gavin and Michael the day before. Crashed into Michael’s Gauntlet and totaled it and they’re both supposed to be recovering, but no, no.

Michael’s sacked out on the couch in the shitty little safe house and Gavin was supposed to be keeping an eye on him until the others got back. (Tracking down whoever thought they could get away with this shit, getting supplies for Michael and Gavin, all kinds of things.) And the little shit just _left_.

Took off and left behind that damn note with blood dotted on it from that gash in Gavin’s hand and if he’s torn his fucking stitches _again_ -

So.

Geoff is maybe not thinking straight, is worried and angry and exhausted and he and Ryan go after Gavin while Jack stays with Michael, and it’s not hard because the idiot took one of the cars with a tracker in it they were intending to use on a job or some such. (And it makes him even more concerned because of all people, Gavin should have known better.)

So they follow him. Go to this little hole in the wall restaurant, quiet street with little mom and pop stores side-by-side with pawnshops and shifty looking guys hanging out.

“Geoff,” Ryan says, uneasy as they roll to a stop across the street from where the car Gavin took is parked. (Shittily, btw, and that might explain why there are people crowded around it, and that’s probably not good?)

“Yeah, okay,” Geoff answers, and they get out of their car, see the way the guys around Gavin’s car (Geoff’s, really, but why quibble?) turn to look at them.

Big guys for the most part, this look to them neither Ryan or Geoff like because they’re not stupid. Know exactly what they’re looking at here.

They play it safe, all smiles and friendly little waves from Geoff as they cross the street. A cheery “Nice day, isn’t it?” as they slip past the men standing guard outside that little restaurant. (Ryan does what he can to project not a threat - unless he needs to, and then, you know. Big time threat, but everyone here knows who he is so you know.)

They head inside this little hole in the wall restaurant and it’s dim inside, takes them a bit for their eyes to adjust and by the time they do realize just how quiet its gotten.

Realize the place is empty save for a booth at the back, Gavin squeezed in with people who can’t be anything but mafia, and Geoff -

“You must be Ramsey,” one of them says, amused at the way Geoff and Ryan are standing there.

Weighing the odds and wondering just how long their ragtag crew would last against something like this and goddammit, Gavin, _what have you gotten yourself into now?_

Gavin looks up, deer in the headlights and says, “Hi, Ryan,” because somehow that’s easier than acknowledging Geoff just then. Telling him he hasn’t been exactly forthcoming with Geoff after all he’s done for him over the years.

Ryan sighs, ignores the way Geoff’s eyeing him as he lifts a hand and waves at Gavin, stupid idiot who’s out of it and in deep here and odds are good none of them are getting out of this.

“Hi, Gavin.”

Geoff and Ryan get gently ushered over to the booth, goons pulling out a couple of chairs for them and they sit, staring at Gavin who’s staring back. (Would be shredding the napkin under his hands to bits if he could, but one’s a bit fucked up at the moment and the other is just clumsy as hell thanks to exhaustion and painkillers and sheer nerves.)

“Gavino here,” the man says, smile on his face as he pats Gavin on the shoulder, “Says his people are in a - what did you call it? A ‘spot of trouble?’“

Geoff and Ryan getting annoyed with the mocking tone, the way he’s just so damned familiar with Gavin, patting his shoulder, little touches here and there and -

“You know damn well what I said,” Gavin says, but it’s not angry the way he gets sometimes, dealing with scumbags and pieces of shit and playing the game because that’s how it works in Los Santos, no.

He sounds annoyed, sure, but the same way he is when it’s one of them fucking with him. Trying to get a rise out of him for the hell of it, becuase Gavin’s fucking hilarious like that, and -

This guy looks at Geoff, at Ryan, and starts to laugh, fucking dying and the guys around him shake their heads, and relax and Geoff and Ryan have no fucking idea what’s going on?

“You haven’t told them,” the guy wheezes, slapping his hand on the table with its red and white checkered table-cloth, little candle in a glass holder. Plastic vines creeping over the wooden trellis in the background. “Gavino, you haven’t told them?”

And Gavin’s like, “Uh, no?”

Because that’s a good way to get yourself used as leverage, a bargaining chip in a city like this, isn’t it. And by the time Gavin realized Geoff and the others weren’t like that, would never be like that, well. It was too late, seemed a bit awkward to go up to them and be like, “So, ah. I have connections? With the mafia?”, didn’t it.

And then this guy, one of Gavin’s many, many “uncles” tells Geoff and Ryan for him, while Gavin is just sitting there, stealing looks at them because this is kind of a big deal?

He just sits there and frets while ,ithe other two are taking all this in, not a damn peep out of them the whole time, and it’s terrifying.

When Gavin’s uncle is done talking Geoff’s just like, “We’d like to take our idiot home now, if that’s okay?”

And Gavin’s just staring at him, at Ryan, because yes, but also no?

Clears his throat and speaks up, tells them he came here to make a deal, a bargain. Said he’d leave the crew, leave Los Santos and go back to Italy. Do what his grandfather wanted him to do all this time, if they’d help the Fakes out.

Geoff’s staring at Gavin, all battered and bruised and listing to the side because he’s an idiot and shouldn’t have be up and about like this and sweet fucking Christ, this _idiot_.

Says, “Burnie owes me a fucking favor or two, bastard’s going to pay up or I’ll kick his ass,” because like hell is he going to let one of his make these kinds of deals.

(Thinks about it though, lying. Telling Gavin to fuck off if he’s going to run out on them now. Keep the little idiot safe because even with Burnie and the Roosters backing them he’s not sure they’re going to come out of this without some casualties. Better to have Gavin alive and hating him than dead, but he’s old and selfish and knows he can’t do that to Gavin or the others. Hates himself a bit for it, but there it is.)

There’s this moment where it looks like this is it, two Fakes against the mafia, but then Gavin’s uncle laughs, arm around Gavin’s shoulder – gently, carefully – and says, “You did good, Gavino,” because he likes these idiots already.

Came all the way down here not knowing what to expect, and even when they did weren’t about to back down, leave without Gavin.

And so the Fakes have the mafia _and_ the Roosters on their side in this, end up striking up deals and the like all over the place once it’s over. Little arrangements that Gavin’s in charge of negotiating because it’s the only way anyone will agree to anything, and it’s a long, long time before anyone even thinks about fucking with the Fakes again.

(And like. Gavin getting yelled at SO MUCH by Michael and Jack and everyone when everything comes out. For being an idiot who was going to be all ~self-sacrificing and whatnot and Geoff is like, “You deserve it, you moron,” because he really kind of does.)


	18. Prompt fill: Imortal FAHC (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169453510066/for-the-fic-meme-immortal-fahc)

Okay, so this is a bit of a cheat and borrows shamelessly from various terrible tropes/television shows of my heart? (Also watching theDoomsday heist videos is not helping with this, so.)

But the Fakes are a bunch of idiots who weren’t ~bad in their original lives? But man did they straddle that line real hard. Did several questionable things – usually for the right reasons, but there were a few incidents and accidents here and there where they did ~bad things.

Nothing unforgivable, but there was a murder or two, things not done in a moment of passion or self-defense or whatever the “right reasons” for killing someone might be. (And boy howdy, are more than a few of them really fucking bitter about that one because it’s all perspective and shit, right?)

So they all die – varying time periods in history or the week before last, doesn’t really matter when they’ve all been floating in a limbo-esque state for a bit.

And then!

Some ~higher power (non-denominational or appearing to each individual Fake as some religious figure they expect – angels or devils or who even knows -and strikes a deal with them.

They get a second chance at life, sure, but now they work for the ~forces of good. (And this is deliberately, infuriatingly vague and nebulous and open to interpretation because it’s a bit of a test for these asshole, you know? If they take on these occasional missions or tasks or whatever this being assigns them, their soul is headed towards somewhere NICE when they die for the final time – another thing left deliberately vague and even more infuriatingly nebulous because WHEN is that time???)

So they get thrown together, strangers who’ve been told they’re a team now, so fucking suck it up and get to work. (Or, you know. They just all get tossed into Los Santos and end up finding each other after several misunderstandings “accidentally” killing each other thinking they were enemies, and so on and so on.)

Whichever it is, they realize they’re all on the same side (except for the times those pesky moral dilemma pop up and they’re faced with the question of just how far they’re willing to go to do the right thing? Internal rifts between the ones who make the hard choices that knocks them back towards hell a little more to keep the others from having to do that? Little things like that, and oh man, delicious ~ANGST.)

But then you have the times they’re going after some real shitbags, and it’s all pretty clear-cut. Maybe there are ~supernatural threats too, monsters or demons or whatever mixed in with the human threats they face.

And they die here and there, always that little worry of “hey, so maybe this is the last time? See you fuckers on the other side,maybe?” but it’s not like they have a lot of choice in it.

All the usual fuck ups and unexpected situations that would have (might have already) gotten them killed before this shitshow of an existence anyway.

The thing is, to the average citizen of Los Santos and the rest of the world they’re criminals. Actual, honest to God criminals because they’re forever killing baddies and blowing shit up. Street racing or doing stupid shit because it’s been slow and hey, they’ll probably live through whatever stupid stunt they’re about to pull?

Just like.

IDK, basically secret agents but with a bit of a supernatural-ish twist???


	19. Prompt fill: Gavin's civilian boyfriend (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169634496611/for-the-fic-i-wish-youd-write-meme-fahc-fic)

The thing about Gavin’s civilian boyfriend is that no one in the crew even knows he exists for months, right? The going theory is that Gavin and his ~mystery boyfriend have been a thing for maybe a year before anyone figures it out. (Although that little smile gets when one of them tries to guess just how long they’ve been together says it might even be longer than that.)

Gavin disappears on what he calls personal business all the time. If someone’s around when he does, he’ll tell them there’s something he needs to see to. Spot of business and won’t go into detail, and honestly they don’t ask for more than that. Will, at most, ask if he wants company in case it’s the kind of business where backup wouldn’t be unwelcome.

He’s taken them up on the offer exactly one (1) time. After that, the person who’d gone with him (Michael) makes damn sure to offer when Gavin’s about to leave because God help him, he’s fond of the fucker. Would like him to stop getting into the kind of shit he does, but if he can’t fucking help himself – and come on, it’s Gavin, of course he can’t – at the very least he’d like to be there to even the odds a little.

(Because here’s the thing. Gavin’s “personal business” is either shit from his past coming back to bite his ass or someone new he’s managed to piss off. Doesn’t want to/ _can't_ involve the others because it could start a fucking gang war and goddamn, this _idiot_.)

Most of the time, though, it’s crew-related business, and those times tend to go well. Gavin heading out to meet with meet with people who won’t quite commit to being official allies with the Fake AH Crew for one reason or another.

Sure, they’d get the crew’s protection, but there are times it’s not enough and they’ve been burned before. Allied with other crews only to see someone come in and stomp them out, start hunting down anyone who worked with them, _so_.

Gavin’s got his contacts, an entire network all across Los Santos (and beyond), and he takes the time to maintain a god working relationship with them because he knows what can happen if he doesn’t. If someone gets to them or they think they’d have better odds working with the Fakes’ rivals, so. He goes out to see them on a regular basis, keep an eye on them. Would like to have some warning if they’ve been flipped on him, know ahead of time if there’s trouble headed their way to prepare.

The others think that’s what’s going on, that this is just a hacker he’s mentioned a time or two in the past. Someone he’s gone to when the crew needed something hacked or had a tech problem. (Had design the security for Geoff’s penthouse and the rest of the building, for the safehouses the crew has spread around the city.)

It goes on for a bit, but then Gavin slips up, or maybe he’s stopped trying to hide it.

Tired and a little hurty after a heist went south on them, and his phone rings. Rings and rings and rings and he’s on some painkillers, so his guard’s down. Not a problem, is it, though, when he’s with the others and they’ve proven themselves to be safe time and time again, so he answers.

Soft, sweet, “Hello, love,” after he glances at the name, and the others don’t really pay attention at first.

They’re working on pinning down the source of the clusterfuck that ended with them in a crappy little safehouse at the edge of the city waiting for things to calm down before they make a move. 

After a few minutes though, Michael looks over to where they left Gavin on the shitty couch because he’s being all _soft_. Trying to keep his voice down, turned away from them but he’s trying to reassure whoever he’s talking to that he’s fine, not a scratch on him which is fucking rich considering he’s a goddamn mess at the moment, but he’s trying.

For a minute he thinks Gavin must be talking to Dan, but then Gavin calls them ‘love’ again, all soft and gooey and he catches a glimpse at Gavin’s face and that’s even worse, and that’s what clues them all in to the fact Gavin’s involved with someone.

After they clear up that mess, it’s a mission the others are on to find out _who_ Gavin’s dating. They use the excuse that it’s a matter of protecting the crew, make sure he’s not a potential threat, a problem in the making, even though they know Gavin would never do a damn thing to put the crew at risk. Takes their safety far more seriously than their own (and goddamn, that’s another problem, but priorities, you know?).

And Gavin, he leads them on a merry little chase for a good long while before he lets them think they’ve won.

Leaves that little tracker they stuck on him where it is, picks a little cafe and a table where they can ~spy on Gavin and his date without being seen. (Really sets them up for all this nice and neat, but they’re too focused on finally finding out who he’s seeing to care.)

They’re not expecting what they get.

Figure it’d be some knockout like Meg (the two of them meeting by chance on a job years and years back and teaming up to let Gavin get his hands on some important files, for Meg to get close to her target and both of them fleecing some rich asshole out of his money as a bonus, and really, she’s out of his league). Maybe an actor or model – Vinewood is right there, after all – but no.

It’s some guy. Good looking, sure, but he’s just sort of there? Nothing about him that’s really memorable, although he has a nice smile and that laugh, all right. That laugh is so goddamn dorky, what even is it??? Also, the dad jeans and questionable choice in footwear and the glasses okay, the glasses. Quiet and soft-spoken and they like the way he looks at Gavin, treats him, so that’s a thing, but -

“He’s a fuckin’ nerd, Gav.”

It’s not even mean, just Michael trying to work all of this out in his head, and Gavin rolls his eyes.

“He works in IT, Michael. Hardly going to be Rambo, now is he?”

Everyone’s just confused because this Ryan guy isn’t really like anyone Gavin’s shown any interest in in the past you know, is just some normal guy (okay, no, some unbelievably nerdy guy) who works from home and has like a million strays that he works to rehabilitate and the like, fosters various animals that people bring to him and such and holy shit, what is this guy even doing with Gavin?

How the hell did they meet, because he’s so damn nerdy, so normal, so goddamn _nice_.

And, okay, it’s not like Gavin’s a fucking monster or anything, but just the other week he shot someone in the fucking face when a deal went bad. Made the mistake of discounting the fast-talker with the designer clothes and gold-framed sunglasses - all the shit that makes up the Golden Boy - as a threat and went after Michael first instead. Is back to pulling the role of sniper on certain jobs/heists since Ray’s gone back to freelancing more often than not, still gets the shot he’s going for every damn time, calm and cool and focused.

Gavin won’t tell them, though. Just laughs or gets this _look_ on his face when they’re trying to work it out Michael and Jeremy bouncing increasingly ridiculous theories off one another, Geoff and Jack chiming in here and there. Just shakes his head fondly and throws in a little bit of information about Ryan they didn’t have before or makes a comment to stir the pot a bit, and leaves them to trying to figure things out for themselves.

Gavin starts telling them when he’s going out for work-related reasons, and Ryan-related reasons.

Gavin handles the teasing and mockery well enough, doesn’t mind because the others are never mean, vicious with it. Are glad Gavin has this nerdface to go home to, but they worry a bit.

For Gavin, for Ryan, they just worry.

More so as time goes by and they end up working Ryan themselves a few times. No Gavin to act as a intermediary when he’s off dealing with other matters and they need Ryan’s particular skill-set, his expertise. Get to know this guy, realize why Gavin’s so into him when they find out he’s not just some mild-mannered computer guy. Is sarcastic and funny (although his humor does go dark at the oddest times.)

They tease and joke and it’s all in good fun, but then shit goes wrong.

Some rival crew or some such going after them, but it’s manageable at first. Ambushes and targets of opportunity and the like, but the Fakes always manage to come out on top. Set B Team on getting to the bottom of things and focus on a time-sensitive heist.

And of course things go catastrophically wrong, and before they know it Gavin and Jack are missing and Michael’s fucked up. Concussed and stitches in his side when he got caught in an explosion. Jeremy’s halfway there to saying fuck it and going after Gavin and Jack Tearing the city apart until they find them, and Geoff – God, he’s tempted, so damn tempted but then he gets a phone call.

Gavin’s phone, shoved into Michael’s jacket pocket before Gavin and Jack provided the distraction to lead the rival crew away from his hiding spot.

And Goddamn, that’s going to stick with Michael for the rest of his life. Gavin’s stupid little smile, blood on his face and pale as shit and reassuring Michael that everything was going to be okay, right, boi, just stay here and the others will come get you because they’d stuck another stupid tracker in his phone from way before this. Still trying to find out who his ~mystery bf was and Gavin had left it in the whole damn time. Knew they’d be able to find him on that, even with Michael’s phone long gone and Gavin’s dead from the beating it had taken in the ambush, but that tracker, just kept on working. Squeezing Michael’s shoulder and ducking his hand when he tried to grab him, keep him from being such a fucking idiot, Jack already down the street.

Geoff gets the phone call, and when he checks sees Ryan’s name on the screen and has no idea what he’s going to tell him, if he _should_.

But he does, because he owes the man that much, and -

“I’m downstairs.”

Geoff shares a look with Jeremy, who doesn’t know what’s happening but realizes it’s not good at the look on Geoff’s face.

“Ryan - “

But Ryan hangs up and Geoff’s got no other choice, goes down to let him up and almost has a fucking heart attack because that’s not fucking _Ryan_.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t shoot me,” the Vagabond says as Geoff pulls his gun.

Geoff’s staring at the guy, black skull mask and the jacket’s a little different, but it’s been years since anyone’s seen the guy. Rumors said he went down in a blaze of glory in a stand-off with the cops. Maybe his old jacket was a casualty, Geoff doesn’t fucking know, doesn’t know why he’s obsessing over the fucking jacket because -

“Ryan?”

It’s Michael, leaning hard on Jeremy and both of those idiots have come down to see what’s going on because Geoff’s been fucking staring at the Vagabond for a while now. Got them worried, because things aren’t great at the moment, are they?

And then Geoff’s brain kicks back into gear, and he’s still staring at the Vagabond, at _Ryan_ , and things don’t quite make sense, pieces of the story missing still, but -

“That little fucker,” Geoff says, because this is just like Gavin.

Ryan snorts, tells them he knows where Gavin and Jack are – should be – because the crew were a little overzealous with the trackers and Gavin’s left most of them, figured it might come in handy one day. (Might have tried slipping a few on the others here and there, but they’re all either destroyed in the typical chaos of a heist or a bored afternoon or lost.)

So Ryan does his ~hacker thing, while Geoff and the others have all these moments where their lives flash before their eyes remembering all the shit they’ve given nerd!Ryan and Gavin in the past. All the things they did to fuck with them, and _oh God_.

Then they set off to teach this rival crew why it’s a bad idea to mess with the Fakes, the Vagabond this terrifying force at the front of it all. Leave a path of destruction as a message to anyone else who’d think about trying something like this in the future.

Get Gavin and Jack back and then it’s this awkward moment of hey, Gavin’s been involved with the Vagabond for who knows how long. (What the hell is the story there???) They’ve been teasing them both like no one’s business for ages and he hasn’t killed them because that nerdy little cover of his, but now???

Gavin’s just laughing at them because Ryan is a damn softie, squishy little teddy bear and all, and everyone is staring at him like he’s an idiot. Did he not see the way Ryan murderized a good chunk of the crew that had Gavin and Jack? (Truthfully, no, because that tired old scene where they were trying to squeeze information about the Fakes out of Gavin and Jack. But he did get to see the aftermath when they broke into that ugly little interrogation room. Saw what they’d done to Gavin and Jack, and it’s nice to know they won’t have to worry about that particular crew ever again.)

Ryan coming by the penthouse for ~hacker things, but wearing the mask or face paint (both sometimes) just to fuck with the others. (Geoff, especially.)

Not actually part of the crew just yet, but he goes with Gavin on his “personal business” and Gavin trying to get him to _not_ because people know the Vagabond’s around again, was seen with the Fake AH Crew. (Was part of that whole mess a few weeks back that wiped out an entire crew and took part of the city with it – because hey, things tend to catch on fire with the Fakes, but this was different.)

“You’ll scare them into having heart attacks, Ryan!”

“You think so?”

And so on and so on and the others just stare because it’s like Gavin and Ryan bickering over some dumb thing any other day, before the big ~reveal, and it’s so weird?

But then they keep going, and someone (Michael) snaps, tells them to fucking give it up already, Christ. You’re _both_ wrong. Ryan turns to look at him, still wearing the stupid mask, and okay, all right? Okay, Michael’s so done with these two.

Starts yelling and the others are like oh, hey, because Ryan is just taking it, amused and Gavin’s squeaking, leaning on him and dying he’s laughing so hard.

After that he’s just part of the crew full-time, and no one questions it. Think it’s nice to have a hacker of his skill right there with him, no reason to outsource and all, and oh, hey. Only idiots fuck with the Vagabond, so there’s that.


	20. Prompt fill: Battle Buddies in the FAHC AU (Jeremwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169681519876/sending-another-fic-i-wish-youd-write-meme-you)

Okay, so the whole Battle Buddies in the FAHC universe thing makes me so happy?

Like, what were they before they decided the criminal life was the way to go?

Special ops? SWAT officers? Freaking mall cops? A couple of nerds who got a little too into a game of laser tag on their lunch break and somehow ended up criminals through a series of improbable wacky shenanigans?

WHO KNOWS.

Thing is, they’re somewhat “normal” on their own, right? (Aside from Jeremy and his whole thing with Rimmy Tim and Ryan with the Vagabond shtick.)

The crew hears about this ~spooky figure in Ryan, right? This guy who’s terrifyingly good at his job. Who everyone’s heard of with a high success rate and this reputation for not taking being double-crossed well, not that anyone does that anymore after what happened with the last guy to try that.

(Thing is, though, there’s always someone who thinks they can get away with it, so there’s always a new “last guy” and after people hear what happened to him, you’d think they’d learn, but they don’t, so….)

Geoff wants to hire him for a job, needs the extra muscle and with his reputation behind him they might pull this off without anyone dying horribly.

They meet in some abandoned warehouse or an parking garage that has some overhead light about to die flickering and making that buzzing noise because ~atmosphere.

At least that’s what the crew thinks, Geoff muttering about this Vagabond guy being a fucking dramatic bastard because seriously? But in reality Jeremy’s around somewhere with his sniper rifle because the whole double-cross thing, you know?

And, sure, the Fakes have a reputation for dealing fairly with their allies and various freelancers and the like, but _still_.

Geoff’s talking to Gavin who’s taking in the place they’re supposed to meet, casually notes that there are a few prime spots for a sniper to set up.

Hands in his pockets, shades pushed into his hair as he glances around, says, “That’s a lovely spot,” and, “Oh, that’s _nice_ ,” and so on and Geoff’s watching him because Gavin would know, wouldn’t he.

Spent a lot of time up high for the crew before Ray happened along. While he plays a different role in the crew now, he likes to keep his hand in. Stay sharp, and there’s more than one reason Geoff brings him to things like this.

Still, Gavin doesn’t seem concerned, so Geoff’s bitching about waiting for the damn Vagabond in this shithole of a warehouse or some parking garage in the middle of the night.

And then the Vagabond’s _just there_.

Geoff turning around when Gavin stops talking mid-sentence, eyes moving to track the Vagabond behind him, and is just like, _of course_.

Sees the Vagabond standing there watching them, waiting for them to get on with it, and lays out the job offer he has for him.

Ryan accepts and the crew deals with him being a creepy weirdo for a while because he’s good at what he does so they keep bringing him in on things.

He fits in pretty well, deals with Gavin surprisingly well even through the most ridiculous shenanigans and unbelievable questions. Works well with the others, and deals with Jack needling him every now and then as time goes on.

Of course they’re all a little curious as to why he heads out as soon as he gets paid after a job/gets his cut for a heist he’s gone, you know? Not like it’s a requirement for any of them to hangout at Geoff’s penthouse to wind down after something like that, but still.

They wonder, but no one wants to pry (well, maybe Gavin but even he’s not dumb enough to cross that boundary – yet.)

And then someone puts out bounties on the crew – new ones, just one more than enough to set someone up for life – but they just don’t realize for a bit because someone’s usually trying to kill them.

For the notoriety of taking one of the Fakes out or some past slight of old grudge, it doesn’t matter what the reason.

But then it’s Ryan and Michael playing muscle for Gavin at a meet, and someone goes after Gavin, and throws the whole thing into chaos.

A sniper, and after they get to over there’s yelling and stand-offs because the Fakes don’t know if the people Gavin was negotiating are in on or not (they’re not). Ryan being all Vagabond-y at these guys with Michael as his foil and Gavin trying to de-escalate -

And then there’s a commotion outside the area they’ve taken cover and someone kicks the door in. Throws some asshole through the door and everyone freezes.

A moment later a guy in some ridiculous ensemble walks in dusting his hands off (no, _really_ ) and is like, “Nailed it.”

All pleased with himself and whatnot and it comes out that Jeremy just got back in ton after a job of his own. Heard about the bounties someone put out on the Fakes and got all curious, ended up doing a little investigating and shit.

What he tells the others, though, is that he was in the neighborhood just happened to stumble on this asshole with a sniper rifle – real shitty one, too, fuckin’ amateur – and oh, hey. How’s it’s going, Battle Buddy?

And then everyone’s freaking out about whoever put the bounties out on them, and Jeremy’s like, “Uh…”

Because this certain area of Los Santos is now on fire, and roughly half a block is just _gone_ , and Ryan _sighs_ because they’ve talked about this. No blowing shit up without him and all that.

After that he’s just part of the crew, although they think his name is Rimmy Tim for the longest time. Find out Ryan’s living with some guy named Jeremy, that they’ve been together for years, but think he’s cheating on him with Rimmy Tim when someone catches them doing the “holy shit, we almost died, guess it’s time to make out” thing.

Have no idea what to do, and try to approach Rimmy Tim and Ryan separately, both of those assholes keeping the lie going until Ryan fucking loses it. Breaks down laughing when the crew puts together a fucking intervention, wondering why Jeremy won’t answer his phone and the ~truth comes out.

NOW.

If Jeremy’s the one to join the crew first he gets hired on as additional muscle when Michael’s hurt and the crew’s under pressure. Maybe rival crews and whatnot are testing boundaries, pushing and testing just to see how the Fakes reacts.

Michael gets hurt in an altercation, and while they make the people responsible for it very, very sorry, it leaves them a man down.

So they find Jeremy, Geoff leaving it up to Gavin if he wants this weirdo in the purple and orange as backup while Michael recovers. And Gavin, okay. Gavin’s got Jack too, and this Jeremy guy is likable enough. Comes highly recommended from their allies, so he says sure.

And it’s awesome because he not only goes along with Gavin’s terrible ideas, he improves upon them.

They wreak havoc for a bit, terrify the Fake AH Crew’s enemies and new and terrifying ways and eventually things calm down. Go back to normal-ish for Los Santos and this trial run they’ve given Jeremy during all of it comes to an end. They decide to keep him, because he fits in with the crew and everyone loves him and also he’s awesome, right?

Things go on for a while and one day Jeremy’s crappy little car breaks down and he needs a ride, gets one from his old buddy from way back.

And for whatever reason the crew just happens to be hanging around outside the building waiting on Jeremy before heading up to the penthouse.

See this sweet little Zentorno pull up and Jeremy get out, all smiley and laughing and when he stats up the steps to the others there’s this moment, right? All of them trying to see who’s driving that car, and holy shit, it’s the goddamn _Vagabond???_

And Jeremy’s like, uh, yeah? Didn’t Geoff want to go over plans for the new heist?

The others are like yes, but also Vagabond???

But Jeremy’s already headed inside and the Zentorno long gone, and Jeremy’s acting like nothing is out of the ordinary.

Doesn’t say a damn thing when it keeps happening, or when the Vagabond drops by with his _lunch_ , or baked good and whatnot and it’s so, so bizarre, but so is Jeremy and it just turns into a thing that everyone is like “fuck it” about.

Eventually they’re planning a job and Geoff’s like “We could use an extra gun on this one, anyone have suggestions?”

Everyone looks pointedly at Jeremy because by this point the Vagabond might as well be part of the crew anyway. Hangs out at the penthouse and drinks all of Geoff’s diet soda and sniffs out various candy stashes better than any bloodhound.

May or may not have taken care of some problems for the crew on the down low (only not, because the Vagabond’s a very distinctive figure in Los Santos), and really, he might as well be getting paid, you know?

Jeremy’s just like, “What? Oh, yeah. I mean, I kind of do?”

And that’s how the Vagabond joins the crew.

…A few months later this whole Rimmy Tim business starts, and no one in the crew bats an eye while the rest of Los Santos has no fucking clue what’s going on.


	21. Cockroach Gavin (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169888843071/okay-so-i-really-want-that-fic-where-gavin-has)
> 
>  
> 
> Now a fic here: [Breaking Light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284365)

Okay, so I really want that fic where Gavin has the incredible luck/skills to get out of situations that would kill most people, right? Breaks out various skills and whatnot the others don’t know about when they’re in a tight corner somewhere.

For example, that time their getaway plane crashed in the middle of nowhere and all their tech - phones and whatnot - were useless so they had to Incredible Journey it back to Los Santos. Turns out Gavin knows a surprising amount of survival skills, living off the land and whatnot and refuses to tell anyone where he learned it all.

Whenever one of the crew asks him how he does it he’s like ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ because they’d never believe him if he told them???

And then at some point it slowly occurs to the crew that someone’s trying to kill Gavin? 

Like.

He’s involved in a lot of accidents and odd little incidents here and there. Shows up at the penthouse in one of his cars, back window gone, bullet holes all over. Rear fender fucked up where it looks like someone hit him, maybe tried to drive him off the road.

“What the hell happened to you?”

Gavin gets out of the car and holds up the coffee he stopped to get just down the street and says, “Sorry I’m late, the line was unbelievable.”

Takes a little sip before heading upstairs like nothing’s wrong.

The moment Gavin’s gone from sight the back bumper falls off and the others are just staring at this poor car with the smoking engine and bullet holes and what the actual fuck???

A sniper taking shots at Gavin randomly. Little surprises like sticky bombs on his cars or bikes. Things like that, and they’re getting increasingly worried because hey, no, they kind of like this idiot and also why isn’t Gavin even the tiniest bit concerned that some wants him really, really, amazingly dead?

Gavin rolls his eyes when the others insist he has to take at least one of them with him wherever he goes. Gives in grudgingly and drags them all over the city just to fuck with them.

AND THEN.

After a couple of weeks of this, of someone doing their best to kill the hell out of Gavin while the crew are scrambling to find out who’s behind it, they get their answer.

In like, one of the worst ways possible because Gavin snuck out - “He's so fucking grounded when we find him!” - and they’re rushing to get wherever he is. (Geoff threatening to get him micro-chipped, get ALL of them micro-chipped when it comes to it because they’re going to give him a heart attack at this rate.)

They get Matt to hack his phone, and they get to listen to everything while they rush to get there ~in time. Pile into various cars or grab a van or truck or something that will fit all of them and peel out of the garage giving no fucks about traffic laws.

Realize Gavin’s playing a game of cat and mouse in an old abandoned factory and are like what the fuck is going on. (Get a phone call from Lindsay who's finally discovered who's been after Gavin all this time. Everyone being like, well, fuck, because that’s the goddamned Vagabond.)

And of course Gavin’s taunting the guy. Pushing his luck like he always does and what the hell did Gavin do to him to make him want him dead this badly?

They get there just in time to see Gavin and the Vagabond up on some rusty little catwalk with ~dramatic lighting and the like.

Gavin all tired and weaponless and staring at the Vagabond who's just watching him, gun in his hand and aimed at Gavin and everyone's like NO, and then the Vagabond is like “Bang.”

Literally says it, and everyone's just ??? because Gavin's _bitching at the Vagabond_.

And the Vagabond's laughing. Like a _dork_.

Offers a hand to help Gavin stand up, still bitching as they make their way down to where the others are watching in confusion.

Gavin and the Vagabond stopping short when they realize they're not alone and are like, “Uh, hey?”

And then the yelling, like. Vast amounts of it before Gavin and Ryan manage to tell them that this is a thing Ryan just does.

Plays an elaborate game of Try to Kill Gavin! :DDDD every so often or whenever he's been out of town for a bit.

Claims it's to keep Gavin sharp, stay on his toes and whatnot, but Gavin's like, “He's a damn lunatic.”

Tries to sound all annoyed and put out, but he sounds _fond_ , and the Vagabond is so, so amused and seriously, what the fuck???

The crew realizing the reason Gavin has so many of these skills/abilities/whatever is thanks to Ryan.

(They totally did “The Most Dangerous Game” thing on an island somewhere for a week or so way back when, and Gavin took it upon himself to learn survival skills around Los Santos because he never knows if Ryan's going to pull the same thing out here.)

Ryan offering to help run them through the same “training” and everyone is like NO. 

(Except for maybe Jeremy, and even then it's more in the “How can I use this opportunity to fuck with my friends and co-workers?” kind of way and/or creative use of explosives and such.)

Ryan just sort of vanishes for a while and everyone is like GAVIN. Why is your friend a goddamn lunatic?

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The cycle repeats a few more times with the crew just being so done with Gavin and Ryan and this bizarre foreplay thing they have going on.

The third time around Geoff is like, “Look, buddy. How about you stop trying to kill Gavin already? Like. Come on, man. Ask him on a date, _something_. You're killing me here.”

Ryan looking at Geoff blankly and being like. “...Uh...We're married?”

(Either to mess with Geoff or because it's true – both, probably – and it turns out they got married way back when by accident thanks to wacky shenanigans, and it stuck?)

Geoff's brain shorting out. Everyone being WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK GAVIN???

When Geoff's brain reboots he's like, “I hate you both, and also,welcome to the crew.”

Eventually Gavin and Ryan telling the crew that Ryan was hired to kill Gavin and just never got around to doing it? Used to pop up once in a while in Gavin's life and give it a try because he was bored or whatever and hey, Gavin's around somewhere?

Somehow turned into this and then the whole “getting married by accident but then they realized it was ~true love” so now Ryan does it when he's been out of town for a while, or for their anniversary?

“What is wrong with you two?”

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

(Look, I just re-watched Chopper Vs. Chopper and Ryan being all “Oh, wow, nice job not dying!” with Gavin during the impromptu race gave me ideas and I'm super duper tired, idk. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)


	22. Knight Rider AU (Mavinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/169919007161/given-michaels-love-for-the-ruiner-2000-i-would)

Given Michael’s love for the Ruiner 2000 I would love that Knight Rider AU. (You know the one.)

Michael **[Name Redacted]** ~hardcore criminal who gets recruited into the Roosters new law enforcement agency program after shit goes spectacularly wrong for him one day and he walks into an ambush.

Gavin’s the main brain behind Michael’s new partner, and it turns out that he has an Arch Nemesis in the Vagabond. (This is discovered over the course of his ~adventures, because of course it is.)

Michael agrees to work with the agency because he figures they’re his best bet of figuring what the hell is going on with his life. ~~Also, sweet car?~~

He gets a new identity to go with his new face. Rolls his eyes when he sees they game him possibly the best/worst last name in “Jones”, but hey. Whatever.

Goes around being a do-gooder for a bit. Meets up with the Mobile Operations Platform or MOP for short (lolololol) after missions to bicker with Gavin and give Matt a hard time and so on and so on. Bonds with the others working for the agency and reluctantly admits to himself it’s not so bad working with these assholes.

And Gavin, okay.

He’s this annoying little shit always with his questions about Michael and his partnership with the Ruiner (let’s just call it MOGAR, because it makes me laugh). Also, the utterly stupid, ridiculous hypothetical questions he comes up with and God, he cannot stand the guy. 

Really.

Except you know, for the time spent in the lab when MOGAR’s on the fritz after a rough mission, watching Gavin work. Arguing with this A.I. he helped develop. Catches him playing games when he can’t sleep, mind going a mile a minute and holy shit, he’s so fucking bad, better show him how it’s done, right?

Taking him for a spin in MOGAR when they’re testing out upgrades - new missiles/speed boosts. The fucking parachute, that kind of thing.

Gavin getting caught up in trouble every so often and Michael and MOGAR coming to the rescue. And that, of course,results in Michael trying to teach the idiot to defend himself? 

Montage scene of Michael teaching him how to throw a punch, how to shoot - all the things that require them being in each other’s personal space and the like. Empty shooting range at some Rooster base or a city they’re stopped in for a bit. 

Michael fighting it because he knows it’s a bad idea, but he’s gotten so damn fond of Gavin over time. May or may not have ~feelings for him, and vice versa but they’re both too dumb to do anything about it?

AND THEN.

They get word the Vagabond’s been seen again in Los Santos after going underground for a bit. He’s been gangs and crews apart and whatnot and they think he’s setting up to make his move, do something big, and Michael, okay.

It’s never sat right with him, the things they say he did. Less and less so the longer he spends working for the agency because how could he do what they say he did? 

But he must have, because it’s in the files they showed him that first time, the ones he convinced Gavin to help him find. Try to piece together a picture of the kind of man this Michael **[Name Redacted]** was through the old records and reports various law enforcement agencies have of him.

Gavin keeps looking though, because this is important to Michael and he has the feeling something’s wrong too, but he doesn’t say anything. Just does what he can to help Michael. 

The thing, though, is that if his records and files are a hard read, the Vagabond’s are _worse_.

Nothing redeeming to be found about the guy anywhere, but Michael can’t shake the feeling that’s wrong too. 

Call it a gut feeling, whatever, something isn’t right.

More ~adventures on their way to Los Santos, Michael getting more and more restless because everything feels wrong and he doesn’t know why.

Gets his memory back in bits and pieces, little flashes here and there that don’t make sense and just end up frustrating himself. Stupid useless brain, and then they get word something’s happening in Los Santos, where all of this started.

His superiors want him to take the Vagabond out before he succeeds at whatever he’s planning, and he can’t tell them no because on paper he’s an absolute monster.

Gavin and Matt and the others get all worried because Michael’s not acting like himself. (When Gavin says so, it’s all Michael can do not to laugh in his face because how the fuck would Gavin know that? _Michael_ doesn’t even fucking know.)

There’s a fight, and Michael takes off for a drive in MOGAR while the MOP is stopped somewhere to refuel and take on supplies and whatnot.

When he gets back a day or two later the thing is on fire, and holy shit, what the fuck happened???

His superiors tell him it was the Vagabond and Michael is like, well all right then, guess this is it - and then Matt runs in. Tells him the Vagabond has Gavin because of course he does.

Michael doesn’t hear whatever else his superiors are saying after that, just looks at Matt who looks like shit. Has his arm in a sling and look, has his arm in a sling and exhausted because the attack on the MOP was not a gentle thing, people died and the Vagabond has Gavin and _goddamn it_.

So he sneaks out while his superiors are making plans - plans Michael already know won’t work, will get Gavin killed - and Matt stops him.

Does the thing where Michael and MOGAR are leaving the Rooster base and have to slam on the brakes because Matt’s the kind of idiot who’d stand in the middle of the road in their way. Didn’t consider for a moment Michael and MOGAR might not stop in time, so Michael gets out and starts to yell at Matt - 

“Holy shit, dude, that was close.”

Michael’s so fucking angry because Matt shouldn’t be here, should be back at the base not getting run over - 

And Matt is like, “So, Gavin didn’t have time to install them, but he came up with new upgrades for MOGAR. Also, he found some stuff you need to see?”

They go to a ~secret Rooster base where Matt and some of the techs from the agency install the upgrades and Michael goes over the files and whatnot Gavin found. 

Something that looks like a cover-up, like the cops in Los Santos are dirty. Did their best to make Michael the scapegoat for some horrendous crimes and he wants to believe it, but he doesn’t have the time for that now.

Tell Matt to keep the files somewhere safe, not to tell anyone about them and takes off to rescue Gavin and maybe get some answers. (Knows exactly which on is the top priority, easy decision in the and.)

And then he gets to Los Santos and MOGAR helps him track Gavin down and then there’s the ~tense confrontation between Michael and the Vagabond.

This little cat and mouse game in the warehouse Gavin’s being kept in (fuckin’ cliché bullshit). Just when they get to the ~dramatic showdown they hear something being knocked over and some British idiot going, “Shit.”

Both of them looking over to see Gavin trying to get his foot untangled from old rope or wires or something and doing a terrible job of it. Falling on his ass and muttering to himself because that’s just perfect, isn’t it?

Michael looking at the Vagabond because the guy just _sighed_ , probably one of the few people who truly understand what a goddamned pain Gavin is. Probably should feel like that’s something they agree on, because Arch Nemesis? But, uh.

Also Gavin, who finally notices he’s not alone and freezes. And then looks annoyed - with _them_.

Yanks his foot free and stomps over, gets up in their faces and they back up because he looks genuinely angry and that’s startlingly rare.

And then Gavin starts yelling at them, demanding to know what the hell they’re doing.

Michael and the Vagabond sharing this look because, uh, Arch Nemesis???

Gavin sighing like they’re the idiots.

Pokes the Vagabond in the chest, “Did you not read the files I sent you?”

Turns to Michael and flaps his hands, “And you! I told Matt to give you the files if something happened, don’t tell me - “

There’s this little tremor in his voice because, again, that attack on the MOP was not a gentle thing. It occurs to Michael he might not even know Matt survived, and oh,shit.

“Uh, yeah,no. He gave them to me. Kind of had other things on my mind, though? Like this asshole kidnapping you, maybe?”

The Vagabond snorting, arms crossed as he looks at Michael like he’s the idiot, and okay, goddammit. Michael _is_ an idiot, but this time he doesn’t know why?

And then Gavin explains that he fond out someone has something very, very bad planned for Los Santos (the ~world, but Los Santos is a good start) and intends to place the blame on Michael and the Vagabond?

Started by framing them for all the crimes that are in their records and whatnot

He and Matt discovered the cover-up not too long ago, but the moment they did Gavin cut Matt out. Tried to keep him out of it, refused to tell him what he’d found because it’s ~dangerous. Someone needed to be there to take care of MOGAR and Michael if the baddies realized they were on to them, you know?

And he found a way to get into contact with the Vagabond (not all the the people working for the Roosters came from a law enforcement background, after all). Has been sending him all this information when the baddies realized what was going on and decided to put a stop to it, and hey. If they can pin the blame on the Vagabond, all the better right?

The Vagabond showing up when he found out and grabbing Gavin in the confusion when people were trying to kill him very, very dead. Running out to this safe house he’s been using and waiting for Michael to show up.

Michael just listening and being so confused because why? Why him? Why this weirdo in the stupid mask?

Gavin faltering, not meeting Michael’s eyes, not meeting the _Vagabond’s_. 

“Because we were partners,” the Vagabond says, looking at Michael. “And you said - “

He stops, anger leaking into his voice and says, “You said you’d stumbled onto something. The reason the cops were after us so fucking hard, said you knew what was going on. Said you got a call from a an old contact, and then you fucking _died on me_.”

~DRAMA~

Gavin and the Vagabond filling Michael in on what they’ve found - because they’ve been working together for who knows how long now. Trying to get to the bottom of things, and it’s super ridiculously bad action movie?

Like.

Michael and the Vagabond being partners for a while, but not the monsters the baddies are trying to make them out to be. Not the guy Michael’s been reading about for over a year now, this twisted fuck who’s done horrible things and laughed about them - because that’s a thing all the files and report agree on. 

This asshole delights in the chaos and destruction he caused. This laugh he’s heard that were recorded by news cameras or a bystander with a phone and no common sense. This laugh that’s made appearances in Michael’s nightmares. This thing that’s so close to the one that bursts out of him when he and MOGAR are perfectly in sync in the field, fucking up whatever stupid plan the baddie of the week has set up. When he fucks with Gavin or Matt or any of other Roosters.

And now he finds out that he’s not that fucked up asshole, that he never was. That the Vagabond isn’t the monster they told Michael he was, either.

Oh, they were never nice people, that’s for fucking sure, but they’re not depraved fuckers either.

The Vagabond staring at Michael as he talks, like he’s looking for his old partner in Michael’s new face. Trying to see if he’s still in there or if he’s someone else entirely, a stranger.

And this is the thing neither Gavin or the Vagabond tell Michael because the Vagabond made Gavin fucking promise, _or else_. 

That whole partners thing? 

True in more than one sense of the word, but you know, no reason to rip that old wound open again, right? Not when Michael doesn’t know, doesn’t remember, and there are more important things to deal with. 

(Gavin wondering why everyone he knows is so stupid? Like Matt and that nice agent Jeremy at the one of the Roosters’ bases the MOP tends to stop off at, and now this? Also, ouch, his own little heart, but you know. Not like Michael is interested or anything, so...)

Michael agreeing to work with the Vagabond (and Gavin) to clear their names. Getting in touch with Matt and various sources and coming up with a plan of action and spending the downtime being awkward idiots together. 

Because you know, The Vagabond is still a notorious criminal, and Michael is law enforcement now. (Technically, although really he’s just not a raging douchebag when he stumbles on situations here and there or gets handed an assignment. Does the Right Thing even though it gets him yelled at most of the tie for his...unique way of resolving things?)

And Gavin is just acting like nothing’s strange about this at all?

Pushes the Vagabond around in the man’s own space like it’s nothing, like he wouldn’t kill him for it, and oh, God.

Michael having a heart attack every fucking time Gavin does it the first few days? Until he realizes the Vagabond’s actually amused by the little idiot. Is giving him shit and fucking with him for shits and giggles. That the guy seems to like Gavin, God help him. (Gavin hasn’t started in on his stupid questions, too busy trying to untangle this mess, but it’s only a matter of time.)

Michael and the Vagabond having those weirdly awkward moments together when Gavin’s working on/with MOGAR or sacked out after pulling an all nighter.

Michael trying to figure the guy out and vice versa because Michael wants to know the kind of guy he’s dealing with here since everything he was told is a lie. And Ryan, he’s doing the same because this isn’t the Michael he knew, and he has to remind himself of that too many fucking times because he is, where it matters, and it’s fucking hard remembering.

The two of them fighting and Gavin and MOGAR pointedly ignoring the pair of idiots being angry at each other for the wrong reasons.

More ~DRAMA~ until they start to get along, act like a team.

Michael taking the Vagabond out for a spin in MOGAR, Gavin screeching in the backseat because Michael drives like a maniac.

Eventually they get to the point where they’re ready to bring the baddies down, The Vagabond and Michael and Gavin and the people they trust to be on their side in this, and they go do the thing. 

Everything goes to shit immediately, but that’s okay because they planned for that? (Maybe not Gavin getting grabbed by the baddies, but you know.)

Car chases and explosions and things on fire - so many things on fire. 

They get to the device or virus or whatever the baddie was going to use for his ~evil plan, and head baddie makes his escape using Gavin as a human shield.

Leave the Roosters to deal with rounding up the baddies hired muscle and handle clean-up while they do the Hero Thing. 

_More_ car chases and explosions and things on fire - many more things on fire.

End up chasing head baddie through his company’s office building taking out cannon fodder hired muscle along the way. 

Keeping score for each one they drop - dead or incapacitated - and Michael wondering if this is what is like with them before. Anticipating each other and covering their weak spots without having to think about it, that kind of thing - 

And then they get to the baddie - on the roof of the office building with a waiting chopper because _of course_. 

Why break his terrible cliché streak now? 

Typical stand-off with Evil Villain Monologue. Michael and the Vagabond letting the baddie confess everything, otherwise how would they ever clear their names? 

Best to have it recorded and all, and Gavin watching Michael and the Vagabond for his cue because he’s not _helpless_. 

After they get what the need out of the baddie Gavin puts some of the training Michael gave him to use and gets himself free and out of the line of fire.

There’s this pause where the baddie realizes he just lost his leverage, is facing two people he’s tried to kill at least once (came damn close with Michael). These very dangerous men he’s been framing for horrible crimes for a while now, and that’s probably not good, right?

Especially when he went after their friends, allies, too. Went after Gavin.

And the thing is, the Michael from before, the one the Vagabond knew, wouldn’t have hesitated to put a bullet in this fuckers head. (Not a nice person, after all.)

The baddie tries to use that against him, twisting the things Michael did. Telling him he’s gotten soft, working for the Roosters. Isn’t the killer he used to be.

Goes on and on and on, and Michael just stares at him, lowers his gun and listens to the idiot gloating when he goes to check on Gavin. Turns his back on this piece of shit. 

The baddie’s getting more and more agitated, spitting insults and threats because money talks, and he’s rich a million times over, a _billion_. He’ll be out on good behavior within a year. This is just a setback. They can’t stop him, he’ll be back for them, for that stupid pet scientist of theirs - 

The other thing is, the Vagabond from before, the one that Michael used to know, wouldn’t have hesitated to put a bullet in this fuckers head. (Not a nice person, after all.)

The difference between them, of course, is that the Ryan now is colder, sharper without Michael there to give him a reason not to be.

And this man, this pathetic little bastard took Michael from him, and is threatening to it all over again. To hurt Gavin, who he likes for some unknown reason, and Ryan?

He doesn’t hesitate to put a bullet in the bastard’s head now.

Doesn’t have to after the baddie snaps when they don’t react to his insults or threats. When he pulls a gun and starts to swing it around to bear on Michael and Gavin.

Just pulls the trigger and down he goes along with all the twisted little plots he carefully crafted.

Michael meeting his eyes, both of them knowing the bastard wasn’t going to leave here alive anyway. (Not nice people, because that comes back to bite you in the ass and you do what you have to in order to protect what’s yours.)

They call in the Roosters for additional clean-up and get the hell out of there. Go outside to find MOGAR waiting for them and start driving off into the sunset, as you do when these things are over - 

But then Gavin is like NO. Tells MOGAR to take them someplace for medical care because Michael and the Vagabond didn’t get through this mess unscathed. Are a little beaten up, a little shot, and so on and only idiots don’t get those kind of injuries seen to!

Michael and the Vagabond turning that right back around on Gavin who isn’t exactly a vision of beauty himself, what with getting knocked around to keep him in line and such.

Debriefing and all that fun stuff happens, the Roosters working with various law enforcement agencies to clear everything up.

Get Michael’s name cleared along with the Vagabond’s and their shady allies too. Get them pardoned of their crimes for saving Los Santos/~the world.

Michael not sure what to do now because a lot of shit happened, and he’s not the monster he thought he was, but he’s not this ~hero the Roosters tried to turn him into. 

The Vagabond intending to vanish somewhere, but Gavin is very much intentionally stalling him with Matt’s help. (That whole whole mess of Michael and the Vagabond, and without any ~peril on the horizon maybe they can do something about that. Gavin’s seen the way Michael keeps looking at the Vagabond, and vice versa and it would be nice if they did something about it???)

Also, there’s talk of the Vagabond being an asset the Roosters would love to have on their side, if he can be convinced to sign up, so...

Gavin making himself scarce because it’s easier all around that way. Buries himself in his work, tweaking MOGAR’s systems and the like. Asking his opinions on new weapons and such.

Doesn’t expect Michael and the Vagabond to corner him one night, ask him why he’s been avoiding them.

“The fuck, Gavin?” 

And Gavin, all right. He’s tired and worn down and maybe not quite healed up from the whole saving the world thing. Maybe gives himself away, gestures at Michael and the Vagabond who are working towards something. He’s honestly glad for them, but he’s got work to do so if they could leave him to it, that would be lovely.

“Holy shit, you’re an idiot.”

“What he said.”

Gavin looking at them all confused because they’re not wrong, but an explanation would be nice and all?

And then the awkward confession and leaving it up to Gavin if he’d be interested in two emotionally stunted criminals - 

“You’ve been pardoned - “

“Not the point, asshole.”

\- and if he is, maybe stop by their quarter later to watch movies with them. 

“Netflix and Chill?”

“Shut the fuck up, asshole. Bring bevs if you decide to show, and not the cheap stuff.”

========

Gavin totally does show up, and he totally brings the cheap stuff.

Michael recovers his memory a little at a time. Has moments where he struggled to reconcile his past with his present, but he manages. Has Ryan and Gavin and MOGAR. The rest of the Roosters.

Ryan may or may not tinker a bit with MOGAR’s weapons systems, poke at the A.I. Gavin and Matt are developing for future agents. May or may not help Michael out on missions. Absolutely terrifies new agents and science staff, makes friends with that nice agent Jeremy.

Matt may or may not make a move at an office party at some point, may or may not make Michael and Ryan a few hundred dollars richer thanks to the betting pool.


	23. Geoff's accidental romcom adventure (Ramwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170398221776/after-the-newest-sky-factory-video-i-really-hope)

After [the newest Sky Factory video](http://achievementhunter.roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2017-minecraft-episode-297-sky-factory-part-36) I really hope there’s an AU out there where Geoff quits his ~soul-killing job and buys an old farm somewhere to write the novel he’s always meant to but never had time for. 

And, as you do, mistakes his friendly/weird/vaguely creepy neighbor for the Amazon Prime delivery guy when his orders keep going to his place and said neighbor is a decent guy, you know? 

A web developer or some such who’s had enough of the Big City Life and likewise bought a old farm. Ends up with all these animals that need to be rehabilitated or whose owners can’t care for anymore/etc., etc., etc. like that bitter old cow Edgar and whatnot.

When he gets his new neighbor’s deliveries decides he should take them over, maybe introduce himself and the like? Only before can say anything, realizes his new neighbor thinks he’s the delivery guy and is too shy/awkward/amused to correct him? And it turns into a whole thing, this.

Geoff ends up ordering crap he doesn’t need/needs but in tiny quantities that means he then has to place more orders, and oh no, he’s really very sorry to make the poor guy keep coming out to his little farm. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Meanwhile Ryan’s like, ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ because what can he do, really? The real Amazon Prime guy is shit at directions and it’s the neighborly thing to do. (Also, hey, Geoff’s face is pretty great)

And then at some point Geoff goes into the tiny town nearby and falls in love with the baby chickens at the general store/feed store and brings some back to raise because eggs are pretty great? And then he ends up with a billion chickens and oops, guess he’ll have to place more orders for chicken-related things? 

Thinks it’s a little weird that the Amazon Prime guy knows so much about raising chickens, but hey. Pretty convenient, no?

Also, super awkward flirting and the whole ~grand reveal when the actual Amazon Prime guy gets his shit together and finds Geoff’s farm. 

There’s probably that bit where Geoff ~hides away in his farmhouse, not even bothering to herd the stray chickens who somehow get into his house back to their coops. Just watches whichever one it is wandering around and has one of those “What am I doing with my life?” conversations with it, or the “Should I become even more of a hermit to avoid facing the deeply embarrassing situation I find myself in, or should I face up to like the semi-reclusive hermit I am?” conversation.

(The chicken, of course, does not give a shit either way, although it does shit all over Geoff’s shoes. Which, you know, is why he doesn’t want them wandering around his house no matter how much he loves the little fuckers.)

Geoff looking at Ryan the next time he shows up - probably to help Geoff with his chickens and wow, it really is weird that the guy would come over to help him build all the coops/whatever, isn’t it? (Damn nice sight though, because muscles and such.)

Geoff’s just like, “A healthy relationship cannot be built on a foundation of lies, Ryan.”

Completely deadpan, and Ryan’s like _???_ and then _!!!_ before Geoff is all, “Fuck it,” and then there is kissing. 

And building of chicken coops, which, oddly, is not a euphemism for sexytimes, what the fuck, Ryan? Why would that even be a thing???

* * *

[Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/180400124606/my-grocery-store-carries-ryans-apple-cider-and)

 

My grocery store carries Ryans Apple Cider and ever time I see it I think about that Ramwood AU where Geoff is like fuck it and heads off to a become the gruff hermit/author he’s always dreamed of being and mistakes Ryan for the Amazon Prime guy?

Only now Ryan bought an old apple orchard that he fixes up and now has Too Many Apples. Clearly the only solution is to peddle fresh apple cider and various apple-related products about town like a madman.

When there’s a fall festival-thing in which he gets a horse and cart from somewhere and dresses in old-timey clothes because of course he does. And with those stills from the saw mill episode of Achievement Haunters he hires the street urchins to help draw in the crowds. (“Swear to God, Ryan, if you call us that one more fucking time I will shove this apple where sun doesn’t shine.”)

Geoff trying Very Hard not to laugh at Ryan and his street urchins who look ready to mutiny on him, but the cider’s too good. (They get paid in cider, which is super yum. Totally not like his first batch, which the town still talks about to this day.)

And Ryan is like “Geoff, why?” :(((((((((((((((((((

Geoff hanging out with Ryan while the others go check out the booths and whatnot and it’s Totally Not A Date.


	24. Mistaken Identity (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170635119771/okay-but-like-word-gets-out-that-the-fakes-are)

Okay, but like word gets out that the Fakes are trying to find this clever little shit who’s been stirring up trouble in their territory, right? People hear they’re looking for someone who’s a fast-talker, dark haired, skinny fuck and on the tall-ish side (Trevor, it’s totally Trevor).

After weeks and weeks one of their allies drags someone in who definitely matches the descriptions, right?

“Uh...”

“That’s - “

“I mean, the resemblance is uncanny, really.”

“Ehhh, close enough.”

And that’s how Alfredo joins the crew???


	25. Prompt fill: Hitman AU (Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170811705751/how-about-hitman-au-highly-skilled-hitman-gavin)

Oh my God, okay, this is wonderful?

Like.

I don’t know the Hitman games beyond the basics, so this is general Agency-ish AU-ville, but!

Gavin has been doing this for a while, right? He’s got his quirks and the like, but when it comes down to it he’s (mostly) all business. Has been trained to get in, get the job done and get out without being seen and all that.

And then in come these two new agents, right? Americans, of course, sent to Gavin’s agency for training or inter-agency relations, something. It’s all irrelevant to Gavin, until they tell him he’s going to be working with them.

The agency wants to show Ryan and Jeremy how they do things, and of course that means working alongside their best agent -

“That’s not what you said after my last mission, now is it?”

_“Gavin.”_

And honestly Gavin isn’t expecting much, you know? This has happened before, other agencies sending their people over hoping to catch them at doing something wrong (as if any of them are so innocent when it comes down to it). Try to knock them down a bit, strip them of some of the power they’ve worked hard to earn over the years.

Thinks it’s just another stunt like that, and at first it looks like that may be true, because these two agents?

Ryan Haywood who has a charming smile, hint of an accent playing around his words at times. (This edge to his smiles every so often that belie what his files say about him. Some average enough agent with a suspiciously bland case files behind him. A little too neat, ordered. Too perfect, and that makes Gavin side-eye him a bit. Has Ryan smiling back, teeth to it and oh, this is going to be interesting after all, isn’t it?)

Jeremy Dooley’s a few years younger than Gavin and _friendly_. Bright smiles and easy-going laugh. The kind of person who draws your attention – not exactly ideal, given what Gavin’s meant to be training them for while they’re here - _but_.

There’s the way his smile flips just so, friendly and open to the kind of thing you wouldn’t want to find yourself on the other end of. This glint to his eyes, and the easy way he handles the weapons Gavin finds him nearly cooing over down by the shooting range.

A bit of a sniper, talented and just this side of cocky about when Gavin makes note of it.

Gavin watches them, Ryan with his uneventful career who’s been chosen for this odd little exchange program and Jeremy this bright-eyed rookie agent with his everything.

It doesn’t take long for Gavin to realize the two of them have been shuffled around for a bit, that Jeremy ended up thrown together with Ryan at the beginning of whatever this is. Have taken to calling each other Battle Buddies, and oh, good lord, that’s not a good sign, you know?

He despairs of the two of them when he walks them through training scenario after training scenario even though he’s not-so-reluctantly amused with their antics. 

(May tweak the scenarios a bit as time goes on and he starts to get the way they work. Toss in complications that they can either toss more explosives at or take a stealth route just to see what they’ll choose – knows it’s almost always going to be the one that goes boom and so on.)

Shrugs helplessly when his fellow agents side-eye him after a training exercise. Playing poor faceless victims covered in paint from the proximity explosive Ryan and Jeremy both insisted on tossing into the crowd as a distraction. (Killed their target with more than once before making a break for it, laughing breathlessly over the comms and obviously idiots.)

They work well together, some merit to the whole ‘Battle Buddies’ thing, and when they do buckle down and take things a bit more seriously they’re extremely effective. (Still idiots, since they tend to get sidetracked more often than not. Curious about the agency’s various gadgets and whatnot and these little training exercises are a safe enough way to test them out, no?)

They seem to warm up to him too as he directs them on these training exercises, voice in their ears over the comms. Joke and banter and Gavin is a professional – has to be – but he’s still _human_.

Not as cold and heartless as his mission reports may lead some to believe – he’s good at what he does, one of the best at the agency and all – but he doesn’t put everything in his reports, now does he.

And Ryan and Jeremy are funny and charming and that’s almost enough for Gavin to forget the whole bit where they’re not what they say they are, but that’s neither here nor there. (Human, remember, and the agency isn’t quite as cold, clinical as they make themselves out to be either, but _shhh_. That’s a secret.)

A month or so into this thing when they’ve stopped being so careful around each other (there’s a bit of the whole I-know-you-know-I know-something bit, but the edges are softer, more of a friendly rivalry thing going on) and the agency hands them an actual mission.

Low enough stakes that the agency feels it’s safe to put the three of them on it – a experienced agent like Gavin and for all intents and purposes his rookies – and they realize very quickly it’s not as easy a mission as everyone expected after all!

Close calls where all three of them almost get killed, get cut off from the agency and declared rogue agents and it’s revealed Ryan and Jeremy are indeed Very Special Agents. That they’ve been tasked to track down this ~evil organization who’ve been methodically taking out top agents around the world and such and oh, hey, what do you know, Gavin’s on the list?

And then that bit with the distrust and more close calls in which they save each other’s lives several times over and realize they’re all on the same side in this, right?

More close calls and bad decisions and last minute saves as they take out the ~evil organization ~~and save the world~~.

That awkward _well what now?_ moment when everything’s said and done and the three of them realize they’ve forgotten how to be professionals after all, gone and developed ~feelings.

(And okay, okay, there was a hint of things between Ryan and Jeremy before this, but then you throw Gavin into things and everything just falls into place?)

But ~no, they cannot do the Feelings Thing because professionals and all, and so you get Ryan and Jeremy going back to whatever agency set them on this whole mess of a mission in the first place and Gavin going back to his own missions.

Gavin finding himself missing the idiots who had terrible impulse control and whatnot but still somehow managed to get the job done. (Creatively and resourcefully, and goodness, that’s a lot of property damage, isn’t it?)

(Misses Ryan’s stupid laugh and twisted sense of humor, Jeremy’s awful jokes and puns and the way he’d manage to slide those terrible website puns of his through to their tech gadgets and whatnot during missions - _how_ \- and really, he hadn’t noticed how routine his missions were before then when he gets back to them. Finds himself hesitating when faced with taking a path where things go boom or being ~stealth when the agency wants him to demonstrate his training to another batch of newbies.)

Gets looks of concern from fellow agents and shrugs it off because they’ve got work to do, yes?

One day when he’s been told to head down to the training course to oversee a new batch of newbie agents hears yelling and screaming and the sound of explosives and thinks, _surely not?_ because there’s a certain chaotic energy to it that’s oh so familiar.

And when he makes his way to where the screaming seems to be taking place he discovers the Battle Buddies are terrorizing the newbie agents and Gavin is like _what????_

There’s the whole explanation where seeing as the three of them made such an effective team ~~in saving the world~~ their agencies decided it would most beneficial if they were to continue working together for the foreseeable future.

Gavin staring at his idiots who are liberally covered in paint and bits of the training course and looking like utter lunatics. Big dumb smiles and all and _there_ , and _oh_. (So that’s why.)

….And then happily ever afters as the three of them continue to save the world and whatnot.


	26. Prompt fill: Scene from Break the Chains AU (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!Fic prompt fill for miss-ingno.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170817135956/i-am-really-in-a-ryack-or-ryan-jack-mood)

Okay, okay, okay, I’m in an [Agency-AU](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/tagged/break-the-chains) mood at the moment, so!

Let’s say it’s the aftermath of the mission where Ryan gets shot that leads into [Continents](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/164908915701/continents-11), right?

Ryan told the Lads to go home hours ago even though technically he shouldn’t have come in himself, because he’s on the injured list, but!

He knows the higher ups are all abustle about the mission – technically a success, but only just and one more reason for them to break the Lads up, break up his team, and that’s only going to end in disaster for everyone involved, SO.

He’s been staring at his computer for who knows how long, shoulder hurting like a bitch but can’t be bothered to take a painkiller and he has no idea how the hell he’s going to salvage this mess, right?

Not just the mission but the Lads, his team and goddamn Geoff for this.

Because they were starting to warm up to the idea of him as their team leader, starting to trust him and then things turned to shit on them so damn fast.

And he’s injured, they’re freaked out and trying not to show it and the higher ups are fucking rubbing their hands together and barely biting back their ‘I told you so’s’ to Geoff and Jack and Ryan and his head hurts.

Which is when there’s a knock at his door, and when he looks up there’s Jack.

“The hell are you still doing here, Jack?”

Jack rolls his eyes because pot, meet kettle, and walks in. Settles himself at the chair across from Ryan and just looks at him for a bit. Makes a face and cocks his head, like he has no damn idea what he’s even looking at, and that -

“What?”

Jack shrugging and pulling out his phone, starts playing some dumb game, sound up obnoxiously high and the most gratingly cheerful music known to man playing. Sounds of tiny explosions or whatever and Ryan’s eye starts twitching because what the actual fuck?

But Jack ignores him, settles in all nice and comfy. Maybe chuckles at whatever is going on in that stupid game of his a time or two, and Ryan -

He lets it go for another minute, two top before he snaps.

“Jesus Christ, what do you want, Jack?”

And Jack, the asshole.

Just looks up at Ryan like he has no idea what’s bothering him. All shocked that Ryan’s being _snippy_.

Ryan just looks at Jack because they’ve known each other for a long time and he stopped falling for that years ago.

“Jack.“

Jack snorts, sets his phone aside and leans forward like he’s about to impart some great wisdom on Ryan as he says, “You’re an idiot.”

Ryan’s perfectly aware of that, yes.

“You’re overthinking it,” Jack says, and gestures for Ryan’s laptop.

After a moment of deliberation, Ryan pushes it over to him. Watches Jack read over what Ryan’s written, making thinking noises and judging noises and making Ryan rethink the whole thing -

“Okay, first of all,” Jack says, and deletes everything Ryan’s written, ignoring Ryan’s protests as he starts typing. “Second of all, shut up and take a painkiller you stupid fuck.”

Ryan gears up to tell Jack to go fuck himself, because seriously, he spent hours on that damn report, but -

“Ryan,” Jack says, soft, concerned. “You’re bleeding.”

Ryan looks down, realizes he popped a stitch somewhere along the way and didn’t notice. Blood spotting through, and it’s not eve a shirt he cares about other than to see if it’s clean or not, but that’s the thing that just.

“What am I going to do with those assholes?” he asks, so fucking tired.

It’s exhausting and heartbreaking working with them, trying to show them that he’s not the enemy here, but for every step forward there’s two back (more it seems sometimes) and he’s starting to think Geoff was wrong -

“You’re going to let me fix that up for you, and then you’re going home to get some fucking sleep,” Jack says, reasonably enough except for the tone in his voice.

The reason no one’s been able to stick a knife in Geoff’s back all these years navigating the agency’s politics and such.

“And then we’ll figure something out together. Later.”

Ryan wants to protest, but he knows Jack’s right. Usually is (except when he isn’t, and oh how glorious those moments are for Ryan) and now is no different.

Ryan lets Jack poke and prod him, lets Jack bully him out of the building and drive him home because like hell is Ryan in any shape to drive himself.

Pauses beside Jack’s car when they get to Ryan’s place, quaint little house he bought a few years back and leans down to see Jack watching him with a half-smile on his face.

“You’re still an asshole, Jack.”

The half-smile twitches into a smirk

“I could say the same,” Jack answers, because he’s Jack and this is just how it is with them sometimes. “Get some sleep, idiot. We’ll figure things out in the morning.”

And then you know, that whole bit where Ryan drags the Lads out for a “training exercise” to appease the higher ups and give his team time to wind down from that shitty mission.


	27. Prompt fill: Hitmen in the FAHC AU (Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for Anon.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170885564901/ok-consider-fahc-except-ryan-jeremy-and-gavin)

Oh my God, I love it? 

So let's say they worked for an agency way back when that tarted out with good intentions – well, the sort that would have taken the scenic route to hell instead of the express route it ended up taking by the time they left.

They were actually doing good, if that's what you want to call it. Doing the dirty work no one wants to admits happens sometimes because that's how it is, you know?

But as time went by things started...slipping, people were brought in who saw the teams under them as weapons and not much else. Who realized they could shape the world how they saw fit, just point one of those teams at any obstacle in their way and pull the trigger, so to speak.

Over time some of those weapons ended up broken, sent on missions with bad intel or insufficient agency resources, and they notice a pattern after a while.

Or, not a pattern so much as the fact that several senior agents and their teams – the ones who were with the old guard and didn't approve of the way things were changing – were the ones who didn't make it back.

Realize how far the agency's been corrupted when some of their own missions go south on them, almost get one or more of them killed, and that's when they decide to leave. (Maybe set things in motion to bring the whole damn agency down behind them when they go, sensitive documents and whatnot making it into the right hands to bring what's left of the agency into the light. Give it enough time, send warnings to people not involved in the corruption that let them get away before the authorities break things wide open.)

And then it's a matter of faking their deaths/creating new identities and disappearing. Go their own ways for a bit until things cool down, the ones behind the agency's corruption stop looking for dead men.

Gavin ends up in Los Santos by way of the Roosters. 

Gets picked up when he gets reckless, maybe has a drink too many one night when he's playing with their systems and they track him down. Are so damned impressed with this kid and offer him a deal. Work for them, and they let him live, because they're reasonable, you know? Appreciate someone with skill like his and who knows, they could help him get better if he signs on. 

Gavin trying so hard not to break down laughing the whole time, because if they only knew, and takes their deal because there's something about Burnie he likes. (And honestly, his experience with the end of the agency he worked for has kind of soured him on being on the right side of the law – and honestly, he's not really sure he ever really was.)

After a while he runs into Geoff and Jack and hey, the Roosters are great and all, but it's a little too close to his old stomping grounds and Los Santos is far, far away. Another fresh start and he worries, a little, about Geoff and his grand plans for that city. Poor Jack who always has Geoff's back but is the kind of asshole – stubborn, mulish at times when he's in the right sort of mood – who makes Gavin worry just as much. (Gavin's worked in Los Santos once or twice before, knows what Geoff's headed into there.)

And then comes Michael and Ray and so many others and it's great, and then Geoff starts talking about hiring this guy. Someone who had quite the reputation, scary bastard that had half the city running scared. 

Geoff puts Gavin on tracking this guy down, and Gavin almost dies from laughter when he starts looking into things because by now he'd know Ryan anywhere,okay?

Grabs himself some popcorn when he watches old surveillance video footage and whatever else he can get his hands on of Ryan as this ridiculous 'Vagabond' character. (Clucks his tongue and shakes his head because Ryan's either gotten sloppy, doesn't care, or – most likely - thinks letting footage of the Vagabond in action out is a good idea. Free advertising for his services and a warning to anyone who'd think of going after him, both are likely.)

He stalls a bit, claims finding the creepy bastard is harder than it looks and when the Fakes aren't looking goes out to meet with Ryan.

Sends him a message, sneaks down to some dark little spot and waits. Waits and waits and waits and just when he think Ryan's not going to show, is still as paranoid as ever he realizes he's been had.

Looks down and there's a little red dot over his heart, and his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. 

Gavin smiles, crooked little thing as he – slowly, slowly – reaches for it and answers. 

“Hi, Ryan.”

After a long, long moment there's a quiet laugh, and Ryan's amused little, “Hi, Gavin.”

Gavin rolling his eyes as he looks up to where Ryan's hidden – sees the idiot _waving_ at him, and hangs up his phone to make his way up there.

Ryan grinning at him when he does, lets pull the skull mask off and laughs at the annoyed look on his face when he's greeted with the face paint. Smile going soft on him when Gavin traces the lines of the face paint because it's been a long, long time.

Bickering and banter and Gavin telling Ryan that the Fakes are looking to hire him, see if he wants to join the crew if things should work out, and Ryan - 

Cocks his head and looks at Gavin.

Little bit older, still tired, but there's a different edge to it this time around. Not the thing that was weighing him down when the three of them realized how bad things had gotten. 

Just.

Gavin who gets wrapped in whatever job, project he's working on at the time and forgetting things like sleep and food and being a normal functioning human being. Laugh lines and an easy smile, this fondness to it when he talks about the Fakes. 

“I'll think about it,” he says, like they bot don't know what he's going to do. 

(It's been a long, long time.)

So the Vagabond ends up joining the Fake AH Crew and everyone notices right away that he and Gavin get along surprisingly well, which is a relief because they were sure he'd end up murderizing Gavin at some point. 

But no.

And then, you know. 

Regret sets in real fast when they realize the two of them are fucking idiots who don't seem to realize how head over heels they are for each other? 

Because HOW, really, given the way they fret and fuss over one another when one of them gets hurt. This weird intensity to it that worries everyone else because it was just a graze or a shallow cut or some other minor thing, but they freak the hell out and it's actually kind of terrifying how much they love each other. (Makes the crew wonder what they'd do for each other, you know? How far they'd go.)

A year or so goes by and Gavin and Ryan are just as clueless as ever and when Ray makes noises about free-lancing again, he recommends someone they can call on when the crew needs a sniper.

Not as talented as him, of course, but a hell of a lot better than Gavin - “Hey!” or Ryan “...You're probably not wrong.” - and in comes this odd little man in this horrible color combination and even worse cowboy hat and this cocky little smirk.

The crew loves him, of course, because who wouldn't?

Don't really notice the way Gavin and Ryan are like _sweet Jesus, why_ whenever they're face-to-face with this abomination Jeremy's created.

Find out Jeremy had to burn the identity Gavin set him up with early on. Had to come up with a new one on the spot when a job went wrong on him and ended up with fucking Rimmy Tim.

The crew thinks they just don't like Jeremy, the way they try to stay away from him. 

Gavin and Ryan realize they fucked up when Ryan joined the Fakes, but thank God the others just thought it was them being hopelessly clueless. (Jeremy fucking dying of laughter when they tell him, because they totally were, back when they were with the agency. Didn't admit to anything until the end, the three of them saying their goodbyes and that one bittersweet kiss before they all went their own way and thinking they wouldn't see each other ever again, because it's for the best. Have to protect each other and this is the Only Way and all.)

So they try like hell to do a better job this time around, but end up overcompensating and the crew gets tired of it. Send the three of them off on jobs together to force them to get along and never realizing that's not really necessary?

But hey, great opportunity for the three of them to navigate this second chance they have and if they get hassled when one of the Fakes spots a hickey when they “finally get their shit together” it's a small enough price.

Happy funtimes for a while, and then!

Something goes wrong.

The baddies responsible for the corruption at the agency catches up to them and the Fakes get caught in the crossfire. Geoff and the others getting caught and the three of them about to go to war for them, knowing they're likely to get killed in the process but damned if they aren't going to try -

And the Good Guys who tore the agency down before pops up on the baddies' trail, and the three of them make a deal, because it's pretty damn obvious the Good Guys aren't prepared for this fight. Have the resources Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy need to be successful, so why not join forces for this?

They'll have these so-called good guys bring the baddies down if they leave the Fakes out of it. Don't turn them in at the end of things, because hey, the three of them are pretty shiny alternatives, yeah? 

Three of the agency's top agents on a fucking platter, and all they have to do is pretend they never say these insignificant criminals, and they agree.

Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy gearing up and going after the baddies the way they used to way back when. Slip into old habits they've all tried so hard to leave behind because they're not those people anymore. Can't be, if they want to protect the others, but this one time it's okay.

Thy cut the baddies down one by one, cold and efficient and utterly terrifying and act like they don't see the way the rest of the Fakes are watching them – as they get them out of wherever the baddies were holding them.

Good Guy swarming all over and this brief window of time to get everyone out and somewhere safe before the local law enforcement show up.

Don't really answer Geoff's questions, demands for them to explain what the hell is going on – oh, the baddies definitely monologued at them before they were rescued. Cursing Gavin and Ryan and Jeremy and talking about revenge and blahblahblah, _what the actual fuck you assholes???_

Just tell him they'll explain later, and hand Geoff and the others off to B Team and slip away while Trevor and Lindsay are fussing over them.

They have a little time before the Good Guys come calling, complete the deal they made and they plan to use it well. Start setting things in motion because of course they don't trust the Good Guys, not with something so important – have plans in place in case they try to fuck them over. Things to protect the Fakes, tear the Good Guys down even if they can't do it themselves because they've found something worth protecting here and -

“It's later, you fucks. Start talking.”

But there's Geoff, and Michael, and Jack, tracking them down to a safehouse they shouldn't have known about, but do anyway.

And the three of them are tired of this, of hiding, and hey. They probably won't need to after this, right? (That deal and all.)

So.

They start talking, take it in turns to explain everything.

Their time with the agency, slow realization that it was rotting away and the way they all but burned it to the ground before leaving. Somehow all three of them ending up criminals (still bemused at that one because really, what are the odds? “You were fucking hitmen, what, were you planning to get an office job?”) and the stupid sitcom shenanigans of the three of them acting like they didn't know each other. 

Geoff asking why the fuck none of them ever mentioned being a fucking hitman – because okay yes, he gets them pretending like they didn't know each other, but come on. ONE of them could have mentioned the hitman thing, right?

“...You never asked?”

Geoff being apoplectic because why the fuck would he have asked? He's not psychic! None of them submitted a fucking resume! Maybe tell him so he can take that into account and all while planning jobs and heists and the like???

Like hey, a hacker as good as Gavin is great. Ryan's pretty much the same, and Jeremy's only slightly more terrifying, but you know what would be even better? A hacker as good as Gavin who is also an awesome hitman, and Ryan and Jeremy who are just a million times better at killing the hell out of people, but whatever? NOT LIKE IT MATTERS ANYMORE ASSHOLES, THANKS.

And then they get to recent events and just...stumble.

Because the deal they'd made for these idiots who are like family to them and -

“Yeah, Lindsay and Trevor are cleaning that clusterfuck up for you three,” Geoff says.

Angry, but for a different reason because _these fucking assholes_.

Goddamn idiots, making devil's deals and thinking it's all fine and he's so fucking angry there are no words? Just sputtering and angry hand gestures and Michael rolls his eyes and takes over.

Tells them that hey, the Fake AH Crew aren't exactly some stupid street gang, you know? And even if they were, the fucking Roosters wouldn't let the baddies win here.

So.

Fucking forget whatever deal they made, and stop looking so damn surprised about things. Like they'd just let Gavin and his idiot boyfriends turn them over like that? 

Just like. 

A lot of yelling on both sides until Lindsay and Trevor step in and explain – using small words – Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy are all insanely stupid, but they all love them anyway. Also, no need to worry about the Good Guys because they took care of everything. Made it known that all kinds of ugly little secrets might exposed if they so much as touched any of them, so maybe kindly back the fuck off????

And the Good Guys do, because it would be more trouble than it's worth to insist on bring Gavin and the others in, and really. They got what they wanted anyway, with the baddies either dead or in custody and those three agents who went missing years ago are most likely dead by now. Taken out by the baddies or old enemies, who can say.

Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy going back with the rest of the crew and waiting, waiting, waiting for all the secrets they kept from their family all these years to come back to bite them in the ass. Waiting for the crew to tell them they can't reconcile things and maybe they should leave?

But they don't.

(Of course they don't.)

There's a while where everything is awkward while they all try to figure out how they fit together now. Realizing at random moments that Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy are far more terrifying than previously thought, and that's a bit alarming, really.

But then one of them does something so amazing stupid to remind them that they're still their idiots. Still the morons they know and love and things get back to normal-ish. 

Except, you know.

Now the Fakes realize they have three incredibly deadly hitmen working for them, Geoff fully intends to put that newfound knowledge to work for them. Make sure anyone hoping to fuck with the Fakes learn what an extremely bad idea that would be, how badly they're going to regret it when he sets Gavin and the others on them.


	28. Beleaguered devil/demon Geoff (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/170914141866/this-is-clearly-beleaguered-devildemon-geoff)

[This is clearly beleaguered devil/demon Geoff](http://one-time-i-dreamt.tumblr.com/post/169558090761/i-was-drawing-a-bunch-of-pentagrams-in-my-notebook) \- who through some improbable series of events has been summoned made a contract with one of the others.

He’s off presumably doing something suitably ~evil somewhere. (In reality he’s watching trashy daytime television or catching up his Netflix queue. Maybe playing video games, who knows.)

And then whatever asshole summoned him/made a contract with him starts doodling mindlessly while in a mind-numbing meeting or whatever and it’s like getting a million texts that are one letter at a time or fucking Navi yelling at him to listen, what the actual fuck???


	29. Trevorzade (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/171292907561/okay-but-trevor-with-his-fancy-scientist-degree)

Okay, but.

Trevor with his fancy scientist degree getting nabbed by one of the Fakes to settle an argument certain people have been having (GAVIN AND RYAN) that’s driving everyone else crazy?

And at first he’s like, “Welp, guess this is it?” but then when they lay out both sides of the argument he just makes things worse. It turns into a Scheherazade-type thing where he keeps things rolling for no reason other than they grabbed him before he got his morning coffee and by God is he going to make them sorry for it. >:|||||

Or, you know, something? Because no coffee and annoyed and they were very clear about not killing him from the start because one of the B Team guys said they knew him and it’s this whole Thing, but that’s neither here nor there. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

(And then at some later point it’s no surprise to anyone when Lindsay and Trevor are the ones running things because they’re both chaotic geniuses and everyone’s at least a little terrified of them, idk, it’s been a long day and just the idea of Trevor fucking with the others for funsies makes me happy???)

 

[Part 2: ](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/171293259971/miss-ingno-replied-to-your-post)

 

God, just imagine Jeremy mentioning he knows a guy to Lindsay who lets that info slip to Michael or Geoff and suddenly they do the unmarked van screeching to a stop next to the coffee stand. See this scrawny guy with the messy hair and scuffed up shoes and worn hoodie. (Because let’s face it, newly graduated Trevor without a lot of money to his name running out for coffee first thing in the morning before working on job applications, am I right?)

And none of them stop to wonder how the hell Jeremy even knows the guy because they’re more focused on making the goddamned arguing _stop_.

Trevor being all charming at them because hey, it would be nice not to be horribly murderized? 

Also, Trevor and Jeremy having that awkward moment when they leave him to watch their kidnap victim to grab Gavin and Ryan where Jeremy is like “I’m so, so sorry, Trevor. Seriously, I didn’t think they’d go this far.” 

Trevor having no idea what that even means until the others get back and he finds out why he’s at the penthouse, AND THEN. >:||||||||||

(Jeremy just watching the trainwreck unfold and shaking his head sadly in the background because the others just don’t know what they’re in for here.)


	30. Prompt fill: Trevor's Adventures in Pickpocketing (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Not!fic prompt fill for miss-ingno](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/171403736631/miss-ingno-asked-for-trevor-pickpockets-some)

miss-ingno asked for “Trevor pickpockets some fancy suit guy and ends up in a police lineup but the target picks Alfredo (who is all “aw man, but i didn’t do anything, this is racist, y'all”) so now Trevor has to figure out how to bail Alfredo out”

Set before Trevor joins the Fake AH Crew because reasons.

Like, Trevor doesn’t even do it on purpose, right? It’s just reflex see irresistible target, do thing, ???, profit.

Only this guy turns out to be someone important and oh would you look at that? The cops are here.

So Trevor runs, does some parkour (whispering it to himself as he vaults over exhaust vents and ducks someone’s clothing line. Makes the (still terrifying) leap from rooftop to rooftop, because Jeremy’s a bad influence and this shouldn’t be as fun as it is, but eh, why not, right?

But then he runs out of luck, hits a dead end the this guy must really be important because the cops are still on his tail. Rough him up a bit getting him into the squad car and down to the station but not as much as they clearly want to because Trevor managed to draw a bit of an audience with his last few stunts.

People recording things on their phones to put up on social media later probably, maybe sell to the news networks if someone’s interested, whatever.

Trevor makes sure to blow a kiss to his adoring fans – or as close to one as he can as he gets carted away.

Doesn’t really expect the lineup, but maybe they’re going by the book or something today, who knows. He’s a little offended at the people they’ve pulled in for the lineup, ugly bastards for the most part – and then he ears a familiar voice.

Protesting his innocence and demanding his lawyer all in one breath and he can’t help the faint smile when a uniformed police officer all but drags Alfredo into the room. Looks a little mussed up but not in _distress_ , which is nice.

They’re not friends so much as acquaintances, people who tend to run in the same circles a lot of the time.

And, look, Trevor and Alfred have a running joke going about them being brothers, twins, but anyone wit two brain cells to rub together would know it for the lie it is. (Should, but no, no, because everyone in Los Santos is either an idiot or insane, and in special circumstances both.)

They can’t see the oh-so-important be-suited man through the glass, but Trevor’s been in this position enough times to know how this works. Waits to be called to step forward and put through his paces, so to speak – but that never happens, no.

Alfredo’s the one to get called up, throwing a quick look to Trevor as he does -

And suddenly it’s Alfredo being asked to turn to his right, his left, sketch a little bow with a flourish because Trevor had been feeling playful earlier. Made a mistake because he made an impression on Mr. Suit.

Only the man’s too stupid to have notice one very important detail – Trevor happens to be very, very white. Incredibly so, really. ( _Blindingly_ so, as Alfredo’s said in the past, shit eating grin on his face.)

And Alfredo must realize what’s going on, if the next look he sends to Trevor is any indication. Something along the lines of _What the fuck did you do you to this guy?_

Trevor listens to Alfredo’s “Aw man, but i didn’t do anything, this is racist, y'all!” as he’s pulled from the room, attention on Mr Suit who is inexplicably staring right at him, eyebrow raised as if asking Trevor what his next move is, which, rude.

As soon as Trevor’s released or what have you he does some Very Serious Thinking.

Because Mr. Suit with the nice, expensive watch and lovely fitted suit and…it was a set up? 

_It was a set up._

Cue montage in which Trevor goes looking for information on Mr. Suit, visits informants and such. Calls in favors and chats with some of Alfredo’s little friends.

Gets into a scrape or two that he get out of with fast talking and charm (careful application of the gun he carries when that’s not enough, maybe shows what he can do with a knife when properly motivated, not just a pretty face, Trevor).

He takes all the bits of information he’s gathered and pieces it all together. Ends up cornering Jeremy, all smiles and “Oh, fancy meeting you here! In this dark alley and all!”

Jeremy has no idea what’s going on, but as Trevor explains, describes Mr. Suit -

“Oh, goddamn it,” he mutters, hand rubbing at is eyes, looking very much the image of an exhausted man. “It was the Vagabond.”

Trevor -

“What?”

“The Vagabond,” Jeremy says, looking over his shoulder as though that’s going to conjure the man up. “He said Geoff had him working on a job.”

Trevor stares at Jeremy, who squints up at him, like this is all Trevor’s fault.

“The hell did you do?”

Okay, that’s twice now people have accused Trevor of being to blame for this whole mess – and while that may be technically true -

“Nothing? Probably?”

And then Jeremy brings Trevor back to the penthouse where Ryan in his Very Nice Suit is waiting with Geoff, and Alfredo?

Ryan and Geoff are indeed Very Smug, Alfred is just Confused with a healthy bit of Annoyed.

And then Geoff starts talking, says he’s been looking for a way to talk to Trevor for some time now. Has heard about his exploits around the city, things Jeremy’s mentioned here and there that got him all interested, but Trevor.

Trevor’s a hard man to find. Slippery little bastard who takes a lot of risks for someone in his position, and somehow always comes out of things on top? Fair amount of enemies – rare not to have those in this city – but even more allies. People who like him, trust him for what it’s worth – and that’s useful.

So -

“I have a phone,” Trevor says, glancing at Alfredo who’s just been sitting and watching things quietly. “Jeremy knows my number. This all seems a bit…overkill?”

Geoff laughing and Ryan looking a bit exasperated because that’s pretty much the Fake AH Crew’s MO?

Trevor telling them he’ll think about their offer, grabs Alfredo and gets the hell out.

Hides out for a day or two even though he knows it’s pointless by now. And then heads to the penthouse.

Ignores the little smirk on the Vagabond’s face when he lets him in. The apologetic look Jeremy gives him and sits down across from Geoff and that desk of his.

They just look at each other for a long moment, and then Trevor rolls his eyes.

“I have conditions,” he says, thinking of people like Alfredo who get pulled into these little games the Fakes play sometimes.

Small fry to the Fakes, sure, but Trevor’s used to thinking of him as one of his, and so -

Geoff smiles, “Thought you might,” he says, and they send almost an hour hashing out some for of arrangement for Trevor joining the crew.

Part of the deal is Alfredo working with the crew as well, which is great because they’ve been trying to get him on board for a while not too? But dear God the look on people’s faces when Trevor and Alfredo meet with them and the two of them insist they’re twins.

Or the thing where Alfredo pretends to be Trevor and vice versa when one or the other is unavailable and no one in the Fake AH Crew bats an eye over any of it. Act like the people giving them odd looks are the crazy ones, clearly that’s Trevor and not the Diaz kid and vice versa, are you stupid?


	31. The one with the Cow (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/171577708601/oh-my-god-after-seeing-this-i-dont-know-which)

Oh my God, [after seeing this](http://enigmog.tumblr.com/post/171571020106/fermentedpiss2-this-is-the-cow-of-death-reblog) I don’t know which scenario I like better?

Like, Dark God Ryan appears to Simple Geoff in a vision to deliver a ~dire warning about the fate of the world because he’s meant to play in important role in it or something – either aid the heroes in their quest or he is the hero. (That whole bit where the ~higher being appears to you as something you find familiar/reassuring/¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ )

And if Simple Geoff _is_ the hero, he runs across Dark God Ryan as this cow that accompanies him on his Quest To Save The World, and becomes fond of Simple Geoff. Visits him on his farm from time to time like this to the amusement of his fellow gods.

Or, you know.

There’s also the Kings AU version of _The Emperor’s New Groove_ with Simple Geoff and King Ryan and idk, but I cannot stop laughing?

ALSO.

That- FAHC scenario wherein a heist goes badly, Geoff’s car goes into the water during the getaway and is presumed dead. Which, no, he washes up on shore somewhere down the river and has Convenient Amnesia and is taken in by some kindly people. (And then somehow ends up running a farm because reasons? IDK, just let me have this)

Starts up a farm where he ends up adopting this cow with a skull on its face because there’s something familiar about it? He’s forever talking to the cow as he goes about his chores and whatnot and it makes noises like it’s talking back or grumbling about who knows what and he loves it so?

Ends up rescuing this scarred up dog that snaps and snarls and tries to bite him at the beginning and slowly begins to trust him. Goes all protective over the pair of cats that just show up one day. 

Not the brightest the way they get into trouble all the damn time – idiots, really, but if anyone or anything looks like it’s going to hassle them hes right there. (Let’s them climb all over him, play-fight with him and the three of them fall asleep together.)

And then this stray just wanders in one day. Scrappy little dog – some kind of terrier in him, small and down to fight anything, anytime.

The red hen that wanders onto his property one day and doesn’t leave? No one comes looking for her and he gives up trying to find whoever she belongs to after making a few inquiries.

There’s this pair of crows? Magpies? That loiter around the farm, pestering the animals and Geoff in turns and he knows they’re different species or something but out of the corner of his eye they look like they could be twins, you know?

And on and on as he surrounds himself (finds himself) surrounded by the animal versions of his crew without realizing it? Just knows there’s something very reassuring about having them around, even though he can’t help but feel something’s not quite right?

(The others are back in Los Santos reassessing just how much longer they want to stay in the game without Geoff there. Consider just how much longer they can beat the odds stacked against them, and wonder if they shouldn’t retire?)

And then somehow the Fakes discover Geoff’s still alive, that he’s some kind of weird Disney Princess out here with his animal rescues and whatnot and what the actual fuck is going on?

Perhaps some shenanigans in which they try to pull one last heist before going their own ways and shit goes wrong, they end up holing up in this little town somewhere outside of Los Santos and see Geoff wandering around?

~Drama, and them going to his farm and meeting their furry doppelgangers and are like _???_ and _!!!_ and then idk, more shenanigans in which Geoff’s Convenient Amnesia clears up and the Fakes fake their deaths and move out to Geoff’s farm or something, I don’t know.

OR, for the angst free version, the Fakes retire and Geoff starts a farm somewhere. Eventually the others trickle in as they make their exit from the criminal lifestyle and watch as Geoff collects their animal doppelgangers. 

Wondering if he’s doing it on purpose or not, reactions varying from disbelief to amusement and just Ryan staring down cow!Ryan who is Very Unimpressed with him.

Lindsay and Gavin losing their damn minds over the cats, and their doggy bodyguard leaning against Michael watching the four of them with fond exasperation.

Jeremy with the little terrier mix bouncing along at his heels and Trevor and Alfredo plotting/scheming with the crows/magpies/¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ for shenanigans.


	32. The Twins to the Rescue (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/171986337501/okay-but-the-fakes-are-in-a-tight-corner)

Okay, but.

The Fakes are in a tight corner somewhere, outnumbered and outgunned and this is it, ends of the road an all?

And then they hear the sounds of a vaguely familiar song – everyone’s heard it even if they don’t know what it’s called – and a chopper swoops in from out of the blue.

Clearly stolen because those are military markings - “Hoo, boy! Zancudo is buzzin’ right now, let me tell you what,boys,” - Alfredo hanging out the side door in a harness as Trevor swings the chopper around pretty as you please to give him the best angle on the assholes bothering their crew.

This little moment of realization before it around and suddenly the baddies are running for cover as he starts bipping people, goddamned Ride of the Valkyries blaring.

Because, you know, reasons.

Also, the Fake AH Crew logo sloppily painted on the nose of the chopper, still wet and streaking towards the tail of the chopper because they had the teensy window of opportunity before anyone realized what was going on, and you don’t _not_ do the thing, right? Have to let people know who’s behind the whole thing so the news gets it right.


	33. BFU - FBI Agent Watching Me  AU (Shyan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/172187515711/watching-buzzfeed-unsolved-and-i-would-love-that)

Watching Buzzfeed Unsolved and I would love that AU where Ryan has a day job somewhere not super thrilling, right? But then he goes home at night and researches all these conspiracies and posts his videos to Youtube

At first it’s just him doing a voiceover while showing clips and photos. Some animation he cobbled together or other bit of supporting evidence for the conspiracy of the week because he doesn’t have a good webcam, and then it just becomes his schtick.

His channel’s not ~super popular but he’s slowly gaining subscribers and idk, someone in the Government takes note of this guy and his wacky conspiracy theories and maybe there’s ~concern that he’s some wackjob, right?

So they assign Shane as the FBI Agent watching him through his webcam, and Shane’s just sitting there laughing at Ryan’s videos and knows he’s harmless, right? Just some guy who’s into conspiracy theories. (And of course Ryan has another channel under a different name from a few years back about ghosties and whatnot that he hasn’t posted to since starting his current one because reasons? Maybe he wants to seem less ~out there with his theories although he regularly addresses comments suggesting aliens were behind some of the conspiracies he goes over ins his videos, so. You know. Great job there, buddy.)

Shane starts leaving comments on Ryan’s videos just to fuck with him? And Ryan gets so worked up after weeks.months of going back and forth with this asshole on the internet that he makes a special video calling Shane out and his followers freaking love it - and it turns into this Thing they do and Ryan’s channel gets a whole lot of attention after that. (Maybe he overhears a coworker talking this Ricky Goldsworth and his Youtube channel at his boring day job and does a spit take because what the fuck?)

And then he gets a ~mysterious package or letter in the mail that’s a bunch of photographs and a USB drive and documents, some leather journal written in code because of course it is, right?

He thinks it’s a joke, someone somehow getting his address and sending him this shit to make him go on a wild goose chase because it’s local. So he talks about it in the Q&A video he does now, and doesn’t think too much of it afterwards because haha, good joke guys -

Only it’s _real_.

Some crooked politician with shady dealings or some such in the area, and they find out and then he’s running for his fucking life while guys in h him on his way home from work. He finds other dudes in tactical gear tossing his place looking for the contents of the package he got in the mail only no, he has it on him because he grabbed the wrong bag that morning and it was too late to turn around and get his work bag and then he’s running for his life again and what the fucking hell?

At which point Shane shows up (because of course he overheard someone talking about taking care of the guy with the Youtube channel and the conspiracy theories) and they go on a wonderful magical mystery tour of near death experiences and ~sexual tension as they realize, hey, this dude’s not bad looking in between all the death defying they’re doing.

(Shane, of course, is half in love with Ryan thanks to his job as a creeper and side hobby of fucking with Ryan for funsies - “That was you? Oh, you _fucker_!” - and Ryan kind of enjoyed debating theories and whatnot with Shane and okay, look, maybe now is not the best time for this because people are trying to kill us, like a lot? But we’re going to come back to this later, alright?)

And then, like.

The Dramatic Showdown wherein Ryan is a damsel in distress who manages to save Shane’s life. They expose this conspiracy that went higher than anyone could have guessed™!!1 and get ~convenient flesh wounds that allow for ~tender concern and touching and oh, hey, let me take off my shirt so as to allow you to use it to stem the bleeding, it’s cool. Just you know, make sure there’s awkward staring in there too, alright?

Shane and Ryan going back to their lives now that everything’s taken care of without resolving that whole madly in love with each other thing they had going on because they’re dumb, right?

Ryan’s Youtube channel is so successful he can quit his boring day job and focus on making conspiracy videos. He also starts posting on his ghosties and ghoulies channel again out of spite because Shane mocked the hell out of it while they were evading death and such.

But something’s ~missing and Ryan is like ~sigh, and then some asshat starts fucking with him in the comments again - _SHANE???_ \- but when Ryan goes to “debate” with them, it turns out to be an actual run of the mill internet asshat and not his asshat, so he is Sad ™.

And then some lovely sunny day some asshole bumps into him on the sidewalk, and he’s got apologies ready to be used, but he looks up - and up and holy shit, he really is like fucking sasquatch - and Shane is smirking at him and he’s like.

“Oh. It’s you.”

Shane being mildly (totally) offended because this is the thanks he get for coming to see Ryan after quitting his job and ~finding himself?

Awkward flirting, Shane chilling at Ryan’s place like a dork and offering to help with his videos - like, not with government secrets and whatnot because jail??? - but the library kind of research and then he gets dragged into helping Ryan look for ghosties and ghoulies and at some point they realize they might as well be fucking married, so you know. Why not throw in the kissing and such while they’re at it? 

Also, at some point the Hotdaga becomes a Thing and Ryan Regrets™ so much.


	34. Rubber Duckies (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/172435614976/so-the-thing-where-fahc-michael-is-usually-the)

So. 

The thing where FAHC Michael is usually the demolitions expert, right?

You cannot tell me that at some point Gavin hasn’t asked him to figure out the logistics of creating an explosive rubber duckie for him a la Hitman.

Like, they have the remote activated duckie and the proximity duckie, but Michael has also created a FAHC crew color green one for “special occasions”.

Nowhere else has the sight of little rubber duckie caused so much fear and panic as when some douche canoe finds one sitting innocently on his big fancy desk (paid for with other people’s blood) or the dash of their expensive car (likewise funded by other people’s blood), before becoming that night’s lead story on the news.

You get people like the Vagabond scoffing at the very idea when he’s new to the crew, right? But after he sees what just one of them can do he’s totally on board with the whole thing and commissions Michael for two - three when Ryan changes his face paint design - new ones.

One with a tiny skull mask, his original face paint design, and the current one so that people will know if it’s Gavin or Ryan leaving these little death duckies for people on the FAHC’s shit list.


	35. Kitties (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/172774457551/current-writing-woes-having-to-choose-between-the)

Current writing woes:

Having to choose between the ridiculous FAHC au where Gavin’s a werecat (look, I don’t know either) which is part of the reason he’s great at the whole thief bit. There are shenanigans and then suddenly the Vagabond finds himself with this stray that keeps popping up and bossing him around and then it just gets awkward because Gavin’s starting to wonder how to tell this not unattractive man that he’s only a part-time cat and really there’s no way this’ll go well???

OR.

The one where _Ryan’s _a werecat who is in a bad spot when theFakes find him and then it’s Gavin and Jeremy cooing over him because look at the sweet kitty with its toe beans!!1! (Meanwhile Ryan is like, wow, okay this complicates the bit where I’m supposed to kill you? Talk about awkward, huh???)__

__AND THEN, FRIENDS AND THEN._ _

__Is it the kind of AU where Ryan or Gavin are like ~super rare werecats (I laugh every time I type that, fyi) or the kind where everyone’s some kind of supernatural creature?_ _

__And if THAT’S the case, is it too much to have Michael have banshee blood and Jeremy to have siren blood somewhere in their family tree or not?_ _

___???_ _ _


	36. Groundhog Day scenario (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173535688006/on-re-watching-the-doomsday-heist-finale-like)

On re-watching the Doomsday Heist finale, like. That FAHC AU where they end up in a _Groundhog Day_ situation on a heist (because reasons), but instead of only one of them being aware of what’s going on, it’s all of them?

The Death Pool becomes a thing and everyone’s so damn jaded about everything until they finally manage to break out of the cycle of suckage (also because reasons).

Afterwards a battered dollar bill gets hung up on the wall in the penthouse. It’s had a hard life, what with being a little singed, and what could be dried blood on it and so on, but no one ever explains what it’s doing there or why they look at it like some good luck charm.)


	37. Gold Titan (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173656454811/spoilers-for-the-new-gta-v-video-rear-access)

Spoilers for the new GTA V video ([Rear Access.](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-gta-v-rear-access)) under the read more - if you’re on mobile turn your eyes away if you don’t want to be spoiled for the video because Tumblr mobile is real dumb like that:

 

 

I mean, it’s like a thing that I’m spoiling is in the thumbnail so it’s not ~plot spoilery but just to be safe! (Also, I have had TOO MUCH caffeine today, so...)

Gavin’s gold Titan is like THE best Golden Boy thing ever in recent videos.

Also/or the modern day Kings AU/FAHC AU crossover/fusion wherein they’re all reincarnated and he totally remembers. (When the others regain memories of their past lives they’re just like, “Wow, real subtle there Gavin.”)

OR.

The one where they’re all immortal and ~scattered across the world and when they reunite are likewise, “Wow, real subtle there, Gavin.”

Or, you know. The one where Gavin is the king formerly known as Midas and felt the military paint job didn’t have the right pizazz. (Look, idk either, it’s been a long, weird day and that video was pretty great, okay?)

 

OR the one where they Fakes are in a bind somewhere and someone (RYAN) calls in a favor when they need an airlift out and everyone’s expecting some tiny, beat up Cuban or a Luxor or something similar and turn around to see this goddamn gold Titan coming in for a landing.

Ryan _sighing_ because wow, that’s going to keep them under the radar for sure, but hey, it’s that or get horribly murdered by the people after them. (Another crew, various law enforcement agencies, perhaps a little of column A, a little of column B.)

Inside the cargo hold is a veritable armory because Gavin was on a job of his own when Ryan called. Makes sure to mention it several times -look, Ryan, look - he’s willing to let them use the weapons and whatnot to defend the Titan if anyone pursues them because he can so be a team player, just look, RYAN.

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	38. Former spies/and the whatnot AU (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173836849356/given-the-amount-of-times-the-fakes-get-called-on)

Given the amount of times the Fakes get called on by the government to help out – various heists and such – I really kind of love the idea of them all being former spies/secret agents/various law enforcement agents/officers.

Like.

Their respective agencies betrayed them or they were horribly disillusioned and somehow ended up in Los Santos. And maybe for them getting a normal job would have made it easier for any enemies they had to find them, so they end up working shady jobs and so forth until they come to some kind of compromise regarding any moral conflicts.

Like, sure, various criminal activities they take part in aren’t very ~heroic and all, but it’s not like what they were doing before was much better. (They still have lines they won’t cross, that kind of thing, but they get over whatever hangups they may have had about being criminals because hey, life’s a lot more complicated than good and bad and Los Santos has its own rules, so you know.)

And Geoff ends up creating the Fake AH crew and recruiting all these assholes – maybe they know going in the others didn’t start out as criminals, maybe they don’t.

But when Agent 14 pops up and keeps dragging them into one mess or another with these heists they all begin to realize something’s up, you know?

Because Agent 14 can’t not let them know he knows exactly who they are no matter how hard they've tried to hide out here in this crime-ridden city.

Just “lets things slip” and makes pointed comments and it comes out that Gavin’s a former hitman for some British agency (“How is old Dan doing anyway?”)

Ryan used to be a ~suave spy who used modeling as his cover a fair amount of his career. (“Never thought I’d see the day you’d be wearing something like that unironcially, Haywood.”)

Jack’s a military pilot who choppered various black ops teams and whatnot, Michael used to be a cop. Jeremy was a baby agent somewhere when things went pear-shaped and Agent 14 gets this tight-lipped look on his face when he looks at him because that’s on Agent 14’s people and he knows it damned well.

Fuck if anyone knows what Lindsay used to do but she knows _everyone_ , and Trevor and Alfredo just showed up one day and no one can make them leave, and a little while later Matt shows up claiming and is also someone who just won’t fucking leave, what the hell is up with them???

And _Geoff_.

“Try it dickhead.”

So, okay.

Geoff gets a pass because whatever happened with him was before Agent 14’s time and way over his pay grade and also, wow, no. Not getting paid enough to delve into that mess.

And even after everyone has their “You, too, were once a spy/secret agent/law enforcement person? :O!!!!” moment and they keep on keeping on as a crew Agent 14 stops by with more heists because they’re the only ones he can trust to get shit done.

And, like.

All the special stunt races with the special vehicles like the Ruiner 2000 and the Stromberg and Deluxo are just training tracks/courses to get the crew familiar with them for the heists and I kind of lost the plot of this, just.

IDK, all these jaded, cynical idiots coming together to be criminals who pull the most ridiculously complicated heists mostly for shits and giggles and okay, yeah, a decent cut who also help save the day from time to time.

(Bonus points if, like, B-Team are all actual criminals who have been ~hoodwinked into working for the good guys. They liked the way the Fakes had morals a lot of the crews in Los Santos lacked, and what even is going on in their lives anymore because things are suddenly less about committing felonies and more about saving the world???)

* * *

[More babbling about this AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666224/chapters/34062440)


	39. Former spies/and the whatnot AU - Geoff and Jack (Jackeoff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173848666881/okay-but-more-of-the-one-where-the-fake-ah-crew)

Okay, but more of [the one where the Fake AH crew go into things knowing they’re not quite the criminal scum Los Santos seems to think they are?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13666224/chapters/34062338)

 

Geoff running into Jack in Los Santos after things go to shit for them in a seedy little bar somewhere.

Nursing his drink because he’s (mostly) over the part where he gets blackout drunk to forget how he ended up where he is, but goddamn if that isn’t easier some nights.

Looks up when someone sits a few seats down from him, timber of their voice oddly familiar and he sees Jack.

Isn’t really sure at first, hard to reconcile the clean-cut guy in the flight suit who flew Geoff and his people into hostile territory (territory they _made_ hostile) time and again with this guy. Someone who looks like a cross between a hispter and a fucking lumberjack, looks tired, this slump to his shoulders Geoff’s Jack never had in all the time he knew him.

This guy he personally requested even though it earned him a _look_ from Burnie because Geoff was never really one to ask for favors, but this guy, okay. This guy.

He defied orders to pull Geoff and his people out of a tight spot when they’d been given bad intel. Baby operative bleeding out and hostiles on the way and no evac coming because the situation was too hot. (And it happened, you know. Geoff and his people knew when they signed up there might come a day they’d be written off if it would prevent a political shitstorm, start a fucking war.)

But Jack had taken a chopper and gone after them anyway and seeing that bird swinging in low for a landing was one of the most beautiful things Geoff had ever seen in his life, so you damn well better believe he called in every fucking favor he could to keep Jack from being thrown into the deepest hole his superiors could find as punishment for that little stunt.

Burnie’s always been good as gold. Managed to keep Jack out of trouble and assign him to Geoff’s people, and they never really talked but Geoff liked to think they were at the very least acquaintances.

And then the clusterfuck that got half of Geoff’s team killed half an hour after reaching the target, had him dragging his latest rookie to the LZ while the rest of his team provided cover fire. Had one of them making a sacrifice play to buy them more time and big, beautiful Jack in his black helicopter and everything that followed.

Burnie telling him someone had intentionally fed them bad intel, had leaked the mission to the target, wanted to embarrass the US, get them involved in a fight they couldn't afford and how the blame was going to land on Geoff and his people.

His team broken up, either resigning or being snatched up by Burnie and Jack -

Dishonorable discharge and a whole lot of bullshit and Burnie asking Geoff if he was sure about that, making that decision for Jack rather than let him choose for himself, and Geoff.

Look.

It was let Jack try to fight the powers that be and end up in a cell next to Geoff or get him as far away from things as he could, even if it wasn’t done kindly.

So.

Jack gets booted back to civilian life and Geoff taking the brunt of the blame. Supposed to be sent to some dark little cell somewhere but Burnie’s got people everywhere and Geoff ends up in Los Santos.

Changes his name and lays low. Drinks too much and does things he never would have in that other life of his, but when in Rome and whatever the fuck else, right?

And then Jack shows up in one of Geoff’s usual watering holes and what are the odds, you know?

Jack notices someone’s watching him and turns to see Geoff – this scruffy hobo-esque guy who looks like he’s had a shit life so far.

They start talking and it’s not until an hour or so in when Jack realizes who Geoff is.

Turns to him with this look on his face and hauls off and slugs him. Lays him out on the floor and the bartender calling one of the bouncers over because there’s already been one fight that night, and they’re not going to tolerate a second one -

But Jack’s holding a hand out to Geoff who’s cradling his jaw, startled, but there’s this little smile on his face too.

“Come on, asshole,” Jack says, and wriggles his finger and Geoff takes his hand.

Lets Jack pull him to his feet and out of the bar before the bouncers get involved and then it’s the whole thing with Jack yelling at Geoff for being so goddamned dumb.

Geoff shrugging and muttering about wanting to protect Jack because he didn’t deserve to get dragged down with Geoff and Jack just _looking_ at him.

Jack letting Geoff stay at his shitty apartment because it’s late and Geoff’s a little drunk and Jack’s not a complete asshole.

Geoff going his own way the next day, but he’s got Jack’s number and they meet up every so often but aren’t really friends -

Until Geoff starts planning a heist and realizes he needs a pilot, and maybe Jack wants in???

And then, you know, shenanigans. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	40. More werecat AU??? (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173869884856/so-a-cat-got-in-the-building-at-work-and-set-the)

So a cat got in the building at work and set the alarms off this morning.

It’s not helping with the various werecat AUs I’m working on because you know one of those assholes would sneak in somewhere and constantly off the alarms until the employees disabled them and then _bam_ , heistin’ time.

The news is like _Cat Burglar To Blame???_ showing a security camera footage of asshole werecat seemingly wandering around randomly because that was the only Odd Thing employees recall noticing before the heist.

It turning into a running joke around Los Santos until someone realizes it’s the _same fucking cat_ and maybe there’s something to the whole cat burglar thing???


	41. Undercover Fed ~infiltrates the Fake AH Crew (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/173916801826/watching-heist-videos-and-quietly-dying-at-the)

Watching heist videos and quietly dying at the thought of some fed or some such ~infiltrating the crew and being at a complete loss as to how they’re all still alive???

Like.

All this time everyone thought they were this well-oiled machine and all that - had to be to pull of their past heists - but _no_.

It’s just chaos and relentless arguing and bickering and how the fuck do they not know their right from their left???

And oh, God, the _singing_.

Always with the singing and the made up lyrics and how has not one caught them before now?

And this poor fed, right.

Reporting back to their handlers or superiors and being so frustrated and angry at the Fakes for being the luckiest sons of bitches in the world.

And then like the heist this person was brought on board for comes around and they’ve set everything up so they can finally catch the Fakes? 

But nothing works. 

All those traps, the planning is for naught because the Fakes knew the whole time and were just stringing this poor fed along for shits and giggles and they get the shiny bauble they were after the whole time anyway.

All that chaos coming together in this beautiful string of coincidences luck or who the hell knows because it sure as hell can’t be _intentional_ (it is, though, it so is), and this poor fed gets to see it all.

The feds and the cops get nothing and this poor fed resigns because _never again_ and goes off to start a new life somewhere far, far away from Los Santos and the goddamned Fakes. 

They get Christmas cards every year postmarked from Los Santos no matter how many times they move, though, this wonderfully subtle little threat because they’ll never forget the fed who thought they’d have a hand in taking the Fakes down from the inside, but have a merry Christmas anyway and sleep tight.


	42. Meet cute on vacation (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/174195022011/okay-so-im-a-sucker-for-the-romcom-thing-where)

Okay, so I’m a sucker for the romcom thing where two people meet on vacation or business trip or whatever and end up falling for someone they ran into at the bar or on the street or some other way?

And they talk and have that little montage sequence where you know they’re In Love and it’s so sweet and adorable and such?

But then there’s that moment afterward where they’re real dumb about things and realize It Can Never Work because they’re on vacation or on a business trip or whatever and have to go back home in a few days. (Like you know, they can’t be adults and figure their shit out, but hey, romcom rules, you know?)

They never really tell the other person where they’re from because it’s not important and they either decide to go all in on this little vacation/business trip/whatever fling and enjoy it while they can?

And get all sad when they have to say their goodbyes and go back to their their regular lives and have this wistful smile on their faces from time to time because What If Things Had Been Different??? 

And then like a week or however long later they run into their vacation/business trip/whatever fling and wow, talk about coincidences because they lived in the same city the whole time or just moved there for work or something else totally convenient and ~rekindle their romance but like, For Real this time?

But with a FAHC twist in which they’re either legitimately on vacation or a job or something and hey, that guy’s pretty cute?

And the whole romcom thing happens, but with the added thing where “Wow, how awkward would it be if they knew I was a wanted criminal?” and having to act like a normal human being while being head over heels for this other guy and such?

Imagine having to hide their face from the cops in case they’re recognized and such being their first kiss because that’st the most effective way to throw the cops off? And oh, wow, that’s nice so maybe try the kissing thing again after the cops move on??? (But like, both parties panicking at the sight of the cops and having the same exact idea and not realizing it at the time because they were on a date or ~strolling along the beach/whatever and it was a romantic enough setting anyway for a kiss?)

Both of them all romcom angsty-sad when they have to head back to Los Santos but it would never have worked out because, again, wanted criminal and this other person they met was clearly Not A Wanted Criminal.

And then they’re back in Los Santos being criminals and there’s a heist or something or maybe just a new hire to the crew and !!! because that’s their vacation/business trip/whatever fling and HOW?! (I mean, romcom rules, clearly, but still.)

Everyone mocking them endlessly because dude, _dude_ , really?


	43. The Vagabond's Me day (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/174225087606/okay-but-the-whole-process-of-dying-your-hair-at)

Okay, but the whole process of dying your hair at home, right?

Dye kits and old clothes you don’t mind getting said dye on if you spill or drip said dye because you are a human disaster. The little shower cap if you can find it, the gloves that come with the dye kit that are just a little too small so you end up tearing holes in them and interesting marks on your hands. 

All of that, right?

But with Ryan if you’re a fan of him having to dye his hair black in the FAHC AU, okay.

And like he’s supposed to have the day off and his roots were showing and he’s earned this. 

Maybe he puts on the movie he’s been meaning to see, stocked up on his favorite junk food and whatnot and is enjoying himself and then his phone rings or there’s a knock at the door.

He does the thing where he’s thinking real hard about being that guy who screens his calls or pretends he isn’t home, but then it’s one of the crew on the phone and someone is picking the fucking lock to his door?

And it’s one of the others in a bind and could he lend a hand, sound of yelling and gunfire in the back ground. Or it’s one of the others limping through the door looking like they’ve been through the wringer.

Ryan’s immediately all business, because hey -

But the only thing the other person can focus on is the damn shower cap. 

It’s probably some cutesy thing with kittens print or something other because Meg is terrible and also there may be an old bathrobe and fuzzy slippers because why not, really.

Alternately, the Vagabond going out there and kicking ass in his be-kittened shower cap and bathrobe and fuzzy slippers and everyone involved is convinced they were seeing things (you know, the ones who survive) and Ryan acts like everything is totally normal, nothing strange here, nope.

* * *

I have these shower caps because reasons, and when I wear them I look like a little old granny (it’s amazing really, that they bring out my inner self so perfectly) which brings me back to[ the Vagabond’s “me days”](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/174225087606/okay-but-the-whole-process-of-dying-your-hair-at), okay?

Just.

Ryan with one of these beauties on his head because it’s time for his weekly deep conditioning treatment or Meg dared him to try out some curlers or who even knows, right?

And then someone with a grudge finds out where he lives or one of the other Fakes gets in trouble and have him on speed dial for just such an occasion.

No one knowing how to react to the ~infamous Vagabond in his bathrobe and granny shower cap and Ryan being annoyed at having is day ruined - he had _candles going_ , you assholes! >:((((((((((((((,  



	44. Fugitive-ish AU (Ramwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/174227534581/my-brain-is-all-ideas-no-follow-through-today-but)

My brain is all ideas no follow-through today? But like the Fugitive-ish AU with Ryan on the run and (incredibly) tired Geoff and his team trying to catch him?

Or maybe it’s just Ryan framed for some Terrible Crime and sounding like a crazy person trying to claim his innocence. (Also ~conspiracy in there somewhere where someone’s trying to kill him to keep him from revealing the truth so of course he runs.)

Nationwide manhunt and all and Geoff sucking back coffee after coffee while his team give him worried looks and such.

Ryan learning how to be a criminal by reading books (libraries man, how helpful) and being a little alarmed at how easy it is because hey, he had a lot of the know how already.

And then the little cat and mouse games as Ryan tries to clue Geoff in while the corrupt cops/whoever aim to kill and all that fun stuff.

And, look, if maybe they run into that situation where they have to rely on one another to survive while cut off from everyone else happens, that’s okay. 

(You know the one, right? Where the ‘good guy’ realizes - had suspected for a while - that 'bad guy’ wasn’t the ruthless bastard the press were painting him to be and maybe they have that moment where they’re finally on the same page in all this mess when the real baddies show up and Ryan has to run because if Geoff lets on he’s on Ryan’s side now they’d both die, and anyway, you know what I’m talking about.)

And then the climactic ending with the running and shooting and yelling and such - flesh wounds abound along with wry one-liners.

Ryan and Geoff sharing that long look of “Hey! look at us, being totally not dead! \o/” and maybe ~feels while Geoff’s team looks after clean-up and the rookie who got shot (slightly more serious than a flesh wound but totes not fatal) gets taken to the hospital.

That epilogue where Ryan’s learning to reintegrate into society as a functioning human being and keeping in touch with the people who helped him out during his trying to stay alive adventures. (Maybe he quit his old job because his recent experiences soured him on it, maybe he starts up a little company or his own or whatever and hires the people who helped him out because cliche happy ending things, right?)

And then Geoff pops up - says he’s checking up on Ryan, making sure he’s on the straight and narrow (perhaps Ryan mutters something about not being straight and not realizing Geoff heard him until he realizes how quiet it got suddenly and oh, shit - )

Awkward invitations to dinner and movies and other things until Ryan clues in that they’re dating and oh, wow, when did that happen?

Geoff continuing to be very, very tired because what the hell, Ryan?

(Ryan’s peeps and Geoff’s peeps making both their lives awful because imagine telling the people at their future wedding - because of course they’re going to get married one day, look at those idiots - how they met???)


	45. Immortal FAHC GMOD Murder (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/174544440826/the-immortal-fahc-fic-where-they-play-gmod-murder)

The Immortal FAHC fic where they play GMOD Murder, but for real.

Just a bunch of ~notorious criminals like the Fake AH Crew running around old buildings and whatnot trying to figure out which one of them is the killer, right?

Ryan getting offended when the others immediately decide it must be him, Geoff annoyed that he’s never the murderer.

Various alliances that crumble the moment doubt is cast upon their ally. 

The dollar fine for killing an innocent.

The poor cops who go out to investigate after multiple calls of gunshots in the area and find the Fakes trying to kill one another ~~while yelling like kids on a playground~~ and think they’ve finally showed their true colors. Not so loyal now, what with the Vagabond hunting down the Kingpin and Mogar and RimmyTim teaming up against the Golden Boy. 

But really, it’s even better if everyone in the city knows the Fakes are immortal or whatever so they’re like, SIGH, and maybe send a few patrol cars out to appease the public. The cops just set up a cordon around the area to keep people out and bring donuts and coffee while they wait for the Fakes to finish their little game.


	46. Retired Hitman!Gavin in the FAHC AU (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/175657378566/so-the-one-where-formerretired-hitmangavin-winds)

So the one where former/retired Hitman!Gavin winds up working with this bunch of criminals out of Los Santos, okay, but they have no idea what he used to do?

Just think Gavin’s some small-time criminal who’s pretty good with computers. Maybe not the best when it comes to driving but he can gives the cops a good run for their money. Great sniper - he and Ryan trade off after Ray leaves - and when Jeremy comes along it’s usually one of them up high when the crew needs a sniper. 

The crew does wonder, though, if Gavin used to work in Vinewood because he references movies and things a lot. 

Scoffs loudly on movie night when someone picked a spy thriller or anything with a hitman in it and is just like, “Well _that’s_ not very realistic, now is it?” and doesn’t elaborate at all as to why it isn’t or mumbles about camera shots and whatnot.

And things are going pretty great, but there are these odd little moments, right?

Michael goes off on a job for Geoff where he needs to infiltrate a gang for whatever reason to take out one of their higher ups and Gavin hands him a phone. 

Like.

Just a regular little smart phone, all shiny and new and Michael doesn’t know what to do with it?

And there’s Gavin with this little smile telling Michael whoever answers it is going to have a very bad day, _winkwink_. 

Michael thinks it’s just Gavin being an asshole, but he can’t get close to the fucker he’s supposed to kill, but!

He can get into the office where they’re going to have a little meeting, leave Gavin’s dumb phone there and if Gavin’s not just fucking with him get things taken care of. (Maybe not as neatly ass Geoff would like, but they were going to go after this gang sooner or later anyway, why not start now?)

When the fucking phone actually works, Michael is like HOW and Gavin is just :DDDDDDDDDDDD and tells him he saw it in a movie once. 

“Spies and the like, you know? Love their little gadgets and all.” 

:DDDDDDDDDDDD

And so on and so on and Gavin never telling them what he used to do, but whatever it was is a bit terrifying. (Especially when Dan comes to visit and is totally in on the game with Gavin. Mentioning past exploits and asking if that scar ever healed up right and so on and the others are like ???)

Just. 

Retired Hitman!Gavin fucking with the crew for the hell of it and being so damn fond of them. 

Never really needs to go full Hitman when he’s with them, but it happens once in a while. Usually when whoever he’s rescuing is so out of it they don’t remember what happened or only remember bits of it. Gavin putting everything down to luck and the baddies being horrible at their jobs and honestly, he just got there first or some such.


	47. Prompt fill: OT6 fluff (Geoff/Ryan/Jack/Gavin/Jeremy/Michael)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because Reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/175870025311/a-fluffy-ot6-geoffryanjackgavinjeremymichael#permalink-notes)

Okay, so. The Fakes have been on a roll for a while now. Hitting these beautiful fat targets and pulling off incredible heists.

But they’ve been place so close to each due to time constraints and the like and they’re tired, exhausted. Bound to make stupid mistakes if this keeps up and they all know it.

And Geoff, he realizes what’s going on and plans one more heist.

The greatest one of them all!

Everyone groaning and muttering because _jfc, again???_ (They all had plans for some down time, a chance to relax for a bit and reacquaint themselves with each other, you know, with things being so busy. Just work all the time and no play.)

And Geoff says it’s to fuck over some corrupt politician or whatever, blahblahblah as he lays out the details of their heist and their escape.

“Is that the love boat?”

But no, no.

It’s just this state of the art super yacht that asshole is having delivered, sailing towards Los Santos as they speak and so on and so forth. The perfect finale to the perfect heist.

Two hundred and ten feet of sheer luxury – lushly appointed cabins with en-suites, a hot tub, two helipads for the times one just isn’t enough. A sweet little speedboat and a couple of sea sharks and really, however did such a for-the-people politician who came up from nothing manage to afford it?

So.

The plan is to infiltrate a dinner party the corrupt politician is hosting – fundraiser for their campaign – and steal some valuable artwork or whatever, there’s so much to choose from, you know?

There’s grumbling here and there along the way because why don’t they just like. You know. Fly a helicopter out there and fucking sink the damn thing if they’re fucking over this asshole?

And Geoff is like, “Too easy. We gotta make him suffer. _More_.”

They get ready for the heist with the usual shopping montage – elegant suits/tuxedos for the dinner party.

And of course there are all these~lingering touches as they help each other with their ties/bow ties. All soft and fond and scarred knuckles set against the silk fabric and so on.

These rough and tumble criminal types dressed to the nines, brushing lint – real or imaginary – off each other’s shoulders. Helping with cuff links and adjusting the handkerchief in the suit pockets for the ones who haven’t yet moved on to the tuxedo section.

Someone gets it in their head that they’re going to need outfits while making their grand escape on thee yacht, right? So the evening wear portion of the shopping montage rolls right into the abominations that are their cruise ship tourist getups?

Good-natured mockery as Jack acts as their guide in the Hawaiian shirt section, offering up non-existent “dos and don’ts” when it comes to selecting the proper shirt for the occasion. Setting wide-brimmed sunhats on each other’s heads, trying not to laugh when someone shows off their ensemble because they’re actually proud of it?

The night of the heist and everything goes off surprisingly, suspiciously well.

No one gets shot or stabbed or even a little exploded. Each stage of the heist happens the way it should and while Jack’s flying them out to the yacht they realize something’s off, not quite right.

Geoff has no idea what any of them are talking about, and that’s totally suspicious, right?

But whatever, they’ll figure it out after they land -

They’re expecting to have to deal with the skeleton crew delivering the yacht?

But no.

The yacht is all lit up, decorated for a freaking party and _???_ because there’s Lindsay and Trevor and other assorted members of B-Team plucking their heist gear and stolen valuables out of their hands.

Escorting them to the extravagantly appointed cabins and informing them there’s dinner waiting if they’re hungry (they are, because fancy party means hors d'oeuvres and tiny portions and also, the whole thing with the heist and scaling walls and whatnot).

Geoff’s the only one not confused by what’s going on, acting like this was the end-game all along?

And when they’re sitting down for their fancy dinner with B-Team fading out of the picture they realize it is?

Geoff just smug as shit because not only did they fuck over that corrupt politician, but the Fake AH Crew now owns a yacht thanks to said corrupt politician and the B-Team. (Who came in earlier and captured the boat, sending the skeleton crew off to shore on a little dingy with a cheerful wave before setting everything up for the main crew.)

And now they get (at least) a couple of weeks of doing nothing but enjoying the yacht’s amenities, surprise vacation while B-Team handles everything else.

Everyone lounging around in their atrocious clothing choices in tourist chic and just taking the time to relax and enjoy themselves.

Hot tub make outs, massaging suntan lotion on each other’s backs while lounging around the pool. Someone decides shuffleboard has to happen even though none of them know how to play? (Other things that would require a NSFW warning, _wink-wink_.


	48. Dusk Boys AU (Gavin/Trevor/Alfredo OR Freewood???)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/175938962861/watching-achieveland-3-messin-with)

Watching [Achieveland #3 - Messin’ With Jacksquatch](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-episode-309) and kind of want that Dusk Boys AU where Trevor and Alfredo are like former henchmen? They were on track to becoming Evil Villains one day, but they either get fired of the EV they’re working for gets sent to jail, right? 

So now they’re out of work and need a place to stay because the EV’s lair was destroyed, and it’s kind of lame, really.

Enter Gavin who’s just some normal dude looking for roommates after his last two bailed on him and look how convenient everything is?

Trevor and Alfredo are like the perfect roomies at first, and Gavin thinks everything’s going great. Like sure, they do this thing where they boo the superheroes protecting the city when they’re on the news, but a lot of them are blowhard so whatever. (Half the city’s been held hostage by an EV at some point, Gavin included and he’s not been all that impressed with the superheroes he’s met.)

And they go to a lot of costume parties right? Because of their spandex suits and masks and whatnot, but whatever. 

Until they rope Gavin into dressing up with them one night and intend to terrorize the city? But Gavin’s like, “Oh, hey, there’s a cat stuck in a tree?” and they end up doing random good deeds anyway.

They get called the Dusk Boys because that’s usually when their work schedules and whatnot line up to go out and such? (Oh, God. The three of them with these normal day jobs - coffee shop barista, book shop employee, photographer for the local paper or whatever?)

Trevor and Alfredo still claim they want to be EV’s but like. It’s this thing they just say now because they’re basically superheroes now all thanks to Gavin and just. Accidental heroes because they never really worked that hard towards being EV’s in the first place?

It was all some aptitude test placement or something in high school, and hey, some of the local shop owners give them freebies and discounts for helping them out so this isn’t so bad??

Like, they’re still complete assholes to their neighbor Jack, who’s a cop or superhero or something who was placed there to keep an eye on these former henchmen, right? Their old boss had Plans and Jack’s superiors think they know something? So in comes Normal Guy!Jack to see if he can find anything out.

But no, Trevor and Alfredo were too low down in the hierarchy to know anything and there’s this whole kerfuffle where their old Boss comes along again and expects them to fall into line. But when they don’t, he makes poor Gavin the Damsel In Distress and it’s a whole Thing, right?

Trevor and Alfredo to the rescue, and they’re doing okay but man, backup would be great? And then Jack and the other superheroes pop in and it’s all over the news the next day and they lament the fact they’re being hailed as _heroes_. (Can you imagine?)

Also, like.

Either Gavin/Trevor/Alfredo or Gavin’s flirting with the cute reporter from his job at the paper who used to be a model or some such? (And Ryan is totally a superhero too, possibly reformed villain and really, there are so many possibilities I kind of want them all.)


	49. Retired Spy!Gavin in the FAHC (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176130293926/theres-a-bit-in-the-new-gta-v-video-around-the)

There’s a bit in the [new GTA V video](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-cruising-the-d-gta-v) around the thirty minute mark that gave me the best/worst idea?

Along the lines of [Retired!Hitman Gavin](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/175657378566/so-the-one-where-formerretired-hitmangavin-winds) why not Retired Spy!Gavin iwho ~turned to a life of crime/somehow ended up with the Fake AH Crew because they’re like family instead?

And they all know something’s off about Gavin, but it’s still Gavin and it’s not like any of them would ever be considered normal, so…

Gavin talks about having has this place outside the city, claims a friend of a friend gave him a good deal on this property just north of Los Santos out in the desert, right? And he’s always kind of “eh” when talking about it, saying it was a bit of a fixer upper when he bought it.

That there were structural problems and the like and he used to mention some problem or other about getting the damn thing up to code. Usually when he was on a stakeout with someone in the crew and they were dying of boredom or some such, something to take their minds off the tedium of what they were doing.

But the thing is, right. The thing is is that one day it’s Gavin and Ryan and some botched job and they’re miles from the city and whoever is chasing them is _not_ giving up so easily. Has fucking choppers and there’s no way in hell their car is going to get them back to Los Santos after being shot up a bit. (Engine making alarming noises, maybe smoking slightly, and really.)

And Gavin’s like.

“Turn off here,” gesturing at some dirt road that doesn’t look like much.

Ryan shoots him this look because _seriously_ , but Gavin’s insistent and it’s not like Ryan any better ideas so the shitty little dirt road it is.

Gavin’s on his phone and Ryan’s eyeballing the choppers who are still a ways back but quickly gaining and maybe a little more concern on Gavin’s part would be great seeing as how they’re probably going to die out here?

And then Gavin reaches out to grab the wheel and yanks, and Ryan’s first instinct is to elbow the shit out of whatever idiot pulls that move, but you know, _Gavin_ , so he doesn’t do that. (Yet.)

Instead he hits the brakes, which, car chase? But also Gavin pointing at this outline ahead of them in the scrub.

“Over there,” Gavin says, like he didn’t just almost get Ryan’s elbow to the side of his head.. “I texted ahead, they’ll be ready for us.”

Ryan -

Look.

No better ideas and all, right? So he drives forward, eyes widening because that outline he saw is a large concrete oval in the ground. Some kind of underground bunker or something. As they get closer the concrete oval splits in half and swing upwards revealing a large elevator platform that Ryan drives them onto it at look from Gavin.

It’s all very spy movie cliche but Gavin looks bored, of all things. Like this is just ho-hum, same old, same old.

When the elevator stops they’re in this huge facility.

Facility.

Not a bunker, but a damn facility the kind you’d see in a Vinewood spy movie where the evil super villain has some kind of death satellite orbiting the planet and what the hell, Gavin?

Gavin just looks at Ryan and shrugs, says he’d told the crew about his place out here ages ago. Told them all about the problems he had getting it fixed up, remember?

And look, right.

Ryan remembers just fine, you know. It’s just that he and the others used to think Gavin meant it was some trailer or a rundown shack in the middle of nowhere, not some movie villain's secret lair.

Gavin looks at Ryan like he’s the lunatic here because no???

And heads off somewhere leaving Ryan to catch up with him or be left behind and the place is huge. _is_ a death satellite in orbit and other things.

All the structural damage and repairs Gavin mentioned were things he caused himself and for whatever reason part of his agency’s agreement to let him retire was if he kept an eye on the place in return?

They’d take care of repairs and hire staff to keep it maintained and such, but that whole Death Satellite thing is run by an AI that’s become inordinately fond of Gavin and only really listens to him. (God, the crew’s reactions when they hear that little bit of information.)

This AI that has the ability to bring the world to its knees that various agencies have been trying to form an alliance with to keep it from doing just that? This AI that they can’t just destroy or delete because it’s _everywhere_ , and nothing they can do would be able to stop it. 

They’re being so, so careful with it, knowing the risks and it’s so fucking infuriating that the only person it really likes is _Gavin_.

This retired spy who slums about with some petty little crew in a grungy little city and it adores the hell out of him and other things, right?

And the AI’s piggybacked along through Gavin’s phone or hacking into the comms during heists and jobs and everyday things – that time Geoff got that virtual assistant device for shits and giggles and Gavin knowing the AI had quietly shuffled the poor little thing aside because it was curious about Gavin’s crew.

These humans he’d decided to stay in Los Santos for even though his old agency tried to temp him back, even if just to train new agents and whatnot.

So the AI knows who Ryan is and is so very curious because he’s one of Gavin’s favorites and like. Romcom adventures with that whole mess in which the AI calls on shitty Vinewood movies to get the two of them together and Ryan being very ??? at it until he realizes what’s going on and then like. Smooches and whatnot I guess?

IDK, this got away from me, but really. Gavin with this underground facility out of a spy movie and the ability to call in orbital strikes because he was nice to an AI that one time???


	50. Reincarnation AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176419900661/that-reincarnation-au-that-starts-with-the-with)

That reincarnation AU that starts with the with them as young gods in Sky Factory follows them through the Kings AU into the FAHC AU, because reasons.

Fallen pantheon and kingdoms and this last lifetime ruling over a crime-ridden city all this _history_ to everything. 

Bonus if they all don’t regain their memories at the same time so there’s the bit where the ones who do have to earn the others’ trust all over again each lifetime and it’s just so exhausting. 

Also, you know. A few of them dying young while the others grow old and gray and wonder what went so wrong to have things end like this. 

Betrayals and the like throughout lifetimes due to misunderstandings and poor choices so there are lifetimes where they choose not to reunite and there’s always this aching absence in their lives because they’re existences have become so entwined and honestly this idea was far more coherent when I was in the shower earlier. /o\

But like. Dark God Ryan who’s not evil, it’s just how humans - so annoying, those - viewed him so that’s how things went. 

And so on with Jeremy and his blood magic and Solar Queen Gavin and all that and it sticks through their reincarnations until you have the ~spooky Vagabond and fickle Golden and Simple Farmer Geoff is just so very, very tired in all lifetimes because these stupid fuckers and their goddamned drama.

Everyone being leery around the Vagabond except for Gavin who remembers Ryan perfectly and oh, how poorly this life has treated him until now. Everyone freaking out because Gavin is always with the Vagabond who acts like he’s feral half the time, until he realizes the Fakes are safe. (And then the others regain their memories and then everything makes sense again.)


	51. Battle Buddies trollin' in the FAHC AU (Jeremwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176499010056/if-romantic-battle-buddies-was-a-thing-before)

Oh my God. Okay, so.

I want to say they’d totally do both, right, because that’s just the kind of assholes they are?

But I can see them leaning more towards the one where they’re complete failboats who are crushing hard on each other more.

They act like they either don’t know each other at all, right? They’ve heard of each other, sure, but this is the first time they’re meeting and oh, wow, looking forward to working with you, I’ve heard good things.

They want to trust the Fakes, but hey. That kind of information in the wrong hands could be trouble. ~Weaknesses and such, and it’s just annoying when their enemy targets their SO because the enemy usually likes to monologue or ~twist the knife a little.

All “This is where love gets you, Vagabond!” as they try to shank Jeremy. Or “I guess next time you’ll be a little more careful who you trust, Rimmy Tim.” as they try to shot Ryan. Like. For an example, because those situations definitely did not happen, goodness no. (They so did, and may be the reason they’re in Los Santos now, but shhh, it’s a secret.)

They try not to keep the act up, at least at first. Until they know they can trust the crew with this, but the thing is there’s no real set moment when they decide they can trust the others, right?

Just little things that happen over time. Small, unnoticeable moments where they earn Ryan and Jeremy’s trust and it doesn’t hurt that they happen to like these assholes, you know? Geoff and Jack and Michael and Gavin and the Terror Twins and Lindsay. All of B-Team and they don’t really have that talk of hey, maybe we can trust them with this, us?

And they slip up all the time, right?

Hands brushing when they’re gearing up for a heist and Jeremy passes Ryan a spare magazine. Ryan stepping close to double check that Jeremy’s body armor is on right, and maybe there’s that moment where they share a soft smile and Ryan’s hands linger. Jeremy wiping blood or soot or whatever off Ryan’s cheek after a heist, smearing his face paint a little but Ryan doesn’t seem to mind.

Standing a little too close to each other or always seeing to gravitate towards one another no matter where they are.

The others notice, of course. Start taking bets and the moment Ryan and Jeremy clue in they decide to have a little fun with them. Ramp things up until some of the others are really, truly suffering at how clueless they are?

Geoff sends them off on a job together as a married couple (there is no legitimate reason for it, Geoff just tells them it’ll help their cover stories) so they end up in a luxury hotel where their target staying and really, there’s no reason for them to pretend to be a married couple? But whatever. They get a few nights at a swanky hotel with all expenses paid, not gonna complain about that, no.)

The lock on the armory door jams and they get stuck inside for an hour while Gavin goes to find the tools to take the door off its hinges or whatever.

Michael and Jeremy having bevs by the rooftop pool while Gavin and Ryan try to drown each other while Lindsay referees and the Twins try to sabotage them. 

Just. 

“Jesus Christ, Li’l J. Fucking do something, it’s pathetic.”

Jeremy just being “???” at him because he has no idea what Michael’s talking about.

The Twins teaming up with Gavin and Lindsay to set traps up – mistletoe and the like during the holidays – but it always ends with Ryan and Jeremy and sheepish, “Oh, I didn’t see that there, HOW STRANGE.” and so on. 

Sometimes, there are chaste little cheek kisses, sometimes there is full on tongue, it depends on who catches them because certain people will not be believed no matter what they say, and they make sure there’s no video/photo proof.

And then one day there’s a heist that goes bad and they both think the other died, right? (Their luck had to run out sometime, right? Why not now.)

Everyone’s hurting and tired and keeping a close eye on Jeremy who’s been so fucking quiet since they dragged him there. (Had to, because he put up a hell of a fight, Gav’s got the black eye to prove it and Michael’s ribs hurt like a motherfucker.)

Didn’t even flinch when Michael stitched him up, and no one knows what to do -

Then the perimeter alarm goes off and everyone grabs their guns, Jeremy lurching to his feet when Gavin rushes past because these people that Ryan loved too are in danger -

And when they get down to the garage, there’s fucking Ryan. All bloodied up and covered in dirt and dried mud and goddamned twigs and shit in his hair (how???) and he’s limping because of course he is. Arm in a makeshift sling because he dislocated his shoulder and couldn’t put back in place himself (because reasons), and he freezes when he realizes he’s got several guns aimed at him and oh, wow, hey, guys.

There’s this _noise_ , right, like a wounded animal and suddenly Jeremy’s pushing past the others fuck his injuries because Ryan’s alive and the others try to stop him. Jeremy looks like he’s either going to punch Ryan or tackle him – maybe both – but he stops in front of him and they stare at each for the longest moment.

Everyone’s watching, wondering what the hell is going on, and then Ryan pulls Jeremy into a hug and Jeremy carefully puts his arms around him and is just.

“You fucker, I thought we agreed not to do this again?”

Ryan just laughs, this tired little thing and buries his face in Jeremy’s hair and the others have no idea what’s going on, but then Ryan’s leg gives out and almost takes them both down and everyone scrambles to get them sorted out.

Later, when everyone’s taken care of and Ryan’s drifting along on painkillers and whatnot he and Jeremy let the others in on the truth.

That they’ve been married for a while now. Some little roadside chapel with a kitschy gift shop they came across after they left their old agency, but before they hit Los Santos.

And really, guys, it’s kind of sweet the way you’ve been trying to get us together but you’re a few years too late for that. :D?????????????


	52. Prompt fill: Geoff adopts a couple of strays (Geovin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176777288641/for-the-prompt-post-i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic)

I adore Geoff and agree with you 1000% friend! (Also, thank you so much! <333)

 

Geoff hears about these kids, right? Some British bastard with sticky fingers and a clever tongue and his guard dog. This Jersey bastard with a hell of a temper on him and how the hell they even work is a miracle because by all accounts this Jones kid hates the British kid with a passion. Cannot fucking stand him and at first Geoff thinks this Free kid must have something on him, something important because that’s how these things work.

As time goes by he keeps hearing about these kids. The way Free can talk himself out of anything – and has, got pinched by the cops and sweet-talked his way out of that one. Got into trouble with some of the smaller crews – and came out of it with new allies or by the end of things Los Santos would short one miserable little crew.

The more he hears about them, the more he wants them working for him. So he sets up meets with them, gets Lindsay and Trevor on it and Gavin and Michael say no and no and no over and over again.

Geoff thinks it’s them being young and stupid for the longest time until he realizes one day listening to Trevor tell him about something Gavin and Michael did that they’re terrified of being part of a crew.

He knows they came to Los Santos from the east coast so he reaches out to Burnie, asks if he ca find anything out about them. And boy does Burnie deliver, because it turns out that Gavin and Michael used to be a crew, worked for this piece of shit who thought he was meant for greatness.

Ran his crew on fear, and no one knows where he picked Gavin up, but the guy saw what an asset he had in him. Smart and clever and as long as Gavin was useful he got to live. And then came Michael with the same rule – be useful or die – and somehow they became friends.

Besties, even, which worked out for their boss because it meant Gavin had someone watching his back on job who was less likely to kill him themselves.

But then something went wrong, or right, depending on how you look at it because Gavin and Michael wanted out. Wanted to get away from that piece of shit and his crew and everything to do with him, and they were ruthless about it.

Set things up so the piece of shit and his crew were destroyed, ripped apart by greedy rivals while Gavin and Michael got the hell out of the city. Ran until they hit Los Santos and set up shop and Burnie warns him to leave them alone, that the risk isn’t worth it, and Geoff laughs, thinking it’s a joke because the Fake AH Crew can handle a couple of kids – and Burnie just sighs because of course Geoff isn’t going to listen.

Eventually though, Gavin realizes Geoff’s just going to keep coming after them and maybe one day he’ll stop being nice about it, so.

A meeting, where Geoff makes them an offer. Work with the Fakes on a job, get to know them and if they like what they see maybe stick around?

Gavin and Michael agree to that much, make no promises because they’re understandably leery of being trapped again when it cost them so much to get free the last time.

But they end up sticking around after that first job because they like the crew and it’s mutual. Michael and Jeremy get along like a house on fire (sometimes this is literal because there are houses on fire and those two asshole responsible for it).

Gavin seems to be getting along with everyone, and Geoff won’t lie, it’s a little terrifying that he and Ryan are suddenly BFFs, going down to the shooting range to bond over throwing knives (WHY), but it’s obvious they don’t quite trust the crew.

Which.

Geoff has faith they just need to give it time, let Gavin and Michael see for themselves what the Fakes are like and let them decide what they want.

Until then, he figures it won’t hurt to teach Gavin a few things here and there and takes him along for crew business. (Might gain some little bit of Gavin’s trust in the process.)

Let him get a feel for how the Fakes work and how they deal with allies and enemies and all that. (Because Geoff likes Gavin, and he knows right off that Gavin’s top priority is Michael and vice versa, this unlikely friendship that somehow came into being in the worst circumstances.)

They talk, a lot. At first it’s business, how to get what they want in negotiations without giving more than they can afford. They plan jobs, a heist or two and Gavin is _brilliant_.

Unconventional, sure, but brilliant.

Time goes by and personal details get mixed in with business talk. They spend long hours together with their planning sessions so they order out. Sit around eating take out and mention some small bit of information about themselves, favorite movies. Shows. Video games, and so on.

Sometimes they don’t talk business at all, because Geoff can’t believe Gavin hasn’t seen this movie, and Gavin can’t believe Geoff hasn’t seen that show. It’s been years since either of them played this game, so clearly they have to play it to see if it holds up. (It does, so naturally they end up playing for hours and hours.)

Both of them aware there’s something there, but skittish about putting a name to it, so they just keep muddling along while the others are like _really_.

Then one day Geoff brings Gavin with him to a meeting with a crew. Long time rivals and an actual threat to the Fakes. So they’re planning on taking things nice and slow and careful – but things go wrong anyway.

Gavin picks up on it first, standing to the right of Geoff’s shoulder in place of Ryan or Jeremy or even Michael

He doesn’t have the intimidation factor the other three do and he’s mostly been ignored during the meeting, which is in his favor something tips him off that something is very wrong.

He’s moving before Geoff realizes what’s going on, and suddenly there’s a knife in some fucker’s throat, gun falling from his hand The goon who makes a gab for Geoff gets a knife in his hand and Geoff’s on his feet with his own gun out and it’s shoots the guy trying to blindside Gavin. Grabs Gavin by the arm and gets them both out of there. 

 

Finds the side door that leads to the alley with baddies chasing them, dodging bullets and their ride screeches in.

Geoff feels a shove and sees Gavin stumble from the corner of his eye, body hitting the car heavily before Geoff twists around and grabs a handful of his shirt and hauls him in. Gavin falls into the car, across Geoff and Geoff’s yelling at Jack to gogo _go_.

Jack demands to know what went wrong. Geoff’s telling him, and breaks off mid-word when he realizes the hand he’d dropped over Gavin on reflex when they tumbled into the backseat is wet.

Twists around sharply to see his hand covered in blood from a gunshot wound. Gavin gritting his teeth and trying to pull free from Geoff to shoot at the the fuckers following them, hissing sharply because the motion tears at his wound, blood coming faster and Geoff -

“Stay the fuck down, you idiot!” Geoff yells, ripping his jacket off intending to use it to stem the bleeding, what the hell, Gavin.

Gavin jerks, turns to him, gun in hand and Geoff feels a chill go through him because he’s seen this before – not in Gavin, no. With Ryan, with Jeremy, when they’re in a tight spot. When one of them is hut and the odds are against them and it looks like this is where the Fakes end, where Geoff’s empire starts to crumble.

“Gavin - “

Gavin’s face twists, a strained, “ _Geoff_ ” because this is what he and Michael are for, right? The reason Geoff even wanted them with the crew in the first place.

He says something along those lines, spits it out like it’s the simplest of truths and Geoff reels back in shock, just enough for Gavin to go back to picking off the assholes chasing them. Fend them off for the others to get there to take the last of their pursuers out and Gavin slumps down hand, accepts Geoff’s jacket and presses down to stop the bleeding, something spooked about him.

No.

Not spooked, really, just.

Wary, like he’s not sure what Geoff’s going to do now, and Geoff could cheerfully murder the fuck out of whoever did this to him, to Michael, if they hadn’t beaten him to it because they’re his now. Were from the moment they set foot in the penthouse, since he and the others got to know them.

Geoff wants to talk to him about it, to Michael, because both of them are on edge after this, can’t seem to settle. (Gavin goes quiet and watchful, and Michael is never far from him, falling back into old habits.) Geoff wants to talk to them, but he doesn’t get the chance because he’s working with Lindsay and Trevor to deal with the rival crew who starts going after their people.

Geoff knows Gavin’s recuperating and Michael’s keeping an eye on him and doesn’t know how bad things are at first.

When things finally calm down he goes looking for Gavin when it occurs to they haven’t talked about what happened back at that meeting. Feels guilty about it, but he was focused on keeping them all safe and he remembers that wild-eyed look on Gavin’s face in the car. Thinking he and Michael were just tools to be used.

“Fuck,” Geoff mutters, because he fucked up right there, didn’t he.

Fucked up with Gavin and Michael and he goes looking for Gavin. Remembers Jack mentioning that he’s been down in the shooting range a lot, and he goes there first.

When he gets there he finds Gavin and Ryan throwing knives at paper targets. 

There’s a desperation in the way Gavin’s throwing the knives, something Geoff recognizes from the others, himself, after fucking up and vowing to do better next time and it breaks his damn heart because Gavin did everything right back there, and Geoff’s let him down.

Watching them, Geoff’s grateful for his crew because Gavin actually laughs at something Ryan says. Tired little smile on his face that drops away when he notices Geoff.

Something guilty, angry in Geoff at the way Gavin locks everything away. Stands up straighter, like he’s waiting for something from him. (Bad, something bad, and the urge to kill whoever did this to him and Michael is back again.)

Ryan says something to Gavin and then he leaves and Geoff hates the way Gavin’s watching him.

“Shit goes wrong,” Geoff says, hands in pockets, staring down at his the toes of his shoes. “It’s a fact of life No matter how prepared you are, shit always goes wrong in ways you can’t anticipate. The important thing is to be able to adapt, to handle that whatever happens, and you did, Gavvers, holy fuck did you ever.”

Geoff knows if it hadn’t been for Gavin he’s be dead now. Bullet in his head and a rotting, stinking corpse on the floor of that warehouse for the rats and strays to feast on and he’s clearly been around Ryan for too damn long to think that, but.

“It’s not your fuckup, Gavin,” Geoff says, too damn tired, sad, “And if it was, you wouldn’t be punished for it.”

Geoff makes a face when Gavin gives him a look, and okay, _alright_.

“Fine, you wouldn’t be disproportionately punished for it, all right?”

Because right, okay, he’d made Andy do the bitch work for a month after he messed up, but nothing like what Gavin and Michael seems to be expecting. Nothing mean, meant to hurt them, humiliate them, treat them than less than human.

It eats at him, that these dumb kids don’t get that they’re safe here after all this time. Like he hasn’t done enough to show them that, and it makes him angry - at himself, the bastard who did this to them.

“What we have here is good,” Gavin says, after a long, long moment. Halting and uncertain, accompanied by a ghost of a laugh, disbelieving. “I never thought I’d see Michael this relaxed.”

Geoff looks at him, skeptical because really?”

And Gavin laughs for real this time, hint of a smile curling his lips.

“It’s true, though, you don’t know what he was like before, with our other crew.”

Geoff looks at Gavin, still strung tight with nerves and it hits him suddenly, that Gavin’s done things like this before. Talked about Michael’s safety, happiness, and on and on and never mentioned his own feelings on anything. Always looking out for Michael the way Michael is always looking out for him and never mind anything else.

“And you?”

Gavin stiffens, eyes sliding away from Geoff, fake smile slipping into place.

“Oh, you know me, Geoff, always good, aren’t I?”

Well that’s a goddamned lie if Geoff’s ever heard one.

Geoff stifles a sigh, reaching for one of the throwing knives Gavin and Ryan were tossing around. (Remembers the way Gavin had killed that first guy in the warehouse, and thinks it wouldn’t be a bad skill to learn himself.)

“Yeah,” he says, hefting the knife in his hand, trying to copy Ryan and Gavin’s hold on the thing before he throws it.

Watches it flash through the air before clattering against the target and onto the ground, solid failure on his part. (Nothing new there, really.)

Gavin snorts, just watches as Geoff huffs and tries again with the next knife in line, and biffs that one too. Three more tries until Gavin reaches over to adjust Geoff’s grip, amused grin on his lips, some of the tension running through him gone.

“You’re snapping your wrist when you throw it,” he says, stepping back. “Use the knife’s momentum when you bring your arm forward.”

Geoff gives him a look, not sure if being handy with throwing knives was something Gavin learned how to do before meeting Ryan or after and a little afraid to know the answer.

He follows Gavin’s instructions with the last knife laid out, and while he doesn’t land the throw, there’s definite improvement because the point of the knife bounces against the target instead of the handle.

“Still shit,” Gavin says, and oh, that’s smug amusement, “but definitely better that time.”

Geoff eyes him, and Gavin’s grin only gets bigger.

“Try it again,” Gavin says, puling a knife out of nowhere to hand to him.

_Christ_ , Geoff thinks, as Gavin coaches him on how to throw knives, glad that the idiot looks like he might actually believe it when Geoff says he doesn’t blame him for what happened at the warehouse. _What a way to bond with someone._


	53. Prompt fill: Gavin and Ryan betray the Fakes (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176781175171/i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic-where-gavin-andor)

HOW DARE.

But also:

 

The thing about this is that it’s not personal. 

Never was. 

Gavin and Ryan work for some government agency or other, get brought to Los Santos because to help with the gang problem there.

 

They get put under cover hoping to catch the interest of the gangs and crews there and it works. Ryan gets a reputation as this masked weirdo who has no qualms about anything you ask him to do. (A lie really, because Ryan doesn’t hurt kids or animals or innocents. Anyone asking him to do something like that ends up dead real fast.)

And there’s Gavin, this slick talking asshole who can get his hands on just about anything you ask him to. Has contacts everywhere and rumors say he’s got the Vagabond on a leash. Has something on him that keeps him in line.

No one seems to notice that the gangs and crews that hire them get busted by the cops/feds later on. A few weeks, months, a year, it doesn’t matter. They think that’s just how things go sometimes, someone fucks up and they pay the price. Lucky it wasn’t another gang or crew that came in and wiped them out, really, although the cops did kill most of them at the time.

Eventually the Fakes look into these two, think they’ll be a good fit for the crew and it looks like they’re right at first.

Because Gavin falls in with Michael and Jeremy almost immediately, wreaks havoc with them here and there and it’s good, it’s good.

It takes longer for Ryan to fit in, but given the way Gavin seems so fearless around him the others follow suit. (Never do find out what Gavin has on him, not that it matters because they realize whatever started things rolling with the two of them, Ryan’s there now because he wants to be.)

But then things start to go wrong, little by little. Jobs and heists and the cops snap the Fakes up one by one, and Gavin and Ryan are still there. The cops they have on their payroll end up dead or IA sniffs them out, and it’s becoming clear they’ve got a rat in their midst, but by the time they realize just who it is, it’s too late.

A big heist they’ve had planned for ages, and too greedy to let it go and everything goes wrong.

Michael realizing Gavin’s in on it, and he pulls his gun – doesn’t know if he can pull the trigger but he sees Geoff down with a bullet in his leg and Jack scrambling to keep him alive Hears Jeremy on the comms where he’s pinned down by cops and _fucking Gavin and Ryan_.

Figures he should try, but Ryan gets him first. Bullet in his shoulder and Gavin picking up the gun he dropped, nothing like regret, remorse in him as he slaps a cuff around Michael’s ankle and chains him up like a fucking dog to the railing.

Ryan and Gavin keeping guard on Geoff and Jack until their backup gets there. The cops bringing Jeremy over and all of them knowing who did this to them.

Geoff and the others in cuffs and they see Gavin and Ryan talking to a suit, see the way they’re getting patted on the back and congratulated and told they’ll get medals for this one for sure.

Ryan and Gavin go to see them after everything’s said and done, the Fakes locked up in their little cages like animals.

“It was never personal,” Ryan says, because it wasn’t.

Never was.

It was a job, and they’re good at what they do. Get people to trust them, put faith in them and break it all down because these people they put down?

Murderers and thieves and worse, and just because the Fakes had morals, ethics, doesn’t make them the good guys, now does it?

The Fakes go to jail and Gavin and Ryan get sent somewhere else because Los Santos isn’t safe for them anymore – too many people know the Golden Boy and the Vagabond not to be suspicious after the Fakes fell from power, and they have jobs to do .

 

 

Okay, but if you want a “happier” ending, you can imagine the Roosters and members of B-Team breaking the Geoff and the others out of jail and they end up retiring, still angry and bitter over Gavin and Ryan betraying them.

Plan to get their revenge, but then Lindsay is like, “Uh, about that,” because they received vital information on where Geoff and the others were being held, transfer dates for the trial where the Roosters and B-Team could get to them safely while they were en route.

If it weren’t for that they’d be in jail still, so.

Everyone realizing it had to have been Gavin and Ryan and they’re not forgiven, no, but the Fakes drop their plans for revenge. Are too damn tired to rebuild everything so they head to some little beach-side town somewhere to retire and Gavin and Ryan keep on keeping on doing their thing, and never mention the part where they helped the Fakes break out of jail because they clearly had nothing to with any of it.


	54. Prompt fill: Undercover shenanigans in the FAHC AU (Turnfreewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/176818772136/on-a-happier-note-i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic)

(SO. This got away from me a little bit? Also, sort of kind of what you asked for???)

 

Ryan is with the Fakes at this point, but every so often he takes a side job. Runs with some of his old buddies, whatever.

And this time Meg comes to him asking for a favor, says a contact or other had some shiny little doodad they were supposed to give her but he got got by the cops along the way and now it’s in evidence out in Liberty City or somewhere else on the east coast. (Not her usual kind of work, that’s how it goes sometimes.)

The Fakes don’t have a lot going on at the time – between heists and Los Santos is quiet, and anyway.

Ryan asking Geoff for time away from the crew is a rare enough occurrence that Geoff almost always gives it to him. (Asks that Ryan keep him in the loop if he has plans that might impact the Fakes or their allies, but otherwise doesn’t pry.)

It doesn’t take long for Ryan and Meg to realize the easiest way for them to get that shiny doodad is if one of them is in cuffs (not like that, Ryan…although maybe later if you’re good). Get inside the station where the doodad is being kept in evidence and steal it then, nice and simple, piece of cake and other similar bullshit.

So Ryan plays the part of big, bad bounty hunter bringing in this wanted felon – had a bounty on her, half a million and you would not believe what a fight she put up. (And of course he’s loving this, drops Star Wars references right and left and goes all sad, kicked puppy when the younger cops don’t realize he is, and Meg trying so hard not to laugh at this idiot, right?)

They expect to be in and out in a day at most, but there’s some kind of commotion when they get there.

British agents after some international thief or who knows what, twig of a man and his partner and the cops are being super condescending. Asking if they’d like some tea and crumpets while they wait for the captain to get back from his meeting, pip, pip, cheerio?

The agents all stiff upper lip and whatnot (well, the one with the nose is, his partner? Not so much.)

They end up cooling their heels together in the lobby, Meg blatantly trying to get out of her cuffs every once in a while. Sweet smile on her face as she leans over to whatever poor soul is next to her and asks if they have a bobby pin, nail file?

Anything will do, sweetie, these cuffs chafe like you would not believe and they are super unfashionable.

Ryan side-eyeing her so hard because she’s scaring people, all sweetness and light and shackled like Hannibal Lecter minus the oh so fetching mask.

The British agents glancing over when there’s this _crunch_ , and someone trying to grope Meg while Ryan was arguing wth the desk Sargent is hunched over and whimpering about his balls, Jesus fucking Christ lady.

So, you know. They get moved to a private room, the four of them as Dan just went over and dragged the asshole over to the desk Sargent and asked if this is what law enforcement was about in America? Letting things like this happen right in front of them, and is this man wearing a police academy sweatshirt? Please don’t tell him he’s one of theirs.

Ryan eyeing the British agents warily, because hey, two. They’re well-respected hitmen (hitpersons), so while being in a small room them doesn’t constitute a challenge it’s hardly ideal.

But Meg seems to be charming then one with the nose, wrapping him around her little finger all nice and neat while his partner shakes his head.

Shares a look with Ryan because can you believe it? But he doesn’t seem worried, so. That probably means something.

Ryan half paying attention as the one with the nose – tells her about theses thieves they’ve been chasing, right pair of bastards always ten steps ahead.

They got a tip back in England that they were after something all the way over here in America. No idea what yet, just that it’s got the criminal world in a bit of an uproar. Race to get to it first and enough money to set someone up for a lifetime – _several_ lifetimes.

Ryan catches the way Meg’s smile freezes at that, eyes narrowing slightly, and then she turns the flirting up to eleven. Trying to get every shred of information the one with the nose (Gavin, he says, shy little laugh as he ducks his head, tips of his ears burning bright pink) has.

“Don’t listen to her,” Ryan says, as Meg titters at something Gavin says. “Nothing but trouble, that one.”

Meg glares at him, leaning a little closer to Gavin who looks like he has no fucking clue what to do with that, and Dan chokes on a laugh and claims he needs a refill on the shitty coffee they were given and leave the room. (Gavin pretends they can’t all hear him laughing as he walks away.)

And then it’s the three of them in that little room, Meg being all sunshine and sweetness and the cops have it all wrong when it comes to her, really. She can prove it if someone would just give her a chance.

A little while later Dan comes back, sets a cup of coffee down in front of Gavin and mutters something about having to go across the street to the coffee shop because the coffee here is shit. Turns it just so that Ryan catches a glimpse of writing on it and doesn’t give it much thought because it’s probably Gavin’s name the barista put on it.

And then Dan’s chatting with Ryan. Bonds a little over explosives – used to be in the military, Dan, and Ryan just loves blowing’ shit up so of course they have something in common, there.

And then Gavin has to take a phone call and Dan is sweet, if a little goofy and Ryan can tell Meg thinks he’s charming, for a stuffy government agent.

An hour goes by without Gavin coming back, and Dan’s phone goes off. When he checks it he mutters something about stupid bureaucrats and excuses himself because Gavin’s texted to let him know the police captain is back and it’s been lovely, but work calls and all that.

Ryan and Meg, because they’re just a lowly bounty hunter and his bounty end up stuck in that room for another hour – until the door opens and the police captain comes in flanked by minions.

All confused-like because he was told there were British agents waiting to talk to him, and you two don’t sound British.

Ryan and Meg sharing a look because ??? and the Captain being likewise ??? - and the some poor rookie comes running in with a pair of stuffed shirt government agent types trailing him because the British agents he was told to expect just arrived?

Something about missing their flight due to a computer error and they’re ever so sorry, but perhaps now they can get down to business because these thieves they’re after are the crafty sort.

Everyone freezing because wait, what?

And another rookie running in to tell the police captain that uh, hey. Someone broke into evidence?   
Also, the doodad is gone and no one saw a thing, but hey. There’s a calling card?

And the rookie holds up this little thing, literal card. Ryan and Meg both get a brief glimpse of it. Manage to see what looks like a jester’s cap leaned up against something else they can’t quite make out (a shield of some kind, maybe) before the police captain snatches it out of the rookie’s hands.

“Oh my God,” Meg whispers, because!

Gavin and Dan told them about the thieves they were after, pair of arrogant bastards. The sort who’d just waltz right into a police station and rob it blind without a care in the world, brazen gits.

Idiots who left a calling card just like that one behind, so damned arrogant and -

“Holy shit,” Ryan says and looks to where Gavin’s coffee is sitting innocently on the table.

The police captain is too busy playing the blame game with his people to notice when Ryan goes over to look at it. Sees the handwriting, sure, but it’s some kind of shorthand - code, perhaps - and not Gavin’s name at all.

Ryan makes up some excuse, says Meg needs to use the bathroom, something, and gets them the hell out of there.

It’s easy enough, because the station is in chaos. People running around and too busy to notice the way that one bounty hunter’s bounty loses her shackles along the way.

Snags a jacket draped over a chair and pulls it on over her clothes, hair tugged out of the high ponytail it was in and a pair of glasses on her face plucked off a desk in passing. Hand in Ryan’s who’s lost his trench coat and gained a baseball cap and don’t look at all like the pair who came through the front doors just that morning as they turn the corner and head for the parking garage where they left their rental car.

“Well, shit,” Meg says, when they’re blocks away and anger and indignation have given way to grudging admiration for the sheer balls Gavin and Dan have. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

Meg loses her payday in retrieving the doodad, but they manage to track Gavin and Dan to the airport.

Meg sliding into a seat on Gavin’s right and Ryan on his left after Gavin’s just seen Dan off on his flight back to England. Convinced him it would be smarter, safer, to travel alone, that the authorities would be looking for the two of them to be traveling together, and really it makes sense, doesn’t it?

Gavin going so very still because he’s figured out who Meg is, you see, and has a very strong suspicion as to who Ryan must be.

Gavin taking a seat at a little airport bar, nursing his drink and waiting for just this thing because they’re too good to stay in the dark about things for long. Too good not to find them, want to have a little word with them, and better to have Dan out of their reach when it happened. (Give them something to appease them for what they did, and Dan doesn’t have to know about it when Gavin knows he’d put up a fuss.)

More than enough money in Dan’s bank account to retire from this line of work and never have to worry a day in his life and they had a good run while it lasted, didn’t they? (And it’s just bad form to talk ill of the dead, Dan. Makes you look like a right wanker.)

Gavin waiting and waiting and waiting for their next move, wonders how they’ll do it – he’s looked into the pair of them, knows about some of their past targets - but Meg calls the bartender over and orders drinks for herself and Ryan.

“That was pretty impressive,” she says after a while, amusement thick in her voice. “Neither of us suspected a thing.”

Gavin glances at her from the corner of his eye. Wary, because he’s just a clever thief with all kinds of tricks up his sleeve, and she’s -

Well.

Bit more dangerous than that, and the man on his other side is much the same and how the hell he ever thought he and Dan could get away with this he’ll never know.

But then Meg holds her glass up for a toast, eyebrow raised, so what else can Gavin do but lift his own glass.

Ryan laughing under his breath next to him and Gavin is still expecting to end dead by the end of this, but Meg’s asking him how they did it. And Ryan mentions the supposed computer error that delayed the real British agents -

“The airline needs to upgrade their security,” Gavin says, before he can think better of it.

Meg and Ryan draw the story out of him, the careful plans and time and effort that went into the whole mess, and eventually he realizes they’re not _angry_. (Don’t want to get revenge on a pair of thieves over from England, and he breathes a little easier because it means Dan’s safe from them.)

Sure, they’re annoyed that Gavin and Dan tricked _them_ and they didn’t realize until it was too late, and he has to tell them (“Come on, Gav, please?”) what gave them away. What if they trip up again and aren’t lucky enough to get away like they did this time?

And Gavin, he’s a little confused, a little tipsy, but he doesn’t think he’s in danger. (Meg and Ryan have been buying him drinks, friendly smiles and light touches to his shoulder, his knee, and they’re a little closer to him than when they first sat down, and it’s heady because Meg’s gorgeous and Ryan’s handsome and he’s just _Gavin_.

Too-big nose and these spindly limbs, mind that doesn’t look at the world the way most people do and overall _odd_. The only one up until now aside from his family who liked him was Dan, and even if it’s a mistake he’s a little sweet on them. (Was even back in the cramped little room when he realized they weren’t what they said they were, who they were. That he and Dan might have bitten off more than they could handle, mind racing as he tried to figure out a way out for them.)

So Gavin shrugs and tells them it wasn’t something they did so much ass what they didn’t do. Little things that added up, and the cops probably wouldn’t have noticed but someone else might.

Small inaccuracies and he lays them all out neatly, one by one by one and misses the look Ryan and Meg share over his head because they’re things they’d never considered before. Hadn’t thought twice about and Gavin had noticed almost immediately.

And, look.

They like him, that twisty little mind of his and sweet, goofy smile. Squeaky little laugh and that throaty chuckle and good God, the quiet bravery because he could have gone with Dan, couldn’t he. Gotten on that flight with him and been in the air before they caught up to him. Gone to ground in England, wait them out until they gave up and went back to America, but no.

He’d sent Dan off ahead and sat himself down where they couldn’t possibly miss him, waiting, waiting, waiting.

So.

“I have a job lined up,” Meg says, and it’s almost the truth, because there is a job, it’s just. Not her usual type of job, and she was thinking of handing it over to someone better suited for it. But maybe if she had someone like Gavin whose brain she could pick, she’d say yes to the whole thing, give it a whirl. “It would be nice to have someone with your kind of expertise for advice.”

It’s an offer, and Gavin licks his lips as he considers it, because it’s tempting.

So very, very tempting.

“No strings attached,” Ryan chimes in, sensing Gavin’s hesitation. “You’d be a consultant.”

Meg gives Ryan an amused look because she hasn’t told him what the job is, and yet -

“What do you say?” Meg asks. “You’d get a percentage of the cut.”

Meg and Ryan are both watching him closely, and Gavin, right. Gavin is very clearly an idiot because he’s going to say yes because they’re very attractive people and while he could be reading things wrong, with them, he likes to think he isn’t.

And this job of Meg’s might be a good way to determine if he’s imagining the two of them flirting with him or if it’s just the alcohol talking, so -

“I’ve never been anyone’s consultant before,” he says, crooked little grin. “Could be fun.”

And then, you know. Shenanigans, because reasons.

Dan decides to retire, what with Gavin off gallivanting across America with a pair of hitpersons. And after thy pull off that job of Meg’s, Gavin ends up running around the country with her for a bit while Ryan goes back to Los Santos. And then a few months later they need a thief, and wouldn’t you know it? Ryan happens to know a highly skilled one, let him make a quick phone call be right back, and that’s when Gavin ends up joining the Fakes.

Meg pops in every so often, values her independence too much to tie herself down to a crew like that, but she’s there the moment they need her help. And when she’s not off on a job she can be found in Los Santos, and it takes the longest time for the others to realize she and Gavin are a thing, and even longer to realize Ryan’s part of it too, and the three of them are just insufferably smug about everything ever.


	55. Soulmate AU (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177001967381/god-ok-so-i-read-a-soulmate-au-where-people)

Lol, oh my God, this is beautiful.

Ryan doesn’t even realize he’s doing it at first, right? 

Gavin’s always using nonsense words but they’re clearly English(ish), right? (Even if someone is always, “Is that even English?” whenever he comes up with a new one.) 

Ryan just thinks it’s obvious, using context clues or just having worked with Gavin long enough to figure out (a little bit) of how he thinks. They’ll be on a heist and something happens that surprises Gavin and when they ask him what’s going on he just spews gibberish.

There’s a lot of screaming on Gavin’s part to go with the gibberish and the others are demanding to know what’s going on and Ryan, who’s busy with the cops or something just pipes up with a translation, like really, guys. Its pretty obvious.  


Gavin being like _???_ because of course _he_ knows what it means, but how the hell does Ryan when Gavin blurted it out in a moment of panic

And then it happens again and again, and Gavin is all curious as to how Ryan keeps doing it and comes up with increasingly ridiculous words test him. (The others pick up this whole disaster early on and take bets to see how long it takes Ryan and Gavin to realize what’s going in.)

Of course it happen when Gavin (who’s been crushing hard on Ryan this whole time) blurts out some gibberish and Ryan just freezes because Gavin just told him he loves him? That can’t be right - 

Wait.

_Wait._

Gavin just standing there looking like he wants to make a break for it, but he needs to know if this is all just a fluke or if Ryan’s his soulmate. 

And Ryan, okay. All this time Gavin’s been translating his flubs and whatnot for the others, so when Ryan tries to ask Gavin if he just said what he thinks he did, he flubs big time. So badly the others aren’t sure those were actual words?

But Gavin is blushing like crazy and he’s got this look on his face and then the two of them are kissing and oh, jfc, could you two idiots _not_? Ugh.

(They totally use it to their advantage when they get their shit sorted out. The best unbreakable code Los Santos has ever seen because it was created by complete idiots.)

[Because (more) reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177003931276/milkteaghost-replied-to-your-post-god-ok-so-i)

_**milkteaghost** : oh my god or battle buddies where ryan can understand jeremys hap haps_

Lmao, I’m just picturing Ryan joining the crew first, and everyone’s used to his weirdness? And they need an extra gun, so Ryan suggests Jeremy and everything seems perfectly normal, right? (Except for Jeremy’s sense of fashion, but really, they’re all monsters in that department.)

But then they hear hap happping over the comms and Ryan being like “What’s that? There’s a sniper in the rafters?” Or “The cops set up a roadblock?” and “Well, sure. You have a point, but where would we even get a llama?”  


Everyone asking Ryan if he can actually understand Jeremy, and Ryan being like, “Jesus, how can you even ask something like that? Try using some tact, assholes.”


	56. Drone Shenanigans (Gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177143068796/i-can-see-the-new-gta-v-video-happening-in-the)

I can see the [new GTA V ](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-gta-blimp-country)video happening in the FAHC so easily?

Trevor brings in a drone B-Team put together for crew to be used in future heists and such? 

It has absolutely nothing to do with Jeremy’s love of the Twitch’s zap-drone in Rainbow Six Siege and drunken ramblings from him one night about how useful ~~fucking fun~~ it would be to have something like that.Or, you know. That time the crew was pinned down by the cops and there was an open window and wow would it have been great to zap one of those fuckers. (It also was not cobbled together from a drone they got at the local Best Buy and a zappy-zap they had laying around in some drunken bit of creativity, no.)

But they need to do a little test run because this is a prototype, guys, and no one’s sure how effective it would be in practice. If it works they’ll use proper funding to make one. (As in, no duct tape Probably.)

So.

They head out to the airfield and do the first test run with Gavin being volunteered - guy showed up fifteen minutes late to the meeting with Starbucks, so of course he has no idea what he’s in for. (The way the others can’t stop bloody giggling is a bit of a tell, though, and don’t think he can’t see Ryan checking his list of muggers to see if anyone’s available.)

And then the zapping commences and he’s like, “Ah, yes, should have known, really.”

From there it’s a matter of seeing how the strongly the zap affects people with of varying body weights and whatnot - pain tolerance, sheer pig-headed stubbornness and turns into them fucking around for the hell of it. 

Also, blimps show up at some point because why not, really.


	57. Ridiculous Romcom scenario

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177359228011/that-coffee-shopbookstorebakerydiner-au)

That coffee shop/bookstore/bakery/diner/??? AU where Cupid, or a Cupid recently graduated from the Cupid School of Arts or Cupid Tech sets up shop expecting to have a successful matchmaking career?

[[MORE]]

They wrote a paper on the premise that earned them a sponsor or whatever thinking it's a good investment, right? That it's a great way to reinvigorate the Cupid industry. (None of them realize this paper was written using "research papers" that was in fact fanfic. The Cupid writing the paper was so sleep-deprived and inexperienced with human customs that they assumed it was all based on fact and whatnot, because reasons.)

They open their little coffee shop/bookstore/bakery/diner/??? and get tired, dead inside students looking for a quiet place to study. Absolutely none of them are interested in looking for love.

The poor Cupid who poured their heart into this business gets frustrated/disheartened and the other Cupids working with them are all very supportive. Patting them on the shoulder, offering reassurance, bringing them their favorite drink/baked good and sitting with them while it rains gently outside. (Bad weather keeping their usual clients away so it's just them and this cozy atmosphere, radio down low, that stray they adopted and turned into a mascot purring.)

And like.

The Cupids fall in love with each other while the humans play matchmaker and later it turns out several of the humans are already involved with each other and didn't tell the Cupids. Because, you know, watching the Cupids try to set them up was freaking hilarious.

(After the Cupids get their shit sorted out they actually get decent work setting up hapless humans who wander into their coffee shop/bookstore/bakery/diner/??? and everyone gets their happily ever after because of course they do.)


	58. Angst tropes in immortal AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177431042731/so-all-those-great-angsty-tropes-but-in-an)

So all those great angsty tropes, but in an immortal FAHC AU, right?

[[MORE]]

The one where someone in the crew is ~betraying the Fakes to one of their rivals as part of a Master Plan to find out what the rival crew is planning. The Rival crew leader tells them if they want to be trusted they have to prove their loyalty. They bring in a Fake they caught just that morning and tells them to kill them to prove they can be trusted.

The rival crew leader doesn't expect them to go through it, sees it as way to get rid of two Fakes with one stone or whatever, but the one in the part of Betrayer just shoots the other Fake without batting an eye, all, "I don't have all day to jump through hoops for you."

Or the one where one of the baddies has a gun to the head of a Fake and one of the others can't get a good shot, so they just shoot their buddy, a ls Speed, only you know. With more temporary death.

Or the one where they're in a standoff with the cops or another crew and do their Last Stand BS, and the rest of the Fakes stop by the morgue later to pick them up.

OR. The one with the mind control and no one catches on until it's too late and the mind-controlled Fake takes a few of the others out before someone drops them.

The baddie behind the mind control is like EXCELLENT and then wakes up to the Fakes in the middle of the night because the mind control is ~conveniently broken when the one mind controlled dies (~angst) so now the baddie gets to deal with a pissed off Fake AH Crew.

Just like. ALL those angsty tropes where a heroic sacrifice usually comes into play and whatnot and they're just like. "Eh, okay." 

And then later comes the bickering like "Oh my God, did you really have to  shoot me in the heart? I liked that shirt!"  or "Mind controlled <i>again</i>? Come on, man," and so on.


	59. Stargate AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/177592381266/the-last-two-minecraft-videos-be-i-pimping-and)

The Last two Minecraft videos ([Be I Pimping?](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-327) and [Duvet Bidet](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-328)) really make me want that Stargate crossover?

You have your “Smart People” and “Dig Squad”, which so easily translates into the science nerds and their military teammates/escorts.

Dig Squad and whoever else get the duty of babysitting the Smart People geeking out over alien tech they’ve discovered or some new planet with never before seen flora and fauna. 

Michael and Lindsay and Alfredo teasing their science geeks - and saving them from themselves/alien attacks/whatever the major tropes were in the Stargate fandom I’ve forgotten because it’s been years.

So may ship possibilities?

Myan? DONE. Mavinwood? Also done. Jeremavinwood, ambitious but imagine the ~angst as these idiots realize they’re totally in lurve (also I’m for it). 

Lindsay and that hot scientist Meg? (Or like anyone?) Super doneso. 

Forever suffering Geoff and his confidant/horrible friend Jack? Why the fuck not? (Geoff and his old buddy Burnie who is some hotshot politician in DC who keeps the Stargate program from imploding with the asshats meddling with it all the damn time? My God, _yes_. Other ships I can’t think of right now? The sky’s the limit111!)

But please consider this in particular:

New to the program Alfredo crushing on that dashing Dr. Collins? (Who is equally hapless in the romance department - and okay, no, there is no one in the entire damn program who isn’t a romantic disaster.)

Geoff as Colonel O’Neill and Jack as the Only Sane Man clearly out to drive Geoff insane?

It’s like a neverending soap opera with these assholes and I love it, okay?

You want other RT groups involved? Do you even know how many Stargate Teams there were my friends? Because there were lots of them. Everyone’s welcome, and hey, if you want to have this charming group of rogues space pirates or just bizarre aliens? Stargate is you BFF.

Just ~imagine the glorious possibilities.

  


* * *

  


[ **No Yesterdays** ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1146395)


	60. Bumbling Burglar AU (Ramwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178042699661/that-ramwood-au-where-ryan-is-this-adorable)

That Ramwood AU where Ryan is this adorable bumbling burglar pestering Geoff all the time? (Based on the Minecraft videos where he’s trying to steal from Geoff’s store.)

His ~plans have clearly been taken from a children’s show because what the hell, Ryan?

But then Geoff gets kidnapped or whatever and there’s Ryan to the rescue. Looking like an idiot and what the fuck, dude? You’re going to get yourself killed. 

More importantly, you’re going to get _me_ killed!

Ryan just humming under his breath and being all smiley as he disarms the booby traps around Geoff  (lol, _traps_ ) and gets him out of his little predicament and up on the roof of the building without anyone noticing. 

Geoff staring at him as Ryan watches the cop cars pull up in front of the building like >:D

(And when later Geoff demands answers Ryan just shrugs because pestering Geoff is a hobby. Geoff just being so >:(((((((((( at him he kisses Ryan to get the smug off his face, but because this is Ryan it doesn’t work the first time. Or the one after that, and really, it’s a work in progress but Geoff’s totally going to succeed one day, just you watch, Haywood.)


	61. Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178189580171/so-jack-bag-4-the-extended-freewood)

I mean, that whole section was so glorious I was *________* the whole time because you have your ~adorable immortal FAHC shenanigans, right? 

Build this bizarre murder course and play stabby stab with each other for funsies.

And then there’s the one with Ryan and Gavin betraying the crew (Gavin taking Michael out, and Ryan killing Jack right after each other was beautiful) for whatever reason. 

There’s also the one pre-FAHC where they’re freelancers in Los Santos and get hired take each other out and team up later and eventually join the Fakes.  (I’m so weak for that trope, I can’t help it.) 

OR the one where it’s a Mr. & Mrs. Smith situation, because Gavin in his Tron outfit with the helmet and all and Ryan with the Vagabond’s mask. They’re all lovey-dovey couple with the marriage that’s lost its spark until they get hired to kill each other - or one they get separate missions with conflicting goals.

Ryan’s meant to protect Geoff or someone else, and Gavin’s supposed to kill him/them, and the whole cat and mouse game that comes down to a knife fight on a roof somewhere, because ~drama. 

Ryan loses his mask - Gavin cuts through the mask or something else and he rips it off because it’s compromising his vision, and Gavin is like SHIT because it’s *RYAN* (meanwhile, Ryan’s still trying to kill him because he doesn’t know it’s Gavin and this is a odd turn of events, isn’t it). 

Or maybe Gavin loses his helmet, Ryan cracks the visor and Gavin can’t see, so he gets rid of it and Ryan’s like SHIT because that’s Gavin and jfc, what even is his life? Also, Gavin is still trying to kill him and that’s not great.

OR. IDK, it’s all part of the Woven Threads AU where they get the rest of the crew in on their “survival training” and it all culminates in this battle royale on a roof. Everyone tagging out to watch Ryan and Gavin and their knife fight and realizing that Gavin is scarier than previously expected.

OR. The AU where Gavin’s a former Hitman and Ryan was from a rival agency or whatever else, and they either knew each other by reputation but never had the luck to meet in person. (Or they had this friendly rivalry going on, thwarting each other and the like and this mutual attraction they never had the chance to act on, right?) They end up in Los Santos after leaving their respective agencies - one too man betrayals or they burned out, and they end up meeting again in Los Santos.

Start out on opposite sides, where they realize who the other is and have that moment of relief at discovering they’re still alive - rumors claimed they died on a mission or whatever, but no. They’re alive and well in Los Santos, and realize there’s nothing stopping them acting on that mutual attraction now? (Except for their current jobs, but it gives them the opportunity to go up against someone who is on their level when it comes to the murder business and is more foreplay than anything else. Once their current jobs are over they look each other up decide to try this whole relationship thing out, because hey, why not, right? (And then Geoff hires them and regrets everything ever because the two of them are this horrible chaotic mess.)

…to offer a few ideas. :D?

  


* * *

  
[Because (more) reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178190331251/miss-ingno-replied-to-your-post-so-jack-bag-4)

[miss-ingno](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/)

replied to your post 

>   
>  yessssss all of these are amazing and i cannot decide which i want most??? the tagout knifefight for threads sounds amazing but just the aNGST of the mr and mrs smith situation like!! *__* 

WELCOME TO MY WORLD ALL THE TIME FRIEND. (~woe)

I like the threads one because crew shenanigans, but omg, the freaking Mr and Mrs Smith thing kills me dead.  
  
Just like, that horrified moment – both of them hurt and bleeding and full of adrenaline and need to complete their mission and holy shit, it’s that asshole they married all those years ago and was any of it real? 

Whoever lost their mask/helmet just staring in shock and hurt and then the other attacks they fend them off and make a run for it when the cops or whoever intervenes. Go through things afterward mechanically – getting their client to safety and accepting their thanks and all that and numb because where do they go from here?

Do they go home and pretend nothing’s changed, or maybe the other one figured out it was them under the helmet/mask and both of them are reeling.

They go home expecting they’re probably going to end up killing each other – half convinced their whole marriage was a sham, that it’s been leading up to this and another brutal fight that tears their house up. And then one of them gets the upper hand and the one with the knife to their throat or gun to their head just gives up because they know they couldn’t kill the other one for all the money in the world, and if this is what it’s come to then that’s fine too. (Better it be them to kill them than someone else, right?)

The one with the knife or the gun is like, what the hell are you doing? Because (maybe) they could have killed the other one in heat of the moment, reflex or instinct or whatever, but now that they have a moment to think, to look this person they love in the eye, they can’t do it. (It’s stupid of them, probaby a trick, but they’d rather die than kill their stupid husband.)

And then the whole bit where hey, no, they really do love each other and sorry for trying to kill you but it was a little hot and also, ow. (Because previous injuries and such, but also the desperate kissing of two idiots in love who almost killed each other for plot reasons.)

  


* * *

<  
[Missing-no's amazing Ryan POV for this:](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10024433/chapters/37393106)

  


* * *

  


[Because (even more) reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178193988171/miss-ingno-vagrantblvrd-miss-ingno-replied)

Gavin has a knife to Ryan’s throat, blood sliding down the delicate skin of his throat, into his hair and those eyes of his locked on his.

His ribs feel like they’re on fire and his heart feels like glass in his chest. Cracks spider webbing through it and all it will take to shatter it is the right word from Ryan. (Hasn't that always been the truth, though?)

 _Sentiment_ , he thinks viciously. Stupid, naive sentiment that has no place in his – their – line of work. Had that drilled into his head from the the moment he joined the agency, that foolish things like that got good operatives killed, _ruined_  them. 

“For what it’s worth-” Ryan swallows, eyes moving over Gavin’s face with the weight of regret behind it. “For what it’s worth, it was real to me.”

Gavin’s breath catches in his throat because  for a moment, one brief moment he believes Ryan - _wants_  to believe him. To pretend this whole day never happened, go back in time to the place where they were happy, even if it was all a lie.

He – they- can’t, though, can they? No more lying to each other, masks gone and the cold, ugly truth laid bare, and yet. No one’s that good of an actor, are they? Can lie so beautifully, flawlessly to someone else for so long without slipping?

All those little moments packed in there among the larger ones. 

The way Ryan’s eyes glittered with amusement at some silly joke of his, the warmth in his eyes when it was just the two of them in their bed at night, reaching for him with gentle hands. (Sweet kisses and promises against his skin, and everything for Ryan, this man who’d stolen his heart from the moment they met.)

“What?”

It feels like the weight of their world is in Ryan’s hands even now, when Gavin has a knife to his throat and secrets to be kept still although he doesn’t give a damn about them anymore. (A heart in the process of breaking.) 

“I don’t regret it. Us,” Ryan says, like it’s the simplest kind of truth. 

Gavin’s not stupid, has been trained to spot a lie sprinkled among the truth from miles out. Knows how to twist words to his advantage, how easy it it to manipulate people who live their lives with their heart on their sleeves. How to pluck at someone’s heartstrings, use their kindness, generosity against them and leave them wondering how everything fell apart around them so easily.

He _hurts_ , bruises and aches and other injuries he hasn’t had time to see to because they’ve clashed again and again and again today. Dirty and desperate and vicious with it, looking to hurt, to kill, and nearly succeeding so many times. 

(And still it’s nothing to the hollow ache in his chest, the shill in his bones when he realized how close he’d come to killing Ryan – how close he is now, stomach fluttering with nerves because he still loves him after everything, doesn’t he.)

Ryan sighs, this soft little noise, and Gavin tenses. Expects a trick, a trap – for Ryan to attack - his reputation precedes him - 

But all he does is smile. Sorrow and regret snared around the warmth and affection Gavin’s seen so many times before ins his eyes directed at him and he can - 

It doesn’t make sense if their relationship, their marriage was all a lie. A way for Ryan to conceal who, what, he is. Hiding in plain sight and no one the wiser, including Gavin.

“I love you,” Ryan says, eyes closing as he leaves everything else in Gavin’s hands, covered in blood as they are.

Gavin stares down at him for a long, long moment, heart hammering in his chest and stinging in the back of his eyes because this _bloody bastard._

He sits back, shifts his weight, eyes drawn to the knife resting against Ryan’s throat. Imagines he can feel Ryan’s heartbeat, steady and strong under the heel of his hand, through his clothes, the thin layer of body armor. 

Pictures in his mind with painful clarity the moment it stops, Ryan’s death wrought by his own hands and gags. Pushing back off of Ryan to slump against the low railing around the roof’s edge and flings the knife away from him because he can’t do it. Can’t be the one to kill Ryan even if it kills him in the end, some clever trick of Ryan’s to gain the upper hand, win this fight and claim some twisted victory.

Gavin drags in a breath, and still feels like he’s shocking on it as he presses the heel of his hands to his eyes, wonders how things have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time.

“Gavin?”

Gavin shakes his head, thoughts swimming because this - 

“ _Gavin_.”

Ryan’s voice, careful, gentle, and his hands are pulling Gavin’s away from his face to look at him, something cautious to it.

And Gavin - 

“We’ve made a mess of things, Ryan,” he says, glass heart a beat away from shattering in his chest. 

Ryan’s watching him, frown between his eyes as he reaches for Gavin – hurt flickering over his face when Gavin flinches – but he doesn’t stop. Slow, careful, the lightest touch of his hand against Gavin’s jaw, thumb sweeping along his cheekbone like Gavin’s still so precious to him.

“Maybe not,” he says, like this is something they can somehow salvage, and the smile he gives Gavin aches with how familiar it is, how loved. 

Ryan doesn’t tell Gavin they can fix this, the two of them – doesn’t dare – but Gavin can see it in his eyes. This small, desperate hope that they haven’t managed to ruin everything between them, and Gavin wants to believe the same. 


	62. Hitman AU #4 (Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178358023301/watching-hitman-videos-and-that-au-where-gavin-and)

Watching Hitman videos and that AU where Gavin and Ryan are hitman(s) who run into trouble in Los Santos and Jeremy ends up helping them out, right?

Saves their lives or whatever intentionally or not and after they finish their mission and they’re left with that awkward situation where they should probably kill him???

But like, don’t, because they’re not assholes, okay? So they bring him back to their agency all, “Hey so, he followed us home?” and Jeremy is so confused about things, but also happy not to be dead? (Especially when everyone is like, “Okay, but you are super lucky they like you or you’d totes be dead now, FYI.”)

And then he just kind of hangs out around the place not really sure he’s cut out to be a hitman(s). (Work for a crew, sure, but this is a bit out of his league.)

But then the bit where he accompanies them on a mission or something goes wrong at hitman(s) HQ while they’re gone. 

Maybe Jeremy’s off doing Jeremy things and someone targets him and Jeremy realizes that he, too, has what it takes to murder people for reasons that may or may not be shady as hell in a nifty suit and/or sometimes dressed as a clown. 

Like, a coming of age story but with _more_  contracted killing than you usually see. 

(I’m not saying people are cowards for leaving that part out, but come on. Everyone knows what goes on in high school okay.)

  


* * *

  


[Because (more) reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178402168641/in-line-with-the-jerevinwood-hitmans-au-from)

In line with the [Jerevinwood hitman(s) au from earlier](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178358023301/watching-hitman-videos-and-that-au-where-gavin-and):

Jeremy finding Ryan bleeding out in an alley, and the smart thing to do would be to leave him there. Not get involved and all, but the guy’s watching him. This little smile on face because it’s starting to rain and Jeremy’s carrying a bag of groceries and he’s going to get soaked if he just stands there staring at this idiot in the alley.

“Fuck me,” Jeremy mutters, and tucks his grocers away knowing the rats and strays are going to get to it before he can come back for them, but some asshole’s bleeding out in front of him and doesn’t even look like he <i>cares</i>. “Help me out here, will ya?”

The guy’s weak and uncoordinated as hell, but after a moment he manages to get his feet going more or less int eh right direction and Jeremy isn’t supporting all of his weight. 

He gets him to a friend of a friend who patches him up in exchange for a favor to be redeemed at a later point and Jeremy okay, he’s probably just sold what was left of his soul for this guy who passes out the moment Jeremy gets him back in his car, which is perfect, alright? Perfect.

Jeremy hauls the heavy bastard up to his apartment and gets him settled in his bed – and when he’s sure he’s not going to die in the short time it takes him to go back for his groceries – fuck, his groceries – he goes off to see if anything’s left.

And of course, of course, there isn’t. Maybe a few cans of soup or whatever, so he has to go back and buy more groceries to replace the ones he lost.

When he gets home the light the light in the hallway went out and he sets the bag of groceries down to check if maybe it’s some weird thing. Maybe he didn’t do it right the first time, holding on to some stupid hope that his luck isn’t that bad - 

And goes so very still when he feels someone press a gun to his back.

He thinks it’s mystery multiple gunshot alley guy, but no, no, it’s someone else. 

“I’m looking for my friend,” he says, and it’s a British accent, all soft and quiet and oddly out of place in Los Santos. “You haven’t seen him, by any chance, have you?”

Jeremy has no idea if this guy really is friends with the asshole who owes him for the ruined groceries or if he’s gotten in the middle of something stupidly dangerous here, so you know.

“Don’t think so, no,” he says, like they’re in a bar somewhere and this guy’s asking him if he knows if it’s going to rain again tomorrow. “Sorry.”

And, see, that’s just so very interesting to Gavin because he tracked Ryan to this tiny little apartment when the idiot got a bit reckless the other day. Finished the mission but damn near got himself killed and Gavin searching all over the damn city to find him, and now he’s being lied to. (It’s a little bit delightful to be honest, because Gavin saw Ryan’s suit jacket hanging up, knows he’s here, but didn’t have time to see for himself before Jeremy came home.)

Gun to this man’s back in his own home, and acting like he’s never laid eyes on Ryan. Head turned just so to get a look at this stranger who snuck up on him, but with the lights off it’s difficult to see much.

Gavin’s about to say something when Ryan limps his way into things, flips on the living room light and just looks at Gavin.

“Really?”

Because _really_.

Poor Jeremy not sure what the hell’s going on, but Gavin lowers the gun and Ryan doesn’t seem overly concerned about things.

And then fussing over Ryan by nor fussing over him – wouldn’t want him to get an inflated ego. Ryan being all fond of him and reassuring Gavin that no, really, he’s _fine_ , and Jeremy not having any of it.

“Uh, no, dude,” because sure, he’s fine now, but he lost a lot of blood and would have died if Jeremy hadn’t found him and should he even be moving around yet

And then, idk, shenanigans as Ryan recuperates in Jeremy’s apartment and Gavin settles in and Jeremy doesn’t know how the hell he ended up with two hitman(s) as guests, but whatever, it’s Los Santos. (Also, wacky shenanigans and what not.)


	63. Battle Buddies Quantum Leap-ish AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178419047991/i-love-how-battle-buddies-turned-into-some-bizarre)

I love how Battle Buddies turned into some bizarre mix of _Quantum Leap_ meets terrible generic show from the late mid to late 90s featuring mercenaries as the main characters. (Like a step up from the 80s trend of private investigators, but with more guns and mandatory episodes where they’d head back to the jungle because I guess that’s where mercenaries get their origins stories from???)

Anyway, I love it so much. 

  


* * *

  
[miss-ingno](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/)

replied to your post 

[“I love how Battle Buddies turned into some bizarre mix of Quantum Leap...”](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178419047991/i-love-how-battle-buddies-turned-into-some-bizarre)

>   
>  thought: battle buddies with fahc as the A-team 

The Battle Buddies think the fahc A-Team are the bad guys and vice versa. They keep clashing in these little skirmishes where grudging respect develops (because of course) until ~circumstances force them to join forces to defeat the real bad guys. 

(Someone on both teams accidentally/intentionally eavesdrops on their client/so-called “good guys” and get caught, and have to work together to escape and warn their teams so they don’t kill each other as per the baddies ~master plan.)

Also, obligatory montage building scene because [this picture](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178470739776/badass-assin-achieve-building-stuff) and the bittersweet, “If you ever need out help, you know where to find us,” line? But oh, what  coincidence, they happen to be going the same way, do you need a lift?

Everyone acting like this is temporary thing when clearly it is not, as evidenced by additional shenanigans and bonding via exploding shit. 

Also, freeze frame credits and whatnot. 

  


* * *

  
[Reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178518620866/its-that-anon-again-i-read-your-battle)<

 _YOU._ (Hello! :D)

But oh my God, the possibility for shenanigans is endless, friend!

It’s so beautiful because the Ryan and Jeremy of the universe the Battle Buddies pop up in are like, “Did you just see that?” because those assholes look just like them???

[[MORE]]

It gets even better if Hitman!Ryan sees BB!Ryan and is like??? Or BB!Jeremy sees Rimmy Tim in the FAHC AU and is like HMMM, That is quite the intriguing color scheme, I like it! While BB!Ryan is like, “Oooh, face paint? NICE.”

The two of them stealing things like that from alternate universe them until they’re this unholy amalgamation of ALL known AH AUs hopping across AUs blowing shit up.

The Battle Buddies are completely oblivious to whatever they just interrupted RE Hitman!AU targets or bank heists. (Oops, didn’t mean to shoot that guy. Or someone shooting at them, they shoot back, or oops and so on. Also, explosions just kind of happen sometimes, no idea how. Super sorry about that car of yours, or you know. The building? Didn’t see it in time.)

But also, imagine the full Quantum Leap route where they end up in the bodies of people in that universe to fix something that’s gone wrong? But instead of some ~random person, they end up in the bodies of their alternate universe selves?

So Hitman Ryan and Jeremy get a time out in the waiting room while the Battle Buddies are sent on a mission with Gavin to assassinate some dude. Gavin side-eyeing them SO HARD the whole time because there are more explosions than usual (also, the body count?) and just odd behavior in general.

The Battle Buddies not knowing what they’re doing there until their handler (or someone, idk) contacts them to let them know in the original timeline Gavin died to shitty luck and the Battle Buddies need to save him if they want to get one ~leap closer to home. (God, imagine Hitman!AU Ryan and Jeremy being told why they’re in the waiting room – and going stir crazy because that’s their Gavin out there and these idiots supposed to save him???)

Also.

Battle Buddies in the FAHC AU as the Vagabond and Rimmy Tim – like sure, they have to save the crew from that ambush the cops and FIB set up, but Ryan has a fucking mini-gun (BB!Ryan is not to be trusted with one) and Jeremy has all these freaking cool cars and this is a great universe, okay. (The whole being wanted criminals is a tiny inconvenience because cops and all, but mini-gun and sweet, sweet cars.)

Either way, imagine the Battle Buddies being dropped into the middle of a Minecraft Kings AU.

Like Battle Buddies meets Army of Darkness. XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Also, for angst!purposes only one of them arrives in a universe because that AU’s Ryan or Jeremy is dead and they get to deal with that? 

Or like. 

Immortal AU where they see the other one die and because they don’t realize their counterparts are immortal are like _jfc -_ and when they’re having that what do I do now moment, they get tapped on the shoulder and the dead BB is like, “So that was weird, huh?”

And then like, getting punched in the face because they scared the shit out of the other one and also, surprised them, sorry, reflex, and also, _how the fuck are you alive?_


	64. Star Trek (AU version 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178840594861/im-fascinated-with-the-star-trek-lets-play)

I’m fascinated with the Star Trek Let’s Play videos so much, okay? Just. FASCINATED.

But also, that Star Trek AU where the FAHC AU is an ongoing Holodeck game the crew plays. (I know the holodeck was a thing in the books in the original series, even you didn’t see it on the show.)

If they get killed during the course of the game they just respawn and they keep tweaking with the programming and whatnot. Plan new heists or fuck arounds with these new vehicles they learn about that actually existed or came from old movies and seem super neat. A few they make up themselves.)

Ryan the ship’s captain and Geoff is, idk, som commodore or ambassador (lolol, I’m sorry, diplomat Geoff makes me crack up) they’re ferrying somewhere and ends up just. 

Staying. 

He’s intrigued by Earth history and this era in particular and Ryan’s like, “Sure, sounds like fun.”

(I’m really Jack as either the ship’s doctor or counselor - either way he makes Ryan’s life a misery and everyone thinks Ryan’s lost is because c’mon, man, Jack is the sweetest! He’d never do the things you say he has. Not a mean bone in him! (Meanwhile, Ryan is quietly losing his shit because somehow Jack has tricked the entire crew and he’s the only one unaffected, jfc.)

They all agree never to talk about it outside the holodeck because it might raise eyebrows - these officers and high-raking diplomat partaking in brutal crimes and whatnot, even if it’s all pretend - and all that.

And at some point Ray transfers to another ship and they need a regular so they bring in Jeremy. Geoff has to deal with some tricky situation on a planet somewhere or is needed on a space station or something, so Ryan takes over in their holodeck simulation and instantly regrets everything.

Just.

The lads running riot and Ryan chasing after them like some poor hapless dad.

Jack off to the side _smiling._ Trevor being a terrible instigator. Lindsay inciting the others to greater heights of lunacy. Alfredo not really sure what he’s doing there until Trevor sidles over with this glint in his eye.

Ryan vowing never to pair the two of them up on an away mission because surely whatever poor planet they head down to will end up imploding by the end of it.

Just.

Ryan setting out to have fun with his ~beloved crew and ending up needing a vacation from what’s meant to be a fun activity in his off-time.


	65. Star Trek AU (version 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/178845774816/okay-but-talking-about-star-trek-reboot-aus)

Okay, but talking about Star Trek reboot AUs, Jeremy would make an amazing Kirk.

I’m torn between Geoff McCoy or Matt (honestly, Geoff as Bones kills me, but it also, Matt as the most apathetic Bones also gives me joy).

Ryan as Scotty, like mad scientisting his way around the Enterprise’s engine room and playing with his transwarp equations and. Which is also why I love the idea of Trevor as Keenser? Because he’s just like, *SIGH* whenever Ryan does something and gets dragged along and has the whole acidic sneezes when he’s sick. (But I am also fond of Trevor as the science officer, and it’s just rough picking between the two.)

Michael and Gavin as Sulu and Chekov because lololol. 

If Geoff is CMO, then Matt as Jeremy’s science officer or vice versa. (Unless Trevor is science officer and really, idek which I love better.  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)

Jack as the background bridge officer who is like “For God’s sake” in the because there’s always one. (Or Nurse Chapel, but that works better with Geoff as Bones so, idk.)

(He’s totally the one who writes the tell-all memoir when their tour is up under a fake name but the photo of him on the book cover is clearly Jack.)

Alfredo as security chief who is like “I would love it if we could maybe have any color than red for our uniform shirts. Just a suggestion.” in the shipwide suggestion box every goddamn day and still nothing has changed, this is discrimination!!1!”

Idk, just. Jeremy is totally down to wrestle with a Gorn officer in an area that absolutely does no look like California with his bare fucking hands. (Also, first to punch a fucker in the face if the situation calls for it, and can you just imagine him with the damn tribbles? MY GOD.)

(Clearly the ~casting is flexible, but like. Jeremy smuggling Tribbles past the command crew and being all ??? when someone asks him he just cooed while a Tribble pokes out of the sleeve of his uniform shirt. Tribble? What Tribble????)


	66. Heist shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179138480561/okay-but-all-those-movies-and-whatnot-where)

Okay but all those movies and whatnot where there’s  Heist going on, but to do the thing they need to steal an ID badge or whatever from a security guard/some hapless worker to get into the area where the Shiny Thing is being kept?  


But the bit where the security guard/hapless worker is part of a different heist and they got their ID badge or whatever from another security guard/hapless worker (I kind of want it to on forever like the thing where you put two mirrors facing each other).

The camera cutting to the ~slick criminal who just lifted the ID badge or whatever without a hitch and then a flashback to the other ~slick criminal doing the same a day before and so on for forever.

No one actually managing to steal anything because the ID badge was a copy ~slick criminal!prime made weeks before and idk, just, like. This endless loop of heist shenanigans.  



	67. Punny romcom (Jeremwood and/or Jerevinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179211254286/im-super-predictable-but-how-can-i-not-think-of)

I’m super predictable, but how can I not think of that one adorable romcom where [Jeremy is the guy who uses the sign outside his business in a small town ](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179210958831/rebelmeg-pr1nceshawn-punny-signs-this)to torment passersby with terrible puns?

~~He’s actually used the soda pressing one in a video!~~

(Just like.This idiot out there changing the sign and someone - Ryan, or Gavin, maybe both - are like, fuck. Fuck no, _why_. :(((((()  


They’re just passing through when they get  flat tire, right? No biggie, just put the spare tire on, but wait!

There was a flat a while back and they’ve put off replacing their spare tire for _ages_.   


The mechanic has to put in an order for a new tire because - _conveniently_ \- they don’t have the right one for their car. But hey, head down to the motel and tell Dooley the mechanic sent them, and he’ll give them a discount.

So they do, not realizing what horrors await them.

When they get to the motel and see The Sign and realize they have somehow entered hell, which is the only explanation for the terrible jokes, okay.  


And now they’re stuck at this little roadside motel with this this asshole and his shitty jokes and everything is terrible. :((((((((((((((((   



	68. Galacticraft with idiot immortals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179216029266/regarding-the-ending-to-galacticraft-part-10-and)

Regarding the ending to [Galacticraft part 10](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-334) and technically the beginnning of [part 11](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-335)?  


[[MORE]]

Imagine that with an immortal AU, okay.   


These idiots probably know they’re not going to die permanently so of course they’re like, “Hey, let’s go to the moon and then other planets! Sound great!!1!”

But then the whole bit where Ryan and Jeremy kept dying over and over again just to get the fucking portal built while Michael stayed in his rocket not dying like a moron.   


As funny as that part as, it’s also kind of horrifying i retrospect. What with the dying over and over again in front of their friends making these tiny steps towards their ticket out of there, and then the realization they were missing a block and were doomed to failure the entire time, because I’m fun at parties like that. (And you know, the fuel situation and everything else.)

It was like classic a _Twilight Zone_ plotline with the three of them marooned on the moon until the other get their shit together to rescue them.   


Or, you know. _The Martian_ , with less Matt Damon and more Matt Bragg and his horse, I guess?  



	69. Urban Fantasy AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179315450196/that-urban-fantasy-au-where-geoffs-a-magic-user)

That Urban Fantasy AU where Geoff’s a magic user whose tattoos either come to life or allow him to call summons he’s contracted with because how awesome would that be?

He’s retired-ish and runs this little bookstore that doesn’t get a lot of customers but still stays in business somehow. Has a little mini-fridge behind the counter where he keeps his diet sodas and this shop cat that’s annoying as hell.   


Loud, mouthy brat always causing trouble and one day this kid bursts into his bookstore carrying the damn cat by the scruff of its neck. He’s cursing up a storm while the fucking thing purrs, smug as hell about something,which you know, trouble.

And then, like. Shenanigans where Geoff just looks at the cat, beccause Gavin, what the actual fuck have you done _now_?

Gavin as this shapeshifting piece of shit who stirs trouble up for the hell of it, and like.   


Prophecies and omens and Geoff just wants to finish his book in peace, is that too much to ask, is it?(Jack, who’s working on potions in the back room is “Obviously yes, why do you always ask that when you know the answer?”)

And like, idk, other things.   


Definitely Trevor and Alfredo as shapeshitfting ravens who enable Gavin’s shenanigans.

Ryan as like this guy who wanders into all of this because he got lost and thought he could get directions and then just kind of never leaves. He may or may not be magical, no one can tell and he kind of loves being deliberately, infuriatingly unhelpful about the whole matter. (“Well either I am or I’m not.”)

Idk, I’m really more about the tattoo thing, and Geoff eyeing Michael’s because same boat, huh, buddy?

Lindsay is over there bonding with all kinds of dangerous magical creatures and causing chaos with various high-level spells she “just picked up somewhere, is that bad?” and could probably level the entire block without breaking a sweat.

Matt’s just a dude. (That’s it. That’s all. Just a dude. No one knows where he came from or why he’s still there. He just is.)  


Jeremy as a supernatural bounty hunter looking for the asshole who broke this seal that released some Untold Horror on the world and Michael glaring at Gavin who is like _???_  


And then later, “Well, technically, _Michael_ is the one who broke it when he knocked the urn over chasing me?” and suchlike.

...Geoff just really wants to finish his book guys, pls for the love of God take your impending apocalypse somewhere else. :((((((((((((((((((((((


	70. Dusk Boys AU version 2 (Freewood, Alfreyco)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179558744616/an-au-i-think-about-a-lot-but-have-zero-0)

An AU I think about a lot but have zero (0) motivation to write at the moment:  


That Dusk Boys AU ([based off this rambling mess](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/175938962861/watching-achieveland-3-messin-with)) where Gavin is the adorable freelance photographer new to Achievement City (I know I’ve never used it before but now is the time) who realizes the news outlets are willing to pay more money for shots of the Villain of the Week (VotW) in action.   


(He’s struggling okay, a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s got to do, even if it means being stupid about things and getting too close to what the VotW is doing.)

As a result he ends up getting captured/kidnapped a lot and is like *SIGH* when someone looks at him and goes, “Do I know you from somewhere?” seeing as more often than not Gavin ends up in the news himself

[[MORE]]

(Burnie who runs the paper and is like, pls stop being a moron, you’re going to be the death of me, I fucking swear.) 

Bonus points where he ends up with former henchmen as roomies in Trevor and Alfredo. Flirts (badly) with the hot guy at the paper after meeting him when they both got caught by the VotW and had time to kill while the city’s superhero team saved the day. (And if Ryan acts a little sketchy sometimes it may or may not be down to the fact he is a former super villain? Reveal to made for dramatic/angsty impact. Also, Trevor may or may not have worked for him back in the day. Something that doesn’t remember at first, but when it does it makes more sense as to why he doesn’t approve of this little...Thing between him and Gavin, because Ryan was not a nice man way back when. Allegedly.)

Geoff as this retired superhero - the politics’ll get you every damned time - who runs a diner with Jack. It’s a neutral space in the city because henchmen have it rough sometimes, you know? (Who’s going to hire some guy with that on his record? Like, regular crimes are fine, but someone finds out you used to work for Mr. Malevolent or whatever and you’re fucked.)

And sometimes heroes or hero-hopefuls are are coming to terms with a failure on their parts and no one judges you there. (Well, Geoff does, but it’s usually something to do with your fucking dumb hair or taste in music.)

Also, Michael and Jeremy as either cops/agents whose obs were created to deal with the fact they have fuckin’ super villains and superheroes duking it out all the goddamned time. (They mostly handle the cleanup, dealing with the henchmen and whatnot that the superheros knock the fuck out to thwart a dastardly plot.

Michael who is like >:((((((((( when he runs into that mouthy motherfucker Trevor all the damn time. (Trevor being like :DDDDD because Michael hates that so much.)

Just. Shenanigans and the like.   



	71. Battle Royale with a twist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179672274851/that-thing-in-the-battle-royale-stories-where)

That thing in the battle royale stories where there’s usually That Person who you’re rooting for even though you know they won’t make it because they’re not the protagonist? (You know the one, right? They help the protagonist out and save their lives at least once and in the back of your mind you know they won’t make it because the protagonist has to or it’s not their story. Also a bit of If Things Were Different they could have been a love story, or maybe a totally awesome friendship because everyone would be terrified of them in the best way.)

And then it gets down to the protagonist, That Person, and a few others and That Person doesn’t want to make the protagonist kill them so they so something stupid and get killed.

But like, in an immortal AU where once the protagonist incites a rebellion or whatever against the assholes in charge who thought the whole battle royale thing was a good idea they get this letter in the mail, or maybe a knock on the door and oh, hey it’s That Person.  


All hey, hello, so you’re the one we’ve been waiting for all this time, thanks for stopping that bullshit. :D  



	72. Space pirate AU (Freewood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Becasue reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179846825241/theres-this-space-au-i-think-about-from-time-to)

There’s this space AU I think about from time to time that I love a lot, but doubt I’ll ever get around to fully writing?

Starts out slow, with Ryan as this unassuming tech guy for a company somewhere.  


[[MORE]]

Keeps his head down and does his job and quietly goes about his life. Feeds the strays around his building and is friendly enough with his co-workers, the people he passes on the street, that kind of thing.

Upstanding citizen and whatnot, only _not_ , because he was a bit of a rebellious youth back in the day. Got himself in trouble that's stayed with him, all these records and the like that weigh him down, keep him tied to this uneventful existence he's living now.

Maybe there was an Incident, maybe people got hurt. Maybe people _died_.

And this is the thing, something to remember. Keep with you like an old memento, something you can't let go of for whatever reason.

There are causes worth dying for, the ones you fight for with everything you have, but there are just as many that aren't. (Or maybe you tell yourself that because you're young and scared and you have family and friends, still, who aren't part of this fight but can just as easily become casualties. And what can you hope to do against something bigger than you anyway?) 

He makes a deal, or has one made for him. Gets shuffled around for a while until he gets to this little out of the way place, colony world where no one knows who he is or what he did. Gets a job, lives a lie and calls it good. 

Lets time and the world around him mold him into this non-person with the same name, the same face.

The only people left who know about his involvement with this Incident are people with access to his records. Law enforcement and government agencies who sent him out here and the employers they carefully chose for him.

And, oh, his bosses love to hold it over his head. Keep him in line, and he grits his teeth and smiles and thanks them for it, because he's lucky to be where he is, isn't he? Not locked away in a cell somewhere, or _worse_. 

(There's this part of him, buried deep but clawing its way to the surface a little more every day that wants to ask them what could possibly be worse than _this_? But he bites down on his tongue and plays the part the way he has for years because it's for the best, really, don't make waves.)

And then comes a new tech guy. Transfer from somewhere, Ryan misses where because he's working on a project at the time. Just notices the way the he's so damn _enthusiastic_.

Smiling and friendly and inquisitive as fuck, always with the questions. 

Annoys the hell out of Karen a few workstations down. Alienates Robert who has the oddest obsession with infectious diseases. Something that's evident in all the keepsakes and knickknacks on his desk.

And so on and so on, and eventually he gets the workstation next to Ryan's, turns to him with that smile that Ryan's learned to be wary of.

Never knows if it's a terrible joke or one of his _questions_. (The reason Oscar asked to be moved to a different block a floor down barely a day of sitting next to this guy.)

Gets all chatty and Ryan tries to ignore him, manages it for a few hours before he loses it because that is not how science works, dear God.

And the new guy, this Gavin, is so incredibly _delighted_ because everyone else in this damn office is so boring. Work projects and meetings and seminars, and no one has the time for an innocent little hypothetical question or idle curiosity.

Ryan side-eyes Gavin, because there's nothing innocent about his hypotheticals and idle curiosity.

All his little _“What would happen if - “_ and _“What would you do if - “_ and _“How do you know if - “_ questions that seem ridiculous on the surface but if you take the time to parse his words, give it serious thought they're anything but.

But Gavin keeps asking them, and Ryan can't not answer them after that first time, and it goes on for a while. 

Turns into them eating lunch together, Gavin setting his tray down across from Ryan down in the cafeteria without bothering to ask if he can. Just sits down and smiles at him, spark of mischief in his eyes and Ryan scowls, because _no_ , but Gavin ignores him.

Gestures to a table on the other side of the room. Team of people higher up in the company who have security clearances and deal with things they're not allowed to talk about. (That no one's supposed speculate about, but try telling that to Gavin.)

“They look like fun,” Gavin says, because they're all very _professional_.

Don't bother with things like office feuds or passive-aggressive everything.

“Trouble, you mean,” Ryan says, because Gavin? 

He doesn't quite fit in here.

All the deliberate non-people who work here, and then Gavin.

Gavin shrugs, uptick to the corner of his mouth and goes back to his lunch. Tosses out random-seeming questions, hypotheticals, and Ryan sighs because it never ends with him.

Turns into Gavin showing up at his apartment one day, soaking wet because the weather on this world is still unpredictable despite everything. All the money poured into the terraforming project to make it something it isn't, wasn't supposed to be and the irony burns.

“Got caught in the rain,” Gavin says, as though Ryan can't put the pieces together himself. “Do you happen to have a towel I could borrow?”

All of mankind's scientific advanced, wonders, and still they fall back on the basics. Old ways being the best for some things, or maybe they're not so insensible at heart the way the news feeds would have you believe.

Articles and stories popping up every day decrying the folly of man, how their hubris will be their undoing. Relying on technology to the point they do, and again, the irony.

Still.

Ryan tips his head to the side, watches Gavin. Cold and wet and clearly miserable, hesitant smile on his face as though he's not sure he has the right to call on Ryan like this. Ask for a little favor because they happen to be co-workers. Share lunch together when one or the other isn't working through it for a project. 

“You run?” Ryan asks, stepping aside to let Gavin inside, because the man's an idiot.

Gavin looks down at himself, running shoes and clothes suiting the to typical weather here before following Ryan inside. 

Says, like it hurts him to do so, “Unfortunately, I do now.”

Ryan glances back at him, sees the grimace on his face, and squashes the little voice in the back his head that sits up, takes note at the odd phrasing.

There could be reasons he's taken up running, after all. Medical because again, back to the basics for some things, or something else, and it's not Ryan's place to pry, ask questions, no. (Keep his head down, play the good little worker bee, yes.)

And this goes on for a while, Gavin dropping by during his runs for a chat and Ryan letting him inside to take a break, a little breather because it's so damn obvious the he’s not fond of running but it’s not Ryan’s place to ask why he keeps at it.

And then it turns out that maybe he should have asked all those questions, because Ryan ends up catching Gavin at something he shouldn't be doing. Bag over his shoulder and gloves on his hands a guilty look in his eyes.

“Ryan - “

And this is a thing, you know.

That part of Ryan he's carefully tucked away all these years? Still there, insistent voice in the back of his head because this isn't where he's meant to be. Who he's meant to be, swallowing his pride to the point he’s choking. 

….and then shenanigans???

Gavin’s working for Geoff who is a space pirate/~rebel who’s fighting this huge conglomeration of businesses and the usual space opera ~drama sent to get sekrit files from this company Ryan’s working for. But then Ryan’s actually _there_ and he figures out who he is real fast.

Ryan tries to act like he has no idea what Gavin’s talking about, tries to get him to freaking leave before he gets caught, but of course Gavin doesn’t, and Ryan is all frazzled because look, okay. He tried this shit before and all it did was get good people killed and he can’t do that again.

And Gavin is just like, okay, and goes about his business anyway. Figures if Ryan doesn’t want to do this, then fine, he’s not going to force him He made his little speech and if it wasn’t enough to convince Ryan to help then there’s not much else he can do short of forcing him to, and that wouldn’t work so.

He goes off to steal some files or get footage of whatever is going on and gets caught and about to be disappeared somewhere the baddies can pry everything Gavin knows out of him and Ryan saves him last minute. (Because drama.)

While Gavin’s off getting himself caught, Ryan’s having his moment of introspection and whatnot because he’s toed the line for so long thinking it was the right thing and knowing it wasn’t. (But it’s not like he had options, okay? Loved ones and shit and he was trying to protect them but if he doesn’t help Gavin and the others it wouldn't have meant a damn thing and he finds out Gavin got caught and is like jfc, really? But he saves him anyway and they do their daring escape where Geoff and the others pick them up in their spaceship and have wacky, zany adventures exposing the baddies and the whatnot.

Also, this quiet moment after (another) daring escape from the baddies and Ryan wondering how the hell he even got caught up in this shit?

And Geoff wanders by and is like, “I used to be a journalist.”

Ryan staring at him because this guy with a reputation for being a notorious space pirate with a fleet of his own used to be a journalist?

Geoff just shrugging and tells Ryan that he did some pieces on the baddies away back when, and realized something fishy was going on. And the baddies came down hard on him, cost him his job and his reputation as a trustworthy journalist – framed him – and basically ruined him because killing him at the time would have been too suspicious?

So they turn him into this disreputable figure and expect him to just take that?

“So your first solution was becoming a space pirate?”

“...No?”

Ryan utterly flabbergasted by Geoff and his everything and this fucking crew of his – Gavin used to do camerawork for Geoff’s bosses, they worked together a few times. And fuck knows where Michael came from but he handles a lot of the work that keeps the ship running when he’s not helping bust heads and the whatnot. 

“Yeah, these fuckers stole the ship I was working on - _while I was working on it -_ and I dunno, just kind of never left? Seemed like kind of a hassle, and God knows they’d be dead in a week if I did.”

Ryan can’t tell if he means the ship would nee repairs no one else could do or if it’s the fact they’re kind of human disasters. (Both, probably.)

Jack got pulled into things when Geoff went to him for help pretty early on. The baddies caught up to them so it was leave Jack behind where who knows what would have happened to him (they knew he knew Geoff and so on) and so Geoff “kidnapped” him and Jack is likewise convinced these morons would die without him around to keep an eye on them. Also, he kind of hates the baddies, so that helps.)

Jeremy is some kid they picked up on a colony world a while back. (Moron tried to steal their ship but they stole him instead and dear God, the amount of time he spent thinking they’d space him if he fucked up until he realized it was a fucking joke and was like _*SIGH*)_  


He does most of the cooking and helps Michael keep the ship running and is totally responsible for them picking Matt up, which. Yes, okay, in hindsight a good decision because he’s saved their lives countless times since then, but really? Matt Bragg? _Ugh_. (Matt sighing because yeah, okay.)

Lindsay is one of their non-pirate contacts deep undercover with the baddies who helps them stay a few steps ahead of the baddies (And coincidentally the one who sent them to where Ryan was all this time, so who knows if that was intentional.)

Trevor and Alfredo either working for the space police or some thief syndicate who end up becoming allies with Geoff and his crew. Slipping them information and the like and doing what they can without giving themselves away.

And, idk, I kind of ran out of steam on this one but I think about it every now and then.

 

* * *

 

[Because keelerpeeler asked about the Freewood happy ending:](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/192708632)

Haha, I did leave that one out, huh? Don't worry, of course they get their happy ending where they expose the baddies and Ryan is like, "Welp, guess I betting find something to do now," and kicks around for a bit.n (Hiding from the press who are all over him and the others and holy hell, he didn't expect that?)

So he just does stuff for a bit, works for a company or does some contract work while he figures out who he is all over again and a year or so later he's out somewhere eating or whatnot and someone sits down across from him and is like, "Is this seat taken?"

And of course it's Gavin, right? All cheeky grin and this soft look in his eyes because Ryan looks good. Like he's happy with the person he is and Gavin just wanted to check in on him. (They've totally been talking in the meantime, little messages here and there. At first Gavin was worried someone might try to get back at Ryan for his part in things so it was a safety thing, but then it was them just talking, getting to know each other better without conspiracies and life-threatening situations.)

Gavin and the others just happened to be in the area - Geoff's not a space pirate anymore almost legit, but not too much so. He and the others go around sniffing out other suspicious goings on and getting paid for it every once in a while.

Ryan's watching Gavin who's watching him and this is almost-sort of-kinda a date after Gavin orders something to eat and it's almost normal? But hey, it works and Gavin mentions they could use someone with Ryan's expertise because they're not sure if they can trust some of the people they use to corroborate evidence and science-y things. Tells Ryan the others miss him being around, but not in a guilt-trippy way, and then he heads off because Geoff calls him up wondering where the hell he even went? He turned around and Gavin was gone, Michael rolling his eyes and Jeremy laughing and serious;y, dickhead, we're leaving in half an hour!

So Gavin leaves and Ryan putters around for another couple of weeks before he realizes that while he doesn't hate his life where he is at the moment he doesn't like it all that much either. Gets in touch with one of the others and asks where they are and hops a transport ship to their next stop for restocking and whatnot and wanders to where they're docked all, "Hey, so I heard there was a job opening?"

Kind of nervous because what if he read things between him and Gavin wrong, or they like him sure, but not enough to deal with him as part of their crew (the last time was extenuating circumstances and whatnot) but of course everyone's happy to have him back. Tell him Gavin's out on an errand but go ahead and put his stuff in one of the empty quarters and while he's doing that and figuring out where to put some odd little knicknacks he picked up during their ~adventures Gavin gets back and rushes to Ryan's quarters and just stares at him for a long, long moment.

Gavin had hoped Ryan would come back one day, right? But figured he probably wanted a simple life after everything was over or maybe one that didn't involve being shot at and the like on a regular basis, but then he _came back_.

Ryan not sure what's going on until Gavin walks over and smooches him, and is like _!!!_ at first because that was unexpected. (Super nice, yes, but unexpected?) And while Gavin's backpedaling and apologizing Ryan's like, wait, no, and kisses him back and they finally get their shit together while everyone else is like _finally_.


	73. Sailor Moon Vagabond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/tagged/sailor-moon-vagabond)

That FAHC AU where Ryan is a magical girl?

I don’t have an excuse for this because I just woke up and was like:

Sailor Moon Vagabond

There’s this beat up tomcat as his magical animal companion he found years and years ago before he met the crew. (Ryan literally dug him out of the trash and the damn cat decides to repay him with this.)

The others don’t know at first and Ryan has the flimsiest excuses as to why he goes off on his own sometimes (fighting ~evil by moonlight and whatnot) and the others are side-eying him so hard, but whatever.

I don’t even know if said evil like is Ryan going around dealing with the real scum of Los Santos, or monstrous servants of some Big Bad somewhere, but the others find out at some point and Ryan just points at the fucking cat.

(Also, Ryan can understand the cat perfectly, because magical girl and whatnot, but to everyone else it’s just a normal cat meowing so Ryan looks extra crazy.)

 

ALSO:

milkteaghost replied to your post: That FAHC AU where Ryan is a magical girl? I…

if it’s the full magical girl experience then once the others find out, they get to (or are forced to, depending on the person) have their own magical alter ego and now there’s a full team of magical idiots running around 

Oh my God, yes.

Ryan becoming the magical girl is the origin story for the Fake AH Crew in this AU! He needs a hacker one time, and some other time he someone with access to explosives he doesn’t have himself. Jeremy finds Ryan’s asshole animal companion after a fight where they got separated and calls the number on the tag on the collar and boom, suddenly involved in shenanigans. Geoff and Jack get curious about a about all the shenanigans and get sucked into the crazy and they all just kind of end up sticking together afterward.

 

ALSO ALSO:

 

milkteaghost

replied to your post 

“milkteaghost replied to your post: That FAHC AU…”

since we’re talking magical girl tropes, which one goes temporarily evil but switches back to the side of good because ~friendship 

I honestly can’t decide who would voluntarily go evil, but if we’re talking being grabbed by the baddie and given Convenient Amnesia/brainwashing where he becomes convinced Ryan and the others are the real baddies and he has to stop them, I choose Jeremy.

The bond of the Battle Buddies overcoming his case of Convenient Amnesia/brainwashing and such! (Ryan being like, “Thank you for teaching me what the strongest bond of all is, anime.” and being booed by everyone because no, Ryan, jfc.)

But also some major battle with the forces of ~evil where they all think Ryan’s been killed but in fact has been captured by the baddies. (And then you know, brainwashed and turned against the others because that is my fave trope as far as these things go.

The others all fucked up over Ryan’s death and then some asshole starts attacking them. Goes after Jeremy when he’s off on his own somewhere and would have killed him if the others didn’t show up. Little hit and run attacks that have them getting their shit together to figure it out and they set up a trap for him and realize that Ryan’s still alive and trying to kill them and all that.

(And the resulting dilemma of what to do about it and oh,man, Ryan was the strongest one and maybe a little blame being thrown around - they didn’t even look for a body, right? Didn’t see the point to it when everything went up in an explosion and Ryan was clearly dead and so on and then Ryan’s magical cat companion shows up and is like, “Okay, so, enough of this pretending I cant talk because you are all even more hopeless than that idiot of mine.” and they find a way to snap Ryan out it and save the day, because reasons.)

 

AND THEN:

milkteaghost replied to your post “milkteaghost replied to your post “milkteaghost replied to your…”

heck yeah, the power of anime saves the day. but also i like to imagine geoff getting tired of the idiots he works with and turning ‘evil’ except really he just wants the chance to troll them a bit without the weird talking cat smacking him (and so begins the appearance of wii u geoff) 

Oh, yeah, okay that would absolutely happen. He puts together some ridiculous “disguise” that works from a distance but the moment he gets close they’re like, “Oh, it’s just Geoff,” which just makes him put more effort into his super duper evil plots. For real, you assholes! >:((((((


	74. Minecraft Galacticraft AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/180661556391/vagrantblvrd-the-new-minecraft-video-has-killed)

The [new Minecraft video](https://roosterteeth.com/episode/let-s-play-2018-minecraft-341)has killed me, I am dead.

Watching it again and also? (Spoilers under the read more so like watch out for that, I guess? But also that one AU. You know the one.)

Geoff and that little coffee shop he runs in/nearby Galacticraft NASA who ends up hiring Michael and Trevor to help run it?

Their favorite customers Ryan, Jack, and Jeremy who are clearly crazy because honestly, and various shenanigans involving landscaping and Ryan’s inability to visit the moon/other planets without something going horribly wrong.

Lindsay, Matt, and Alfredo show up from time to time- no one knows what they do, but goddamn is it always entertaining.

Gavin is NASA’s cryptid. Many know of him, few have actually seen him.


	75. ~Dark Lifeinvader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181178515226/i-was-watching-rvb-again-feels-and-the-whole)

was watching RvB again (FEELS) and the whole thing with Basebook, but in GTA V.

Sure, Lifeinvader is the GTA 5 equivalent, but you can’t really plan a heist or whatever on there. (I mean, you could, but cops???)

So someone creates ~Dark Lifeinvader as a joke, right?

It’s the exact same thing, but you can arrange for a hit on someone and get interested queries from people interested in killing some asshole for you, that kind of thing.

Got a heist planned for a certain day and you don’t want to step on anyone’s toes? Make an announcement, and so on.

There’s also a ~Dark Yelp and other things too, because it’s hilarious to me. Someone killed the asshole you wanted dead, great. They do it in a way you asked them not to/any other reason, you knock points off and they find it harder to get work until they get their shit together.

And like, ~Dark Craigslist too, for those looking for new recruits - and Geoff’s story about how he got the Vagabond to sign on with the crew.

Crews and gangs have fan pages, and whatnot. (A quarter of the people on there are normal civilians who thinks one of them is hot or was nice to them that one time and so on.)

But then you’ve also got these criminal types who post about some new recipe they tried. Or a new car. (Stolen or otherwise, that’s not the point.)

Just these idiots hanging out and posting about what’s going on in their life like normal people, except that every so often you’ll come across a selfie of them in the middle of a heist. Or robbing a convenience store. (Running from the cops, #highspeed chase, etc, etc, etc.)

Every so often someone who is obviously a cop tries to ingratiate themselves with everyone on ~Dark Lifeinvader. Half the time they get exposed and give up, the other half everyone pretends they’re 100% fooled and lead them on until the cops show up to what they think is going to be some kind of drugs/weapons/whatever deal, and it’s some school bake sale. Or they get busted by another set of cops who have no clue what’s going on.

Just, like.

Shenanigans in the FAHC with social media, idk.


	76. No fridging zone (Mavinwood)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181240625241/i-cant-find-it-but-that-post-about-the-one-with)

I can’t find it, but that post about the one with the guy who talks about their SO/spouse ALL the time and everyone thinks they’re dead? (That the guy is fueled by thoughts of one day getting revenge for their SO/spouse’s murder or whatever?

And it makes me want that FAHC AU where the Vagabond joins the crew and everyone thinks he’s that guy, right? Has that band of pale skin on his hand where there clearly used to be a ring. (Maybe he wears it on a chain around his neck now.)

Every so often he’ll go off on his own for few days. He gets melancholy when it rains, or certain times of the year. (Mutter something about a birthday - everyone knows it’s not Ryan’s, so it must be his SO/spouse’s - or around the holidays.)

It goes on like that for a while, a year or to, and Michael who is usually like, “Oh, shit,” when Ryan gets all sad and tries to cheer him up/keep him company so he’s not alone realizes he’s got FEELS for the guy.

And then he calls Gavin who’s been helping Burnie and the Roosters with a problem or maybe in England with Dan and tells him all about it, because Gavin will understand. They’re BFFs and maybe had an on again, off again thing a while back that never seemed to work out but they’re still BFFs, whatever.

Gavin is like “…huh” because he is totally Ryan’s SO/spouse but no one else relaizes? (Gavin talked about this guy he was seeing but never named names because Ryan’s a paranoid git.)

But because Ryan has also been telling Gavin that he’s got FEELs for Michael and Gavin is like, “Well then do something about it, you big dummy,” and Ryan hasn’t because he’s not sure Michael would reciprocate and what if he does but does’t want to be in a relationship with Ryan AND Gavin, and really, everything’s fine as it is.REALLY.

(Gavin is dying over how stupid these two idiots are, he really is.)

So he tells Michael to freaking talk to Ryan and vice versa, see if they’re on the same page about their FEELS for each toher first. (He’s going to be back in Los Santos soon, they can figure things out past the initial FEELs then, right?)

Only somehow there’s a miscommunication wherein Ryan never gets to tell Michael that his SO/spouse is still alive (that it’s Gavin) because he thought they all knew? (Like, really. The same birthday, and he’s let slip enough things they should have figured it out by now? And when did he say his SO/spouse was dead? And he thinks things are fine on that end, and hey, Michael has FEELs for him too! :DDDDD

(Likewise, Gavin thought Micahel knew/had figured it out and didn’t think to clarify since he was sleep-deprived from whatever he was working on half the time and thought everyone knew what was going on.)

But then something happens and Gavin has to stay away longer, but in the meantime Ryan and Michael are going on dates and figuring things out and it’s very adorable romcom, right?

And then a heist goes wrong or just bad luck where Michael gets hurt and Ryan’s like, “Hey, why don’t you stay at my place where I can keep an eye on you?” (Because conveniently the others are busy making sure the cops don’t find them/hiding out at safehouse/whatever/plot reasons.)

Michael does, because wow, convenient! (???)

And then Gavin comes home in the middle of the night and is like “Who’s been sleeping in my bed?” :DDDDDDDDDD (Thinking everyone knows what’s going on - he made sure Ryan talked to Michael but forgot he’s dealing with idiots???)because OF COURSE Ryan and Michael ended up snuggling (PLOT REASONS)

Michael is like WTF??? And also, ow, and WTF??? and it becomes this Thing with the three of them staring at each other like idiots.

Ryan and Gavin explaining that they’ve been married for a couple of years now (met on a job a few months after Michael and Gavin broke things off the last time) and just kind of never mentioned it???

Michael is like ??? because what even? (But then thinks about the times Gavin would take time off and come back looking obnoxiously happy. The time or two Ryan did the same, only he wasn’t obnoxiously happy so much as gleefully murderous (more so) and Jesus Christ, you two, because all the little clues and hints both of them let slip in the past make a hell of a lot more sense now.

But then he gets worried that he’s like. This thing on the side for both of them - and it’s never been serious on their part (he still likes Gavin a whole hell of a lot - refuses to say it’s love, because if it was, it should have been enough before, right?) - and Ryan and Gavin are just like SHIT, because it’s always been serious.

The thing with Michael and Gavin just didn’t work because something (someone) was missing and they didn’t know it at the time. And the Ryan and Gavin thing worked, but there was something missing there too but it was still new and then Gavin ended up leaving Los Santos for a while and it helped them figure things out.

But then Ryan joined the Fakes. (Gavin may have asked him to think about it when Geoff made noises about asking the Vagabond because he knew he’d be leaving and wanted to make sure he’d watch out for them for him, and knew without a doubt it would be a mutual thing - two birds, one stone and all.)

And he met Michael and things got super complicated even as they also started to make sense and really, they fucked up.

They fucked up because Michael is just staring at them not sure he can believe it’s all supposed to be nice and simple after all that. Like some stupid movie, and Ryan and Gavin are like, you do have a point.

Michael just sitting there, weirdly satisfied that they agree it’s all fucked up and can’t possibly have a happy ending just like that - what the fuck is wrong with him, he shouldn’t be glad about that - and they ask him what they can do to show him they’re serious, and he’s just.

???

And they wait and wait and wait, and Michael is like, ??? because he doesn’t know???

So they decide to do start over, do things right.

Go out on dates - all three of them or sometimes Michael and Ryan or Michael and Gavin. Sometimes Gavin and Ryan and Michael expecting to feel…something then, jealousy or d who knows what, but he doesn’t and it’s weird? (Makes him annoyed with himself because what is wrong with him?)

They have movie nights and other shit like that. Also plan mini-heists to Geoff’s deep, abiding regret and Michael realizing that oh, wow, hey, he has FEELs for these idiots and they seem to reciprocate and it’s kind of great???

And then smooching, because of course, and being stupid in love with each other.

 

ALSO.

The rest of the crew having no fucking idea what’s going on with the three of them, and when they do find out thinking Michael and Ryan are a thing, only to come across one of them kissing Gavin. (And the freaking out thinking they’re cheating??? To the point it becomes a Thing where the three of them are just like, “Uh, yeah. We’re a Thing. The three of us. Totally fucking like rabbits. Surprise?”


	77. Achievement Haunter/ghost hunter AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181262418671/i-still-havent-seen-achievement-haunter-but-if)

I (still) haven’t seen Achievement Haunter but if (at some point) one of those morons isn’t playing a ~Game of Wits with the ~Devil for someone’s (everyone’s) soul(s), I will be Very Disappointed.

Just.

Ryan sitting down to play a game of poker with Satan while Jack sits there a la Let’s Watch!Jack and heckles the fuck out of Ryan to the point he’s like “Goddammit, Jack! I’m playing for your immortal soul, could you please shut your goddamned mouth and let me think?”

Jack goes all quiet and “Sorry, Ryan,” and then one minute - one (1)!!1! - later he’s back to being that son of bitch like nothing happened.

Ryan throws his hands up and looks at Satan who’s been watching all this without a damn word.

“Look,” he says, staring Satan in the eye. “You win this game, and you have to deal with this for all of eternity. How badly do you really want to win?”

Hard cut to the next morning where everyone’s on location setting up or whatever and someone commenting that Ryan looks a little annoyed.

Jack is just, “Maybe he didn’t sleep well?”

While Ryan is like, >:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( at him and so fucking annoyed at Satan for folding.

OR.

That time Lindsay just straight up confuses a demonic being and somehow ends up being its new master or whatever the fuck and everyone is like ??? at this soul-devouring creature that is like. “Please, teach me your ways.”

(Idk, that probably went more AU than how the show itself goes, but my God do I want to see this shit.)


	78. Ryan's home repair business AU ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181400037216/okay-so-that-au-where-ryan-runs-a-home)

Okay, so.

That AU where Ryan runs a home repair/remodeling/whatever business, right?

(Because reasons involving him and tools, okay? ALSO. T-shirt that shows off ~muscles and tool belt and backwards baseball cap. And if he happens to take it off from time to time to run his hands through his hair as often shown in slo mo during movies and the whatnot, well that’s a thing that happens.)

But also, also.

Either a straight up romcom where he’s hired to remodel someone’s home. It’s a fixer upper but the new owner doesn’t have the skills/time and Ryan was the first one who wasn’t blatantly trying to rip them off? (And then ~romance.)

OR.

The AU where Ryan is a ~clever burglar who uses his company for cover (look, idk either) or a ~former spy who is like, well, I am pretty handy and this probs won’t involve someone trying to kill me?

And Trevor is there, because siblings/partner in crime/tech guy and laughing at Ryan the whole time because whichever AU it is, it’s also totally a romcom.

Ryan falls head over heels for whoever is like, “So my home is terrible and needs a big muscly guy like you to walk around distracting me from whatever I’m supposed to be doing.” and vice versa?

But then The homeowner has this friend or some such who is Trevor’s type and Ryan, are you laughing at him??? (He totally is, btw.)

If it’s straight up ~normal romcom there are the usual adorable shenanigans? But if it is ~clever burglar/former spy AU there are adorable shenanigans AND death defying adventures in which a nail gun is used as a weapon at least once, because terrible movie cliches.


	79. Hitman!Michael AU ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181477980471/i-dont-remember-the-video-but-michael-talking)

I don’t remember the video? But Michael talking about how to kill someone without getting caught? (Using some kind of anesthetic or something like that.)

So you either have incredibly successful hitman!Michael who no one ever suspects.

He’s just a self-taught hitman who learned what he knows from true crime shows and reading up on it, and doesn’t go looking for work but gets a decent amount of jobs from word of mouth.

Michael runs into official hitmen!Gavin and Ryan and Jeremy who are exasperated at how skilled he is. and Michael’s like “What, like it’s hard?” when they give him a hypothetical scenario and he comes up with this ingenious plan that none of them considered.

OR.

He’s an author.

Every so often he’ll mention some diabolically brilliant way to kill someone - like some Oceans 11 level scheme. Just all casual and whatnot over chicken nuggets or at a ~fancy dinner party someone dragged him to for whatever reason and something reminds him of it/someone annoys him.

And when someone inevitably asks him where the hell that all came from he shrugs and tells them he’s an author right?

“Oh, you write mystery novels?”

“No. I write like. Kid’s books. _Very Hungry Caterpillar_ kind of shit, you know?”

And the thing is, he does. Has this series about some cute animals going on ~adventures that are highly regarded and nary a murder scene to be found.

Also! The thing where he’s the successful hitman who has a day job as an author and uses it as an alibi. OR. The children’s book author who somehow became a successful hitman thanks to misunderstandings and bizarre series of events and he’s just like, well okay then, this is a thing I’m doing now, I guess.

Whichever one it is, Michael in an interrogation room giving the homicide detectives the most unimpressed look as they bring up his damning recent search engine queries.

“You guys never talked to an author before, huh?”


	80. The thing about the penthouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181499125776/random-shower-thought-today-centers-around-my-fave)

Random shower thought today centers around my fave hc for the penthouse in the FAHC AU, right?

All about how baby criminals Geoff and Jack live in a shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood. Barely scraping by and coming home bruised and battered, wondering why they live in a place like Los Santos and know it’s going to get them killed one day.

They see all these fancy buildings in the city – rob a few every now and then – and Geoff promises Jack they’ll live in one of them one day. Be a Big Deal in Los Santos, the kid of people no one dares cross living large in their penthouse with a view of the city and their stupid expensive cars. (One for every day of week, swear to God, Jack.)

It’s a Goal, Geoff doing the stupidest shit and taking all these risks in the hopes of making it big and for whatever reason it pays off. They get hired for bigger jobs and getting bigger cuts and move up in the world. Leave that shitty apartment for a slightly less shitty one and up and up and up.

Have their bad moments too, though. Run-ins with the cops or rivals gangs and crews. Someone who doesn’t like their face, who knows in this city? Terrible fights and times when Jack can’t deal with Geoff’s bullshit and Geoff’s left there angry at Jack for overreacting – he just got shot a little, okay? What the hell?

Or maybe Geoff crossed a line, barely stuck a toe over and Jack looking at him like he didn’t know who he was anymore. That kind of shit, but they eventually figure their shit out and make up, because they can’t not.

The whole Penthouse Dream becomes less about being a status symbol for them, a way to shove their success in everyone’s faces and more of a sign of how far they’ve come. That Los Santos didn’t break them and all that, whatever.

(They either buy it outright or take it as a spoil of war after dealing with a rival crew. The how isn’t as important as the fact they have it, right? They finally made it.)

But by then they’ve got Gavin and Michael. (Ray, when he’s not out on a job.) And the Vagabond is like a skittish stray.

These idiot kids who have shitty apartments in terrible neighborhoods (or couch surf or who knows what else) and the Vagabond who probably has a fucking coffin somewhere, who knows with him.

“Jesus Christ, pick a room,” Geoff says, because they’ve got a few spares.

(Besides, it’s convenient having everyone so close by when they’re planning a heist or whatever. Jack side-eyes Geoff because wow, talk about bullshit.)

The others stay in the penthouse until they can afford to get places that don’t come with rats and cockroaches scuttling every which way. They move out, but it’s understood that they’re welcome to stay at the penthouse whenever.

And RYAN.

God, Ryan is this idiot who doesn’t quite trust crew yet, right? But he likes them and thinks he could trust them one day. Doesn’t use the spare room Geoff and Jack have set up for him until a job goes wrong and he gets hurt.

Tries to act like wow, no, he’s totally fine, even though he got shot/stabbed/something between a flesh wound and landing in an ICU movie scene level of injury.

Geoff is expecting him to realize that he’s excused from crew activities such as robbing banks and the whatnot until he heals (like a sane person), but no.

Ryan shows up in full Vagabond gear to a planning session even though he’s about to fall on his ass and insisting he’s fine. (He is most definitely NOT.)

The others are like well okay then, and go back to planning the job and look over when Ryan tries to get up for a doughnut or whatever and almost falls on his face.

At which point they’re like for fuck’s sake, and after making sure he’s not about to die on him they drag him to the spare room set aside for him. Decide to finish the meeting some other day when certain people (RYAN) aren’t being idiots.

Start a video game marathon or put on some movies while Geoff cooks dinner or they order out, and a few hours later Ryan comes into the living room drawn by the noise.

Gets this Look from everyone and a plate of food and (later) a lecture about NOT being that kind of dumbass. (After that he’s stays at the penthouse from time to time and Geoff discovers that he doesn’t actually sleep in a coffin. “What the fuck, Geoff?” “Look, you go around looking and acting the way you do and you expect me NOT to think you to sleep in a coffin? Fuck you.”)

During all this the B-Team is a thing and they need space of their own, so Geoff claims a floor or two of the building the penthouse is in for them, right? (CONVENIENT.)

And some of these idiot kids have shitty apartments (or none) and Geoff only has so many spare rooms.

Clearly the only thing to do is take up more space in the building – but then it occurs to Geoff that he’s basically running a small business here.

His employees need amenities and whatnot – someone gets shot, they need a doctor or trained medical professional, and hospitals aren’t the best choice for criminals – so they need on sight medical clinic/whatever.

And then Michael comes in bitching about not being able to find a decent gym – talks about this asshole on B-Team with the terrible color scheme who has the same problem – so they get a gym.

It’s always a great idea to keep up with target practice and the whatnot, and God knows a restless Ryan is a terror. (Either regular restlessness or he’s recovering from an injury and isn’t allowed to do things like terrorize the city until he can do so without posing a threat to his own wellbeing.)

By that point it’s kid of ridiculous to put in a shooting range when they’re leasing space, so Geoff arranges things so they just buy the whole fuckig building and do whatever they want with it.

This whole time Geoff’s always “Look, it’s convenient,” and “I don’t trust them not to die on their own,” and “I’m not driving their drunk asses halfway across town” and so on, while he’s making a home for all these asshole kids (and weird/crazy uncle Ryan) with their hard luck/traumatic pasts/whatever he and Jack have somehow adopted. (Feed them once and you’ll never get rid of them.)

Making the penthouse a safe place for them to go – always welcome no matter what – and adding on to it as time goes by to make sure everyone’s happy there, and I lose coherence thinking about it, but like FEELS okay?

Baby criminals Geoff and Jack going from dreaming about living in an expensive penthouse one day because it’ll mean they’re finally SOMEONE to the exasperated parents of the worst kids (and weird/crazy uncle) in the fucking world and how terrible it all is. They should be charging the assholes rent, considering how much time they spend there, you know?

Geoff looking around and wondering how the hell they got there, and can you believe how shitty their luck is? Just look at all these assholes! >:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Jack giving Geoff this soft little smile because wow, yeah, it’s the absolute worst. (For reals.)


	81. FAHC Clue AU - Geoff/Burnie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/tagged/fahc-clue-au)

FAHC AU where they end up trapped in a real life game of Clue a la the Minecraft videos.

Possibly some swanky gala where a guest has been - _gasp_ \- murdered!!1!

The obvious suspects are the Fakes who were also guests at this swanky gala. They’re wearing flimsy disguises and awful fake names and everyone there knows exactly who they are but can’t prove it. (Because plot reasons.)

Police commissioner Burns and his top people are also in attendance and the Fakes have been taunting them all night.

But then!

The power goes out and in the handful of moments before the generators kick in, a guest has been - _gasp_ \- murdered!

Burnie and his people move to contain the situation, but discover the landlines are out and cell reception is spotty before cutting out completely.  


(Conveniently works long enough for them to find out they’re all stranded at this mansion in the hills above Los Santos. Mudslide or a bridge has been washed out, and crews have their hands full clearing downed power lines and the like inside the city to clear the road before morning.)

And when the guests are starting to panic about being trapped with a - gasp - murderer, Geoff looks at Burnie and _smirks_.

“There’s no need to worry, I’m sure the commissioner and his people will be able to solve this mystery and catch the murderer.”

The rest of the night is Burnie trying to kill Geoff with his brain - he so fucking will, asshole - while these ~notorious criminals run around using the absolute _worst_ British accents as they prove their innocence. (Even Gavin is using a terrible British accent, and he’s actually British!)

Random guests end up murdered, and Burnie is so goddamned mad he and his people have to work with the Fakes to find the real killer.  


Geoff absolutely flirts with Burrnie all night long because their relationship status is unbelievably fucking complicated, okay? This little cat and mouse over the years and Burnie kind of hates how much he doesn’t hate Geoff? Like how, how, is this asshole so charming?

Geoff is just :DDDDDDDDDDD because this is fucking hilarious, okay.  


And then the ~climactic finale where they end up saving each other’s lives and having a Moment before Geoff and the others have to leave before Burnie’s backup shows and try to arrest them? (Barbara and the others sidle over and are like, “So how heavily edited did you want our reports to be, boss? >:DDDDDD”)

  


...if the whole thing turns out to be an attempt to kill Burnie the Fakes thwarted by being complete assholes, all the better.  


_Especially_ when Burnie finds out - unravels the whole thing and discovers it was all a set up to ~lure him out there and kill him - pin the blame on someone who killed him along with other guests for unknown reasons and what a tragedy it is for the LSPD when the good commissioner has helped clean the city up over the years. (Thanks to info Geoff and the others fed him that allowed him to root out corruption and the like, arrest truly terrible criminals and the like and whoever planned his murder had finally had enough.)

Burnie has Geoff brought in for, idk, overdue traffic tickets or whatever and goes down to the interrogation room he’s in and just scowls at him. (Because really, why not just tell Burnie about the whole over the top plot?)

“Well where’s the fun in that?”

But really, not all of the people who died at the swanky party were murdered by the killer and the Fakes have a few less rivals/enemies to worry about, but Burnie doesn’t need to know that.  


He does anyway, though, because he’s not incompetent, but the Fakes are part of the reason Los Santos isn’t the cesspool it used to be. (And really, they’ve done more for the city than most of the people who are supposed to be making it a better place, so, you know.)

Burnie just sighs as the crew’s lawyer (or Trevor comes in with Alfredo pretending to be their lawyer) and springs Geoff.

When Burnie goes back to his office he finds a dinner invitation from Geoff on his desk and is like >:((((((((((((( because why is he like this? (It’s a lovely dinner, though, and Geoff makes him breakfast the next morning, so that’s pretty great too.)  


* * *

[Okay, but also!](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181545942921/fahc-au-where-they-end-up-trapped-in-a-real-life)

Burnie running into various Fakes before things kick off, right?

Geoff finds him on purpose, all >:DDDD while Burnie is “What are you doing here?” >:((((((((((((((((  


(Because seriously. Geoff and his idiot were on the news just the other day. Their stupid flimsy disguises fool no one and this is just asking for trouble?)

Geoff’s unconcerned and flirts with Burnie while riling him up until Burnie has to walk away or start yelling, which would make a scene, so.

He wanders away, and the refreshment table looks like a safe enough place to go, right? Maybe if he eats something he’ll feel better - breakfast was coffee and a stale donut, and he skipped lunch dealing with something or other. (Low blood sugar and all, might why Geoff got to him so badly earlier.)

Someone bumps into him and he looks up to see this good-looking guy, right? Tall and broad-shouldered, this blonde-brown hair pulled up into a deliberately messy bun. Unsettling blue eyes that he knows too damn well, and Burnie’s just like, goddammit, because fucking _Ryan_.

Asshole’s just watching him as he eats some ridiculous little hors d'oeuvres  waitig to see if he’s going to make a scene.

Burnie glaring at him as he jabs a finger in his chest and hisses, “I will have your goddamned Zentorn imounded if you do anything.”

Ryan raises an eyebrow at the threat (promise).

“That sounds like a gross abuse of power,” he says, tiny little smirk. “But I’m no expert.”

Burnie grabs some hors d'oeuvres of his own and gets the fuck away from Ryan before he does something he’ll regret. (Like fucking shooting him, Christ.)

He finds a quiet little corner of the room and people-watches, shoving hors d'oeuvres in his mouth when he spots the other Fakes sprinkled around the room.

Gavin charming some socialite, all wide smiles and bright laughter as he charms the fuck out of her. (Burnie keeps track, makes sure she still has all her rings and other glittering bits of jewelry when Gavin wanders away to find someone else to enthrall.)

Jack’s talking to some politician, teeth bared as he talks and talks and talks and the stupid bastard goes from looking vaguely amused to uncomfortable very fast. (Catches bits and pieces every so often, Jack so very pleasant as he mentions all these broken promises and whatnot the bastard’s racking up since he was elected to office.)

He sees Michael and Jeremy from the corner of his eye, slipping through the crowd unnoticed - they’re dressed the part, but don’t stand out the way these elite rich do. Might as well not be there for all the attention they get, and it makes him nervous.  


And then there’s Geoff again, insufferably smug as he catches Burnie’s eye because he knows it’s making Burnie  crazy trying to figure out what the Fakes are up to and just. Yeah.  


* * *

[miss-ingno](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/)

replied to your post 

[“Okay, but also! Burnie running into various Fakes before things kick...”](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181549377886/okay-but-also-burnie-running-into-various-fakes)

>   
>  flimsy disguises has me thinking like... fake beard and mustache. on top of the ones they naturally have xD 

lmao That’s basically what i was picturing? I was picturing Geoff with the magnificent handlebar mustache? But now he’s also sporting this rugged mountain man beard. AND. He covered up all his real tattoos with something [like this](https://www.etsy.com/search?q=nylon%20tattoo%20sleeve) and Burnie totes cannot believe this idiot is supposed to be a criminal mastermind, okay?

Ryan just washed the dye out of his hair and Gavin’s wearing like, idk, silver instead of gold. (Also, a fake prosthesis on his nose to make it even bigger - it was a gag gift from one of the others, but makes for an excellent disguise! :D) a  


Jack’s got extensions on his beard and is wearing a nice suit and whatnot? But [this is his tie.](https://www.etsy.com/listing/272295676/mens-necktie-hawaii-tropical-black?ref=shop_home_active_15&pro=1&frs=1)

Michael’s wearing extensions in his hair a la that picture of him with the long hair? And Jeremy is wearing his usual outfit, but in normal people colors.

Burnie is just in his corner quietly seething at these assholes - and then at his own people when Barbara starts things by going over to chat with Gavin. (And commiserate about their bosses with their ridiculous mating rituals. Miles and everyone else give up and decide to have fun because no one will ever figure out those assholes are really the Fakes, you know?)  


* * *

[miss-ingno](http://miss-ingno.tumblr.com/)

replied to your post 

[“miss-ingno replied to your post “Okay, but also! Burnie running...”](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181551933531/miss-ingno-replied-to-your-post-okay-but)

>   
>  lmao omg the tattoo sleeve and hawaiian tie killed me xD but also, imagine Geoff plastering a blond mustache over his already pretty big black mustache. just. that level of ridiculous 

YES.   


“I thought I’d do something different with it.” or “I had no idea the fashion police were real.”

Meanwhile, Burnie’s just facepalming wondering how the hell this is his life. (And maybe trying not to laugh as Geoff’s primping using the drink glass in his hand or some horrific piece of art on display.)  



	82. Undercover Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/181802502661/somewhat-along-the-lines-of-this-ridiculousness)

Somewhat along the lines of [this ridiculousness](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/179138480561/okay-but-all-those-movies-and-whatnot-where)?

But that agency AU where everyone goes undercover at a company somewhere that’s suspected of being involved with shady business. (Dealing with enemy nations, selling state secrets, something very spy movie.)

The company has a (suspiciously) high turnover rate, so it should be easy to sneak an agent in, right?  


The only thing is that they’re all from different agencies and they all think they’re the only secret agent/spy/hitman there.

Ryan’s the first one in and he gets placed in IT, and little bit after he ~deals with a baddie, the company hires totally not a sekrit spy!Jeremy for graphic design/advertising/idk.

And then somewhere along the line one of them gets rid of another set of baddies and Michael comes in, and then Gavin, and so on. (Every time they take out a baddie, one of the others get brought in by their respective agencies until the spy/baddie ratio is just ridiculous,okay?  


Everyone at the company is an agent/spy/hitman/whatever or a baddie, and no one realizes it. (Because reasons.)

Somehow they all become friends (also because reasons) and every once in a while one of them will stumble into trouble, accidentally expose a baddie and get into a car chase/shootout/action movie fight scene.

Their handlers are like “We still don’t know who’s behind it, you need to stay undercover for now.”  


So they go back to work the next day with a loaner car - their cover can’t just go out and buy a new car, have to pretend they’re dealing with their insurance company and so on. Or they walk into work looking like someone tried to beat them half to death or what have you (ahaha) and are like, “I fell down the stairs” or something equally shady sounding everyone else is like SURE.

And since none of them find who the main baddie is, they stay undercover for a LONG time. Long enough to suffer through various office parties ad other get-togethers. (Birthdays, holidays, etc., etc., etc.)

They get good enough at their jobs to get _promoted_.

Eventually the baddies realize what’s going on and the Final Battle begins.

Cue shenanigans as Ryan tries to protect Gavin, only for Gavin to reveal he’s a highly skilled hitman. Jeremy doesn’t want to reveal his sekrit spy martial arts prowess in front of Michael, who whips out a gun and shoots the baddie threatening them Indiana Jones Style.

Trevor and Alfredo are just Like That and team up - they waged a company wide prank war on the others and are not at all surprised neither of them are typical officeworkers.

Lindsay just does whatever and the building is suddenly on fire.  


Geoff and Jack bicker their way through various groups of baddies and at some point they all team up because might as well, right?

When they’re victorious they end up staring at each other across a briefing room table trying to figure out how their agencies (and themselves) were just that oblivious.  


And then they end up as a inter-agency task force because they seem to work well together and whatever else (because reasons.)

IDK, just the thought of like a million spies/sekrit agents/hitmen/whatevers undecrover at the same place at the same time and having no freaking clue is hilarious to me, okay?  



	83. Prompt fill: FAHC Jackael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182044766366/just-because-its-my-fav-soft-ship-i-wish-youd)

Oh my gosh, yes.

They end up in this old garage on the east side of the city, place the crew liked to joke as being part of Geoff’s mid-life crisis. (Normal people go out and buy a sweet little convertible or maybe  a bike. Geoff goes and buys a motorcycle clubhouse, because of course he does.)

It’s not in the best shape, but the only people who know about it are the Fakes so it’s safe enough for now.   


Jack got shot in the arm in their escape and there may have been a bit of a bumpy ride to the garage. 

(Gung-ho cops who want to take the crew down no matter what. Don’t care if it means racking up a major bill for property damage and thank God Michael decided on taking his armored Kuruma even though it’s not the fastest thing around.) 

And Jack, okay. Jack’s giving him this look as Michael drags him to the lounge area upstairs and sits him down on one of the beaten up couches. Goes to get the first-aide kit someone stashed here and sets about cleaning and bandaging Jack’s gunshot wound while Jack ~gently nitpicks.

“Okay, you can shut up now, asshole,” Michael mutters, because Jack’s giving him his Pleasant smile, and Jack huffs out this little laugh as Michael patches him up.

They keep their phones close to hand because the others haven’t checked in yet and they still don’t know what went wrong yet.

Don’t know if it was plain bad luck or something else. If their target got antsy and switched things up on their own, or if there was a leak somewhere. Someone realized they were up to something or on of their allies or contacts thinking they could get something out of it if they ratted the crew out. 

They don’t know, and the rest of their crew is scattered around the city with the cops out for blood and no one’s checked in yet, and who knows what happened to them? 

“Michael.”

Jack, all soft and careful like Michael’s one of the strays he and Gavin go all soft over. (Jeremy too, and Ryan, even if he still pretends he doesn’t have a heart. Geoff stays out of it until one of the little bastard gets their claws into his cold lump of a heart and then he acts like he doesn’t have a wobbly kitten trailing all over him in the penthouse or a mutt chewing on his expensive shoes.) 

“I’m fine,” Michael snaps, because one of them has to be.

Jack’s hurting and only has one good arm, and Michael’s a little battered, sure, but he’s got this, okay. He does.

“Of course you are,” Jack says, in the Jack kind of way where Michael honestly can’t tell if he’s being serious or looking at Michael like he’s a dumbass.

“Are you - “

Jack’s got this look on his face, right. 

The one he wears when he’s humoring someone he happens to think is being especially stupid but he’s far too polite to say so to their face. (And anyone who knows Jack knows that’s a load of bullshit, because _Jack_.)

So.

“Jack - “

“You’ve got a little something,” Jack says, reaching out to brush at something on Michael’s face. Touch light and careful, and when he pulls his hand back there’s blood on his fingers. “Right there.”

His face stings, and Michael doesn’t remember when it happened – how it happened. Somewhere in the chaos, flying debris or something else. (There are other little aches and stings and his hip hurts like a motherfucker after going out that window earlier.)

“You mind if I take a look at that?” 

Michael raises his eyebrows at that, as if Jack’s just going to let it go if he says no. 

Oh, he’ll listen if Michael says no, sure. But he’ll just sit there and wait until Michael’s not so wound up to ask again. Come at it from another angle, and by then Michael will have had time to calm down, stop thinking about how close things came earlier.

“Knock yourself out,” Michael says.

Turns on the tv and finds a news broadcast about the botched heist, relaxes a little because it doesn’t seem like the cops have caught up to the others. (God knows it would the only thing on tv for the next forever if - when – that ever happens.)

Michael gives Jack this _look_ when the asshole presses a little kiss over the bandage on his face (“Helps it heal faster.” :D)

Somehow, Jack gets him to play a game of darts - 

“I’m going to kick your ass if you pull your stitches.”

“Michael, _please_.”   


(As if he would ever.)  


\- and he absolutely does not get annoyed at the one-armed bastard who beats him ~handily >:DDDDD ( _”Jack.”_ )

They start to gets texts after that, the others checking in to let them know they’re okay and hiding out until things cool down enough to head back to the penthouse.

Look around and realize the garage isn’t a bad place, really, that it might be interesting to humor Geoff in his grand idea for a motorcycle club for a bit. Change of pace and all, and Jack supervises as Michael makes them a little nest out of the couch cushions and the blankets while they bed down for the night.

Jack is making plans for an arm-wrestling rematch with Ryan while Michael rolls his eyes because _really_? (And he totally does not kiss the bandages over Jack’s gunshot wound when the asshole falls asleep, just in case he ’s right about it helping the healing along. No.)


	84. Prompt fill: Agency AU with supernatural ~twist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182046366271/fic-i-wish-youd-write-agency-au-but-with)

Oh my God, I love this so much?

Jeremy starts out in this Agency AU as a cop, right? And he’s on a task for investigating ~strange homicides/missing persons, and things go Terribly Wrong.   


They’re planning a raid on this location – warehouse or some such and everyone gets separated, their radios fail – just all kinds of fuckery.

Jeremy gets attacked by someone in the dark and bitten – he thinks it’s some guy on PCP or something similar because who fucking bites other people, right? The guy will not listen when Jeremy tells him to put his hands behind his head and whatnot, and Jeremy is forced to shoot him because he keeps attacking him.

And then he goes to find the rest of his task force and everyone’s dead or just missing and it’s a whole clusterfuck.

Afterward his bosses are clearly lying about what happened, and he gets put on other cases and no one’s looking into what happened???

He puts up with it for a while, but the whole thing keeps eating at him until he looks into on his own, and his bosses find out. Threaten to fire him if he keeps up with his private investigation but he quits instead. 

Throws himself into solving this case – he lost good friends when everything went bad – and I the back of his head is this little voice telling him what a bad idea it is but he can’t not do this thing right?

And he ends up stumbling into this bigger mess that Gavin and Ryan are investigating with their agency.

Keeps seeing things from the corner of his eye – swears it’s a person, but when he turns to look it’s just a weird shadow being cast by everyday objects and the like. This black cat watching him from the top of a fence or some such, a raven perched in a tree. Some fuck-off huge dog skulking in the shadows.

(Strange that he sees them all over the city, but whatever. Weirder things and the whatnot.)

Slow shift from typical ~mystery story to urban fantasy shenanigans and Jeremy doesn’t realize it at first. Always has some explanation for whatever he happens to see, but even he has a hard time believing it after a while.

The baddies catch Jeremy when he gets too close and he’s dragged in to be the sacrifice in some ritual – summoning a demon or something along those lines because of fucking course – and this whole time he’s just like. Wondering what is wrong with all these loonies???

But then Gavin and Ryan show up to Save The Day, right?

Gavin’s got his knives – one’s got enough silver in it to give a werewolf a real bad night, the other has enough cold iron to make the fae think twice. Wood stakes and silver bullets and all kinds of weaponry for the supernatural creatures and whatsits.

“Really?”

“We like to be prepared.”

Jeremy is just like ??? because it’s Gavin and that fuck-off huge dog of his and he’s never seen that breed before???

Gavin is like _Jeremy, pls_ , at him as he’s cutting him free of the the ropes binding him to the stone alter (really, what is with these people???) and the dog goes to town. 

There’s a lot of screaming and whoever Gavin is, he’s not concerned about it, so uh. Thanks?

Gavin tells Jeremy to stick close while he goes after the leader of this group who had some sort of artifact and he does even though he’s not a hundred percent sure Gavin is a good guy. (But he doesn’t seem like he’s into the human sacrifice side of things, so that’s a point for him in Jeremy’s book.)

There’s this whole chase and standoff scene, but they catch the head baddie and Jeremy even saves Gavin’s life at some point – shoots some asshole trying to sneak up on him. Gavin gives Jeremy this surprised look and this little smile and Jeremy has this little _oh no, he’s hot_ moment that is super inappropriate for the setting so he just shoves that aside for later, because wow, yeah.

In the aftermath Jeremy ends up at the agency with Gavin and meets his partner who’s looking a little rough around the edges, but Ryan seems nice enough. (And not just because he shares the donuts he brought wth him.)

Jeremy sits around for a bit until Geoff wanders in and starts asking him how he figured the bit about the vampire coven and their demon master and so on and Jeremy is just like ???

“What in the ever-loving hell are you talking about?”

He just thought it was a bunch of weirdos or kids who’d seen too many movies and the like and Geoff just stares at him like he’s a fucking idiot for a long, long time.

Goes to the door and yells until Gavin and Ryan show up and they all spend a long time explaining to Jeremy that hey, wow. NOT a bunch of crazy kids, and also, how dumb are you?

Jeremy being ??? and !!! and then 

“Wait, I’m what?”

Because, look.

That time he got bitten? The guy was a vampire and how the hell do you not notice that you, too, are a vampire?

“Are you all on crack?”

And Ryan walking Jeremy through the whole Being a Vampire thing that Jeremy never really noticed?

He didn’t go out in the day much because the case he was working that went to hell involved a lot of night surveillance and so on. (Thought he was developing an allergic reaction to garlic, and so on and just all these clues and hints he missed – really loves his rare steaks – and convenient things because reasons.)

Everyone being amazed at how oblivious Jeremy is and Jeremy is like “So, wait. I’m a vampire now?”

Gavin laughing himself sick and Ryan not bothering to hide how amused he is – both at Jeremy’s Jeremy-ess and Geoff’s suffering.

Jeremy gets recruited into their agency – Geoff claims it’s to protect him from his own stupidity, but really, Jeremy wasn’t half bad at being a detective and Gavin and Ryan are willing to work with him which is like a minor miracle.

And the Jeremy realizes the cat he was seeing around was Alfredo who is a shapeshifter - “You’re a and fucking werecat???” and the raven was Trevor “A wereraven? Are you kidding me?” (More like the descendant to a trickster spirit, but sure. That works too.)

Michael’s a magic user and Lindsay is a literal trouble magnet. (More like chaos incarnate, but never leave her and Gavin alone for extended periods of time. EVER.)

Gavin is a medium who can talk to the dead and so on (and sighs at his code name, because Geoff is not funny but, yes, Phantom (lololol)). 

Ryan is a werewolf.

“You saw me back in the warehouse? The others frequently make dog jokes and leave dog treats on my desk? How the hell is any of this a secret? (No, really. HOW.)

They gave him the code name Vagabond because he gets prickly over being called a lone wolf and someone thought it was funny. ( _Geoff_.)

Jack is very human and yet no one dares cross him. (Fuck with him, sure, but they always pay for it.

Geoff is…

Look, Geoff is the world’s most long-suffering vampire and one look around at all the assholes he’s in charge of explains that, right.

Jeremy is this baby agent who is also a baby vampire and the agency mostly deals with supernatural cases, but every so often they get your run of the mill cases and Jeremy is like this isn’t so bad? (Also, Gavin is STILL hot and Ryan’s not that bad on the eyes and wacky shenanigans???


	85. Battle Buddies clean-up crew shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182146926036/regarding-the-battle-buddies-and-their-zany)

Regarding the Battle Buddies and their zany adventures through time and space?

I like to think whatever agency or organization they work for has a team of forever under-caffeinated and underappreciated people whose job it is to clean up after the Battle Buddies tears through somewhere.

They pose as FBI agents working on a case or whatever else would be most appropriate for the situation. Clean up whatever mess the Battle Buddies have left behind – literally and figuratively to make sure there isn’t anything to connect the incident to their agency/organization.

Do a little asking around to find out what the survivors and/or locals know about what happened and create a cover story people will believe. (Improper storage of flammable materials that resulted in an explosion and fire, faulty wiring, gas main leak that went undetected before an explosion, and so on.)

Sometimes it’s an airtight cover story, sometimes it’s a cobbled together mess with just enough plausibility that people buy it. 

Conflicting eyewitness accounts and such that no one can ever be completely sure what the truth is and it turns into the kind of ~mystery that ends up on shows like Buzzfeed: Unsolved and whatnot which actually works in their favor. (Somehow aliens are a more plausible theory than a pair of trigger-happy assholes tralala-ing their way from one bizarre situation to the next.)

And then!

After a while some conspiracy nut realizes there’s a connection between incidents, has this freaking murder board all about it with blurry pictures of the Battle Buddies in action through various time periods – blurry cryptid style. They travel to the latest location the Battle Buddies were seen and run into the clean-up crew and it’s hilarious Scooby Doo/X-Files type shenanigans for a while between the two.

A few more Battle buddies sightings happen before the clean-up crew and the conspiracy nut just kind of stop caring about being Top Sekrit and whatnot to each other and share notes over coffee before dealing with the situation.

Also, at some point there’s a pair of actual FBI agents a la Mulder and Scully who are all the Conspiracy angle of things until they too realize it’s just a couple of trigger-happy assholes and the clean-up crew aren’t ~insidious government agents, but rather a bunch of long-suffering bastards doing a thankless job and the conspiracy nut who has no idea why they’re still involved in this farce.

They don’t quite form a support group, but every so often they meet up to bitch about the Battle Buddies and have their agencies/bosses/whatever foot the bill as a work expenses because honestly, they’ve more than earned it at that point.


	86. Prompt fill: FAHC Mavin fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182177336956/mavin-on-n-off-relationship-fluff)

I’m going to make this FAHC because that’s the kind of mood I’m in at the moment?

Michael and Gavin meet when they’re just getting into the ~criminal life. This chance meeting at a bar or a club somewhere, a few drinks in them where they’re not quite drunk but definitely more likely to make a _fuck it, why not_ kind of decision, right?

And they’re both a little lonely – and hey, that guy isn’t half bad looking and look at that _smile_ , so one thing leads to another and they end up having a one-night stand. Gavin leaving before Michael wakes up because he has a plane he has to catch, but he leaves a note and his number. Little smiley face and an invitation to call him sometime.

And Michael, right. 

He’s like oh, okay, right. _Sure_.

But then a few weeks later and he’s having A Night. 

Maybe a little beat up and bruised after a shitty job and drinking himself stupid doesn’t seem all that appealing. And he’s just kind of staring around his dump of an apartment wondering what the hell he thinks he’s doing and notices his wallet fell on the floor, gets all annoyed for no reason in particular and picks it up and sees this little piece of paper poking out, and that makes him even more annoyed because now he has to straighten that shit out, right?

Opens his wallet and cleans out old fast food receipts and the whatnot and is about to crumple up that errant piece of paper when the handwriting on it catches his eye, makes him pause.

Fucking _Gavin’s_ handwriting, that dumb excuse about needing to catch a plane and the stupid smiley face. 

Paper a little worn, ink faded and smeared because there were other days, nights, where he thought about calling Gavin up, but didn’t. He’s a fucking criminal for God’s sake, and while he got the impression Gavin was hardly an upstanding citizen, he didn’t seem the type to get his hands dirty the way Michael has. (Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on his part because he doesn’t want Gavin to have to do the things he has, things he will do sooner or later, who knows.)

And Michael just stares at it for a long damn time before he has that _fuck it, why not_ moment and calls the number Gavin gave him.

Half expects it to be a fake number, Gavin fucking with him or whatever, but after a few rings Gavin answers.

Sounds groggy as hell, like Michael woke him up or something, and just as he’s starting to apologize for bothering him -

“Michael?”

He still sounds a little out of it, but Michael swears there’s this happy little note to his voice that stops him from ending the call.

“Uh, yeah. It’s me?”

He doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing, but Gavin hasn’t hung up on him and it’s nice to hear a friendly voice.

So…they talk.

Michael finds out Gavin really did have to catch a flight that morning way back when. Something about helping his friend with a spot of trouble back in England – he’s still there now, which explains him waking the idiot up.

“Fuck, that’s – what time is it there?”

Gavin laughs him off, tells him it doesn’t matter because his sleep schedule is all fucked anyway (Michael’s words, not his), but when Michael presses Gavin sighs – all fond and shit. (Michael has this moment to wonder when the two of them had time to become fond of one another, but it’s not like he has room to talk, so…)

“A little after three,” Gavin tells him, sounding more awake as he does.

Michael listens as Gavin putters around on his end of the line. Hears water running for a moment and these little clinks and clatters, Gavin’s muffled _dammit_ once when he spills something, and then Gavin’s asking him how things have been since they saw each other last.

Michael can’t exactly be like, “Well, I just fucking killed a couple of guys, and also may have broken my hand???” so he flips it back on Gavin, because no, he asked first. 

He did not, but Gavin just laughs at him and tells him a clearly edited version of what he’s been doing. Mentions his old friend Dan and these…business associates of his and a deal that fell through. Gavin coming back to help him and somewhere in there a kettle whistles and Michael realizes he was listening to Gavin making himself some tea earlier, hears him muttering to himself as he doctors it up the way he likes and cannot fucking believe how British Gavin is. (Like, clearly he knew Gavin is British, but somehow it didn’t really click until just now.)

“Michael,” Gavin chides, smile in his voice, “don’t be mean, Michael.”

Michael starts laughing, because _Jesus Christ_.

They talk for a little bit longer, and that odd sort of restlessness, whatever that’s had Michael all wound up eases, and he tells Gavin a – clearly – edited version of what he’s been up to. Stumbles a little here and there because wow, yeah, and Gavin just listens. Makes these little noises every now and then, but doesn’t comment, doesn’t pass judgment, and it’s…nice.

Real nice.

When they run out of things to say they hand up, Gavin making Michael promise to call him again soon and Michael’s like oh, okay, right. _Sure_.

Laughs like an idiot when he gets a package with fucking _tea_ inside, and a “proper” kettle along with this ridiculously painstakingly written set of instructions on how to make tea.

Calls Gavin up that night to call him and idiot and Gavin is like _Michael, pls_ as he walks Michael through the process of making tea the way it’s meant to be made and they talk for hours about nothing. (Never stops to wonder how the fuck Gavin knows where he lives, because yeah.)

They talk a few times a week after that, and when Gavin sounds like he’s having A Night Michael makes tea – pretends he doesn’t remember how to do it right and gets Gavin rile up enough to walk him through it again.

By the time he’s got his mug of tea in hand, Gavin sounds little less down, or tense, or whatever he’s feeling that night and in a good enough place to talk about what’s got him so fucked up.

Then one day Michael’s on a job, misses a call and when he checks it’s Gavin, telling him he’s going to be ~away for a bit, that he won’t be available for their usual talks, but don’t worry – like that’s possible – he’ll call him when he’s done with this pesky little Thing. 

Michael tries not to worry, but hey, it’s Gavin and of course he does. And just about the time he’s thinking about booking a flight to England – Gavin calls.

Asks if Michael would mind picking him up at that airport? He could take a cab or a rideshare, but - 

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Gavin laughs, and it sounds tired, and Michael goes to get him.

Gavin sleeps for the rest of the day, and when he wakes up he gets this _smile_ on his face when he sees Michael get up to make tea.

“Don’t look so smug, asshole.”

So they have tea and don’t really talk much – just a comment here, and observation there. Gavin mentioning that the Dan Problem is resolved, but there are new obligations now.

“Nothing to worry about, love,” Gavin says, and even though he still looks a little tired, he doesn’t look like he’s lying. 

(Not that Michael would know what that looks like on Gavin, but he has a good idea of what it would sound like and this isn’t that.)

Gavin sticks around for a few days – and that initial attraction is still there so one thing leads to another  again – and eventually Gavin has to leave.

“Obligations,” he says, awkward little twitch of his shoulder, and it’s not like Michael has any say in it, right?  
This time he drives Gavin to the airport, and bites back all the things he wants to say to him he shouldn’t.   

“If you need help, for anything, fucking call me,” he says, because that at least is safe enough. 

Gavin gives him this _look_ , all soft and fond and things left unsaid and kisses him goodbye.

Michael goes back to his dump of an apartment that seems emptier without Gavin there, and throws himself into work for a bit after that.

They still talk on the phone, all these things they don’t say, and every so often Gavin comes to town and they make the most of the time they have before he has to leave again. (It gets worse each time, and by then Michael’s past denial because even he’s not that dense.)

During this he’s making a bit of a name for himself, gets hired on by the Fakes and moves up in the world.

Gets a better apartment and shrugs when Jeremy and Ryan are helping him move and he gets an odd look for the tea paraphernalia – various types and little gadgets and the whatnot Gavin sends him now and then – and is just like.

“What? Something wrong with liking tea?”

Before he gets the chance to tell Gavin about moving he gets a package. A new tea kettle and his favorite teas and a note with a smiley face on it. (He’s stopped wondering how the fuck Gavin knows the things he knows, figures it’s for the best in the long run, really.)

And then!

Geoff stats grumbling about the fact that the crew is limited in the jobs/heists they can pull without a hacker in their ranks.

Sure, Ryan knows a little something about them, but it’s not as enough for some of the things Geoff wants them to do.

Fortunately, though, Geoff’s Very Good Friend Burnie happens to owe him a favor or two, knows a hacker he can loan out to them.

Michael has no idea why Geoff looks so fucking delighted with himself when he tells Michael to go pick the new guy up at the airport, but whatever.

Jeremy and Ryan tag along because they’re curious about this guy, right? Geoff’s been talking him for a while, apparently he’s some kind of ~genius hacker and incredible thief and sounds _way_ too good to be true.

So they’re waiting around for this asshole, Michael wondering what the fuck Geoff even meant when he said they’d know the asshole when they saw him. (The look he’d given Michael like he should just magically know what the fuck any of that meant.)

“Michael?”

Michael’s heart does this fucking weird little flip in his chest because okay, what the fuck – and turns to see Gavin standing there.

Looks like a idiot, wild hair and bags under his eyes, scruffy beard and _tired_.

“Gavin?”

Jeremy watching the two of them like this is the best shit he’s see in fucking forever.

Gavin explaining that he’s here for _work_ as he gives Michael a pointed look, and Michael’s sudden realization that this is too much of a coincidence, and goddamn Geoff anyway.

Gavin laughing at him while they go to collect his bags and Michael scowling at him because Gavin obviously knew what was going on.

Ryan pulls up in the car and Michael is like _yes_ because the idiot’s wearing his stupid mask. Michael’s expecting the usual response people have to meeting the Vagabond, but all Gavin does is smile like this is a pleasant surprise.

“Hi, Ryan.”

And Ryan, the bastard, he sounds just as happy.

“Hi, Gavin.”

Michael and Jeremy staring at the two of them who just shrug and tell them it’s a long story, and then they dive back to the penthouse where Geoff is smug as fuck.

Takes the time to explain that he and Burnie have both noticed a dip in moral within their respective crews as of late.  (Looks right at Michael and Gavin who are maybe standing a little too closely together for people who have just met, which is what they would have been if their lives weren’t a fucking romcom without them noticing.)

This little conversation of theirs and ~ingenious plan to fix that shit when they realized what was going on, and Jesus fucking _Christ_.

Everyone thinking it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, and Michael being like, goddammit.

But, you know.

Gavin’s here to stay now, at least for a while assuming he doesn’t want to go back to the Roosters, so…

Yeah.

There’s a lot of Tea, and talking and things other than talking. 

Gavin deciding he’ll stay in Los Santos after he’s been there for a while, because think of the money they’ll save on their phone bills now, Michael!

Michael is like, for the love of God shut up, you asshole, and kisses Gavin to make him shut up. 

He has to get a bigger place because the one he has now doesn’t have enough room for his shit and -Gavin’s. (The strays they end up with thanks to Gavin and his stupid, soft heart.)

When Ryan and Jeremy helps Michael move they know exactly why Michael has a Thing for tea, and Michael hates all of them so fucking much, really.  



	87. Prompt fill: Alfreyco kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182180716111/have-a-prompt-fahc-alfredo-rescuing-trevor-who)

Thank you Anon! Once again featuring a thief!Trevor because I love him so.   


(Also, I was listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1vmmdeEMms) while I wrote this and imagining a city night just after rain, because ~atmosphere.)

  


Alfredo and Trevor being sent on a simple little job in San Fierro where they’re expanding business.

So they’re off on their own, making deals and arrangements with this asshole businessman who thinks he’s so, so clever. That Geoff and the Fakes are some kind of bumbling idiots who won’t see a double-cross coming once he’s gotten all the influence and power he wants, right? (Like this is their first rodeo.)

There’s a rival crew there, or maybe they followed from Los Santos. 

Don’t like these meddling bastards sticking their noses in business that doesn’t concern them because the rival crew has invested in this businessman, don’t like that he’s turned to the Fakes after all this rival crew has done for him. 

Alfredo and Trevor think everything’s going to plan, have everything in place and plan to head back to Los Santos the next day with their work here done?

But no.

Alfredo heads out to grab dinner, and Trevor is poking through the secret files of this businessman he managed to get his sticky little fingers on – and that’s when the rival crew grabs Trevor.

Break into their hotel suite and make a mess because Trevor outs up a bit of a struggle but there are too many of them, or maybe they get a lucky hit in.   


…possibly Trevor didn’t put up quite the fight he’s capable of because he wants to see what this is all about, you know? See what these imbeciles have up their sleeves, and he leaves Alfredo a clue or two before they knock him out and take his to see their boss. 

And Alfredo.

He comes back to the hotel with this takeout, all, “Honey, I’m back!” like an absolute dork, and finds himself a crime scene.

Checks to make sure there aren’t any baddies left around, and then ~investigates the scene.   


Finds these little spatters of blood, signs that Trevor didn’t go easily (of course he didn’t) and finds his one of his little thief/spy gadgets that’s been activated.

One of Trevor’s listening devices that he was working on because it was acting up, but oh, look!

Conveniently it worked well enough to allow Alfredo to get the important info about what happened while he was gone. Bits of static and whatnot, but enough to know Trevor was in control of the situation, and is like _really?_ but then he finds the other clues Trevor left.

Wonders why Trevor is like this, because honestly, and calls the others to let them know what happened, that he’s got this but hey, FYI you know?

They say they’ll be there as soon as they can, but that’s a few hours off and anyway, anyway, he’s got this.

Goes to their gear they’ve hidden away – just in case, you know – and borrows some of Trevor’s little tools and gadgets. (Alfredo doesn’t have his full kit with him, but Trevor never leaves home without his.)

Goes out to meet with some of the crew’s contacts who give him the general area of where this rival crew might be and off he goes.

Ends up in the industrial district because of course he does.

Sets up in a nice vantage point and snipes the perimeter guards. (Got the okay from Geoff to send a message with this, even though they both know he would have done it like this either way, because _Trevor_.)

All calm and cool, utterly ruthless. (Sending a message.)

Gets to where Trevor’s being held, leader of this little group running an interrogation and Trevor laughing with blood on his teeth and okay, okay, okay.

Alfredo’s got knives Ryan gave him as a gift for his birthday, and this sweet little gun from the Lads for winning a stupid bet. Trevor’s little gadgets and his climbing rig.

He takes the leader’s bruisers out first before dropping down from the rafters next to Trevor, nice and quiet, and he gets to see the baddie do a double-take when he turns around at Trevor’s laugh and sees him there. 

(If it’s one thing Trevor’s taught him, it’s the importance on making a dramatic entrance in these kind of situations.)

Trevor grinning up at him and Alfredo giving him a little look, the baddie staring at them like _how did this happen?_ as he calls for his people.

Alfredo smirking because that’s going to be a problem, isn’t it.

“Oh, bravo,” Trevor says, clapping in delight.

The baddie having an aneurysm because Trevor was tied up? 

But no, no. 

He’s a thief, you see, and the baddie’s men are terrible when it comes to knots.

“Were,” Alfredo chimes in, leaning over to wipe the blood on Trevor’s cheek away. “They _were_ bad at knots.”

The two of them turn to look at the baddie who suddenly realizes the position he’s in. (Predator and prey, and no mystery where he falls.)

“You get the information you wanted?” Alfredo asks, because _Trevor_.

“Hmm, I did have a few questions,” Trevor says, and since they have a nice little set up for an interrogation here and no one to interrupt, he asks them.

Thorough with it, because he’d hate to have to do it again, and Alfredo brings out the knives Ryan gave him to clarify a few things. 

They don’t kill this guy, no, because they’re sending a message here, you know?

And while the rival crew realizing they lost a good number of their people with this stupid stunt of theirs, letting this guy bring the story back home will have more of an impact. (Whatever his boss does with him afterwards is none of their concern.)

The two of them walk out of there, Trevor shaking his head and _tsk_ ing at the bodies as they walk past because just look at these idiots.

Alfredo rolling his eyes and handing Trevor an ice pack when they get to the car, fingers gentle on his face and Trevor allowing it. Small little smile just for Alfredo and Alfredo resting his forehead against Trevor’s for a moment because the asshole is _safe_ , never mind his no doubt brilliant little plan here.

“Dinner’s gonna be cold,” he says, because what are words?

And Trevor heaves this dramatic little sigh as they head back to the hotel, because it’s such a tragic waste, really.  



	88. Prompt fill: Battle Buddies romcom shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182227651881/would-a-prompt-about-the-battle-buddies-be-okay-i)

Ahhh! Thank you friend! <333!

So in this scenario the Battle Buddies are part of a super sekrit government agency headed by Geoff and so on. The others are there in some capacity – other agents and techies and support staff and so on. 

One day Ryan goes into Battle Buddy HQ one day with this odd look on his face, and Jeremy is Concerned because he’s a little off all day?

Doesn’t get as excited over the new weapons and gadgets they get to test out the way he usually does, even though they kind of set that one lab on fire and are therefore banned from that section of HQ for at least a month.  


(Look, you don’t hand a guy some fancy new weapon and _not_ expect him to want to see what it can do, and how the hell were they to know that maybe they shouldn’t have done the thing???)

Ryan’s kind of _meh_ over lunch too, even though they go to that barbecue place he loves, which is like. Deeply Concerning because what if this is a replay of the body snatcher situation from that one time? 

So Jeremy keeps a closer eye on Ryan all day while they muddle through reports and boring stuff – get sent to yet another lecture all about _not_ setting things on fire, which. 

They don’t actually do that as often as everyone seems to think they do, okay. They are ~~sort of~~ responsible adults, okay?

And then they get called in for a mission briefing, something about ~unusual activity, potentially wold-ending disaster threat and so on, and Ryan gets this suspicious look on his face as the briefing goes on.

Jeremy is even more Concerned, until Geoff looks at Ryan with this little smirk and - 

“We’re in luck,” he says, which is usually a bad sign because as a famous philosopher once said, ‘If it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all,’ and all that. “Ryan’s giving us the perfect cover o get you close to several people involved.”

Jeremy looks at Ryan who is now outright glaring at Geoff as Geoff clicks to the next slide. (Why the hell he’s using an outdated slide projector Jeremy doesn’t know, but this is Geoff and sometimes he just does this kind of thing).

There’s a picture of a high school, kids all over the place.

Older photo, going by the clothing and hair styles. Mid to late nineties maybe, and this red circle around this one guy with long hair and Geoff’s shit-eating grin as Ryan groans.

“Wait,” Jeremy says, as Geoff clicks to yet another slide. Yearbook photo and the guy in the previous photo, name under the photo conveniently cropped out. Ryan is facepalming and mutter threats to Geoff, who is on the verge of cackling like a lunatic the way he does. “Ryan, is that _you_?”

It is.

Holy shit, it _is_.

High school teenager Ryan with long hair and this dorky smile – he’s obviously going for that suave little smile that always gets Jeremy these days and failing like whoa.

“ _Ryan_.”

Jeremy is mcfreaking dying because that totally is Ryan, and Geoff keeps clicking on slides clearly from the same yearbook. All of them are of Ryan – various clubs and whatnot – and Jeremy is absolutely going to get his hands on copies after this because this is amazing.

“There’s a reunion coming up,” Geoff says, when Ryan looks like he’s trying to decide the best way to set the slide projector (and probably Geoff at this point) on fire. “We’re going to use that to our advantage.”

(Also, kind of stealing ideas from Grosse Pointe Blank, sorry)

Geoff goes on about the risk of someone recognizing Ryan and blowing the whole mission and so on if they don’t use this oh so convenient reunion as cover, and it kind of makes sense? 

Like sure, they’re going to Ryan’s hometown and there are sure to be people he knows there, but it’s a big enough town, and not like they’re going to be doing a lot of social activities and such? 

But Geoff’s kind of a bastard and this is probably to get back at Ryan for some of the shit he’s both given and put Geoff through over the years. (Also, plot reasons.)

After the briefing Jeremy looks at Ryan and is like. 

“You were weird all day because of the reunion, huh?”

Ryan sighs, rueful little smile because it’s his mumbledy-something reunion and kind of makes him think, you know?

He’s an old fuck, got gray hair coming in and he’s not slowing down yet but it’s – literally – a matter of time and then what happens to the Battle Buddies? (He’ll get a desk job or they’ll have him train new operatives and Jeremy will get a new partner and – yeah.)

He doesn’t say that, but Jeremy knows him well enough by now to figure it out, and he’s about to say something about it, but there’s a convenient interruption – someone wanting to yell at them about the earlier fire or what have you and he doesn’t get the chance. 

Things just keep happening or Ryan changes the subject super fucking fast so they don’t actually talk about it.

And then they’re in Ryan’s hometown posing as a happily married couple - 

Because yeah, happily married couple because of fucking course. So now Jeremy is dealing with Ryan and his insecurities RE aging like a normal human being and the whole Thing Jeremy has for Ryan and wow, this is totally not a recipe for disaster, except for how it totally is? (Look, okay. Jeremy’s not all that special when it comes to it. Not smart like Ryan or anything, kind of average and short as hell and the whole shebang because ~angst.)

They get there and Ryan takes Jeremy of this little tour of the town. Looks like it’s what a guy would do when introducing his spouse to the place he grew up in, fantastic for doing a little reconnaissance for the mission. 

Go to this diner Ryan and his friends would go after school for burgers and fries and waxes poetic about how they make ‘em and that you can’t find fries like them anywhere else. Shows him the house he grew up in and so on and so on, his parents having sold it to move somewhere tropical or whatever to live out their retirement years. 

All these places and things he used to to before he ended up in the military and eventually their agency and he’s got this look to him the whole time. Nostalgic as hell, and Jeremy is like _fuck_ because oh, no, FEELS.

They run into a few people Ryan used to know – maybe Geoff wasn’t wrong about their cover story – and Jeremy is like loving the fuck out of the embarrassing stories they tell about Ryan.

Fucking  loving it, all “I never knew,” and “You’re kidding me,” and “Oh my God, _Ryan_ ,” while Ryan is visibly wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole, jfc.

They do mission-ish things, what with the reconnaissance and such. Pinpoint the likely location for the base/HQ/whatever and the whole time the reunion is getting closer. (They’re probably going to be gone before it happens, mission complete and most likely a fire or two before all is said and done.)

Come back from dinner one night and get jumped by baddies. That whole black SUV cutting them off in traffic, blocking them in and a bit of a shootout with running and the inevitable back alley close combat fight. 

Punches and kicks and knives, flesh wounds and getting a scrap of information relating to their mission via cryptic last words and ~convenient clue of some sort they pick up off one of the bodies. 

Go back to their hotel to patch each other up – and hey, if that means if one of them has to take their shirt off for the other to stitch up that cut on their arm/shoulder/back, that’s what it takes. 

Also, getting super close into one another’s personal space and that moment where they’re super aware of that. 

End up staring at one another and all these things they’ve never said out loud before as they look into one another’s sparkling orbs until there’s a noise outside to break the moment. 

A car backfiring, drunken assholes yelling to break the moment – and they do the awkward laugh and “That should take care of it,” regarding the stitches and shuffle off to report back to HQ and clean up respectively. 

Absolutely Do Not talk about things, because of course they don’t and spend the next couple of days trying to get to the bottom of things.

Ultimately have to go to the reunion after all because new evidence (plot reasons!) leads them to think some of the people involved will be there. 

(Ryan being kind of…dismayed because he didn’t think any of those people were the sort to be involved with this kind of shit, but hey. He’s willing to bet none of them thought he’d be a super sekrit agent either even thought everyone thinks he works in IT, so. Even???)

Play the part of happily married couple and oh, God, okay. 

Jeremy knew Ryan cleans up good, but this is another level. Ryan is having a similar problem and just awkward idiots in love who haven’t figure their shit out just yet.

(I’ve never been to any of my high school reunions but plot reasons demand the persons responsible for planning Ryan’s is the kind of monster who would insist on a prom-theme.)

They go to the reunion, and Ryan is like _goddammit_ when they run into one of the guys who was a dick to him back in high school. 

Rich and snooty and typical movie asshole, literally looking down his nose at Jeremy, and of course Ryan is incensed about that because fucking _hey_. Say what you want about Ryan and all his wasted potential (could have done something important with his life, but no, went and joined the military and fucks around with this IT business), but don’t fucking say a thing about Jeremy. 

Maybe lets a little of the guy who goes around killing assholes for a living (and setting shit on fire, intentionally and otherwise) out to play, and the guy backpedals so fast he leaves skid marks.

“Jesus, Ryan,” Jeremy says, a little shocked because yeah, okay. BFFs and the whatnot and Battle Buddies and the like, but _still_.

Ryan blinking, looking at Jeremy and blushing so fucking hard because way to be subtle as he bullshits something about no one talking about his Battle Buddy like that. Uses the excuse of grabbing them some punch to flee the scene and Jeremy staring after him because _hmm_.

The rest of the reunion is less dramatic, Ryan introducing Jeremy to some of his exes – all of which have the best stories about idiot teenager Ryan – and Jeremy eating it all up. 

Also, maybe Ryan has a type, but Jeremy kind of doesn’t notice that part because they’re all  ridiculously successful. The ambitious go-getters with their amazing careers and “normal” people living a simpler life. All of them happily living their best lives out there and it shows. (Also, really fucking hot, so you know, some of Jeremy’s insecurities pop up again.)

Somewhere in there they dace – prom theme! - to some terrible nineties song, disco ball hanging from the ceiling and the two of them in these tuxes and ~slow dance and look, okay, ALL the romcom cliches because it’s that kind of day.

There’s an almost-kiss, but the sound system breaks and lights come up and they do the awkward little laugh and deflection thing again. Someone remembers Ryan’s pretty handy with tech-things (plot reasons!) so he gets drafted to help fix the sound system.

Naturally this means he has to take his tux jacket off, roll up his sleeves and suchlike, run his hands through his hair a few times while he tries to figure out what’s wrong. 

Jeremy standing there Ryan’s tux jacket in his arms and watching this idiot muttering to himself, and being hit with the realization he’s super fucked over Ryan, okay? Loves this idiot something fierce, and goddamn, those _arms_.

Ryan fixing the sound system and shooting Jeremy this _smile_ , because hey! He did it! :DDDDDDDDD

And Jeremy kind of dying inside because Jeremy is a sad bastard, what the actual fuck.

They talk to more of Ryan’s old high school buddies and don’t get much in the way of helpful intel on their mission, but hey. 

Nice night anyway.

Go back to their hotel via moonlight stroll, because of course, and there are Looks and lips being bitten as they decide better than to ~confess their deep abiding love for one another. (It would never work anyway, they deserve better, and all the usual romcom reasons Why They Can Never Be Together.)

The next day Ryan gets a text from an unknown number telling him they have information he’ll want to know regarding their mission and so forth. Whoever it is clearly knows he and Jeremy are super sekrit agents and about their mission here.

And Ryan, okay.

He makes a bad call because Jeremy’s still asleep, and bound to be hungover considering how much punch (obviously spiked) he had the night before. And anyway, Ryan figures he can handle meeting with whoever.

Goes to the meeting spot and of course gets ambushed, taken to the baddie’s base and leaves ~artistic blood spatter behind for Jeremy to find later, after he wakes up and finds the note Ryan left him telling him where he was going and why. (Like a fucking _idiot_.)

Jeremy calls HQ to let them know Ryan’s an idiot - “Tell me something I don’t know, buddy,” - and gears up to go rescue his Battle Buddy.

Has a splitting headache, so he’s annoyed about that too, and kind of wrecks shop getting to Ryan, who’s all trussed up like a damsel in distress.

That guy who was a dick at the reunion is – conveniently – the head baddie here, and Jeremy totally feels great about fucking up his operation here.

Lets him monologue at Jeremy while Ryan looks super unimpressed. (And okay, yeah, roughed up a bit because he put up a hell of a fight when they grabbed him, and also mouthed off to the dick, which got him backhanded and the like.)

“You done?” Jeremy asks, and when the dick gives him this incredulous look – how dare they not be in awe of how brilliant he is??? - and holds up a detonator.

Ryan starts laughing because it’s not a real Battle Buddies mission until the explosives come into play, you know?

Jeremy grinning as he hits the button and shits starts exploding and the whatnot. 

Ryan (who, of course, has slipped his bonds) grabs the dick and knocks him out – they have orders to bring him in alive if possible – and they fight their way out of the building and to a safe place to wait for the others while local cops round up the henchmen and such.

Jeremy bitching at Ryan for being this kind of idiot – he could have gotten himself killed - and so on while the EMTs patch him up.

“Hey, it worked out okay in the end, didn’t it?”

Jeremy staring at Ryan because he did not just fucking say that, did he?

He did, though.

He so fucking did.

This indignant look on his face as he gestures at the head baddie, the baddie’s base on fire, and all the chaos around them and _Jeremy_.

Jeremy kisses him, because it’s that or punch the idiot, and it’s a bad idea – he knows it is even as he reaches for Ryan – but this _absolute moron_.

He’s opening his mouth to apologize after they break apart because Ryan looks stunned, all wide-eyed and frozen in shock and the like, and Jeremy is terrified – and then Ryan pulls him in for another kiss and so on and so forth.

They do the full-on confessing of their deep and abiding love for one another and all that later on. 

Work on their respective insecurities because Jeremy happens to think the gray in Ryan’s hair is sexy as hell. Also, you know, kind of great because it means Ryan’s managed to live long enough to get them, which Jeremy happens to be super appreciative of, okay. 

Ryan is just. Jesus Christ, Jeremy, really? Because look, Jeremy’s crazy smart and talented and Ryan could – literally Jeremy, he could _literally_ \- write a whole fucking series of books about how incredible he is, and actually goes to get started on just that, but Jeremy is like, okay, NO. And then like. Kissing, because these dumbasses.

Everyone back at HQ is like SIGH because the two of them are kind of gross with how happily in love they are? 

Also, they claim emotional trauma from stumbling over the two of them with their make out sessions…and other things…in storage closets and empty briefing rooms and Jesus Christ you two, could you maybe not, THANKS. 

So, yeah.

(And then years and years down the road the two of them are responsible for training new operatives, and jfc, Geoff is so fucking glad he’s retired by that point because _they’re in charge of training new operatives_ , whose fucking terrible idea was that???)


	89. Prompt fill: Silver-tongued Golden Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182228484286/for-promptsthoughts-im-always-a-fan-of-fahc-gav)

Lol, _yes_.

I also really love the idea of FAHC Gavin being this complete human disaster most of the time, but when he bothers to put any effort into it he’s this irresistable force?

His boys know he’s this horrible little troll, but then he’ll give them this look, this _smile_ , and they know better because his ego’s big enough as it is when it comes to this kind of thing, but they can’t _not_ do whatever he wants. 

Whether it’s getting him a drink even though his damn legs aren’t broken or some little trinket – shiny, expensive as hell and absolutely not what they’re robbing this place for, come the fuck on, Gavin. (Something a little more risque, which, who are they turn him down? It would be rude of them.)

Gavin making a comment about Jeremy and Michael’s biceps, and they’re so lovely but really, which has the better set? (And so there is arm wrestling and Gavin >:DDDDD) 

Mentions something about Ryan’s whole knife-throwing _thing_ , and then he’s getting a private lesson that may or may not deviate from the subject at hand at some point, which just means he’ll need more of them later on. (>:DDDDDDDD)

A few words here and Geoff’s honor is at stake, just you wait and see Gavin. (>:DDDDDDDDDDD) 

Jack is just…look. Jack is wise to Gavin and his little ploys more so than the others – they all know exactly what he’s doing – and just waits with this little smirk to him, raised eyebrows and makes Gavin work for it before he plays along. (Worth it, though. So very worth it.)

And the negotiations, okay.

Gavin all dressed up in his Golden Boy persona, this edge of dangerous to him – he does so like toying with his gold knives, and that gun of his – and all the more tempting for it. (Untouchable, the Vagabond and Mogar at his back, among others, and smug about it.)

All these sweet promises he gives them, if only they agree to the Fake AH Crew’s terms, doesn’t it sound like a wonderful deal, love?

Gavin leaning on the bar, top two buttons of his shirt undone, gold-framed sunglasses pushed into his hair and this little grin to him. That laugh and a cheeky little wink that has the bartender rolling their eyes as some poor soul buys him a free drink. 

Idiots never learn, and the ones who have a hard time accepting Gavin’s ‘no’ later on meet with a bad end, which hey, totally deserved and not at all their business. Besides, it just makes things safer for their other customers. Win-win all around.


	90. Prompt fill: Michael/Lindsay/Ryan (Myansay) in the FAHC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182589136126/michaelindsayryan-in-a-fahc-setting)

I love the thought of the three of them meeting one another pre-FAHC?

Ryan and Michael get hired by the same crew and realize they’re not as stupid as the other idiots they’re working with and they gain genuine respect for one another. Surprise everyone when they both end up with the Fakes and get along immediately, (Everyone surprised that Michael’s got no  problem with the Vagabond when he was super suspicious of everyone else for a while after joining the crew.)

Lindsay and Ryan meeting when they’re working on opposite sides on a job. Lindsay manages to thwart Ryan at every turn through sheer chaos and by the end of things he’s soured on his bosses. 

It’s clear they’re kind of hoping/don’t care if the job gets him killed - which he’s going to address with them at a later date – but in the meantime he is both impressed and bewildered at how the hell she keeps doing it.

Lindsay holding him at gunpoint for Dramatic Plot Purposes while her crew whisks the guy he was supposed to kill away, or maybe she manages to kill the guy he was sent to kill first and wanted to let him know it’s not personal, you know? Just business and she likes his style or wants to make sure she’s not making an enemy out of him.

Michael and Lindsay meet who even knows how, just that Michael is like “Oh, fuck, it’s _you,_ ” when Geoff’s introducing him to the crew.  


Everything grinds to a halt because one, no one talks like that to Lindsay and lives (for long, anyway) because she doesn’t stand for that shit, and also, if he has a problem with her he’s not going to be sticking around, right?

But Lindsay is goddamned delighted to see him and everyone is like ??? at the two of them because Lindsay is pestering the fuck out of him and he’s scowly and snappish but both of them are totes fine with things???

OR.

Maybe they meet when Michael’s at a bar and there’s this good looking guy with a dumb man bun at the bar who keeps glancing his way, and it’s not like Michael’s got anything else planned so why the fuck not head over to see what happens with that?

Lindsay’s at a club somewhere with friends. Meg had to leave early because reasons, and Barbara’s getting drinks. Mica’s dancing and there’s some asshole harassing some poor girl at the bar, but just as Lindsay’s headed over there to deal with the guy, some hot as hell guy steps in and scares the bejeesus out of the asshole and she’s like OH??? and then flirting and the like, and she is _charmed_ because he’s so sweet and shy and awkward as fuck.

Michael and Lindsay once again meet who the hell even knows how, and the crew is absolutely convinced they’re going to murder one another at some point, but then it comes out that the two of them have been married for a while by the time Michael gets recruited and everyone is ??? because _Michael and Lindsay._

Either way, Ryan has no idea Michael and Lindsay know each other and Michael and Lindsay don’t realize the other one knows Ryan. (For Plot Reasons.)

Ryan and Michael have this on and off again Thing, and so do Ryan and Lindsay. Ryan’s always got this thought in the back of his head that maybe in another life he and Michael could be something serious when he’s with Michael, and when he’s with Lindsay he’s got the same though swimming around in his head. 

But.

He’s hung up about his career path and thinks they could do better than with someone like him. It’s always a good time, _fun_ with either one of them, but he’s all Drama about it, so it’s a casual no strings kind of thing he has going with them.

And then!

And then the three of them end up with the Fakes and Michael and Lindsay have never met the Vagabond, just know dorky, awkward, Ryan with the man bun and so on. 

They don’t even know that Ryan is the Vagabond because the moment he joins the crew and sees them there he’s like OH SHIT.

Because look, these two people he used to hook up with every so often, that he has the warm fuzzies for and is all Drama about, are _married._

To each other.

And while he is happy for them and the whatnot, there’s a little (lot) of heartbreak going for him there.

Also, the fact that he totally hooked up with both of them (separately) in the past and dear God, talk about awkward? (Especially since Michael wouldn’t be bothered by it, and Lindsay would be like “OH?” and then tease both of them and ask about sekrit gossips and the like to fuck with them.)

SO.

Vagabond mask and face paint the whole time, he tries not to talk around them as often as possible because they know what his voice sounds like, okay. (He’s aware he’s a human disaster, okay. Knows his whole Vagabond 24/7 thing around them will fall apart eventually, but he’s past the point of no return  on that one. Is waiting for the train wreck to happen where they realize he’s their old booty call and the whatnot and surprised that it hasn’t happened yet.)

The thing is, he’s (mostly) normal with the others when Michael and Lindsay aren’t around.

Laughs and jokes with them and so on, and Michael and Lindsay start to wonder if the Vagabond has a problem with the two of them. Because Gavin fucking adores the guy and Jeremy is always talking about his Battle Buddy. 

Everyone fucking loves the guy, but he barely gives them the time of day.

And to complicate matters even further, Ryan ends up in a friends with benefits relationship with Gavin and Jeremy for a while. This casual thing because they live dangerous lives and they’re all attractive people and it’s just kind of fun?

But Ryan realizes Gavin and Jeremy have this whole ridiculously sweet Thing for each other they’re both godawful at dealing with?

Gavin doesn’t think Jeremy would ever be interested in someone like him (whatever the fuck _that_ means) seriously, and Jeremy’s thinking the same thing, right? Both of them head over heels for one another and convinced the most they’re ever going have is this ongoing relationship – which is great, Ryan, really!

But _look_.

Ryan is the one they go to when they’ve had too much to drink and are feeling vulnerable about things. Tell him things they should be telling one another but can’t work up the courage to do so, so Ryan plays matchmaker for the two of them, and steps back when Gavin and Jeremy _finally_ realize how gone for each other they are.

(There are still times the three of them go off somewhere together after a rough job or one too many close calls and come back looking better for it, so yeah.)

Meanwhile, Michael and Lindsay are going a little batty trying to figure out what the hell is going on with those three idiots?

Realize it’s a friends with benefits thing early on, which is fine so long as it doesn’t fuck the crew up. 

It doesn’t, of course, BUT THEN.

Gavin and Jeremy realize they have FEELINGS for one another and get together and apparently the Vagabond was playing matchmaker???

Seems super happy for the two of them, but Michael and Lindsay are waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the Vagabond to be upset by it, but that never happens.

The three of them are still BFFs, but also there are those times when the three of them go off together and everyone expects them to reveal they’re in a relationship together but that never happens, which.  


Okay, also fine, just real damn confusing sometimes. 

And then there’s a Situation in which Ryan ends up having to go to ground at one of the crew’s safe houses and as luck (Plot Reasons) would have it, Michael and Lindsay are also there.

Just the three of them in this ramshackle little house somewhere to wait things out.

Ryan’s hurt (Plot Reasons) in such a way that the skull mask has to come off. Not really all there at the time to really appreciate the way Michael and Lindsay and both like !!! because wtf, the Vagabond is that dumbass Ryan???

And, look. The two of them have maybe been watching for Ryan’s reaction to Gavin and Jeremy getting together because they’re still curious as fuck as to why the Vagabond won’t give the two of them the time of day outside of work. (Also, have you seen the man? Like, obvs not without his mask, but he’s got a great body and also ~mysterious and such.)

But now his mask is off and they’ve had to clean the face paint off to get at the cuts on his face and whatnot.

Lindsay is just staring at him like holy shit, Michael is scowling at him, “Oh, fuck you, Ryan,” because he thought the stupid fuck was dead or something.

And Ryan, stupid pining idiot that he is – loopy on painkillers/blood loss/Plot Reasons, Ryan  - says with this sad little smile “I really wish you would,”and passes out. 

(Look, he remembers their past trysts FONDLY, and much as he likes Gavin and Jeremy or any other partners he’s had since then, the Jones’ _get him_.)

Michael and Lindsay figure shit out while Ryan’s unconscious. Talk about how the hell they both know who he is and why. The fact they’ve been puzzling out the mystery of the Vagabond and his avoidance with them and so on.

Also, the Thing he has with Gavin and Jeremy, so, you know. He probably isn’t looking to see if he’d be a good fit with the two of them so that’s fine. (Really.)

And when Ryan wakes up again later he’s like SHIT because now they know about him, have probably figured everything out and is trying to figure out what happens now?

What happens now is that they give him shit for hiding behind his mask and so on, but that’s about it for that bit of ridiculousness on his part.

He doesn’t remember what he said before he passed out, which is honestly a good thing for him, and when things go back to normal for the crew he stops wearing his mask and face paint around Michael and Lindsay. 

Starts talking to them and is less of a human disaster around them. (A little.)

And that’s good, great even, except for the bit where he falls even more in love with them. But he’s still happy for them and just pines from ~afar.

Various shenanigans in which there’s another close call for the crew.

Gavin or Jeremy this time, and while they’re doing the “oh thank God you’re not dead” face-touch-staring-into-one-another’s eyes thing Ryan is like, “Get a room you two.”

Jeremy rolls his eyes glances over because that is an amazing idea, but also, “Get fucked, Ryan!” as Gavin fails to stifle his laughter and Jeremy himself is cracking up.

Ryan shaking his head as those two idiots go off for the life-affirming sexy times and – unaware of what he said that one time in the safe house - “Wish I could.”

Michael and Lindsay are there to hear him, of course. And Lindsay asks why Ryan isn’t going with Gavin and Jeremy because the three of them and their Thing?

Ryan being all confused before realizing what she means, and then tells her that it really is just a friends with benefits thing he has with Gavin and Jeremy, you know? The whole bit where he loves them but isn’t _in love_ with them and so on

Unbeknownst to Ryan, he seals his fate with that because after this Michael and Lindsay start plotting, right?

Have Serious Discussions about bringing Ryan into their relationship if he’s interested now that they know he’s not in a relationship with Gavin and Jeremy, okay.

Because they also remember their past ~trysts with Ryan fondly, and now that they’ve gotten to know him better realize they could absolutely be something good, the three of them.

Woo the fuck out of him, even though it takes the longest damn time before he realizes what’s going on. That all those times they went out for dinner or a movie. Impromptu races or off on jobs with just the three of them, that kind of thing were goddamned _dates_.  


And he’s like conflicted because he’s really enjoyed spending time with them, but they’re also happily married and he doesn’t want to ruin that. (Also doesn’t want it to be a friends with benefits things, something casual because he couldn’t handle it now, having a taste of what they could have been and having to give it up.)

Some moment where Michael and Lindsay realize they’re not all on the same page and sit Ryan down to let him know they are absolutely wooing the fuck out of him so like, okay. Stop thinking they just want to spice up their sex life or whatever and Ryan being ??? and !!! when he looks over at Lindsay and she’s looking at him like he’s an idiot, but also an adorable idiot.

FEELS and ALL the talking and Ryan finally realizing he gets to have this, them, and kind of loving how much effort they’re going to to “woo the fuck out of him” and returning the favor because Michael and Lindsay are more than worth it, okay? 

Happily ever afters for everyone and the whatnot.

(Also, Geoff and Jack being The Most Tired about their stupid kids who can’t not be Drama with their relationships and Trevor and Alfredo on the sidelines with fucking popcorn or something, idk.)  



	91. Prompt fill: Minecraft King AU Gavin/Trevor/Alfredo (Gavredo/Gavfredo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182737749581/some-prompts-for-u-dear-a-fun-twist-on-king-au)

Okay, so I’ve been thinking about this one for the last couple of days and it’s a whole ~universe. (Mainly because I am such a sucker for the whole trope of the evil chancellor/coup/DRAMA in a kings au setting, but yes.)

It happens when Gavin’s a child, seven or eight, and his father allows himself to be captured to give his mother and him time to escape. 

They use hidden passages and such under the castle that let out near the stables, take his father’s war horse and ride as far as they can before the poor thing needs to rest, but it’s not far enough. So they leave it tethered to a post in a small village, taking care to remove its tack and whatever else might give them away too soon and his mother _steals_ a horse.

She gives him a look when he makes a noise, swallowing up any protests because this is not the time for things like that, knows these are unusual circumstances.

They keep traveling like that for days until they manage to cross the border to a neighboring kingdom through a treacherous mountain pass. They finally stop in some sleepy little village far from the border and while the people there are curious, they have manners, don’t pry too much when news reaches them of what’s taken place. Assume they’re refugees for one reason or another and leave them to their own business.

Gavin’s mother has sold off bits of jewelry and other finery along their way here so they have a little money, enough to get them a room from someone in town long enough for her to find work in a tavern, and things are fine for a little bit.

She works hard to keep them both fed and clothed and when she’s not at work she tells him stories about their kingdom, his father, and so on in their tiny bed while the rain falls outside. Makes sure he continues his schooling with the local children, tells him not to mind them when they look down on him and his threadbare clothes, hand-me-downs from their parents who feel sympathy for this widow and her son.

But then she becomes sick a few years on, and there’s no cure. (Heartbreak, someone tells him, because sometimes a loss is too great.)

There’s no one in the village willing to take Gavin in – too poor, and he’s likable enough, yes, but not one of theirs – so he’s take to a larger town nearby with an orphanage. 

Underpaid workers there with too many mouths to feed, too many children to clothe and care for and it’s made them not unkind, exactly, just not caring.

There are children there who are mean and cruel, bully those weaker than them and at first they think Gavin is like that. 

He isn’t, though. Small and quiet, far too clever for his own good, but not weak. (A good king is never weak.)

Too small to fight off the larger boys – nearly teenagers – on his own, but there are others who don’t care for bullies. A pair of boys who look enough alike at first glance it would be easy to think they were twins, who fight dirty and whisk Gavin away to some hiding spot of theirs before the adults take notice.

And that’s where Gavin first meets Trevor and Alfredo.

Alfredo loves him immediately, but Trevor is a harder sell. Wary of new people and the like, but it’s not long before Gavin and Alfredo win him over and they become close friends as they grow up in the orphanage together. (Think he’s a bit odd with his accent, the way he speaks – no commoner, Gavin – but he’s quiet and clever and quick to offer a suggestion when they’re up to some small mischief.)

A few years later there’s word of bandits getting bolder, attacking villages and the like. No one knows what they’re after because it’s obvious they’re looking for something – someone – and Trevor and Alfred worry about Gavin when they find out his old village was one of the first attacked.

Gavin makes ~secret plans to leave because he knows they’re after him – doesn’t want to get Trevor and Alfredo caught up in this whole mess. 

Doesn’t realize that Trevor’s making similar plans and doesn’t explain why when Alfredo catches him at it, refusing to let him go alone and all that both reluctantly agreeing it would be best to leave Gavin out of it. Think he’ll be safer at the orphanage and that he’s bright enough to look after himself when he ages out.

Before they can put their plans in motion their city gets attacked.

It’s pretty obvious that the attackers aren’t your typical bandits, more organized, better equipment and so on, and Gavin goes missing in the chaos.

Everyone thinks he’s been killed – he’s just a kid and the orphanage was one of the main targets in the attack, burned to the ground and such – so they assume one of the bodies is his.

Trevor takes it hard, thinks it’s his fault even though he doesn’t tell Alfredo why

Trevor and Alfredo run away, get lost in the city’s underbelly and become thieves and the like, dragged in deeper and deeper until someone notices them and thinks they have ~potential and before you know it they’re part of an assassin’s guild.  


(Trevor tries to convince Alfredo to stick to thieving, or learn a trade, but Alfredo won’t hear of it. Worried about Trevor after Gavin died because he’s grown colder, more distant and so on.)

There’s also this budding… _something_ between them, which honestly has always been there but neither of them act on it. (They both know something it missing and don’t dare talk about what – who – it might be, because Gavin’s dead, so…)

A few years go by where they get a reputation for being able to pull off assassinations thought to be impossible – they step on a few toes in the guild in the process. 

This pair of upstarts the guild master found picking pockets in the marketplace who don’t know their place, have upstaged senior assassins who have too much ego and nowhere near enough skill so the guild master hands them an assignment, someone with a grudge against a storekeeper in the capital city.

Trevor and Alfredo are a little offended at first because this is the kind of assignment handed to the novice assassins, but the way the guild master’s acting and the nature of the assignment itself is super suspicious, right?

She warns them to be careful, something she never does, and gives them the pick of the armory and whatnot and something it definitely _up_.

They gear up, grabbing weapons and such they didn’t have access to before and head off on their assignment. Go through cities and villages, small settlements the bandits have attacked – the attacks don’t happen as frequently anymore, and Alfredo wonders why that is, Trevor musing about the number of assignments their guild has gotten since they joined. Senior assassins who weren’t threatened by them mentioning there have been more than usual, and maybe the two are connected?

And then they reach the capital city and check in with the assassin’s guild master there (all of them thinking it a bit odd if not wholly unusual their client didn’t go to them directly) and spend the first day there familiarizing themselves with the city.

Wait until night of the second day to see to their assignment, but when Trevor sneaks in the storekeeper is gone.

His son, however, is not, and proves to be something of a capable fighter. The two of them trading blows in the near darkness and Trevor reluctantly impressed with his ability to keep up with him – until Alfredo steps in to put an end to it.

And it’s a terrible idea, sudden impulse that makes Trevor reach for the candle on the table to see the face of the person who’s been able to fight on an even level with an assassin of his ability as long as he did – and it’s _Gavin_. 

**_!!!_ **

This look on his face, in his eyes, they remember from the orphanage when the bullies caught up to him before Trevor and Alfredo let them know what a bad idea that was. 

Defiance and bravery and all that, and clearly he’s expecting them to kill him. Don’t know it’s them with the scarves and masks over their faces, so – against guild rules and all common sense – Trevor pulls them away, and watches the disbelief on Gavin’s face.

Sees the way he glances immediately to Alfredo like of course that’s who Trevor’s partner would be and all three of them are caught in this standoff not knowing what to do next.

So of course that’s when the storekeeper arrives, startling all three of them.

“Friends of yours?” 

Gavin looks back at Trevor and Alfredo, blade to his throat and clearly in some form of trouble – it’s clear the storekeeper is armed, will act the moment he gets a chance.

“I’d like to think so,” he says, but times change. (People change.)

Alfredo clears his throat, shares a look with Trevor and puts his blades away, Trevor following suit a beat later, and then it’s all-over awkward.

Gavin is still staring at Trevor and Alfredo, and they’re still staring at him, and the storekeeper just sighs as he goes about making tea because clearly it’s going to be a long night?

Trevor watches him closely – it’s clear the man knows they’re there for him but he doesn’t seem at all ruffled by the presence of two assassins in his kitchen.

After a moment Gavin goes to help, placing four mugs of tea around the small table and looking at the two of them expectantly. 

He’s nervous, scared, Trevor knows. Small tells he learned when they were in the orphanage together, but he’s placing some level of trust in the two of them. (Still makes sure to keep himself between the storekeeper and the pair of assassins, though, and that makes him smile a little because it’s very…him.)

The storekeeper gets things rolling, tells them he knows they’re here for him and guesses their client correctly – and instead of sounding worried or even afraid he’s just annoyed.

“Bastard doesn’t have the balls to come after me himself,” he grumps, and Gavin hides his grin behind his mug, because _Geoff_.

Trevor and Alfredo are like ??? because not the usual reaction to someone sending assassins after them?

But then Geoff looks at Gavin – full-on Dad mode and asks if this is why Gavin wanted him to pay visits to some of their associates in the city earlier.

Gavin can’t meet his eyes, hems and haws and answers the question by not answering it.

“Idiot,” Geoff mutters, and Gavin shoots him a _look_ , which he ignores as he studies the two assassins.

Young, just stupid kids. And he’s heard Gavin’s stories about his childhood, the friends he had at the orphanage before this and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out these are the same people. (In name at least.)

“Well, this changes things, doesn’t it.”

Trevor and Alfredo have no idea what the hell that’s even supposed to mean, but Gavin clearly does.

Looks startled, sitting up with this strange expression on his face.

Geoff sighs, odd smile gracing his lips.

“If they’re getting this desperate, we’ll have to move things ahead.”

Which is how Trevor and Alfredo end up discovering Gavin is the missing(presumed dead) prince to their neighboring kingdom???  
Geoff is a former castle guard who ~fled to this kingdom with his husband not long after the coup. 

Realized the man behind the coup suspected Gavin was still alive and started searching for him following vague clues and whatnot to the orphanage the night it was attacked and used the chaos to spirit Gavin away. (Because plot reasons.)

The made it to this city thinking it would be a better place to hide him than some border village or what have you. Bought a small store to bring in money and set about training Gavin and inadvertently start up a resistance cell??? 

Gavin snorts at that because there was never a chance they wouldn’t get involved in things being who they are, but Geoff and Jack insist Gavin would have done something stupid that forced their hands, so. Yes.

Jack comes home while Trevor and Alfredo are processing everything they’ve learned, and Geoff sends him to help because Jack’s got packages – foods and whatnot that were given as gifts.

And Geoff, okay. Geoff.

Leans forward, making sure to keep his voice low so Gavin won’t hear him and threatens to kill Trevor and Alfredo if they even think of betraying Gavin. Tells them he’s trusting Gavin right now, but he doesn’t know them. Doesn’t trust them, and they’re assassins.

A respected profession, to be sure, but there are always weasels in any walk of life. The ones who are good at faking morals and the like, and he might be old now, but he’s smart.

Trevor doesn’t seem overly impressed by the threats, but he swears he won’t betray Gavin, as does Alfredo – and when Gavin comes back he knows something happened but no one’s talking, so.

Yes.

They agree to fake Geoff’s death, reporting to the assassin’s guild in the city they’ve completed their assignment and send word to their guild master via carrier pigeon or whatever to prevent arousing suspicion anything is wrong.

And then they get roped into helping with the resistance cell, realize it’s larger than expected as they leave the city and meet with more along the way because it’s past time they retook the throne and all that.

Gavin and Alfredo reconnecting quickly while Trevor takes longer to warm up – partly at the surprise of Gavin being alive after all these years, partly because of the fact he’s the prince? (And a little of Trevor’s own secrets.)

It takes time setting everything in motion. Getting word out to various cells that they’re finally ready to act without revealing themselves.

A lot of time spent traveling, shenanigans in which they run into bandits – real and not – along the way. Gavin, Trevor, and Alfredo getting separated from Geoff and Jack after an attack and having to take shelter in an old farm somewhere until the weather lets up.

Trevor got hurt in the fight while watching Gavin’s back and so Gavin fusses over him while Alfredo looks on in amusement (really, he’s the best adjusted out of everyone in this AU and think Gavin and Trevor are the dumbest smart people he knows).

Trevor studying Gavin and talking quietly, Alfredo standing guard and piping up as they talk about their lives after the attack on the orphanage. Gavin sharing what happened with him, guilty about keeping his secret from them but not wanting to endanger than he already had. 

Tells them about his plan to sneak away before the attack happened and Alfredo giving Trevor this _look_ because Trevor has secrets of his own, right? And Trevor stiffly telling Gavin about his plans to sneak away and they’re both just like, so stupid?

Trevor reveals he’s from Gavin’s kingdom as well, has an older brother who was some kind of scholar, a researcher in service to the new king – he scoffs at the title, bitter twist to his mouth because the man is no king, merely a petty bully – who sent Trevor away when things became too dangerous. 

Intended to send him to stay with relatives in this kingdom, but there was a bandit attack or something and he ended up in the orphanage where he met Alfredo and later Gavin. (How long he spent thinking Gavin died because the bandits might be looking for _him_ instead and thinking he might be able to do something about the baddie if he became an assassin, sneak into the castle and kill him, reunite with his brother and so on.)

They reconcile, Alfredo a little too smug about things, so of course he gets his comeuppance hen Trevor and Gavin share a look. And Gavin grabs Alfredo into play fight, giddy laughter and this relief that they’re not completely changed by their experiences and Trevor and Alfredo fully throwing their lot in with Gavin and the others.

They meet up with Geoff and Jack a few days later and both of them sense something’s changed in their time apart. See the way Trevor’s cool demeanor towards Gavin has softened, the way he and Alfredo are always at his side and decide to let the three of them figure the rest out for themselves. (Idiots that they are.)

Once they cross the border the extend of the tyrant’s abuse of the people is more evident, abandoned farms – some because the farmers couldn’t afford the taxes, some simply burned to the ground when they dares speak out.

It gets worse the closer they get to the capital city, Gavin more and more determined to put things right. (And scared, because what if he fails?)

Trevor getting quieter as he watches Gavin, and Alfredo watching both of them.

They join up with the main resistance cell and spend some time going back and forth deciding a plan of attack, and Gavin speaks up when someone brings out a map of the castle showing hidden passageways and the like.

Asks for a drawing implement and adds to it, the passageways he and his mother used when they escaped. Half-remembered but a better way in to the castle than other routes and it’s decided a small party would be best.

Gavin, Geoff, Jack. Trevor and Alfred – a pair of assassins of their ability will be valuable in this. Jeremy, who smuggled the map out of the castle to the resistance cell given to him from an inside source, and a few others.

They infiltrate the castle and get caught up in an ambush – because of course they do – and Gavin ends up separated from the others while the baddie monologues. 

There’s a one on one fight where Gavin manages to hold his own, but then the baddie plays dirty – calls in hidden guards he has to fend off and in the fray he gets hit with a throwing knife that’s been dipped in poison.

Just as the baddie is about to kill Gavin, the others break through the barricaded doors for a last minute rescue. 

Trevor and Alfredo take up protective positions around Gavin while Geoff and the others deal with the remaining guards and the baddie. 

Geoff gets into a tight spot and suddenly Trevor’s there, killing the guard before he can kill Geoff and then he’s gone again, going after the baddie while Alfredo helps deal with the riffraff.

No one notices Gavin following Trevor and the baddie up to one of the castle towers, especially not Trevor or the baddie. So when the baddie corners Trevor who’s lost his weapons, back to a window, both of them are surprised when Gavin appears. 

Distracts the baddie long enough for Trevor to snatch up a dropped weapon and kill the baddie with, the two of them staring in shock when they realize they’ve done it. 

Killed the tyrant and cleared the way for Gavin to retake his throne, start setting the kingdom to rights and all that.

Go back down to where the others are to find them mopping up, Geoff and Jack running over to Gavin who collapses. (Still poisoned, btw.)

They fuss over him before Alfredo comes over with the dagger used on him that Alfredo pocketed before the real fighting started. He and Trevor figure out which poison was used and the antidote needed to counter it (plot reasons) and Gavin recuperates with Geoff and Jack taking care of things in the meantime.

Trevor or Alfredo can be counted on to guard over Gavin, and thwart a few assassination attempts while he recovers. (Leave their guild, although neither of them mention it to anyone, especially Gavin.)

Shenanigans, in which Gavin is recognized as the missing (presumed dead) prince and a coronation ceremony happens.

Everything looks like it’s going to have a happily ever after, but Trevor is distracted.

Gavin too busy to notice at first, but Alfredo mentions he doesn’t seem himself and Gavin goes to talk to Trevor. Realizes Trevor’s brother is missing and he’s worried.  


Afraid he’d been caught or killed before now, that Trevor’s been wasting time that could have been spent looking for him. (A mole for the resistance within the castle walls for so long, surely he would have been discovered by now.)

So Gavin looks around, all these loyal guards – Geoff’s taken up position as head of the castle guard grumbling all the way. (Has his eye on this particular guard, mouthy brat who could be incredible with more training.)

Knows Trevor, that eventually he’ll sneak off on his own to look for his brother now that things are starting to settle, the people realizing that things are changing for the better, and acts first. 

Arranges supplies and equipment, money, for Trevor and Alfredo to go find his brother, because of course Alfredo will go with him. (Leaves a note, telling them to come back when they’re ready to and all the documents that will allow them to travel freely in the kingdom until then. Acting as his personal agents or what have you.)

They’re gone for a long time, following what small clues and whatnot they find along the way. The three of them sending letters back and forth, and finally, finally, they come back, Trevor’s brother in tow.

He’d fled when the baddie realized he was the mole, handed the map to Jeremy and acted as a decoy to allow him to get it to the resistance. Gotten caught up in various shenanigans of his own – fake bandits and the like and thrown into a prison on false charges when Trevor and Alfredo caught up to him.

Got him out using their positions in Gavin’s court and spent some time waiting for him to recover before making back for the capital and the castle.

And in the meantime, Gavin’s installed Jack as his main advisor, takes his counsel seriously as he builds up his staff of advisors and whatnot. 

Finds suitable candidates for most, but the role of head researcher/what have you is proving difficult – until, of course, Trevor and Alfredo return with Trevor’s brother.

Clever man with a fascination for redstone and its potential.

There’s a bit of unease within the court at first, people recognizing him as someone who was close to the baddie. Worked his way up the ranks until he became the baddie’s most trusted advisor,  privy to sensitive information he funneled to the resistance when he could.

Worked with operatives like Jeremy and Michael and other key resistance members who vouch for him.

Still, to avoid the appearance of favoritism Gavin sets up a competition between the people vying for the position, and Ryan (because of course it’s Ryan) winds handily. (And while there’s still grumbling, it’s more thoughtful now, and as time passes it fades away when he doesn’t reveal himself to be the traitor his detractors think he is.)

And then, you know.

Trevor becoming Gavin’s spymaster while Alfredo fades into the background, carrying out assassinations and aiding Trevor in his work. 

People thinking Gavin’s too young, inexperienced at being a king, but he has Jack and Geoff helping guide him and several others besides. Makes mistakes, yes, but he’s learning, doing his best and his people learn to love him.

Trevor and Alfredo continue to thwart assassination attempts, sniff out dissenters who have plans to start another coup before they gain any traction.

Geoff is clearly training Michael up to take over as captain of the castle guard with Lindsay as his second in command there. 

Jeremy shows an interest in redstone - and Ryan, which is absolutely mutual and entertaining to watch play out for everyone else.

(Gavin goes down to their workshop when his duties get to be a little too much, gets drawn into explanations of their current projects and volunteered as an extra pair of hands. Ryan’s tolerant of his questions and curious about the other brazen fool who’s won Trevor’s head so completely. Jeremy just likes having a similarly minded partner in crime.)

After an assassination attempt that comes a little too close, Trevor insists Gavin pick up his training again. (Terrified about what could happen if he doesn’t, if Trevor and Alfredo are too slow, or away dealing with Gavin’s enemies.)

Which of course leads to close quarters combat, and Trevor pinning Gavin who cheats outrageously by kissing him. Takes advantage of Trevor’s surprise to reverse their positions, smug grin on his face and face bright, bright red. 

From the exertion, yes, but also at his boldness. Little bit of fear that he’s overstepped, that things have changed between them – but then Trevor’s kissing him back and it’s all very lovely, indeed.

Until Alfredo complain about being left out of things. (He’s been gone for the better part of a week on a mission for Trevor, and this is what he comes home to? Come on, guys.)

Gavin and Trevor sharing a look before they gang up on him, and manage to make up for being so unbearably inconsiderate of him. (Thoroughly.)

And then happily ever after for everyone, because of course it is.


	92. Prompt fill: FAHC Freewood AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Because reasons.](https://vagrantblvrd.tumblr.com/post/182795722816/nothing-makes-me-happier-than-someone-slowly)

Hi, hello, this is like one of my all-time favorite tropes when it comes to the Vagabond, so thank you a million billion times over for this prompt.

Also, since I’ve been in a Freewood mood lately, let’s go with that ship for this prompt. (Also, it got away from me a bit. :D?)

Ryan and Gavin meeting way, way, way before joining the Fake AH Crew because members of the crew meeting before joining the Fakes is another all-time favorite trope?

Gavin’s new to Los Santos, isn’t really deep into the criminal scene at the time. Maybe he’s just a bright kid who got a job offer or something in the states and it was a scam or a legit thing but the funding fell through. 

Can’t really go begging for money to get back home to England from his family for whatever reason, and hell Dan has the kind of money to spring for a plane ticket.  


(Maybe he could, but Gavin doesn’t want to let him know he fucked up here or worry him. Maybe Dan’s already in the military and Gavin doesn’t want to bother him with his own dumb mistakes again even if Dan would never think of it like that, but you know. Gavin’s in a shitty place at the moment and feeling down on himself, SO.)

He gets a job, some dumb little thing that barely pays anything – under the table or something like that – and it’s shady as hell.

Working in a tiny little grocery store stocking the shelves and watching all kinds – all kinds – come in through the front door. 

Old Mrs. Halley who is meticulous about choosing her fruit and vegetables, has a separate wallet for the coupons she’s collected. 

Over half of them expired years ago, a few before Gavin was old enough to walk, but the boss honors each and every single one.

Whoever is working the register when she goes up to the counter one and tells here there’s been a mistake – machines these days you know, unreliable at times – and tells her to keep her coupons for the next time she comes through their line as they chip off more than what her coupons would have saved her. 

He’d think it’s just a thing they do for a sweet old lady like her, someone’s granny somewhere, but there’s a sharpness to her the little old ladies where he came from don’t have. The kindly warning to him his first week there to remember to knock before he goes to the back room his boss uses as an office. (Pays to be polite, and it’s generally good form not to barge in while the boss is conducting business and all.) 

Gavin Realizes a week after that that not all the business that goes on back there is the legal sort, rough looking characters and all that. Faces he spots on the news after a bank heist or jewelry store robbery. Terrible police sketches of a figure seen running from a homicide scene, that kind of thing.  
It occurs to Gavin, sitting in the tiny little apartment. This shabby little thing in a building that belongs to a friend of Gavin’s boss, that he’s in a bit of a pickle, isn’t he.

Pays closer attention the next time he’s stocking the shelves, commits faces to memory. (Faces, voices, whatever he can, and is in a bit of a quandary.)

His boss is a decent sort, keeps Gavin away from the shadier side of things and pays him enough for rent and food and other essentials with enough left over to put towards a ticket back to England. No way of telling if his co-workers are involved in the backroom dealings – or worse – but they’re decent enough as well. (No bullies, that’s for sure.)

Some small part of him wonders if he should do something about this, watching the criminal types filter in through the front door, browsing the shelves before they slip into the back room. The ones who make a beeline for it right off - rude or just in some spot of trouble of their own.

If he should go to the police, make an anonymous phone call or two because look.

Gavin goes out back sometimes, dumping trash or for a bit of a break. Hangs around the alley with a co-worker for a break, bring something out to eat during lunch. And sometimes the criminal types aren’t the brightest, linger around the corner and talk about their work where Gavin and his co-workers can overhear without realizing it.

He thinks about it, but then he hears stories here and there. Watches the news, sees the way the cops are ever so slightly _off_ here in Los Santos, and decides maybe he shouldn’t do that at all. (Still new to the city, the US in general, and he’s doing alright for himself the way things are going.)

Gavin’s not sure if he likes it in Los Santos – a bit scary, really – but his boss is fair and his co-workers aren’t the worst and there’s really not a lot going on for him back in England with Dan in the military. (And oh, he still doesn’t know Gavin’s not doing what he went to the US for, Gavin spinning these little lies to keep him from worrying, a little guilty about it but what Dan doesn’t know and all.)

So Gavin keeps his mouth shut, and he takes the money he was saving for a plane ticket home and invests it somewhere on his boss’s advice. (Does something with it anyway, other than having it sit around doing nothing for him.)

One of Gavin’s co-workers moves on – he doesn’t ask where, worried it might be the kind of question with an answer he’d rather not have to deal with – and he gets trained up on the register. Starts dealing with customers more directly, including some of the shady ones who decide to pick something up while they’re at the store already, you know? (Criminal types need to eat too.)

And one day Gavin realizes he’s ringing up the big scary bastard, longish hair with a bad dye job – he’s missed spots, probably doing it himself in his bathroom. 

Younger than Gavin thought up close, amazing eyes and this bone structure that gives him a haughty look. Not the chattiest sort, but he’s not rude or mean about things. Empties his shopping basket on the counter and patient about it as Gavin rings him up.  


(Spots the box hair dye and may or may not steal a glance at the man after that, see his roots starting to come in. Gets a narrow-eyed look and clears his throat nervously as he gets back to work, hoping he’s not made a terrible faux pas of come sort there.)

Nothing comes of it, thankfully, and Gavin tries to put it out of his mind. Just a misstep on his part an everything’s great! 

Really!

Never mind the part where everyone seems terrified of the guy and that Gavin’s managed to insult him or something along those lines, what could possibly go wrong???

Things go on for a while, Gavin maybe getting caught up more and more into the questionable side of thing when his boss realizes Gavin’s not too bothered by it. 

Delivers things from time to time – letters and such, and oh, Gavino, the mail doesn’t run o Sunday but your apartment is in the same direction, so if you don’t mind. Gets a little extra money for it. A twenty here, sometimes a fifty from his boss depending on the urgency, and the nicer/ore grateful recipients tend to give him a decent tip as well. (He knows it’s not drugs, not the way his boss goes off on that whole side of business that goes on in Los Santos, figures it must have to do with the backroom business and the way his boss knows so much about what goes on in Los Santos.)

Not his concern, although he is a bit…alarmed when he goes to deliver a parcel and the bloke with the bad dye job answers the door.

Tall and imposing and these little smears and smudges on his face that look like the remnants of some kind of face paint? (Classmates and neighborhood kids growing up, cousins and the like and dress-up parties and carnivals where people would paint up kitten noses and whiskers, butterflies. Snarling wolf faces – even clown makeup.)

Gavin just stares at him because the bastard still isn’t the chatty sort, eyes flitting to the cut by his mouth, the ugly bruising along his jaw. (Tired slump to his shoulders, way he winces when he takes the parcel from Gavin.)

He grunts out something that could be a thank you or something less friendly, and hands Gavin this battered twenty, like it’s been crumpled up and carefully flattened out. All soft and worn, torn off corner and small tears. 

Sad thing really, and there’s something to the look on the guy’s face that’s almost defensive about it, but money’s money, isn’t it? The the guy could just as easily slammed the door in Gavin’s face and sent him off without anything, so - 

Gavin smiles up at him and thanks him as he tucks the money away in his pocket and goes on his way, a little curious about the fact he doesn’t hear the door shut behind him until he’s almost to the stairs, but not enough to look back. (He’s learned it’s best not to get too curious about these deliveries, that the people who’ve earned this little service tend to be a bit on the paranoid side of things, _so_.

Gavin’s boss really does seem to like him, and most of his…clients do too. (He’s not heard any complaints, at least.)

His boss calls him into the backroom one day after the store’s closed. Tells him to pull up a chair and regards Gavin with this seriousness that seems a bit much for a small business owner with a corner grocery store.

Has Gavin getting all _worried_ because a few of his co-workers – the one with loose lips and a little to eager to eavesdrop on things they shouldn’t – have gone _missing_.  


Well, not quite missing in some cases as finally moving on from Los Santos. Packing up in a hurry after getting called back here and presumably just fine and dandy wherever they end up, but. There are a few who end up on the news, the stupid, arrogant ones. Too bold and ambitious for their own good, too greedy.

So.

Gavin’s trying to think of something he might have done to result in one of these Talks, and then his boss sighs. 

Smiles at Gavin, this tiny crooked thing pulling at his mouth.

Asks Gavin if he knows what he’s been doing here. Starting out as a normal(ish) stockroom boy and moving up from there, bit by bit.

Gavin is very much Alarmed now, thinking he’s made another mistake, so he’s careful in how he answers. (Thinks of Dan and what he’ll think if/when he hears about Gavin going and getting himself dragged into this kind of business and so on.)

Never comes out and says he’s doing anything illegal – which, technically true, probably – and his boss starts laughing because Gavin’s clever about it, isn’t he.

And then he leans forward and tells Gavin he’s getting on in years, you know. Old man with all these kids running around making a mess of Los Santos. None of the respect for the way the city works, and Gavin’s seen a little of it.

On the news, in the new faces that stop by the store more and more, rude and dismissive and arrogant.

And Gavin’s boss, he looks at Gavin. Clever little Gavin who knows how to keep secrets, and asks if he’d like to be a little more involved. (Never really says he’s looking for an apprentice or a protégé or any of that, but oh the implications.)

Gives Gavin a week to think it over, see if it’s something he’d be interested in doing or if he’d like to continue on as he’s been doing and no hard feelings.

Gavin thanks him for the opportunity and goes back to his little apartment. Sits on his couch and thinks and thinks and thinks until it gets dark out and he has to turn the lights on. Flips the terrible little television he picked up at a pawn shop on and turns it to a new channel. 

Watches news story after news story after news story while there are sirens going off somewhere nearby. Shouting and yelling from his neighbors because the walls are so thin in his building, all this noise and bustle and terrible things on the news. (Murders and gang-involved shootings, robberies and unbelievable heists. Smaller things that only get a mention before the anchors move on to some other bit of business.)

Thinks about his money he’s got tucked away, investments that aren’t really much to boast about but a far sight better than when he first got to the city. About his boss and the way he likes what he’s been doing. (Little bit of a thrill to it, and that could be worrisome in the future, how much he likes it, but that’s the future, isn’t it. Nothing to worry about _now_.)

Thinks about how he could be doing a bit more, some itch in the back of his mind and this restlessness that’s taken root in the last little bit.

He goes back to the store the next day – meant to be one a day off for him, but he’s made up his mind. Makes sure to knock at the door to the backroom, waits for his boss to tell him to come in, and when he does tells him he’s interested, wants to be more involved in things.

And oh, is his boss delighted about _that_.

Takes Gavin under his wing and teaches him all kinds of things. Introduces him to some of his clients who he has an understanding with. Ones who like Gavin well enough and roll their eyes in amusement when Gavin’s boss tell them not to scare Gavin off, that he’s a good one, whatever that means.

And Gavin learns quite a lot in the following days, weeks, months. Gets pulled into the criminal side of things a little too deeply to get out of easily, but that’s fine because he takes a shine to it.

Learns a bit about hacking – he was decent with computers before, but he gets a far more in-depth education about them now. Picks up pick pocketing and learns how to pick locks. How to hotwire a car and other helpful things.

Knows the basics of handling a gun – relatives back in England and such – but his boss insists he learns more, _so_.

Gavin ends up at a shooting range with the guy with the bad dye job for shooting lessons. (It’s not like the man hasn’t gotten better at it since those early days, practice and familiarity with the whole process leading to improvement in that regard, but first impressions or some such.)  


Is a bit nervous because they’ve never really talked before, but the guy owes Gavin’s boss a favor and he doesn’t seem put out by the fact he’s meant to teach Gavin how to shoot.

Asks Gavin what he knows so he’ll have a better idea of what he needs to go over with him and Gavin -  a bit distracted because he’s never really heard the man talk. 

Never heard his voice, and it’s _lovely_.

Might fumble things a bit here and there just to hear him talk a bit more, glad that he never gets annoyed or angry with him. Exasperated, sure, but he’s patient as hell with Gavin and after a bit he seems to forget his own nervousness. Relaxes enough to crack a smile when Gavin’s studying his grouping on a paper target and mutters something about hardly doing worse for himself.

Never tells Gavin to stop it with the chatter, which Gavin does. 

So. Much.

Random things, idle questions or something he saw on the television or heard someone talking about. And to Gavin’s surprise – delight – the guy does his best to answer Gavin’s stupid little questions and hypotheticals. Gives honest thought to it, and it’s incredibly fun for both of them.

Seeing as knowing how to shoot and all other weapon related skills are valuable in Los Santos (invaluable, really) Gavin ends up taking more lessons with the guy.

Learns he answers to Ryan – odd phrasing that, but not the strangest thing – and he’s got a habit of flubbing his words. 

Gavin doesn’t point it out at first, keenly aware of what a bad idea that might be, but a few weeks into the lessons Ryan flubs so badly Gavin snorts, almost chokes on his laughter and when he looks at Ryan worried he’s insulted him the man just _sighs_ , this odd sort of fond exasperation, and Gavin’s not as worried about it after that.

Gavin’s boss gives him more and more to do as Gavin gets better in various skills. 

Gives him little tests here and there when it comes to thief-y skills and the like, bring him a certain amount of wallets taken from the unsuspecting, steal a certain kind of car at a certain time of day from a certain kind of person. Gives Gavin the job of securing a piece of news one of his people would have gotten for him – nothing too risky just yet, but there would be consequences if he’s caught, and so on.

Saves the one that involves weapons for a later date, pushes that one off again and again and again, trusting that Ryan’s teaching Gavin properly. (Doesn’t want to put Gavin into too risky of a position just yet, this old man who looks on Gavin like the son he never had and so on.)

He gives Gavin a look when he catches him playing with a butterfly knife trainer one afternoon, but doesn’t say a damn thing about that, or the time he catches Gavin browsing for a set of throwing knives on the computer in the backroom while he’s waiting for his boss to get to the store one afternoon.

One day Gavin’s waiting for Ryan to show up at the shooting range for a lesson, but he never shows. 

Gavin waits and waits and waits, giving the owner a sheepish smile when he comes in to tell Gavin the time they reserved the range for – private lessons, because Ryan’s hardly an upstanding citizen, you know – is over and he’s sorry, but he’s got other paying customers, kid.

So Gavin leaves, figures maybe Ryan forgot or just got tired of dealing with Gavin – doesn’t hurt to think that, no – and is about to jut go home. Call the day a bust and catch up on the homework his boss and various tutors have been giving him when he’s hit with the inexplicable need to go check on Ryan. 

What could it hurt, you know? His place is more or less – less, really, nearly a mile out the other way – in the same direction as Gavin’s place and it’s not like he’s got much else to do anyway, _so_.

Puts all those little tips and tricks and the whatnot he’s been learning to good use as he catches a bus since there’s a stop a few blocks from Ryan’s place. Takes side alleys and the like to get there – a little paranoia is a good thing in Los Santos – and makes sure he’s not being followed before he slips into Ryan’s building.

Has a moment as he’s taking the stairs up to Ryan’s apartment that maybe this isn’t the smartest thing he’s ever done, but he’s made it all the way here might as well keep going.

And it’s a good thing he does, because once he gets to Ryan’s the door opens when he knocks – barely latched – and it’s not good once he’s inside.

This disaster trail of blood and mud, Ryan’s jacket discarded in the hallway and Gavin’s gun is in his hand, heart beating rabbit-fast because who knows what he’s going to find.

Follows the faint noises he can hear – fumbling and grumbling, low swearing – to the bathroom and eases the door open.

Finds himself staring down the barrel of Ryan’s gun, the man himself an absolute mess, all beat up and bloody, looking like he’s about to pass out. Sitting on the edge of the tub and this bloodied up medical kit sitting on the closed lid of the toilet seat in front of him, a few bandages and whatnot spilled at his feet.

This long moment of staring at one another – Ryan with this _look_ in his eyes under the face paint that Gavin doesn’t want to examine too closely. (Looks like hurt, a little like betrayal and this tired sort of resignation as Ryan’s hand holding the gun shakes for a moment.)

“You too, huh?” he says, seemingly nonsensically, but Gavin’s not really listening.

More concerned with all the bleeding Ryan’s doing and all.

Puts his gun away and cocks his head, barely stops himself from plucking up the medical kit when it registers for him that Ryan’s still got his gun trained on him.

“Are you going to shoot me if I try to help?” Gavin asks, and can’t quite help the annoyance he’s feeling because _honestly_.

Ryan blinks at him as though he’s confused by the question, and he’s still bleeding and all, and Gavin decides to take his chances.

Takes the medical kit and starts rooting through it, picking out the supplies he needs and tries not to worry about the whole gun aimed at him business. 

_Looks_ at Ryan, who lowers his gun – still confused – and lets Gavin patch him up. 

“Where the hell did you learn that?”

Gavin shrugs, and helps Ryan to his living room – would have preferred he get some rest in a real bed, but Ryan’s stubborn, isn’t he. Insists on that terrible couch in the living room and Gavin’s not missed the way he keeps watching Gavin.

“Got into scrapes with a friend back in England,” he says, with another shrug. “His grandmother was a nurse.”

More or less the truth, close enough and all that, and anyway Gavin doubts Ryan really wants the whole story.

Gets Ryan all nice and comfy on his couch. A bit worried and exasperated that he refused any painkillers, but considering how wound up Ryan looks even now, Gavin hadn’t pressed too hard on that  matter.

Sits down in on the edge of his coffee table and looks at Ryan. 

Wants to ask, _but_.

Ryan’s looking back at him, paranoid and dumb about it, and Gavin sighs.

Tells him he got a little worried when Ryan missed their lesson and wanted to check on him, what with his place being in the same direction of Gavin’s and all - 

“It’s not, though,” Ryan murmurs, still a paranoid bastard, but some of the tension’s gone out of him while Gavin’s been babbling at him.

\- “more or less in the same direction,” Gavin amends, and Ryan snorts at him because _yes_.

Gavin sticks around for a little bit, fusses over Ryan and the like before he realizes he needs to get going before the buses stop running. 

Ryan looks like he wants to ask why Gavin even bothered – checking on Ryan, patching him up, looking after him – but he doesn’t. 

Just watches Gavin leave, and Gavin breathes out this shuddery little sigh once he’s in the hallway outside Ryan’s apartment. 

All this worry for the stubborn bastard, and makes a mental note to check in on him in the morning and goes home.

Comes back in the morning before he has to go to work, see what his boss wants him to do that day, and Ryan’s looking a little better. (The tiniest bit.)

Bewildered as hell as Gavin sets a paper bag he brought with him down – medical supplies to restock that medical kit of Ryan’s, some candy and other snacks he’s noticed Ryan seems to like. Another paper bag with donuts from a bakery he passed on his way to Ryan’s after the bus stop.

Gavin offers no explanations as he checks the bandages and whatnot, changes the ones that need it and fusses a little more before he heads off to work.

His boss is agitated, tells Gavin about an incident the previous day. Bunch of idiots who made a bad mistake, this Vagabond fellow who left a message about the whole thing. Turns on the television he keeps in the backroom and the news story running about this horrible incident that took place.

Forensics team markers next to blood stains, bullet riddled car in the background and other things that add up to one hell of a gunfight. Mentions of fatal shootings and the like and Gavin’s boss looks at him.

Asks him how his lesson went the night before and Gavin isn’t sure how to answer just yet. (Remembers that look in Ryan’s eyes when he realized the idiot who broke into his apartment was Gavin, how he seemed so resigned about it.)

He’s careful about it, but his boss has been at this longer, and breathes this sigh of relief at discovering Ryan hasn’t managed to get himself killed. Tells Gavin to keep an eye on him if and when he can, and gets back to business.

Wants Gavin’s help in untangling the mess the idiots caused by double-crossing the Vagabond.

(Gavin’s had these little pieces piling up in the back of his head all this time, clues about who Ryan is when he’s not stopping by the backroom or teaching Gavin how to shoot,  throw knives and other fun things, but it isn’t until now that he consciously puts them together and realizes that Ryan is this terrifying bastard the city’s learning to be afraid of.)

They get a good start on things, get an idea of what happened and who to watch in the coming days and so on, and Gavin’s boss shoos him off. Tells him they’ll get back to it in the morning and go home already. 

And he means to, he does, but after a quick detour first.

Goes to check on Ryan who is miserable even if he won’t admit to it. Watches Gavin fussing around again, is feeling bad enough that he accepts an aspirin when Gavin brings it up.

Shares the takeout Gavin brought with him and listens to him rambling on about something or other until he dozes off. 

Gavin not realizing it at first, but then he looks over at Ryan as he’s asking him a question and _oh_.

Because Ryan’s asleep.

This paranoid bastard who was so close to putting a bullet in Gavin the night before is asleep. Exhausted and worn out, in pain – vulnerable – but he’s _asleep_.

And Gavin, alright. 

He likes the stubborn bastard, quite a bit really, and he never expected Ryan might like him back too, enough to be disappointed at the thought Gavin was in on what happened to get him all injured like this, be part of the whole _incident_ that had his boss so worried, ended up on the news and such. (Enough to trust him like this.)

Thinks about that, what it could mean seeing as Ryan is this Vagabond fellow, and has no idea what to do with any of it. (Oh, he knows what he wants to do with it, but no damn idea about Ryan, so best not to think too much on it and all.)

Makes Ryan as comfortable as he can and goes home for the night.

Checks on him before he goes to work in the morning and on his way home afterward. Helps his boss sort everything out in between and keeps Ryan up to date on things while he recovers. 

Makes some idle comment about Ryan using a mask or something similar when he’s fussing over the cuts on his face, one dangerously close to his eye. (About dies laughing later on when Ryan takes him up on that advice, gets the most extra mask ever for someone in his line of work.)

And when Ryan’s healed up enough to get around on his own, head to the store and the backroom to sort out his own business, he actually talks to Gavin now when he sees him there.

Gavin’s boss sees the whole mess as a way to start giving Gavin more and more of the heavy lifting with his business, which is mostly being an information broker to the criminal types of the city. (Mostly.)

Goes on little trips, longer and longer while he leaves Gavin to run things in Los Santos.

Ryan works on building up his reputation, and keeps up his lessons with Gavin which start go from being purely instructional to something else over time. 

And that really starts when Ryan introduces Gavin to sniper rifles and Gavin shows a talent for it. And Ryan dithers for a bit before taking Gavin out to his favorite spots outside the city to practice, just the two of them and a few scenic vistas, nice and quiet and  far enough out that they figure bringing something to eat wouldn’t be a terrible idea, that stopping at this roadside diner on way back to the city sounds good and so on and so on and so on. 

Gavin’s boss decides Gavin’s ready to handle things on his own and retires – Gavin is absolutely certain the man has lost his mind.

Before his boss leaves though, some cruise or other to kick things off, he pulls in one of his most trusted people. Kid by the name of Alfredo who’s meant to help Gavin keep his business running, be his backup and the like.

Tells Gavin Alfredo is a damn idiot, but good at what he does. That he won’t fail him and so on, and Gavin tells him he’s still a damn loon for thinking Gavin’s ready to take over for him, but have a nice cruise anyway.

Gavin does okay for the most part, maybe some idiots get a bit pushy, think they can bypass all these Rules Gavin’s boss had in place for the business he took care of for various criminal type. 

Snatch Gavin on his way to work one morning, ask him all kinds of questions – somewhat polite at first, and then just downright rude, what with the knives and all.

Gavin in some dingy little room for hours, days, wondering if this is it for him when he hears gunshots and yelling (dying), and the door to the room is kicked in, Ryan and Alfredo spilling into the room, both of them looking a bit desperate around the eyes.

But Ryan, though.

He’s the one who comes up to Gavin, looks wrecked as he takes in the state of him, all battered and bruised the kinds of things someone can do with a knife if they’re the creative sort looking to pull answers and information out of someone reluctant to share.

Can’t quite seem to look Gavin in the eye as he and Alfredo get him out of there, take him to some doctor who doesn’t ask questions. Alfredo telling Gavin he’ll handle work until Gavin’s on his feet, this glint in his eye like he’s got plans when it comes to people like the ones who grabbed Gavin.

Ryan takes him home - and when Gavin points out his apartment is in the other direction Ryan slants a look at him, says his place is more or less in the same direction and proceeds to fuss over Gavin like a champ.

Gavin giving him these looks because he’s fine, really. All superficial wounds and the like, the people who grabbed him were idiots for doing so, yes, but they knew what they were doing with their little interrogations.  
Ryan ignores him, because of course he does, and Gavin lets him because he can tell Ryan needs it as much as he does.

Watches the big, bad, Vagabond. Terror of Los Santos and whatever else people have taken to calling him fretting over making Gavin _tea_. (He’s done some reading, all these internet sites and whatnot talking about the proper way to make tea and it’s one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever done for Gavin, really.)

Takes the tea Ryan brings him and sets it down on his coffee table, smiles at the frown that gets him – and tugs Ryan down to sit next to him. Pushes and prods until Ryan’s not sitting so stiffly net to him, and leans against him. 

Winces and hisses a little when he puts pressure on an injury or other hurt, hand on Ryan’s arm to keep him from getting up and fussing, and after a bit of work arranges them so they’re both comfortable. Picks up his tea and sips it – not quite right, but Ryan tried and  the whole thing about it being the thought that matters – and murmurs a thank you. (For the tea, for bringing Alfredo to get him, all sorts of things.)

Ryan sighing, long and low, this shaky little thing as he puts his arm around Gavin and they just sit there for a while until Gavin falls asleep.

Ryan stays at Gavin’s place for a few days, all tense and worried and checking in with Alfredo while Gavin watches him. 

Exasperate and a little annoyed, but not entirely ungrateful because the thought of being alone at the moment is a little terrifying.

Ryan fussing and fretting over him, sticking close when Gavin decides he’s well enough to get back to work and everyone, _everyone_ , realizing after this latest incident what a bad idea it is to go after Gavin. (Before it was due to the Rules and all, now there’s the Vagabond and Alfredo to consider, so.)

Gavin’s more careful after that, and with Ryan and Alfredo keeping an eye on things he’s (more or less) untouchable.

Things go on like that for a while, business picking up after a few months because there are new players in town and it’s got everyone in an uproar.

Gavin and Ryan dancing around this little thing of theirs while Alfredo laughs at them, and then!

Gavin dips into the money he’s got set aside and gets a new place, bigger, bit fancier and the like and if Ryan’s things migrate over there, well. No one mentions it, now do they. (Well, okay. Alfredo does, but he’s a cheeky one, that Alfredo.)

Eventually Ryan heads off on a job, tasks Alfredo with watching Gavin, and he’s gone for a while.

Checks in regularly and such, but he’s got a bounty or something similar that’s proving to be a wily, and it’s annoying as hell.

Gavin laughing at him and Ryan pouting at him over the phone, and this whole Thing they’re totally going address properly when he gets back, _really_. (Alfredo rolling his eyes because he’s heard that one before? But yeah, okay. Sure thing, boss.)

Dan comes to call somewhere in there, has suspected for a long damn time that Gavin’s been Up To Something, has it all confirmed with the bandages and scars and the whatnot.

Gets the whole story out of Gavin who is expecting Dan to be upset or angry with him, horrified, maybe, but Dan is just. 

“You _idiot_ ,” and oh my yes, there’s anger and yelling and the like, but it’s all out of _worry_.

This little idiot who’s gotten caught up in criminal life because it’s Gavin and God even knows how his  mind works most days, and Gavin realizes that Dan might not be okay with what he’s doing – criminal life and all – but he’s hardly about to cut him out of his life, is he? (They find some middle ground somewhere, and Gavin’s careful not to get him involved for his own sake and so on.)

Eventually Dan heads back to England, makes Gavin swear to be careful – gets a better promise from Alfredo that he’ll look out for the idiot – and then it’s Gavin and Alfredo and all the business they see to.

At some point while Ryan’s gone Gavin gets a new client, this Ramsey fellow. All interested in what Gavin’s willing to tell him about the goings on in Los Santos, and Gavin, okay.

Gavin is fascinated with him and his Plans. 

One of the Founders of the Roosters, all the way here in Los Santos?  


Interesting indeed.

Especially when Gavin finds out more about what he’s been doing in Los Santos, some of the people he’s recruited for his crew. The jobs they pull with the information Gavin gives him.

Tells Ryan all about it – the Fakes – when he gets back to Los Santos.

Greets him with a welcome home and this daring kiss, delighted laughter at the blush that steals across Ryan’s cheeks as he stares at Gavin in surprise before he goes in for an encore, and there’s less talking involved than expected, what with the kissing and whatnot.

Alfredo cannot stop laughing when Gavin shows up at the store, goes into the backroom with hickeys showing because Ryan is a right bastard about that kind of thing. (It works out in the end, though, because there’s this thief Alfredo’s taken a shine to and that’s all kinds of entertaining right there.)

Gavin laughs for days when Ryan comes home, this baffled look on his face when he tells Gavin that Ramsey tricked him into working for him? Said a bunch of things that made no damn sense and before he knew it Ryan agreed to give his crew a try???

And then Gavin’s got some information Geoff asked for, and instead of sending Alfredo or one of his other people to deliver it, Gavin goes himself.

Wants to meet Ryan’s new crew – and they are his crew, first one he’s worked with he actually likes. Might stick with after this trial period Geoff proposed, keen to convince Ryan to join up.

They’re working on plans for a heist, and Gavin brings the information Geoff wanted. Shows up in this horrifically obnoxious outfit, bites back a laugh at the way Ryan’s looking at him because _what the hell is Gavin doing???_

Geoff’s a little wary at Gavin coming in person, clearly nervous at the way Gavin is poking the Vagabond. _Needling_ him, and it occurs to Gavin that Geoff doesn’t _know_.

Somehow hasn’t realized that the Vagabond is connected to Gavin and his business - that Ryan is a massive dork - and has a little fun with it.

Decides to take a more involved part in things for now, keeps coming back to the penthouse the Fakes are set up in, watches the way the others are clearly waiting for the Vagabond to snap, just up and murder Gavin one of these days.  


Carefully doesn’t laugh at them all, and after a bit Ryan unbends, joins Gavin in fucking with them, because it’s bloody hilarious. 

Totally worth it when the Fakes realize what’s going on, that Gavin and Ryan are a Thing (a goopy, sappy kind of Thing) and also complete assholes.

And maybe, maybe, Gavin likes the crew a lot too, enough to hand over the day-to-day running of his inherited business to Alfredo and that thief of his. Give this whole criminal lifestyle a proper go of it with the Fakes, and Ryan despairing of this little idiot with the barest amount of common sense to him.


End file.
